by S. L. Siwik
“Not yet,” I explain. “I have to first check on Kendall. Make sure she’s alright.”
He releases a long, drawn out breath, but I keep my head held high as I wait for his reaction.
“Of course.”
“Thank you,” I reply, making my way for the way out.
He unlocks the door for me, holding it open.
“I’ll be right back,” I promise.
“I’ll be waiting.” His voice is seductively low and full of innuendo. I try not to shiver.
Walking down the hallway, I open the first bedroom and find Andrea. She glances up at me naked, unashamed in the least. When you have a body like Andrea’s, there’s little reason to feel embarrassed. But, I know that with her, it’s so much more than that. After years of being seen naked by every kind of man God ever created, modesty is thrown out the window and replaced with survival tactics.
“Hey, babe,” she says, smiling easily.
I close the door behind me, walking into the room.
“Hey. Just wanted to make sure everything was okay.”
“Are you kidding me? This place is like a fricken palace!” She exclaims while taking out her pajamas. “Find out if we can come here next weekend!”
“I don’t know,” I reply, sitting down on the bed. “I wouldn’t get too comfortable with this. Remember, it’s temporary.”
Andrea rolls her eyes at me. “That guy is in love with you. There’s no other reason he’d be putting up with me, the third wheel, and Kendall all day long. He’s trying to carve a place in your life and show you that he is comfortable with the people in it. And if you have any sort of brains up there in that head of yours, you’ll let him know loud and clear that he’s doing a great job.”
I sigh heavily. “Andrea, he’s paying me for sex. Two grand a week. That’s our situation. I’m his fucking prostitute. That’s all this is. He realized that if he wanted more sex, you guys would have to come along.”
She snorts. “Do you think a man like Blaze deals with anything he doesn’t want to? He doesn’t have to! The man has more money than God! If he wanted you all by himself, he would have just paid me to watch Kendall all weekend long and whisked you away by yourself.”
I shake my head. “I told him you two had to agree if I was going to come.”
She rolls her eyes at me again. “I think if Blaze wanted to push the matter, he could have persuaded you otherwise.” Okay. She had me there. Blaze can definitely be persuasive when he wants to be. “Why can’t you just accept that the guy is in love with you?”
“For the same reason you can’t accept that you’ll ever find your happy ever after,” I reply.
Her jaw tenses. “That is a completely different situation!”
I shake my head as my heart breaks for my friend. “No, it’s not. I don’t care that you can’t have children. You’ll find someone who loves you just as you are, who doesn’t care about your past, who doesn’t care that you can’t have kids. They’ll just love you unconditionally.”
She snorts. “Right. Like that ever happens anywhere but in fairy tales.”
“Look around!” I shout out, “We’re in a fairy tale right now. I’m an ex-hooker, turned mom, turned secretary, who is now spending the weekend in the Hamptons in a home I could never afford and am about to sleep in a bed with a man I love who’s paying me two grand a week. Strange shit happens sometimes.”
Andrea smiles widely. “Yeah, I guess so.”
We both start laughing until tears roll down our eyes and end up hugging each other. Both wipe our tears away.
“Okay. I’ll make you a deal,” she whispers, “If you start believing you’re good enough for Blaze, then I’ll start believing my Mr. Perfect is out there too.”
“Deal,” I reply, wiping away more tears.
Andrea wipes away her tears quickly, uncomfortable with an outpouring of emotion. She has been taught that it’s a weakness. She only cries around me.
“Go take care of your man now. I’m sure he’s in need of something after today. Probably a nice, long blow job after that rock he bought you today.”
“It’s pretty impressive, isn’t it?” I reply, picking up the chain from my neck.
“Honey, it’s platinum set in diamonds. The bling of that thing hurts my eyes.” I smile in response. She motions towards the door with her head. “Go.”
Knowing it’s my cue, I kiss her on the forehead before walking out the door.
***
I walk into the next room and find Kendall in her pajamas already in bed, reading a book.
Hearing me walk in, she looks up, smiling. “Hey, Aunt Vikkie.”
“Hey, Little Bee. Whatcha reading?”
“Oh a fantasy book I borrowed from the library.” She holds the book out for me to read the title.
“Sounds good,” I reply before sitting down on the edge of the bed. “Can we talk?”
“Sure,” she replies, placing the book down on her lap. I inhale deeply, trying to gather courage. “I just wanted to talk to you and make sure that you’re alright with all of this- meeting Blaze, coming here this weekend. I know a lot has happened quickly, and we really haven’t had a chance to talk about it.”
“I like him,” she replies quickly before biting her lip. “Is that okay?”
“Of course it is,” I answer quickly to reassure her.
She smiles brightly. “Good. He’s really nice. Daddy would have liked him a lot.”
I try holding back the tears threatening to spill. “You think so?”
She nods her head emphatically. “I think mom would have liked him too…eventually.”
I laugh at her statement. “Your mother was cautious around new people. But, I’d like to think she’d warm up to him.” I rub her leg through the blanket. “All that matters to me right now, though, is if you’re okay with him.”
“Yeah,” she replies, “I feel like I can talk to him about anything. Like he’s an old friend.”
I smile at that. Strangely, I feel the exact opposite around him, always trying to bury my truths deep below the surface, afraid of what will push him away.
“I’m glad you feel like that. I’m glad that you like him.”
“Is Blaze going to be around a lot?” she asks, hopefully.
I try to bury my fears deep down inside, because I’m asking the same question in my own head.
Plastering on a smile, I reply, “Well, we’re friends. So, I don’t see why he wouldn’t be.”
She smiles easily at that, and I stand up, kissing her forehead. “Don’t read too late. I think we have a fun day ahead of us tomorrow. Don’t want to be too tired to enjoy it.”
Kendall closes her book, tossing it on the nightstand. She snuggles into the bed, smiling. I stare at her for another minute, wishing I could give anything to keep her just like this forever, to keep life from slapping her some more. But, I know I can’t, because life doesn’t work like that. It steals the best of us like Evalyn and Rich and leaves the shit behind for far too long. Because life isn’t fair; it’s just fucking chaos that you hope to survive long enough to enjoy.
Turning out the light, I close the door behind me and walk down the hall.
***
Entering into Blaze’s room, I lock the door behind me. The room is pitch black besides one lit candle on the night stand.
“Blaze?” I whisper out.
He chuckles a deep throaty laugh. “Come find me.”
His words spur me into action, and I make my way across the room. I pull back the curtain to find Blaze lying in bed in silk pajamas. A candle is lit on the end table, its soft glow illuminating his features.
“Found you,” I say in a sing song voice.
“So, you did. You’ll have to decide what you want to do with me now.” His voice is deliciously deep.
I slip beneath the curtains and sink into the plush, California King bed.
My head hits the pillows, and I fan my hands out over the soft bedding like making a snow
angel into his comforter. The material is heavenly on my skin in its shimmering silver material. The room is distinctly male in its color palate, but with soft touches like the sheer cream curtains around the bed.
“Blaze, this bed is heavenly. I love it!”
Lying on his side he smiles. “I’m glad you think so. I want us to spend a lot of time here.”
I smile, trying to hide my nervousness. “Is that so?”
Leaning over, he kisses me. “Mmmhmm.” Laying on his side, his palm strokes across my belly. “Is this alright?” he asks me. My heart goes into overdrive that he is asking permission to touch me.
“Yes,” I breathe out. “You can touch me whenever you’d like. Just not at the office when clients are there because rumors will fly, and not in front of Kendall because that will confuse her. Anywhere else, however ,you can touch me all you’d like.” I think about that statement for a moment and realize if people know us on the street, rumors will also fly. “Also not in public.”
He frowns at my words. “Are you embarrassed to be seen with me?”
I glance at him, confused as to why he would come to that conclusion. “Not in the slightest. Proud is more like it. But, you are a person who people love to gossip about. If people see you touching me, rumors will start.” I feel heartbroken thinking about what would come next. “And I’m not a woman that you want to be connected to outside of work.”
There. I said it. I am being brave. Now he knows.
His brows pull together as his lips press in a tight line. His hand moves from my stomach to the side of my body, bracing himself over me. I can feel his straining muscles against my rib cage. His lips hover over mine. “I don’t care who sees me with you, and I don’t care about their opinions.”
His lips gently brush against mine, but that’s all it takes for my heart to hammer and for my body to feel like someone zapped it with electricity. I run my hands through my hair, fisting his inky tresses, as I plunge my tongue into his mouth. He eagerly accepts my kiss, kissing me back with the same intensity as his tongue sweeps over mine in broad, sure strokes. When I’m gasping and panting, I finally pull back.
“I don’t know how to deal with the tabloids,” I whisper against his lips. “And I have to be concerned about Kendall seeing them. I try to keep her fairly protected, but I can’t shelter her from it all.” He frowns at me, a deep etch in his forehead. “But, please don’t ever think that I’d be embarrassed to be with you. Nothing could be further from the truth, Blaze.”
He takes a long, drawn out breath and I can see in his eyes that he’s relenting. “I understand. I don’t pay attention to the tabloids anymore. Apparently, last week alone, I was dating five different women. All happen to be clients.” He shakes his head before smiling. “Do you know that last week I was in a secret love affair with Mrs. Henderson?”
I laugh loudly. “She’s eighty!”
His smile brightens, meeting his eyes. “Exactly.” I caress his now stubbly skin, mesmerized by the feel. I have only seen Blaze clean shaven at the office. I press my lips back to his. “But, I understand that you’re not used to this.” His hands dip lower on my belly, skimming across my pant line. “I know it’s difficult. If anyone understands, it’s me. So, I can respect your wishes.” His eyes darken, sending my pulse hammering. “But, when we’re alone, you’re mine.”
I nod my head. “I’m yours.” Always.
“I can be a gentleman in public, but right now, I’d rather show you all of the ungentleman-like thoughts that have been running through my mind all day.”
His knee lands between my legs and he gently spreads my thigh open. In one quick movement, he is sitting between my legs. Lowering himself down, he rests on elbows. Threading our hands together, he places them above my head.
I am pinned between the soft bed and his hard body and there’s nowhere else that I’d rather be. His lips hover over mine, and I can’t breathe. Too busy waiting…waiting to see what he’ll do next. My stomach is balled up in knots, my fingers are squeezing his, and I can feel the buttons of his dress shirt through my shirt dotting up my belly. I can also feel his desire through his dress pants, teasing me.
His nose skims down mine before he kisses the tip, and he smiles, humor lighting up his eyes. He’s doing this on purpose! Blaze knows the effect that he’s having on me, and he is winding me up purposefully. I groan loudly, biting my lower lip.
“No,” he replies huskily. “I want that.”
He tugs on my lower lip, his teeth grazing my flesh before his lips crash into mine, and my mouth parts as I am his all too willing prisoner. His tongue sweeps across mine the way it always does- sure, determined, like everything else about his personality. It’s impossible not to buckle, not to get swept away by it. So, I do and allow him to set the rhythm of the kiss while I meet his pace. But, it’s not enough, not nearly enough, and I need him naked again. I need to be with him again. My hips start grinding upwards to his, to show him just how much I want him, and he groans out loudly.
“Are you going to behave? Or do I need to tie you up?” he asks in a husky voice.
“You’re going to need to tie me up,” I reply, breathless. “Because I need you too badly at this point.”
Kisses trail down my neck as he nips at my collar bone. His hands slide down my body, and I exhale shakily at the feel of his strong grip on my body. Sliding my shirt over my head, he tosses it onto the floor. Blaze kisses his way across my throat kissing down my shoulder. Unsnapping the front clasp of my bra with ease, he tosses the garment as well.
His smile turns positively devious as he holds our entwined hand out. He sits up, straddling my body, and I can’t help but ogle his fine physique even if it is wrapped in silk at the moment. Taking the curtain, he pulls it back, bunching it in his hands. He then lets go of my hand, grabbing my wrist, and wrapping the material around. After wrapping it three times, he ties it in a loose knot.
I exhale slowly. I haven’t been tied up and been submissive in years. It was not a pleasant experience. But, this is a different man. He’s not like Trent at all, and he’ll listen when I say I’m uncomfortable. Maybe I need this. A pleasant experience with this. All I have is that one God-awful experience that left me shaking for days afterwards.
His eyes lock on mine, and he’s gauging my reaction. Waiting. Pausing. Waiting for assurance. I nod firmly. The most breathtaking smile breaks out over his face as he takes my other hand and lifts it. Doing the same to this hand as the other, he meets my gaze again.
“Are you comfortable?” he asks.
“For now. Yes,” I admit. The way my arms are extended, I know it will be painful soon.
“At any point, they can be undone,” he replies in a manner that leaves no doubt he means every single word.
I nod in acceptance. I probably should be freaking out, but I’m not. I trust him that much. Especially after seeing him with Kendall. It’s my Achilles’ heel now. The man could do all manner of craziness to me and all I need to think of is the image of Blaze kneeling down before Kendall to drop eye level with her, and I’ll take it all. Gladly.
“Should we tie up your legs?” he asks.
I bite my lower lip. Am I okay with that? I nod.
His fingers run down my body, my chest heaving as he passes the valley between my breasts down my stomach. His fingers trail along to my hips, giving them a squeeze, and in that moment, I realize how badly he wants me too. I can feel his frustration in that touch, and I smile at him. He has me. Now he just has to unwrap the present. He undoes my shorts, placing a soft kiss on my lower belly. Pulling down my pants, his palm then brushes over my lace panties. I can feel the warmth of his skin caressing me through the material, and I sigh.
He kisses my sex through the material and I squirm, wanting the material gone. His eyes glance up at me between my legs. “I’ll definitely need to tie you up.”
His fingers hook in my panties, dragging them down my body. His fingertips caress my outer thighs and calves
all the way down to my ankles. Tossing the panties aside, he picks up my ankle. Thankfully, I took my shoes off when I walked into the house. He kisses the pad of my foot, and I have no idea how it’s so sensual, but the blood rushes straight to my sex.
“Is there any part of you that’s not sexy?” he asks me, with a half-smile. My heart seizes up, and I think I might be having an aneurysm. I can’t even respond, just blink.