by Annie Green
This seemed to appease her because she walked over to the small kiosk and began picking up some unused sugar packets and placed them back in their proper place.
Caden merely shrugged and turned toward us. “Sorry guys. Forgot my iPad. Need that like I need air,” he said as he brushed past us and made his way into the backroom. Tempie glanced at me, her big green eyes assessing me. I had acted like a total dick back there and I could tell she was starting to feel insecure about it. I wanted to reassure her, but I could see Carly eyeing the two of us. I felt like she could sense something was off between the two of us. I shoved my hands through my hair, feeling like a total sinner.
Caden reappeared, waving his iPad. “I’m really glad you guys were here. How long are you supposed to stay?”
“Until Peter tells us we can go home,” I said, following Caden and Carly to the door.
“Well, good luck. Carly and I are off to her dance rehearsal.”
Temperance bent down once more and wished Carly good luck. I could tell the girl was smitten with her. I wished I were less awkward with kids. I didn’t have the natural ability to meet them on their level like Temperance obviously did.
Before Caden stepped outside, he turned toward Temperance and asked, “See you tomorrow?”
She nodded with a grin and my stomach churned. “I can’t wait.”
I forced a smile on my face so I didn’t scare Carly as she followed Caden outside, but once they were gone, I turned toward Temperance and all cordiality was gone.
“What are you doing tomorrow with Caden?” I couldn’t hide the trace of anger in my voice.
She arched her eyebrow at me and shook her head. “How’s it any of your business?”
“Because you were just on your knees back there. I think it warrants me knowing if you’re going out with another guy,” I nearly yelled and she winced.
I felt like a jerk, but there was no stopping me. I was livid and jealous and a whole slew of emotions that had gotten me into this mess in the first place. If only I didn’t feel so deeply about her. If only I could not care. But I did and it was messing with my mind.
“Look, what happened back there wasn’t something I normally do. In fact, I never do that kind of thing. So if you think I’m going to go out with Caden and do…do that to him then you really don’t know me at all.”
I rubbed my hand across my face and met her gaze. Her trembling voice caused me to come crashing back to earth. I was totally losing my mind and behaving like a misogynist pig. I was turning into my father. “I’m sorry. Shit.”
“You should be,” she said. She looked hurt and pissed and when she asked if she could leave, it took everything within me not to demand she stay and talk about what had happened. To be honest, I didn’t know what to say. Nothing made sense and I was pretty sure if I opened my mouth I’d just end up stammering like a fool.
So I texted Peter and he told us to close up and go home. We managed to do it with relatively no conversation, making the entire thirty minutes the longest of my life.
When we were finally done, I made sure she was in her car and on the road before I started up my truck. I let it idle for a few minutes while I collected myself, which didn’t do much good. I just kept replaying what had happened back there. Her on her knees. Her mouth around my cock. The feeling of her tongue sliding against my skin. By the time I had backed out of the parking lot, I was ready to go home, push her up against the wall and fuck her. Reservations and old promises be damned. In fact, I was starting to justify all of it. If I had Temperance in a purely sexual way, it wouldn’t be breaking my promise. My promise was to never be with someone and by that I meant a relationship. Not sex. Sex I could do. I could totally do sex without a relationship.
I was ready to tell her this and beg for forgiveness when I pulled up into the driveway, but her car wasn’t there. I suddenly began to worry. Had she been in an accident? Was she okay?
I strode into the house and paced for nearly an hour until I finally texted Peter for her phone number. It seemed like I was stalking her, but in actuality I was just really worried. I had already lost someone. I wasn’t about to lose another.
So I pulled out my phone and shot her a text.
Hey. It’s Damien. You okay?
When she didn’t respond right away, I nearly went into a panic, but before I could call in the cavalry my phone buzzed. I glanced down and saw her name flash across the screen.
Yes. I’m fine. How’d you get my number?
Peter. When will you be home? We need to talk.
I’m not coming home tonight. I’m staying at my brothers.
Why?
Just wanted to think. We don’t need to talk.
I sank onto the couch in the family room and stared at her message. Conflicting emotions crowded my already busy mind. I liked her brother and was glad she was safe, but I also had a feeling Nik was staying there and I didn’t want her anywhere near him. Especially if she was wearing her usual oversized t-shirt to bed. It was much too revealing and I wanted to be the only guy who saw her long legs in it.
I wasn’t okay with her not wanting to talk. Most guys would have been okay with that. In fact, it was most guys’ dream come true, but I wasn’t one of those guys. I wanted to sort things out. I had to work with her and live with her. I didn’t want things to become awkward. So I texted her again.
I know you don’t want to talk, but I do. Come home.
She didn’t respond, which irked me. Who was this girl? What was she playing at?
These questions haunted me and I ended up sleeping on the couch downstairs, barely waking up in time to get ready for the rugby game. I didn’t feel like going, but I got ready nonetheless, throwing on my uniform, grabbing my duffel bag and jumping in my truck. I made it to the park with twenty minutes to spare.
I had been playing intramural rugby with my friends since last year. It had been a great way for me to get rid of all the angst that had been building up within me. Most of the guys on this team had joined because they liked beating the shit out of each other. Whatever worked, I guess. It helped keep most of us sane.
“Thought you weren’t going to make it,” Jonathan said, his eyes narrowing at my disheveled appearance as I strode across the still wet field. Even though he said he wanted me to move on, I still felt guilty as hell. Even though all the justification I’d been doing had minimized it just a little bit.
“Glad you’re here,” Caden said with a genuine smile.
“I bet money you weren’t going to come,” Finn, another team member said, his eyes watching me as I approached.
“Why?” I asked.
“Well, Caden was saying you looked pretty busy the other day at work,” Finn said with a smirk.
The way he said “busy” had me shooting Caden a glance. Apparently Temperance and I hadn’t been as discreet as we’d thought. Caden merely shrugged, a slight trace of guilt sliding across his face. I chanced a glance at Jonathan. His lips were twitching, trying not to laugh.
I ran my hands through my hair. “Thanks for talking shit, guys. It’s always nice to know you’ve got my back.”
“So it’s true then?” Finn asked, his eyebrows rising. “Who’s the chick? Do I know her?”
“She works with him,” Jonathan offered up when no one replied. “And lives with her.”
“Shut up, man,” I said.
“So is that why you look like shit today? Were you up all night fucking her?” Finn asked and I punched him in the shoulder. I didn’t care if he was on my team. I was two seconds away from tackling him.
“No,” Jonathan said, reading me like a book. “There’s no way. He wouldn’t be in such a shit mood if he had.”
“Look, is this ‘fuck around with Damien day’ or are we going to discuss the game?”
Everyone just stared at me. They all knew what happened and the struggles I’d gone through the past year. Even though they talked shit, I knew most of them were actually pretty concerned about me. I k
new they all wanted to see me move on, but it was so damn hard, especially when you were scared and felt guilty all the time.
Thankfully Kyle, my tattoo artist, took that opportunity to show up. He strode through the field, all big arms and crazy tattoos and clapped me on my back, careful to avoid the sensitive skin he had marked.
“Why you late?” Finn asked him and he merely smiled. “You get pussy last night too?”
“I didn’t get pussy, shit,” I mumbled. I still couldn’t believe Finn was such a pig when he grew up with five sisters and a single mom. You’d think he’d respect the female sex a little more.
“Told you,” Jonathan said triumphantly.
Kyle didn’t quite seem to understand what was going on so he just replied, “Nope, although I hope to rectify that soon. Saw a cute girl in the parking lot. Thought I should introduce myself.”
I sighed, thankful all eyes were off me as the other guys clambered to get info on who she was until he pointed toward the stands. It was Temperance. Why was she here? Who cared? She looked so damn good with those tight jeans that showed off those long, long legs. She still hadn’t responded to my text and she hadn’t looked my way yet. In either case, just seeing her made my heartbeat speed up.
“That one?” I asked, hoping that Kyle would deny it. Temperance wasn’t really his type. She looked way too nice and innocent for him. If he only knew what she could do with that mouth, he’d be all over her.
“No. Her friend,” he said and just on cue Maggie bounded toward Temperance. “I think the other girl was with a guy…”
At that moment, I saw Nik walk around the corner and my blood nearly boiled. I watched as he slung his arm around Temperance’s shoulder and smiled down at her. Fucker.
“Who’s that?” Caden asked, his eyes moving toward Nik.
“That’s Nik. Her brother’s friend,” I replied, as casually as I could.
“Who cares about the guy,” Finn chimed in. “Who’s the hot girl with those legs?”
“That’s Damien’s girl,” Jonathan volunteered and I rolled my eyes to the sky. Holy hell. Was everyone against me today or what?
“Shit, man. No wonder you’re in a foul mood. I would be too if I didn’t get any last night from her. I bet those legs wrap around nice and tight…”
I glowered at Finn, my fists clenched at my sides. I needed to change the subject before I punched him in the mouth.
“Who invited them?” I asked. I glanced over at Temperance, flinching when I saw her lean into Nik’s side.
“I did,” Caden replied and received a hefty slap on the back from Kyle.
“Good job, bro. Glad you thought of it,” Kyle said with a wicked gleam in his eye. “The things I want to do to that girl.”
“You better not fuck around with Maggie,” Caden said. “She’s good people.”
“I’m not going to fuck around with her. I’m going to fuck her,” Kyle replied and for a moment I was disgusted with my friend. I was a hypocrite, however because I was constantly thinking about fucking Temperance. Kyle just said what he thought. I merely kept it to myself.
Caden frowned deeply at Kyle’s comment and I wondered where that was coming from. I didn’t even know he knew Maggie, but it seemed like he liked her. Suddenly it all came crashing back to me. Caden had invited Temperance because he’d hoped she’d invite Maggie. I sighed a breath of relief. At least I wouldn’t be competing with Caden for Temperance. I couldn’t compete with someone as nice as him.
Jonathan glanced over his shoulder at our other teammates. “I think we better get ready to play. We done talking about girls?”
Finn shook his head like the dick he was, but everyone else nodded. I looked over at the other team we were playing today. My adrenaline started pumping just thinking about the physical contact I was about to engage in. It would at least take my mind off of Temperance for a few short hours.
Chapter Six
Temperance
“I didn’t know Damien played rugby,” Maggie said as she jogged across the field toward me. My eyes shot over to the huddle of players and I stopped in my tracks. I recognized Caden and Jonathan immediately. Damien was facing away from me, but I recognized that muscular back and that neck. Oh, that neck.
“I didn’t know either,” I replied, my heart stuttering. “I came because Caden invited me.”
Maggie stopped, her blue eyes watching me intently. “What’s going on? What happened?”
I shrugged my shoulders, unable to hide anything from my best friend. “Nothing.”
“You’re such a terrible liar. What happened?” She leaned forward, those blue eyes examining me. “Did you do it with him?”
I shook my head and was about to tell her that I had actually done something a lot bolder, but Nik walked around the corner. His long legs eating up the sidewalk as he approached us. He had to take a phone call in the parking lot, so Maggie and I had given him his space.
“I’ve never been to a rugby game before,” he said, wrapping his arm around me and leading us toward the bleachers.
I leaned into his familiar frame, thankful that I’d have a moment to collect my thoughts before having to explain myself to Maggie. I still couldn’t believe I’d done what I’d done. It was so bold, so unlike me. But I was finding out that when I was around Damien I ended up being someone I never thought I’d be. It was the person I had only ever dreamed about becoming.
“Me either, but I work with a couple of the guys on the team,” I explained, causing Nik to glance across the field.
“Oh yeah…Damien right?”
I nodded. At that moment, Damien glanced over, his eyes clouding with something I couldn’t define. I gulped, redirecting my gaze. “And Caden. The guy with the blonde hair.”
“The angelic one,” Maggie added, her mouth turned down in a slight frown.
“Angelic?” Nik asked.
“It’s not a good thing. Maggie only likes guys who look like they’ve come straight from prison.”
“I do. I like the bad boys. Guys who look like Caden bore me,” she replied with a smile.
“Caden’s a nice guy,” I said defensively.
“I know,” Maggie replied. “He’s just not for me. I prefer guys like... what was his name again?”
“Kyle,” I offered and Maggie nodded.
Her comments made me sad. For some reason, Maggie either didn’t think she deserved a nice guy or maybe she really didn’t want one. In any case, the guys she normally went for were terrible people and I hadn’t liked any of them. Not that they lasted long. The longest relationship she’d had lasted two weeks. She claimed it was to save herself from the hassle of a relationship, that she grew tired of guys after a few weeks, but I had a feeling it had something to do with not wanting her heart broken.
Even so, I envied her free spirit. I had spent my entire life controlled by people and trying to live up to impossible expectations. After becoming friends with Maggie, I learned I needed to live for me and to do what I wanted. Slowly but surely I had started to reclaim my life, which was why I had ended up on my knees in front of Damien last night.
It had been the single most satisfying moment in my life. Taunting him with subtle innuendos like Maggie had suggested, had proven to me that he wanted me as much I wanted him. And when the power went out at work, I knew I had to take advantage of the opportunity. Watching him come undone like that, knowing I had done that to him, made me feel powerful. And I liked it. I liked it a lot. What I hadn’t liked was his insinuation that I did that with every guy I knew. His comment had snuffed out the afterglow, and any hope I’d had of continuing something with him died the moment I left work.
And now seeing him out there on the field, his dark eyes watching me as I walked side by side with Nik to the bleachers, made me feel guilty for showing up with another guy. It was ridiculous because it was Nik, my friend. It wasn’t like we were even remotely together. But I couldn’t help the feeling that surged through me.
I hadn’
t returned his text last night, the one that demanded I come home and talk about what happened. I hadn’t felt ready to discuss it. Looking back, I probably should have responded. I had behaved childishly and if I were Damien I’d be pissed too.
“That guy looked like a monster. What’s with you girls?” Nik asked, interrupting my train of thought. “First your roommate, Damien and now this guy Kyle. What’s left for nice guys like Caden and me?”
“You don’t stand a chance,” Maggie said with a smile. “You’re just going to have to stop looking so pretty.”
Nik rubbed a hand over his face. “It’s not my fault I look like this. I blame my mom.”
“I think you look fine,” I interrupted. “You’re perfect just the way you are.”
“Maybe a piercing or tattoo would be nice,” Maggie said reaching up and brushing her hand through his hair. “Maybe a little less perfection too.”
Nik grimaced before brushing his hair back in place. He glanced at the two teams taking their places on the field. “So this is similar to football right?”
“Yeah, but without the pads and protection,” I replied.
Maggie leaned back and bit her bottom lip. “I hope they take their shirts off. The guys out there look pretty ripped.”
“Oh my God, Mags. Seriously. Keep it in your pants for one day.”
“How can I when all that testosterone is just within reach…”
I rolled my eyes as Nik laughed out loud. Damien seemed to have heard because his head turned to stare at me. I peeked over at him, but couldn’t stand the heat in his gaze. It was searing me from the inside out.
Suddenly Nik’s phone rang. He glanced down at the screen and his smile died. He seemed to be struggling with whether of not he should answer it.
“Go ahead. We’ll still be here when you get back,” I told him and he nodded, a small flash of pain searing his gaze. He stood up and walked down the bleachers, leaving Maggie and me alone.
She didn’t waste a moment.
Leaning forward she asked, “So what happened? Tell me everything.”
I glanced behind me to make sure Nik was out of hearing range before turning toward Maggie and saying, “I went down on him at work.”