by S. L. Siwik
A vase full of long-stem lavender roses is held out in front of me. “For Victoria Wright,” a squeaky voice says.
“Thank you,” I take the vase from him, passing it off to a smirking Andrea. I turn around to grab my purse. “Hold on a minute. Let me get you something,” I tell the messenger, searching for money in my wallet.
“No, ma ‘am. I can’t.” Confused, I glance up, questioning the man. “Mr. Townsend paid me extra in tip to refuse yours. I’m not allowed to take a dime from you.” I clench my fist. I have no idea why this pisses me off so much, but it infuriates me. “Enjoy your flowers,” he says before walking away.
I hear laughter behind me as Andrea places the vase down on the kitchen counter. “You’ve gotta admit, he’s good.”
“He’s a pain in my-”
The door rings again.
Andrea laughs louder as I roll my eyes walking back towards the door. Opening it, a vase of yellow roses with orange tips held out in front of me.
“For Victoria Wright,” a softer voice says.
I take the vase from this messenger as Andrea walks over to take the vase from me. “Let me guess,” I say to the twenty-something-year-old girl in front of me. “You can’t take a tip from me.”
She blows a big pink bubble with her gum before popping it. “Nope. Enjoy the flowers,” she replies before walking away.
I shut the door annoyed, wondering who was in need of a spanking now. Definitely Blaze.
“Are there any cards on the flowers?” I ask.
Andrea, searching through the cards nods. She holds them out for me.
Opening the first card, I read:
When you came for your interview, I wasn’t looking into the eyes of my future secretary, rather into the eyes of my future. When we shook hands, the spark that flew from your hand to mine was undeniable. I never wanted your interview to end.
Lavender roses represent love at first sight. I never thought it was possible, until I felt it myself. But, I was yours at first glance.
Yours since the beginning,
Blaze
I gasp at the card, and I turn to Andrea who is looking at me smiling. “Well, open the second card already!” she exclaims.
With shaky hands, I open it :
Yellow roses with orange tips represent falling in love. That’s exactly what has happened every day since the first day we met. I fell in love with you more each day. There’s no cure for it either, except to love you more.
With love,
Blaze
The minute I finish reading the card, the doorbell rings. I nearly run Andrea over to answer the door. Flinging the door open, I grab the vase of blue roses. Blue? What does that mean?
“Thank you,” I shout as I kick the door closed. I run into the kitchen as Andrea eagerly awaits me to read the next card with me.
I rip the envelope open.
Blue roses represent the unattainable, the impossible. That is what you have always felt to me. I have been an outsider looking into your life all of these years. And I’ve always wondered: Am I in this alone?
Hopelessly in love,
Blaze
My heart breaks at his words.
“Blaze, I never knew,” I whisper out.
The doorbell rings again and Andrea answers this time, closest to the door. She walks back in with a vase full of bright orange roses. I rip the card from the bouquet before she’s even set the flowers down.
Ripping open the card, Andrea stands over my shoulder reading:
Orange flowers represent enthusiasm, desire, fascination. All of these words I feel for you. I won’t give up. Not until you understand just how much we were meant for each other. If it takes me the rest of my life to prove it to you, that will be a life well spent. I will always want you, Victoria. Nothing will ever change that.
Forever yours,
Blaze
I wipe a fallen tear away.
“If you don’t forgive him, I will personally kick your ass for the rest of my life,” Andrea threatens.
I stare at her helplessly. How will this work out? How will it end in anything but pain?
The doorbell rings again. How many messages does he have left to send?
Taking the vase of white roses from the messenger, I close the door. After placing them down, I open the card:
White roses represent new beginnings. I cannot take back what I’ve done, or all the mistakes I’ve made. The twenty thousand pay raise is yours, Victoria. The contracts will be there for you to sign tomorrow. Five bouquets of roses represent the five incredible years that you’ve worked for me, for all that you helped me accomplish. Tell me you’ll come back, tell me you’ll stay. Tell me that you’re mine. Because I can’t live without you. You’ve become the air I need to breathe. There is no going back to the way we were before; I cannot do that. But, I can offer you a bright, beautiful future. The possibilities are endless.
Hopeful,
Blaze
The doorbell rings again, and when I open it, I gasp in shock.
“Blaze…”
He is standing there, looking up at me broken, holding a red rose. “Red roses say, ‘I love you.’ Thornless roses represent love at first sight. I have been trying to tell you all along.”
He holds out the rose and I take it from him. My eyes flicker to his, so that he understands the sincerity of my words, “Blaze, I’ve loved you since the first moment I saw you too. But, this will never work out. We come from two different worlds. I have too many skeletons in my closet, made too many mistakes. You’re too famous. The only way that I can protect you and Kendall is by staying away. That’s why I’ve been running, not because I don’t love you.”
Determination takes over as the dominant look in his eyes as he grabs my shoulders, pushing himself into the apartment. My back hits into the wall.
“Let me guess you’re going to keep me here pinned to the wall,” I seethe.
“It’s the only way I can get you to talk to me. You’re always running from me, Victoria. If I back you into a wall, though, you start being honest and talking to me,” Blaze growls.
“Fine! You want to know why I have to stay away? Why it’s the only way I can protect you and Kendall?”
“I want to know it all…all the ugly, dark parts,” he says.
I shake my head, glancing away. “I’m not sure what will make you leave.”
“Nothing will make me leave, Victoria…Just tell me it all. Tell me why you’re always running.”
“My mother was a prostitute junkie. She died when I was sixteen with a needle in her arm. My father was a gambling drunk. He would come home every night and beat me. He died that year, too. Drank himself to death. The last time he hit me, he nearly killed me. Evalyn took care of me, cleaned me up, bandaged the deep wounds. When my parents died, the state let me stay with her. When I turned eighteen, they couldn’t afford for me to stay, since I was out of the welfare system. So, I was a hooker for wealthy business men. That’s what I did before working at the club. I was a high priced hooker for three years. Do you know how many times I’ve been afraid that an old client of mine would waltz into the office and tell you who I used to be?”
“I’m still waiting for the part about why we can’t be together,” Blaze says, his eyes burning into mine.
“Can’t you see? My past will come out. There’s no way to hide it. Once that gets out, your business will suffer. I also can’t keep this from Kendall. She’ll know, Blaze. She can’t ever know. I don’t ever want her embarrassed or ashamed of me.” My eyes plead with him to walk away while my fingers claw into his shoulders to keep him there.
“Do you love me?” he asks calmly. My eyes close, knowing if I answer, it’ll give him the strength to wage war against the city. “It’s a simple yes or no question.”
“Yes,” I whisper out. “From the moment our eyes met, I was yours. It’s why I haven’t been with anyone in five years. It’s always been you.”
“You’ve been in love
with me all this time?” he asks.
“Yes,” I whisper.
I open my eyes to find him staring at me. “All this time we could have been together. Five years we’ve wasted…out of fear.”
I bite my bottom lip. “I suppose so. But, I don’t see any of the time that I’ve worked for you as time wasted. Even though I wasn’t in your life completely, I was happy with what I had. Besides, it was a valid fear. If this didn’t work out between us, we both had a lot to lose.”
“And everything to gain.” He sighs loudly. “I promise no one will hurt you, and Kendall will never know.” He laces our hands together, holding them up. “Until the day I die, I will live to make you smile.”
I lean in, kissing him, drowning myself in all that is Blaze Townsend. It’s powerful enough to make a woman forget her own name. And that name works so well for him, because every time I’m around him, there’s a wild fire in my belly, threatening to take me over. Blaze is like his name, a bright light, streaking across my life, illuminating all the ugly, dark parts and making them beautiful. He is a man with a beautiful heart and enticing soul, a flame burning strongly and brightly. But, a blaze can also consume, destroying anything in its path. And he will consume me, I know it. But, sometimes...sometimes a cleansing fire is necessary for one to begin anew.
He pulls away from me, and I whimper at the loss of his lips, of his tongue, of his love…
“Are you in this with me, Victoria? No more running? We stand and face everything together, because I will protect you from them all. Believe it. No more paying for sex. I want you in my life permanently, because I honestly can’t imagine you not in it.”
I nod. “I’m in.”
Releasing my hands, he picks me up by the waist, pulling me to him. I wrap my legs around his waist, as he kisses me hard. Tears stream down my face and he kisses them away.
“Don’t worry I’ll let myself out,” Andrea says from behind me.
“Dre…I-”
She holds her hand up. “I stayed just to make sure that you forgave him. I told you that if you didn’t, I’d kick your ass from here to tomorrow every day. I meant it, too.” I open my mouth to speak, but she holds up her hand to stop me. “Don’t, Tori. You deserve this. “
I smile warmly. “I love you.”
“You better!” She winks at me. “Now I think every part of you should hug every part of him. Then I want all the details tomorrow.”
Smiling ear to ear, I nod. “Okay.”
With a wink, Andrea leaves.
“Don’t worry, I won’t tell her any details,” I assure him.
“Where’s Sunshine?” Blaze asks.
“At the library with classmates. They are doing a group project for Science class. She won’t be back for at least another hour.”
“Are you hungry?” he asks as he brushes hair out of my face. I melt into his touch.
“Starving,” I reply as Blaze’s palm brushes down my belly. “But, I’m hungry for something else right now.”
He frowns, brushing more hair out of my eyes. “I’m sorry about your parents. I’m sorry I didn’t know you sooner and could have gotten you out of that. No one deserves that life…especially not you.”
I brush my finger over his bottom lip. Desire taking over, I tug on it with my teeth. “It’s over. There’s no reason to look backwards. Besides, it’s made me who I am today.”
He pulls me off the wall, grabs my leg, and wraps it around his waist. His nose skims against mine. “And I’m a big fan of who you are today.” Smiling, he kisses me, and takes my breath away. Wrapping my other leg around his body, he picks me up as he starts to walk down the hall towards my bedroom. “And now it’s time to take care of that hunger of yours.”
You can call me a prostitute, a whore. You can call me spineless. I won’t try to argue. Because what I really am, what I’ve always been…is his.
***
After sex, we take a shower, and then have shower sex. Then we have trying to get dressed sex. I slide my shirt on; Blaze pulls it off, biting my skin. It ends with us tangled in the sheets again. Finally, Blaze’s phone beeps. Mine does at the same time.
“Kendall is on her way home,” I explain. “I need some time to talk to her about this.”
“You don’t need to do this alone anymore. We’ll talk to her together.”
“Okay,” I reply softly.
We begin to dress. Twenty minutes later, Kendall arrives home and I’m a ball of nerves by then. There is no manual on how to discuss something like this with her. I really wish there was.
Kendall walks through the door, and I release all of the air I’m holding in. “Let me talk to her first. Then you come in later,” I whisper. Blaze nods.
“Hey, hon,” I greet as I walk out to the living room.
“Hey, Auntie.” She drops her bag down onto the floor.
“Did your research go well?” I ask, wringing my hands together.
“Yup, and Mrs. Clemons told me to thank you for the cupcakes.”
I nod. Mrs. Clemons is the mother of Kendall’s friend. She drove her home tonight from the library because she has a car.
“I’m glad she liked them.” I wring my hands together again. “Kendall , sweetie, I need to talk to you about something.”
She instantly looks alarmed, no doubt because of my nerves. “Okay.”
“Sweetie, I-”
I have no idea how to word this. I’d rather deal with power hungry CEO’s all day long than have this conversation with this innocent teenager. I want to laugh out loud at the absurdity of the situation. I’m asking permission from Kendall to have a boyfriend.
Blaze walks down the hall and moves to my side. “What your aunt is trying to say is that I love her very much. I’m crazy about you too, Kendall, and I want to know if you’d like me in your life on a more permanent basis as well.”
Her eyes light up. “Really?”
Blaze nods. “Really.”
“Awesome!” she exclaims before throwing her arms around Blaze.
I sigh in relief. This couldn’t have gone better.
“Do you mind if I sleep over tonight?” he asks.
“Nope,” she replies, still snuggled into his chest.
I glance at the clock. “Kendall, are you hungry?” I ask.
“A little,” she admits.
“What do you ladies want?” Blaze asks.
We sit down on the couch together, and I listen to Blaze and Kendall try to decide what they want to eat. I sit back and watch with such happiness, because this…this is what Kendall should have had all along. This is what she would have had if her father and mother hadn’t died. I’ve always known that Kendall got a raw deal in life, and that I was never enough. We were just two orphans picking up the pieces and trying the best we could to get through life. I’ve tried the best that I could, though. How do you ever know if you’ve done enough?
They decide on Thai, and Kendall wants to try a dish that Blaze suggests. As he calls and makes the order he glances over at me at winks. I smile thinly at him and he reaches across the couch and takes my hand. His comforting touch pulls me out of my somber thoughts.
After we eat, Kendall goes to sleep and I choke up when I watch her kiss Blaze good night. I’m an emotional mess when I walk into my bedroom and he knows.
We tumble to the bed, and he starts unbuttoning my shirt while kissing his way down my exposed skin.
“Blaze, we can’t. Not with Kendall still awake,” I whisper.
He slips my breast out of my bra and nips it. My eyes instantly roll back.
“What were you saying?” I can see his smile in the dark.
“You’re bad,” I reply while laughing. “you’re very bad.”
“I was away too long. I missed you,” he murmurs against my skin as he kisses his way down my belly.
“Blaze, you have to stop,” I protest.
His hand slides up my skirt and rubs over my panties. “What were you saying?”
My
phone rings. I lean over and pick it up from the end table. It’s the nursing home where Evalyn’s mother stays.
“I have to answer this,” I tell him sternly.
His hand slips out of my skirt, but he continues to kiss around my belly button.
“Hello?” I answer.