She practiced a smile, but her lips trembled so much it seemed safer–and more natural–to simply glower. With a final mirror check, she grabbed her beaded handbag and headed for the door.
It was time to stop visualizing and start living.
*****
Ding!
The elevator doors slid open and Tess placed a high-heeled foot onto the main floor of Accessorized headquarters. Heart slamming in her chest as she strode carefully down the aisle, hating the occasional wobble of uncertainty in her step. Of course, her feet hadn’t worn heels since college, so who could blame them?
Activity buzzed around her, but she didn’t make eye contact with anyone she passed. Instead she kept her chin high and her gaze impassive, the way she imagined someone like Claudia Kellar would do. Her skin prickled a few times as she felt curious eyes upon her, but she didn’t break the spell by looking back.
The secretary outside of Jack’s office gave her a squinty glance and consulted her appointment book. “Can I help you? Miss…”
“I have an appointment,” Tess assured her, managing to curve her lips into a subtle half-smile. “It’s for four-thirty.”
“Oh…” The woman peered at her closer, adjusting her eye glasses. “Yes, of course. Miss Gellar, I…I didn’t recognize you for a moment there. Please, go right in.”
And so the astonishment continued, just as she dreamed it would. Jack was no less astounded by her transformation than his secretary, judging from the double take he gave her entrance. A rather simpering grin on his face as he reached to shake her hand, knocking over a bronzed paper weight in the process.
“My, that’s quite a dress Miss Gellar. Let me say your fashion credentials are certainly shining through today.”
“Really?” She feigned surprise, with a cursory glance at the dress she’d drawn blood over just a few days before. “It’s something I picked up at a little out-of-the-way shop. Of course, I had to make some alterations to bring it up to snuff.”
“Yes, well, it seems to have worked. Please, have a seat,” he said gesturing to the nearby leather chair. “We have a few issues to discuss, including that raise I mentioned last time.”
The rest of the meeting breezed by, with Jack giving the usual compliments for her stellar sales record. Though he had noticed a little drop in the past week or two. Nothing she couldn’t bounce back from, he knew, especially with some brainstorming at the next PR conference.
“Speaking of which,” he said, flipping his folder closed, “I want you to feel comfortable presenting original ideas to the rest of the board. There’s no reason why you shouldn’t contribute some of your expert knowledge, given your track record in sales and your degree. A chance to spread your wings, so to speak.”
Tess hesitated. "You mean, me–present ideas in public relations?" Her voice came out in a strangled squeak, surprising herself, since this was exactly what she envisioned every time she rehearsed this meeting in her mind.
“I know your last suggestion didn’t work out,” Jack continued, an apologetic edge in his voice. “The, uh, articles targeted for curvaceous readers. But I’m sure you’ve formed some newer, stronger ideas since then, no?
She nodded, barely aware that she controlled the movement. An awkward laugh escaping her lips as she finally summoned some words on the subject. “I–I’m sure I can think of something appropriate for Accessorized. If you really think anyone’s interested, that is.”
“Of course, of course.” He patted her shoulder in a friendly manner, guiding her out the office door to the cubicle area. Where she felt the urge to melt into a puddle of perspiration at the sight of Nikki Decker and Mia Cattrall chatting in the office lounge. The two women turned in her direction at the same moment, their conversation tapering off at the sight of Tess.
“Miss Gellar–it looks as if your research paid off.” Nikki said coolly, appraising the wrap dress through her cat eye glasses. “A chic design, don't you agree, Mia?”
“Very,” the model agreed, offering Tess a polite smile. “Is it retail–or did you get it tailor made? It looks professional,” she added.
“It’s sort of both,” Tess admitted, smoothing her hands over the beaded design. “I bought it off the rack and then added some of my own design.”
“Wonderful,” Nikki purred from behind her paper cup.
“I was just congratulating Tess here on her wonderful PR record,” Jack said, giving her shoulder another reassuring pat. “And I was about to remind her that the big Accessorized anniversary bash is coming up this Saturday night. You will come, won’t you?” he asked, parting his lips in a luminous but pleasant smile.
“Well, I…” She hesitated, remembering the painful moment in the elevator; the knowledge she didn’t fit the magazine’s image well enough to be part of its celebration. Shouldn’t she be insulted by this sudden change in attitude?
Instead of feeling excited, her heart jumping like a girl who was just invited to her first prom. Saturday was only a few days away, but by then, the magic juicer might melt her figure to its most svelte form yet.
Before she could make a decision, Mia laughed and touched her arm with two limp fingers. “Of course she’ll come. Just like she’ll come with Nikki and me right now for a little after-business glass at the Sweet Martini.”
Tess's mouth dropped open slightly, a dizzy sensation invading her head. This was too good to be true. Maybe she had fallen asleep on the sofa again and was merely dreaming all this, her real appointment having come and gone while she snored.
“Yeah, come on, Tess,” Nikki urged, taking her other arm, her nose wrinkling in a smile. “We’ll get you up to speed on Mia's runway progress. That way you’ll know whom to expect at the party this weekend.”
“Sounds charming,” Tess said. Her eyes darting to the wall clock, which informed her it was still an hour and a half before she had to meet Ethan. Surely a quick drink wouldn’t hurt–especially if it offered a chance at proving herself to the fashionistas that routinely snubbed her.
*****
The Sweet Martini, it seemed, was a popular hangout for much of the magazine staff. Tess recognized some of the copy editors, editorial assistants, and floor workers among the faces at the bar. Nikki acknowledged waves from a few of them, but seemed blind to others, including a pair of geeky-looking girls Tess had seen running errands and pushing mail carts among the different cubicles.
Mia, on the other hand, acknowledged no one. Her interest was primarily in herself, checking the mirror in her handbag from time to time.
Still feeling surreal, Tess slid into a corner booth with her two co-workers, and pretended to peruse a menu. When, in fact, she couldn’t afford to cheat with any of the calorie-laden items on the list, especially if there was to be soda and popcorn for the movie. In the end, she ended up going with a standard cocktail, planning to take only minuscule sips as the evening went on.
“So Tess, you seem ... different,” said Nikki, planting her elbows on the table in a casual gesture. “Jack was quite impressed with you today–play your cards right and he’ll make sure your career doesn’t stop with a telephone dial.”
“Listen to Nikki,” Mia chipped in, a coy smile playing round her lips. “I've known Jack for most of my career. He likes a team player. Seeing you become more, well, chic, persuades him that you belong with the rest of the staff. After all, there are certain people who wouldn't be comfortable working in the office, if you know what I mean.”
Tess nodded, aware a deep flush had crept up her cheeks at the memory of herself on that list only a few weeks ago. A frumpy, heavy girl whose future was destined to be a voice, not a physical presence in the company's employee list. Part of this conversation made her uncomfortable, the other part thrilled her beyond imagination.
“What’s your angle, Tess?” Nikki asked, in a somewhat lower tone. “I mean, which staff position do see yourself filling in the future?”
I…I don’t know,” she stammered. Biting her lip a momen
t before speculating, “A fashion editor maybe? At least until I launch my own designs somewhere down the road...”
“How about assistant fashion editor?” Mia suggested. “Nikki will be getting a promotion sometime after the shoot. The opening would be perfect for you.”
“I'll put in a good word to Jack,” said Nikki, taking a sip from her glass. “After all, I’m the one who’s planning to get Little Miss Senior Editor fired for all those inappropriate uses of company funds.”
“One of the photographers told me she used the company account to pay for personal dinning and accommodations,” Mia informed Tess in a side whisper. "She was upset when she didn't get the 'big chance' Jack promised her in this latest shoot."
Tess nodded, trying to look suitably shocked at the thought of a jealous wannabe model getting revenge on her boss. She let her eyes flutter closed for a brief, nerve-calming moment, as the waiter set their drinks down. When she opened them again, the waiter was gone and Sam Bryar, the magazine’s head photographer was in his place. His beret slightly askew as he leaned down to greet Nikki and Mia.
“Good afternoon, ladies,” he said, his breath releasing a strong whiff of alcohol. “And who’s your friend here?” His gaze taking on a leering quality as it slid in Tess’s direction.
“It’s Tess from PR, of course,” Mia supplied, edging away from him slightly. “She’s in the sales and research department, remember?”
“Do I?” he frowned, in a tone that could have been a question as easily as a statement.
“Probably not, but she’ll be at the party this weekend, so you can make her acquaintance then,” said Nikki, shooing him away. “This is a girls-only conversation, so run along.”
Much to Tess’s relief, he obeyed this command, disappearing into a crowded booth at the end of the room. Where a cloud of cigarette smoke and a series of dramatic arm gestures helped to shield him from view.
“Word to the wise,” said Nikki turning back to Tess, “Sam’s more or less a shark and not exactly skilled at romance. Poor fling material, if you know what I mean.”
“I wasn’t–” she broke off, slightly confused as to how serious the other woman meant to be. “I’m sort of involved with someone right now. I have date tonight, actually.”
The two women exchanged surprised glances; Nikki slid closer to Tess. “Is he in fashion?” Nikki asked. “Is he drop dead gorgeous, or just plain rich?”
Tess laughed. “He’s cute and really nice, and he runs a website that reviews all kinds of products. It got featured in a magazine,” she gushed, unable to stop herself. Girl talk about boys–that was something she never experienced before, given the wide gulf between herself and the cute crowd in high school and college.
Her words had a less-than-impressed affect on Mia and Nikki, however; their faces fell as they listened to her description of Ethan.
“At least he’s cute,” Mia managed, with an “oh-well” kind of shrug. “That’s always good for a little fun, right?”
Tess's lips opened to respond, but nothing came out. A sense of pain on Ethan's behalf invaded her thoughts. Her silence allowing the other two to steer the conversation towards the lives of various Accessorized co-workers, including whether or not Claudia Kellar was secretly involved with an A-list movie star.
“I say she started the rumor herself,” said Mia, moving back as the waiter set her third cocktail on the table. “Like anyone cares who her latest toy is.”
“Absolutely,” Nikki agreed, draining the last of her own drink. Then dabbing her mouth with a napkin, her gaze wandering in the direction of the bar. After a moment, she sent Tess a secretive smile. “Don’t look now, but a major hottie has his eye on you. If you keep that pouty profile of yours aimed in that direction, I bet you can count on a complimentary drink to come your way.”
“I really couldn’t accept it,” Tess argued, her voice wobbling around almost as much as the heart inside her chest. “I haven’t finished my first one, and besides I’m going out with Ethan…” her words trailed off with the realization she had no clue what time it was.
"Don't freeze him out," Mia replied. "I mean, not as many guys go for the–well, the curvaceous section of the fashion ads. Give him a chance." She offered Tess a wicked smile.
Could they have been here more than hour? Tess's panic outweighed any invitation to mindless fun offered by the model's smile. The number of Mia’s drinks suggested that she was late as she fumbled through her handbag in search of her phone.
“Relax,” Nikki said, snapping open her cell phone and consulting its tiny screen. “It's only seven thirty-five,” she announced. "You've got hours before the good restaurant tables are open.”
“Nooo,” Tess groaned. Pushing her glass aside, she fumbled to exit the booth. “I’m late, really late. I have to go, right now–”
“Whatever,” Nikki laughed. “Go if you absolutely must. But don’t hurt yourself–he doesn’t sound worth the trouble.” Her statement caused Mia to sputter with laughter, clutching her companion's arm as she swayed forward.
Oh, yes he is. Tess spent the long cab ride back to her apartment cursing her absent-minded behavior. What would Ethan say? Had he waited for her–or gone on to the movies without her? She pictured his muscular shoulders hunched in disappointment, a flicker of doubt in his deep blue eyes.
In her anxiety, she managed to smudge most of her makeup, and flattened part of her hair by raking worried fingers through it. When the cab finally stopped, she crammed more than enough cash in the driver’s hand and told him to keep the change. Rushing through the double doors, she frantically pushed the button to the elevator.
A second later, its doors slid open to reveal Ethan in a jeans and leather jacket combo that leant him an attractively rugged air. His eyes widened at the sight of her, his mouth opening in a slightly stunned effect. “Tess,” he blurted, after a moment of tense staring. “I, uh, I knocked on your door twice–”
“I know,” she said. “I’m so sorry. See, there were these co-workers and they wanted me to have a quick drink with them. But we kept talking on and on, and I completely lost track of time, and I never meant to stand you up–”
“It’s okay,” he said, putting a stop to her babble with a raised hand. “Really, it’s not a problem.”
“But I kept you waiting a whole hour.” She hated the tremor in her voice, her complete lack of model composure. It took all the effort she had to keep the tears from cropping in her eyes. “We’ve missed the movie and it’s all my fault.”
His expression softened under this flood of regret, some of the familiar playfulness returning as he tried to shrug her carelessness off. “Hey, it’s only a movie. And it’s only me, your dorky neighbor. It’s not like you had a date with the guy of your dreams and then blew it.”
Tess’s heart caught at the hurt undertones in his voice. “Ethan, I really did want to see you tonight. What are you doing right now?” she asked, snatching at a meager chance to salvage the disastrous evening. “We could go somewhere, anywhere you want is fine.”
“Oh, sorry.” He shook his head and pulled a package from his coat pocket. “After you …well, after I knew tonight was off, I got a call from a friend who let me test some software he’s developed. He asked if I could bring this backup copy over tonight, since he needs it for a meeting in the morning.”
Forcing the tears back from her eyes, she nodded. "No, I understand. Go, you don't want to be late." She stepped aside, wishing she hadn’t sounded so desperate.
Nikki and Mia would never advertise their feelings for a man so plainly, she knew, having listened to their rambling discourse on relationships back at the bar.
“Maybe we could do something this weekend,” Ethan suggested, hesitantly. “There’s a show opening at that theater on Broadview Street Saturday night. I don’t know if you’re into dinner theater or not–”
“Definitely,” she said. Then cringed as she remembered her previous appointment. “Except there’s a magazin
e party this weekend and I–I mean, the whole staff's supposed be there.”
Not exactly true, but it was the only explanation she could think of for the moment. But no party was worth the skepticism she read in his eyes, making her wish fiercely she could take the words back.
“Another time then.” Ethan offered her a weary smile as he slipped past her. “I better go now. See you around, okay?”
She watched him disappear, longing to rush after him. There must be a way to make him understand the way she felt about him. Right now he seemed to pull away from her presence, happy to make excuses–and accept them– in order to keep distance between them.
With a sigh, she slumped inside the elevator. Hugging her handbag for comfort as the doors slammed shut.
*****
Tess hovered in the stairwell, a basket of laundry cradled in her arms. It was Saturday morning, and all her modified clothing items had been washed and dried hours ago. But she kept making pretend trips to the laundry room and back, in hopes of staging a causal run-in with Ethan in the hallway.
So far, stony silence and a lonely stretch of carpet was all that greeted her. With a sigh, she made the trek to her door for the tenth time, setting down her basket as she fished around for her keys. She groaned as the ring slipped from her fingers and bounced off the rim of the laundry basket, landing somewhere among the pile of clothes. Getting down on all fours, she dug through the fabric, feeling the key ring slip further below.
“Need some help?”
She jumped at the sound of a masculine voice just behind her. Twisting around, she found Ethan looking down at her with his boyish smile, his arms loaded down with a sack of groceries and a newspaper.
“Found it,” she said, holding up the keys with a smile. Then stood to face him, her fingers nervously toying with the key ring’s flexible wrist band. “Been grocery shopping?” An obvious question, but any conversation opener would do to get things rolling.
Food for Love Page 5