Not About That Life (Feeling Some Type of Way Book 3)

by Vera Roberts

  “Greetings,” a booming voice appears and a short time later, I see Saint Nick who seemingly came out of nowhere. Or maybe he was in front of me all along and I paid more attention to the women above my head than the man standing on the floor and between them.

  Nick is surprisingly dressed casual despite what I’m seeing above me. He’s wearing a white tank top and black lounge pants. He’s holding a riding crop and slowly stroking it. “I’m glad you’re able to come.”

  My voice is gone. I can’t speak. Are those women okay? Are they in pain? Shoot, I don’t have a knife with me to cut them down if I have to. What in the hell is going on here? What did Ian bring me to?

  Meanwhile, Nick’s eyes are piercing through my body. He’s not smiling, nor is he stiff. His stance is very relaxed and dare I say, he’s comfortable where he is. But it’s very clear what the expression across is face is saying to me:

  Little girl, do not waste my time with your bullshit.

  “Don’t be alarmed, Domi,” Nick reads my emotions, “they’re not in pain nor are they in danger.” With the riding crop, he points to one woman and caresses her body with it. “tesero is my wife, Zerrin.” He repeats the same motion to the other lady. “piccina is my longtime submissive, Whitney.”

  Wait a minute….Saint Nick has two submissives? And Zerrin’s okay with sharing her man?

  “tesero is the only one I sleep with, in case you’re wondering.” Nick clarifies. Was this man a clairvoyant or something? “piccina is the one I get to do the things I can’t with tesero.”

  My mind naturally asks, ‘Such as?’ but it occurred to me it truly isn’t my damn business.

  Saint Nick walks closer to me and I step back into the brick wall of Ian. My stomach is tightly clenched and there’s a small thunderstorm brewing inside. I’m trapped and my feet…my feet are cinder blocks. I’m legit terrified and Saint Nick isn’t looking so heavenly right now.

  I’m staring dead at the goddamn devil and I’m going to hell with gasoline draws on. Fuck it, we all gotta go out one way or another. At least it’ll be warm where I’m going.

  Nick doesn’t say a word to me. Instead, He holds out his hand for me to grab. I look back at Ian, who simply nods, and Nick leads me to the middle of the foyer. I’m standing underneath and between both women.

  I want to run, but I also want to see what happens.

  Then the weirdest feeling occurs. My arousal is almost at its peak. My breathing becomes sporadic and my skin is hot to the touch. This is actually turning me on.

  Nick does a soft motion with His hands, suggesting I walk around and examine the ladies. I don’t hesitate and start walking around. I walk over to Zerrin, and notice her eyes are closed while her breathing is surprisingly steady.

  She’s…relaxed?

  I study her face and she’s at peace, almost in a meditative state. I look back at Saint Nick and He nods, giving me permission to touch her. I delicately touch the soft Japanese silk rope and in awe of it all.

  I slowly walk over to Whitney and she’s grinning like a child. Her eyes are closed and her chest slowly rises up and down in a steady motion. She’s also in a peaceful state and dare I say, I’m feeling pretty jealous.

  I walk between the women as Saint Nick approaches me with a blue rope. I swallow once. Twice. It’s now or never. I either dive head first into the abyss or I’ll never know how it could’ve been.

  I quickly nod and I feel Ian pull my arms behind me as Nick rips off my clothing. He produces a knife and holds it to my eye level. Is He about to brand me? What’s going on?

  I’m speechless but my head slowly nods. Yes, Master…yes, Saint Nick….I’m willing to do whatever You both ask me to.

  Nick takes the knife and quickly slashes away at my bra and underwear. I’m standing before Him naked but there’s no expression on His face. I can’t tell if He’s pleased or disgusted.

  Just when I was about to feel ashamed of my body, Nick quickly binds me, interlacing the rope in numerous places all over my body. He moves all cat-like, stalking me and listening to my body’s reaction before I say one word.

  When Nick is done – and I believe He might have set a world-record for fastest bondage – He walks past a full-length mirror, snaps his fingers, and points to it before He walks away. I take His direction as a sign of what He wants me to do next and I walk over to the mirror.

  I’m completely naked. The music is now off and the only sounds are the crackling candles and my Gucci pumps. I can feel my pounding heartbeat and I swallow a few times just to make sure the bile doesn’t make a grand appearance.

  I stand in front of the mirror and I’m in awe. The rope is crisscrossed all over my body in intricate designs. It’s between my legs, around my breasts, and circling my ass. My arms are tied behind my back but I’m not in pain.

  I feel so…so beautiful.

  As I looked at myself, Whitney and Zerrin join me. Ian took them down from the suspension and they’re flanked on both sides of me. The women are gorgeous. Zerrin is a thick dark-skinned sista with long braids tied up in a bun. Whitney is also dark-skinned, but she’s small, almost waif-like, with a bald head.

  “It’ll be an intense couple of days.” Nick warns me. He stands behind me and both women immediately turn to Him. Zerrin nuzzles against Him while Whitney rests her head on His chest. It’s daunting to see how both women know their roles in His life and they’re not only respectful of it, but also of each other.

  “I’m sure Master Ian has taken great liberty in teaching you the basics. I’m here to make sure you stick with them.” He walks around Whitney and caresses her body with His hand this time. “Whitney is also going to talk to you about how being a submissive will make you a better pole dancer since you are one and so is she.”

  The nervousness and worry dissipated as my spine straightened out and my feet are firmly planted on the ground. Now Saint Nick has my attention.

  Saint Nick walks around Zerrin and for the first time, I see the love He has for her. It’s a different energy than it is with Whitney. “Zerrin will teach you other things about how to serve your Master and the psychology of BDSM, despite what the media and mainstream has brainwashed you.”

  Saint Nick is right; it does sound hella intense. I can only wonder if I’m truly ready for all of this? My stomach clenches in both excitement and nervousness. Hell, if Anastasia Steele could handle Christian Grey, I can handle Saint Nick and Master Ian, right?

  “And Master Scott might also join Us,” Nick casually mentions, like it’s nothing.

  Okay, I can handle Master Ian. I might be able to handle Saint Nick. Now, I have to worry about Master Scott?

  Ohfuckohfuckohfuckohfuck.

  Book III – Giving Me Life

  One

  “You have questions,” Zerrin begins as she makes us English tea, “I hope I have answers.”

  Ian and I stayed with Nick and Zerrin last night. Whitney went home to her apartment after she was done with her tasks. We stayed up until the wee hours talking about politics, pop culture, and music.

  Nick and Zerrin didn’t come off as pretentious hipsters who thought they knew better than everyone. In fact, they were really down-to-earth. They got on like an old married couple. They teased and joked with each other. They finished each other’s sentences.

  And that love they had….I don’t think I’ve ever seen anything like it. It was like they both worshipped the ground the other walked on. They remind me a lot of…us.

  When I finally got to meet their baby boy, Pietro, I saw firsthand how devoted they were to him. Pietro was the perfect combination of the couple – he had Nick’s light eyes and Zerrin’s full lips. He’s going to be a heartbreaker when he gets older.

  Today, Zerrin and I will have some private one-on-one time before I’ll meet with Nick later tonight. I plan to meet with Whitney tomorrow. “I have a ton of questions,” I begin, “how did you know you wanted to go into BDSM?”

  “Well,” Zerrin sets out a vari
ety of appetizers for us to nosh on. “I’ve always been a bit kinkier than my previous partners. I’ve always wanted to explore and try new things. One night when I was trying to masturbate, I looked up some porn and ran across BDSM. I was hooked. I wanted to try more, explore more, do more.” She sets out plates. “Nick made this for us to enjoy.”

  I look down at the table and see a wide range of Italian treats of cheese, salami, and olives. There are two bottles of wine and if I wasn’t in the mood to drink, there was club soda with lime. No wonder He’s called Saint Nick.

  “What have you done so far in your BDSM journey?” Zerrin asks me.

  “Well,” I clear my throat, “I’ve done bondage, which I really love. Um, orgasm denial which I kinda love and kinda hate. And I’ve done sensory deprivation.” I try to remember the basics of it. “That’s about it.”

  “Did Master Ian go over hard limits and soft limits?” She asks.

  I quickly nod. “He gave me a list of things to see if I would be interested in and a contract to sign once we’re done here.”

  “It’s not legal and binding. It’s just something you both are aware of as you participate with more play sessions.” Zerrin slowly chews on an olive. “Don’t be alarmed by it.”

  “Did you have a contract with Saint Nick?” I ask and she nods.

  “We did before but once we became serious, that contract went away. There was no need for it anymore. Nick knows where we are and where we stand in our relationship. We’ve had our ups and downs and we briefly separated for a while, but I don’t think divorce was ever an option.”

  The news surprises me. They seemed like a couple who would never leave each other. “I didn’t know that. I’m so sorry for the intrusion.”

  “No, we’re open about it now. We had to work through our issues. We went to therapy and we’re more communicative with each other.” She reveals a warm smile. “Plus, having Whitney around helps.”

  And there’s that elephant in the room… “Regarding Whitney…?”

  “I know how it looks,” Zerrin nods, “she’s not Nick’s girlfriend nor is she our girlfriend. She’s His submissive. She allows Him to do things I just don’t want to do.”

  “May I ask what?”

  Zerrin briefly looks up and contemplates how badly she wants to scare the shit out of me, I just know it. “She likes it when Nick is rough with her.”

  “Rough?” I reply. “Like choking?”

  “More than that.” Zerrin calmly replies and she’s okay with that shit? “I’ve tried it once and realized it wasn’t my thing, but I encouraged Him to continue it with Whitney if that’s the release He needs.”

  “And they don’t…?”

  “Nick is respectful to our vows and so is Whitney,” Zerrin adds, “she is seeing someone.”

  It’s not a threesome; it’s a foursome. I think I’m more confused than ever. “Oh wow.”

  “Don’t worry if you don’t understand it,” she replies, “it’s not for you or anyone else to understand.”

  She’s damn right about that.

  “Let’s talk about whatever sexual issues you may have,” she begins, “are you okay with everything in bedroom so far with Ian?”

  “I’m more than okay. It’s been wonderful. He’s been very gentle with me and completely respectful. I need to learn how to deep throat but I’m daunted by Ian’s size,” I begin, “each time I try to go deeper, I end up gagging.”

  “You need to learn how to relax. Practice sticking things in the back of your throat until your gag reflex relaxes. It’ll take some work but it’ll help you in the long run. Use your fingers, then other objects. Don’t worry you won’t choke.” Zerrin’s voice was smooth as melted butter on a warm biscuit, “it’s not a race to the finish. It’s like eating a lollipop when you were little. You didn’t rush to finish it. You wanted to enjoy it as much as you could, right?”

  She’s right. The difference is, however, I only dealt with Tootsie Pops. I never had to deal with one the size of a cucumber. “I guess I need to watch more porn and get an idea.”

  “Porn helps,” Zerrin nods, “but I think watching another couple will also help you.” She softly blinks at me.

  Is she…? Am I going to…? Oh shit… “Huh?”

  “I need to ask Sir if it’s okay with Him, but I don’t see why He would turn down a teaching moment.” She softly smiles. “Would you and Ian be okay watching us?”

  My mouth felt cottony and I swallowed a few times. Zerrin is the epitome of God Herself with her long braids, dark skin, and thick but toned body. Nick, with his Mediterranean devilish looks and muscular frame, would make any woman drop to her knees.

  And I get to watch them fuck? Oh hell yeah! “I wouldn’t mind. I doubt Ian would, either.” I quietly reply though I’m totally marking the hell out inside.

  “It’ll be intense,” she quietly poured the tea, “you might have to watch us a few times to get the idea of what it’s like being a submissive to a Dom. It’s nothing like you’ve read in the books and seen in the movies. There’s a lot of power exchange that has nothing to do with sex. In fact, sex is a very small part of it.”

  It sounds intriguing, I’ll silently admit. It still sounds very daunting. “I get the feeling this wouldn’t be the first time Ian has participated in BDSM like this.”

  Zerrin softly chuckles and places petit fours on small plates for us. “What has Ian told you about his past?”

  I slightly shrug. “The generic. Many partners, threesomes, he’s dabbled in BDSM.”

  Zerrin’s eyes sparkle with intrigue. “Dabbled, huh?”

  My eyebrows rise. Oh? “He lied about his BDSM involvement?”

  “This is probably not my place to say but I’m willing to take the punishment because I’m looking out for your best interest,” Zerrin hands me the plate of treats, “Ian’s considered one of the best Doms in the world, Dominique. If you want to get technical with it, he’ll be considered within the top five.”

  If I wasn’t sitting down, I would’ve fell off any seat. The top five? Oh Em Gee.

  It explains why Ian didn’t tell go into great detail about his sexual history. He probably didn’t want to scare me. To be honest, I might have been a bit intimidated but I think I would’ve gladly gone along for his hard and thick ride. When I am not horny?

  So much I want to ask. So much I want to explore! I loved it when Ian tied my hands behind my back as he fucked me from behind. I loved it when he slapped my ass. I love he wants to teach me more things about my body.

  I want him to pull my hair (for real, this time), lightly choke me, tie me up, spank me until my ass is nice and pink, and force-feed me his cock until I gag. I want him to take me to the brink of an orgasm, only to deny me of it because I need to be taught a lesson. I want to watch more couples. I want other couples to watch us.

  Okay, I think I need to change my name from Domi to Horny because apparently, this is a new me.

  As all of this is running through my mind, I politely take a bite of one of the petit fours and softly chew it as the chocolate cream melts in my mouth. “Oh, I see.”

  Two

  “Did you and Zerrin have a productive meeting?”

  I was standing on the balcony of Nick’s massive apartment when Ian approached me. We all went out to dinner and saw Hamilton. To my surprise, Whitney and her boyfriend (I think?), joined us.

  Afterward, we returned to Nick’s apartment while Whitney’s boyfriend went home for the night. From the interaction I gathered with them, they also have a Dom/sub relationship and He seemed very comfortable with her being in Nick’s presence. I only wonder if Whitney’s Dom was protégé of Nick as well.

  I was lost in my thoughts, viewing the New York skyline when I heard Nick’s voice from behind. I quickly turned towards him and became lost within him.

  He was a tall and muscular man, standing over six feet tall with a size that rivaled a quarterback’s. He took off his business attire from earlier and changed into
lounge pants and a black tank top. He wore a silk robe over his clothing with the same Gucci loafers Ian has at his home.

  Something about a man with expensive taste but he know what he can afford is appealing to me.

  “There’s nothing quite like New York during Christmastime.” It’s the first time I notice his New York accent and it’s rather charming on him. His baritone rumbles through the words York is softly pronounced as yawk.

  Nick stands besides me and looks out into the same skyline he’s probably seen a million times already. We both know he’s not here to talk to me about the spectacular view. He’s here to talk to me about what I want to do with BDSM and if it’s really for me.

  Honestly, I’m not sure yet. It seems Nick and Zerrin are fully immersed into the Lifestyle, and I don’t think that’s something I can handle right now. But I wouldn’t mind Ian do something now and again to spice things up between us. It’s already having a huge impact on me and I feel more confident than ever.

  “Have you lived here all your life?” I ask.

  Nick nods. “Born and raised in Staten Island, the oldest of five. We were all born relatively close together. My brothers, Kieran and Joey, don’t live that far from here. I can actually walk to their homes. Our mother also doesn’t live too far, neither. Only our brothers, Eli, and youngest, Tony, live in different parts. Tony lives in the family home that he renovated. Eli lives in Harlem. Kieran used to live in L.A., but he and his wife moved here a year ago to be closer to everyone and raise our kids together.”

  “How many children does everyone have?” I ask.

  “K and Tiana have two, but she’s pregnant with number three. Joey’s girlfriend is pregnant with twins. Eli has two, and Tony has none.” He takes a sip of the whiskey he’s nursing. “And then there’s Pietro.”

  “He’s beautiful, by the way,” I compliment and a proud smile grows on Nick’s face. He’s obsessed with his son, I can tell. “Do you want any more?”