Never Enough: A New Adult Romance

by Annie Green

  “Alright. Enough,” I interjected. The commentary was getting on my nerves and I really just wanted to get Temperance alone.

  If we only had a moment, then I wanted her now.

  Chapter Fourteen

  Temperance

  I woke up, a heavy ache between my legs. This was happening more frequently now that Damien and I had been having sex. It was almost as if I couldn’t get enough of him, as if I knew that this was going to be over soon and I had to get my fill before the end.

  I was insatiable. Maggie called it being repressed for so long. I just called it Damien. He was way too addicting and after tonight, I think I was a little bit in love with him.

  Just hearing those beautiful words that Damien had written caused my heart to swell enormously. They were beautiful lyrics of love and loss and hope. How I never saw the artistic side of Damien before was amazing. And it was detrimental. How was I ever going to go my separate way when I felt like this?

  Shit, shit, shit.

  It had all been fun and games before I realized he felt deeply, cared deeply and was amazing in bed. Who was I kidding? I wasn’t just a little in love with him. I was a whole lot in love with him. And I did my best to hide it. I doubted he’d even caught on, which I was grateful for. I didn’t need this to end prematurely because I scared him off by being too emotional.

  I just needed to remember this was just sex for him. Nothing more. If I kept my expectations realistic then I’d be less disappointed when it was all over.

  Damien pressed up against me, his hard cock brushing against my lower back. The ache between my legs intensified and I realized that even though we’d just had sex a few hours ago, I needed him again.

  Once we had arrived home, Damien wasted no time in carrying me upstairs and taking me on his bed. I was glad Deidre was gone because I was way too loud. I was pretty sure our neighbors were going to start complaining if I kept that up. Then afterward he pulled me into his chest and fell asleep. I snuggled into him, loving how he smelled, loving how warm he was. Everything about him lulled me to sleep.

  And now I was so turned on I could barely breathe. I couldn’t wait. I needed him desperately.

  Turning onto my side, I brushed my hand across his taut stomach. I could feel him tremble in his sleep at my touch and I loved the power I held over him. Even if that power was only found when we were having sex. I wondered for just a moment how amazing the sex would be if he loved me back before pushing the thought away.

  My fingers wrapped around his hardening cock and I stroked him until he groaned in his sleep. I loved waking him up like this. The surprise and eagerness in his eyes made it totally worth it. So I pushed myself up, just as his eyes started to open and positioned myself over him.

  “Hi,” I said softly, as I sank onto him. I watched his eyes darken as his hands flexed on my hips.

  “You’re going to kill me, Tempie,” he said, my nickname rolling off his lips. He’d never called me that I loved hearing it coming from his mouth. It made me fall in love a little more.

  “That’s my plan,” I replied as I exhaled heavily. Having him inside of me was what I’d been craving since I woke up and now that he his throbbing cock was thrusting inside of me, I started to lose control. I dug my fingernails into his chest and he hissed.

  “Take me harder,” I demanded.

  And he did.

  ***

  “Did I tell you how fucking amazing you were tonight?” Damien asked, his voice brushing softly across my skin. Man oh man. If only he wouldn’t say stuff like that. It just blurred the lines between us. Despite loving the praise, it would only make it harder in the end.

  “No,” I replied. “You didn’t.”

  “That’s because I was too busy thinking about those dirty things you were saying to me earlier. Your mouth is pretty damn amazing,” Damien said, his thumb brushing across my lips. My eyes fluttered closed and my chest constricted.

  “I’m glad you like it,” I managed to say.

  “I do, Tempie,” he breathed, pressing a kiss to my shoulder. I wanted this whole conversation to mean something, but I knew it was just Damien being sentimental after sex. If we were just out and about, I was pretty sure he wouldn’t be as open about his feelings. I wasn’t complaining though. Having only part of him was better than nothing. Or so I kept telling myself.

  “So why don’t you sing your own songs again?” I asked. “Because I’ve heard you singing before and you don’t have a bad voice.”

  “You’ve heard me singing?” He sounded slightly embarrassed and it made me smile.

  “That doesn’t matter…answer my question,” I said playfully, kissing the tips of his fingers, which were still running across my lips.

  “I just don’t sing anymore…I used to but I don’t anymore.”

  “Is it that girl?” I couldn’t help but ask. “Is she the reason you stopped?”

  His fingers froze before moving away from my mouth. “I used to sing to her. She always encouraged me to sing. I just don’t like singing in front of a lot of people. It would take a special person to get me to sing my shit in front of an audience.”

  I appreciated his openness, when so often he was closed off. So I grabbed his hand and brought his fingers to my mouth. I bit down on his thumb playfully, causing his breath to slide across my skin.

  “Thank you for sharing with me, Damien.” I said softly, my tongue flicking out across his skin.

  “If this is what I get for sharing…Jesus,” he breathed. “Remember when your fingers were in my mouth?” Damien asked, his voice low and sensual. My mind immediately flashed to when I had given him a massage and my fingers ended up tangling with his tongue.

  “Yes. How could I forget?”

  He chuckled behind me. “You’re telling me. I think I masturbated thinking about that day a few times. You’re better than porn, Temperance Cole.”

  My name on his lips was like lemonade on a hot day. I turned and slid my leg over his. “Yeah? It was just a massage,” I said, feigning innocence.

  He pulled me into him, our bodies fitting together like puzzle pieces. “Yeah right. You planned that.”

  I glanced up at him. “I didn’t. I really was just trying to be nice.”

  “Then what changed? How did you go from being nice to having your hands all over me?”

  “I liked how you felt…so I explored.”

  His eyes closed slowly. “Shit.” I watched as his chest rose and fell until he finally opened his eyes and asked, “And at the coffee shop when you went down on me…Jesus, just thinking about it is getting me hard again.”

  My stomach fluttered and I suppressed a grin. I loved that I could get to him like that. “What about it?”

  “Was that planned? Or was it spur of the moment?”

  I ran my hand over his taut chest as I replied, “Planned in the sense that I knew I was going to do something to you that day. Were you glad I did?”

  His hand moved up my back to massage the back of my neck. “Hell yeah I am. Anytime you want to do that I’m game.”

  “Maybe I’ll take you up on that offer. I really liked having you in my mouth,” I replied, my eyes meeting his.

  “Shit, Temperance. How can you be so sweet and sexy at the same time? I’m serious. It baffles me.”

  “You think I’m sexy?”

  “Of course I do and so does every other guy out there. Didn’t you see how the guys were looking at you tonight?”

  “Who? Asher and Jude?”

  “Yeah.”

  “I thought it was because I had something on my shirt…”

  He cut me off with another small laugh and my chest ached. I loved being the one to make him smile. “Temperance, they were checking you out.”

  “Oh,” I said, trying to wrap my mind around what he’d just said. Guys had never been particularly interested in me. I was surprised Damien had even made a move on me. If it weren’t for that kiss in his truck, I would have assumed he was indifferent. T
hat kiss had broken all kinds of barriers between us. It had made almost everything possible.

  He tilted my chin up so he could gaze deeply into my eyes. “Do you really not realize that’s what was going on?”

  I shook my head, my fingers tracing the ink on his skin. I still hadn’t been able to read it in its entirety yet. I wanted to ask if he’d sit still so I could see exactly what they said, but I also ignorantly wanted to give him time to suggest it himself. “Guys have never really shown interest in me. I’ve always been the weird girl, the one who spends all her time playing cello and has little time for anything else.”

  “But you weren’t a virgin, so obviously someone was interested in you,” he said and I could tell by how he said it, he regretted the comment immediately.

  “Interest would be a strong word. It was more like an experiment.”

  “An experiment? Christ. He was one lucky bastard, that’s all I can say.”

  “I doubt he thought so. I was pretty ugly back in high school. I’m actually positive you wouldn’t have looked twice at me.”

  His brow furrowed as he regarded me. He was probably one of those cool guys on campus that every girl wanted and every guy envied. I on the other hand was a total nerd. No one noticed me, let alone went out of their way for me.

  “Well, high school is behind us and I noticed you, right?”

  “Only after I got on my knees,” I replied, half jokingly. He didn’t seem to think it was funny.

  “No, that broke my resolve to stay away from you. I’ve wanted you since you first walked out of our bathroom with just that skimpy towel on. It was then that I was able to see what amazing legs you had.” His hand that had previously been resting on the bed moved and swept over my thigh. “I’m glad you wear clothes that show off your amazing body, even if my friends do drool all over you.”

  I hit him playfully. “Yeah, sure. Stop being a dick, Damien. Drool? Pfft.”

  He grabbed my hand tightly. “Jesus, Temperance. How can you not see? They were practically undressing you with their eyes.”

  “Really?” I said, still not totally believing him.

  “Yes,” he ground out.

  “Wow, I had no idea,” I replied, my self-esteem rising a notch. “That’s kind of cool actually.”

  Damien didn’t seem to think so. I felt his muscles bunch beneath my hands, as he muttered, “Not cool. Not cool at all. Don’t forget we’re exclusive.”

  The elation I had been feeling suddenly disappeared, replaced by a sinking feeling in my stomach. Why did he always think I was going to go out and screw other guys? Didn’t he know how amazing he was and that I wanted no one else? He obviously didn’t trust me. He seemed more concerned with me screwing other guys than who I was as a person.

  I removed my hand from his chest and pulled away from him. I stared at the ceiling, trying to pull it together. Falling for Damien was probably the stupidest thing I’d ever done, but it was hard to leave when my heart insisted I stay just a little longer. This was so not going to end well.

  I heard the covers rustle next to me and I could feel Damien’s eyes on me. “Shit, what did I say?”

  I forced a smile on my face, despite him not being able to see it. My mom told me that even if it was fake, a smile could make you come across as sounding genuine. “Nothing.”

  “Bullshit, Temperance. What happened? What did I do?”

  I peeked over at him and he looked concerned, so I decided to be honest with him.

  “I’m tired of you thinking I’m going to go sleep with other guys. I wouldn’t do that.”

  He ran a hand over his face. “I didn’t say that…”

  “Yeah, but you implied it. I don’t know who you think I am, but I’m not that kind of girl.”

  “I know. I know you’re not,” he said softly.

  “Did that girl cheat on you or something? Is that why you keep thinking I’m going do that to you?”

  He took a deep breath. “No. She didn’t.”

  “Oh,” I replied, not understanding why he kept thinking I was going to go out on him. So I didn’t say anything else, just continued to stare at the shadows moving across the ceiling. Maybe the reason he felt so possessive of me was because he felt something more for me. Maybe this was more to him than just sex. I felt myself begin to hope.

  His hand slipped into mine and despite hating myself for it, I loved how his hands engulfed mine, how strong he felt with such a simple touch. In that moment, I felt cherished and protected, despite knowing it most likely meant nothing on his end.

  “I’m sorry,” he nearly whispered.

  His apology had my heart sputtering in my chest. I hadn’t expected that.

  “I’m just jealous as hell,” he muttered, causing my breath to come in uneven spurts. What did that mean? Did he want more of me? I just couldn’t help it. I had to know.

  “But this is just sex, right?”

  I said it as casually as possible, hoping he’d tell me no, that it was so much more than that. He didn’t. Instead he squeezed my hand before slipping his fingers from mine.

  “Yeah, just sex.”

  My heart dropped. I knew I had a tendency to always think optimistically, but now my hopes were crushed. This is what it would always be for him. Just sex. Nothing more. I wasn’t sure if I’d be okay with that long term. I was really starting to fall for him, but it was obvious he wasn’t going to go there with me. I just didn’t know what to do, let alone think, so I turned on my side and tried not to cry.

  We lay like that for a few moments, the air in the room suddenly cold with unspoken words. I shivered from the heavy realization that this was how it was going to be, that this is all I’d ever have, when suddenly Damien was pulling the sheets up over me. The bed dipped as he scooted toward me, placing his warm body behind mine.

  With just those two simple gestures, I found hope once again. I could do this for a little longer. I just needed to think about ways to protect myself from the undeniable end that was drawing near with each passing day.

  “You’re cold,” he said so softly behind me, his arm wrapping around my waist. I could feel his breath brushing my neck. I didn’t reply, scared I’d blow it all over again. Scared that I’d tell him I loved him. Instead I slipped my hand over his and closed my eyes.

  I was cold, but not for the reasons he thought. I really needed to start thinking about what I could do to save my heart from being smashed when this all ended. What could I do, so that when it came time to leave I wouldn’t be utterly broken?

  ***

  “You look different,” Caden said, his eyes searching my face as I hung up Maggie’s flyer at work as promised. I diverted my gaze. The truth was, even though Damien had remained near me all night I felt uneasy. The more I learned about Damien the more I fell for him. It wasn’t just sex for me anymore. That girl, whoever she was, the one who’d broken his heart, had smashed any hope I had of having something more with him. He would never want me like that because he was too crushed. She had ruined him for anyone else who loved him. In that moment, I hated her.

  I also hated myself for being so vulnerable, for being so weak. I really needed to either grow a pair and accept this for what it was, or cut my losses and leave. I opted for the former because I wasn’t ready to end it with Damien. He meant too much to me. In order to save myself, I knew I had to distance myself emotionally. I wasn’t quite sure how to go about that and had been racking my mind endlessly in an effort to figure it out.

  “I’m just tired,” I replied. Tonight had been slow, to say the least, giving Caden and I plenty of time to catch up.

  His brows furrowed as he peered at me through his Buddy Holly glasses. If only I’d fallen for Caden, my life would have been much easier. He was probably the nicest, most uncomplicated guy I knew.

  “You sure?” he asked, skeptical of my reply. I hadn’t seen Caden since the rugby game. We rarely worked together. He usually worked the earlier shifts because he wanted to be home for his sis
ter. But a few nights a week, Carly stayed at a friend’s house so Caden could catch a break and act like a normal twenty-one year old guy.

  “Yeah,” I said forcing a smile onto my face. “Just didn’t sleep good last night.”

  Seemingly satisfied with my answer, Caden gestured toward the bulletin board where Maggie’s flyer hung. “So Maggie’s teaching piano now?”

  “I guess.”

  He didn’t say anything for a moment, his forehead furrowing in thought. After a long moment of silence he asked, “She any good?”

  I nodded. “Yeah. She’s really, really good. Why?”

  Caden shrugged, leaning against the counter. I watched the muscles in his jaw flex as he clenched his teeth in thought.

  “She any good with kids?”

  It was my turn to look confused. “Yeah, I guess. Why? You want to take lessons?”

  He shook his head, a lock of his golden brown hair falling in his eyes. He pushed it back casually. “No, Carly has been begging me to take piano lessons for a while now. Just haven’t found anyone for the right price.”

  “Well, Mags is really good. You can’t go wrong with her and I’m pretty sure she’s reasonably priced.”

  Caden pushed himself upright and he glanced down at me. Utter seriousness masked his features. “I know you’re her best friend, but I need to know that if I leave Carly alone with Maggie she won’t do anything…like makeout with those creeps she dates. Carly’s seen enough shit with my mom. I don’t need her exposed to anymore.”

  My eyes widened at the venom in his voice. I suddenly remembered how Maggie had reacted after Caden had spoken to her at the pizza parlor. I wondered if it had something to do with her choice in guys.

  I shook my head. “No, she would never do that.”

  He seemed to believe me because he relaxed a little. “Maybe I’ll give her a call then.”

  I continued to watch him, wanting desperately to know what had happened between Maggie and him. Our eyes met and his eyebrows rose.

  “What, Tempie? I can see you wanting to ask me something.”

  I shrugged nonchalantly before asking, “What did you say to her anyway?”