by Crow, Baylin
"Rook!" Noah’s groan sounded like it had been fed through a bed of broken glass, and I sucked in a harsh breath
He'd come. With my name on his lips.
My mouth ran dry as I fought the temptation to free my cock and relieve the pressure building in my balls. To get off on my own fantasy of Noah. I’d submitted to that temptation on too many occasions to count. What might have happened if we’d taken that first kiss further?
The shower cut off, and overwhelming panic jolted me into action. I jerked back, wincing when I slammed against the wall. Shit.
Noah couldn’t find out what I’d done. Maybe he hadn’t heard. I could only hope as instinct had me scrambling to grab my shoes and sneaking back into the hall. Even the slight click of the door closing sounded like a gun shot in my head.
Quickly scanning the hall, I was relieved when I found no one had witnessed me standing there with my shoes in my hand, dick hard and breathing like I’d run a marathon. Pressing one hand to the wall, I hung my head as my entire body shook. The loose mesh shorts I wore did nothing to hide my hard-on, and I couldn’t go back inside like that. Steadying my breathing the best I could, I willed my cock to forget—or at least ignore—what I'd walked in on. Focusing on my basketball stats helped.
When I thought I had my shit under control again, I shoved my feet back into my shoes, squared my shoulders and adopted a lazy stride as I reentered our room. I came to a grinding halt when I walked in and found Noah standing by the closet, bent over his luggage, wearing nothing but a white towel tied around his waist.
At the sound of the door, Noah jolted upright, straightening his back. His cheeks were flushed, and I wondered if it had more to do with me than it did the heat of the shower. Maybe both.
"Why am I not surprised you’ve found the fitness center?" His gaze dropped to my sweaty outfit, hopefully missing the outline of my semi that just wouldn’t quit.
Avoiding his eyes, I headed for my own suitcase. "I may have a week off from practice, but Coach would have my ass if he found out I’d sat around the whole time."
"You sound weird. Everything okay? Did you push too hard?"
When I finally glanced at him, finding concern etched in his features, guilt rushed through me. "I'm good. I just need to shower before I get ready."
"Good. You smell." He wrinkled his nose and bent back over, rifling through his clothes.
Any other time, I would have come back with a smart-ass response. But with hints of his toned ass on display through the towel, my tongue was glued to the roof of my mouth. It was going to take a lot more than the freezing snow to cool the fire burning in my veins.
"Mom messaged," he continued, oblivious to my stare. "We meet for breakfast in thirty minutes."
"I'll be quick." I finally tore my gaze away and grabbed a clean pair of jeans, long-sleeved thermal shirt and boxers before locking myself in the bathroom.
Disbelief still spiraled in my thoughts. While it made sense that he'd keep any attraction he felt toward me under wraps, because as far as he knew I'd never had a single dirty thought about him, I couldn’t help but wonder again what would have happened if either of us would have made a move to take things further four years ago when I’d kissed him. If it would have been me sinking inside him for the first time, instead of another man. A rush of jealousy poured into my bloodstream. He should have been mine. All this time.
I turned the water on and stepped beneath the spray, sagging against the tiled wall and rubbed my eyes.
But maybe that's all I would’ve been—best friends with benefits—and that ugly thought settled into my gut like a boulder that made me nauseated. I wasn’t ready to face what I’d felt back then. Hell, I was just now realizing what that kiss had meant. I was so stupid.
Maybe it was for the best he'd never told me. All of these thoughts confirmed what I'd already suspected at times but had repeatedly forced away. I wasn’t straight. I wanted Noah. Bad. But I wasn't sure it was worth it if I was just a body he’d use to get off.
Fuck. Pain ricocheted in my chest, and my cock had softened while I’d considered the possibilities and ramifications of telling Noah the truth. So, I did what I always had. I ignored it.
I rushed through the rest of my shower, scrubbing harder than necessary, needing the rough distraction.
When I came out Noah was dressed and sitting on the bed, scrolling through his phone. He glanced up when he heard me. "Quick my ass."
Sorry, Noah. You've thoroughly fucked with my head. Of course, I didn't say that out loud. "Quit whining. Let's go be miserable and hope we don't fall to our deaths."
“So dramatic.” His lips twitched. "The snow is thick. I’m sure we’d survive the fall."
“I hate you,” I growled, and his deep laugh settled my nerves. We’d be okay. He never needed to know what I’d heard.
* * *
Lies were stacking up, and now I was doing a lot more pretending than just dating Noah. I had to act like my world hadn’t been shaken to the core. If I wasn’t careful, the whole thing would blow up in our faces.
The lobby was full of wedding guests, dressed in snow pants and heavy jackets to battle the cold. Once we’d finished breakfast, Noah and I had changed into our own gear and the bulky material was already driving me crazy.
I swore his mom had a special radar for when Noah and I entered rooms. Decked out in a white puffy ensemble, she headed our way with a bright smile. As she approached, I remembered the part I was supposed to play and reached over to grab Noah’s hand, hooking our fingers together.
He noticeably stiffened at my side, and I grunted a warning. Noah relaxed, but not enough to convince me or anyone else who cared to pay attention that we were the real deal.
“You boys ready?” she asked, studying us and frowning at Noah.
“Super excited,” I replied, earning a reluctant laugh from my best friend slash boyfriend. Fake boyfriend. I repeated the phrase in my head a few more times for good measure.
“Good. We’ll be heading out in just a minute. I need to run upstairs and grab my camera, so I’ll see you guys out there.” She squeezed Noah’s shoulder as she passed by.
The minute I lost sight of her in the crowd, I dragged Noah out into the hall and pushed him into a small alcove, out of sight from anyone who wandered into the corridor.
“What the hell, Rook?” he whisper-shouted as he spun around to face me.
Crossing my arms, I hissed back, “Could you be any less convincing? You stiffened the second I grabbed your hand.”
Noah sighed as the fight drained out of him. “It was just a reaction.”
“One you need to control if you want to pull this off.”
"Suddenly you’re the relationship expert?" he bit out with a scowl.
Voices carried down the hall, so I lowered my voice and dipped closer to his ear. His breathing stuttered, and I fought the reaction it triggered. Was he affected by my closeness? Was I going to question his every move now, trying to find and decipher meaning in everything he said and did?
“That’s not what I said. You need to relax and take a deep breath before you hyperventilate." My lips kicked up on the side. I expected the shove, but I didn’t anticipate losing my balance. Not thinking, I reached out and grabbed onto his thick sleeve. My back slammed against the opposite wall, and the force sent Noah crashing into my chest.
Pressed against each other, our lips were close enough that his breath mingled with mine. I glanced down, staring at his mouth.
Noah licked his lips, and his voice shook. “Rook?”
Want, hot and desperate, drowned the whispered warning telling me to abort before it was too late. Lowering my head, I paused just before our lips touched. “Noah—”
Ice blue eyes locked on mine, he didn’t stop me as I closed the gap. Noah’s lips were perfect, and I nipped the lower one. When he gasped, a spike of need zapped down my spine. I groaned and licked the seam of his lips. On a quiet moan, his mouth parted, and I took the opening,
slipping my tongue inside and brushing his with a leisurely stroke. Noah shook in my arms as his hands gripped my coat. Holding still, he let me explore his mouth. Just as he caved and took control of the kiss, someone cleared their throat.
Breaking the kiss, I jerked my head around, catching sight of Kendra. She grinned, but her cheeks were flushed. “Sorry to interrupt, guys. But your mom's looking for you, Noah. You two are riding with her and James, and they’re ready to go.”
“We’re on our way,” I answered, and she gave a quick nod. When I glanced back at Noah, he was staring at me with a question in his eyes. Clearing my throat, I loosened my grip, and he pulled away. “Noah, I’m sorry…”
I wasn’t sure what I was apologizing for, because I wasn’t sorry for kissing him. A little confused by my lack of hesitation maybe. But after this morning, a kiss seemed fairly innocent in comparison.
He shook his head and averted his eyes to the polished wood floor. “It’s fine. Let’s go so she doesn’t come looking for us herself.”
It’s fine? Things didn’t feel fine. I squeezed my eyes closed as he took off at a quick pace, and I followed behind him. Had I just royally screwed up?
As soon as I stepped outside, I stopped cold when my gaze landed on the gondola lift, holding multiple evenly spaced death traps.
Noah must have sensed the frenzy of nerves that took flight, because he sighed and backtracked to my side. “You going to be okay?”
“Depends. Are you done acting weird?” My brows rose, as I attempted to appear casual about the whole thing. “I’ll make you a deal. You stop acting like life just imploded, and I’ll ride that thing without complaining.”
He bit his lip as he considered me. “It was just a weird moment, right?”
I recalled the conversation we’d had four years ago after I’d kissed him. If that’s what he needed to hear again, then that’s what I’d tell him. “That’s all it was. No big deal, okay?”
Noah hesitated, but finally nodded. “All right then.”
It was him who reached for my hand this time, and I squeezed to the point I was sure I was cutting off his circulation. He let me.
“Stop glaring at the thing. It won’t be that bad.” Noah laughed as we walked through the snow that was several inches thick with a thin crust on top that crunched with each step.
My gaze drifted to the peak of the mountain where Kendra’s family had decided it would be a good idea to build a restaurant only accessible if you rode the lift. The views, I’m told, are worth it. Even without seeing them for myself, I disagreed wholeheartedly. “Oh, it’ll be great. Trusting my life to a mile-long string across a 900-foot valley in the freezing cold…awesome.”
“We don’t have to go, Rook. Everyone will understand,” Noah offered, and because I knew him so well, I was aware he’d back out in a heartbeat. But this was his brother’s wedding.
The cold was already seeping into my bones, so I shivered as I shook my head. “We’re doing this.”
“If you’re sure…”
“I’m sure. But let’s go now before I chicken out.” Or freeze to death.
His lips twitched, and he bumped his shoulder against mine. “I always knew you were a big baby.”
Scoffing, I held back my retort. Powdery snow caked the bottom of my boots and dusted my pants and shoulders as we approached the dark blue gondola, I glanced at Noah. “Honestly, I do hate you a little bit right now.”
“Careful, Oliveira. You’re starting to sound like me.”
Eleven
Noah
After freezing our asses off in the snow the day before, Rook and I had ditched the trip to the ice rink a few miles down the road. Neither of us belonged in a pair of skates when we’d likely spend the majority of the time on our asses.
Instead, after breakfast when everyone had loaded up and taken off, we’d stayed behind. While Rook had worked out, I had caught an indie film on TV. When he’d come back to our room, covered in sweat, he’d showered and then joined me.
Everything was fine. Things were normal between us—or least they should have been. But an uncomfortable quiet had invaded our otherwise secure bubble and had lingered all day. That worried me.
For me, it had everything to do with the kiss. Even though we’d agreed it had been a fluke, I was having a hard time believing it.
As we sat at a tall table in the bar area, waiting for the others to return, my thoughts were still scrambled, and Rook had been silently staring out the window
“Hey guys.” My brother’s voice grabbed my attention from where I’d been glowering into the amber depths of my craft beer. He’d brought company, and I groaned under my breath.
Brad and his date trailed right behind Trevor. Was my ex seriously going to approach me at my brother’s wedding, with the guy he cheated with, while I was with my boyfriend and pretend like nothing had happened? They’d both been noticeably absent over the last few days, and I preferred to keep it that way.
With wavy brown hair, navy blue eyes and an easy smile, Brad leisurely strolled toward us with his hands stuffed in his jean pockets. There was one thing I’d give him; he could appear charming. Of course, now I knew that was a load of bullshit.
“Son of a bitch,” Rook growled from the bar stool next to mine.
“Easy, killer,” I muttered before pasting on the best smile I could manage for my brother’s benefit.
Trevor stood behind me and gripped my shoulders. “Noah, you remember Brad.”
“Sure do.” My cheeks were starting to ache from the forced smile.
Brad had the nerve to reach out to shake my hand. Gritting my teeth, I met him half way and ground my molars together when he dusted his thumb over the back of my hand. “It’s good to see you again.”
Rook tensed, and with as much casual ease as I could muster, I pulled my hand back from Brad, reached down, and squeezed Rook’s thigh beneath the table. Leaning close to his ear, I whispered, “It’s fine.”
A long exhale broke through his lips, and he gave a subtle nod.
Oblivious, Trevor continued introductions. “This is his boyfriend, Andy.”
His boyfriend? The word almost made me laugh. Brad wouldn’t know how to be a boyfriend if his life depended on it.
“Nice to meet you.” I briefly glanced at the guy I’d only seen in pictures. Too much of him.
Andy’s dark eyes were narrowed, shooting daggers my way as if I’d done something wrong and not him. He must have been coached on keeping the situation quiet because he only tucked his pale blond hair behind his ear and offered a tight grin. “Hi.”
I clutched Rook’s thick arm through his long-sleeved, Henley t-shirt. “This is my boyfriend, Rook.”
Brad tilted his head, and a flicker of annoyance flashed in his eyes. “Boyfriend? I thought you two were just friends.”
“You know Rook?” Trevor asked before I could respond, not that I owed Brad an explanation.
When I glanced at my brother, I found his brows dipped in confusion. For good reason. The few times Brad had visited our house before my mom moved to Kansas with James, Rook hadn’t been there. He hadn’t met him until we’d started dating.
I glared at my ex while I picked my beer up and took a long sip. Explain your way out of that one, asshole. And cover all of our asses.
Ever the clever liar, Brad’s grin deepened. “I didn’t tell you I ran into them in the city? When I first moved there, we crossed paths.”
“I don’t remember that.” Rook hummed. When I glanced at him, he appeared thoughtful, as if he was having trouble recalling the event that we both knew had never happened.
“Well, you guys missed a great time this morning,” Trevor said to Rook and me, seemingly accepting the explanation. “You should have come.”
“I’m sure we did,” I muttered before facing him. “We’ll be at whatever’s planned next.”
Rook pinched my leg, and I winced. It wasn’t like I was excited either, but we only had a few days left befor
e the wedding and then we could go back home and complain when the temperatures dropped into the fifties. I pinched back, and Rook cursed, making me fight back a laugh.
Trevor slid onto the stool on my other side and grinned. “Kendra’s going to be happy. She’s been looking forward to the sleigh rides the most.”
Mid-swallow of his beer, Rook choked. “Sleigh ride?”
My brother rolled his eyes. “I know it sounds cheesy, but it’s actually kind of cool.”
I agreed with Rook’s obvious doubt. “I’ll have to take your word for it.”
“I think it could be fun,” Brad added, even though no one asked him or gave two shits what he thought.
Though I didn’t want to acknowledge him, I didn’t want my brother growing suspicious. I’d never ignored Brad when he’d been around the house. “Maybe.”
“Speaking of a good time.” Andy flashed me a razor-edged grin meant to cut and flicked his gaze to Brad with lowered lids. “Can we head upstairs yet?”
Was he seriously trying to make me jealous? Laughter crawled up my throat, and I held my breath to stop it from escaping.
“Sure,” Brad agreed, but his eyes were on me. “I’ll catch up with you guys later?”
Fat fucking chance. I could almost feel Rook’s blood pressure rising as, under my palm, his thigh bunched in preparation to stand. He was seconds away from blowing our cover to confront Brad, so I did the only thing I could think of. I leaned forward and kissed his tensed jaw, before whispering, “Don’t let him get to you.”
Thankfully, Andy grabbed Brad’s arm and led him away.
Rook deflated and lowered his voice so Trevor wouldn’t overhear him. “I’m sorry. He just pisses me off.”
“I know, but seriously, don’t waste your time on him. He’s not worth it.”
Rook considered me before nodding and leaned back. “I’m going to need another beer.”
“Make that two.” Trevor laughed. “I had no idea getting married was this complicated. But between me and you guys, I consider myself extremely lucky.” His gaze swung to where Andy was disappearing around the corner with Brad in tow. “I don’t know how Andy has put up with him this long. They’ve been off and on for over a year. Completely toxic relationship.”