by Cajio, Linda
"Right. And I have to go on this trip."
His expression changed. "No, you don't. I was wrong, I'll tell them - "
"No," she said, shaking her head. "I would never forgive myself if I didn't go. Not when they're short of chaperons and the trip could be canceled. That's not fair to the kids."
' 'What about the parents of those kids? They said no. Granted, they work, or that's the reason I was given. But they could lose a day as easily as you. More easily. It's for their kids."
She shook her head. "I'm a little more cynical than you about parents. Jason's had enough trauma in his life without another adult not being there for him and maybe humiliating him in front of his class. I will not, however, speak to you again."
Richard smiled. ' 'You are the most wonderful woman. I do love you."
Callie grimaced. "Go take your shower, Richard. Before I find a gun and shoot you. If you hadn't done this for Jason's sake, I'd find that gun."
He rose from the bed. Her ire dulled at the sight of his body, lean and naked and gleaming in the pale dawn light. He padded unashamed into the bathroom, as if to give her a prolonged view of what she was about to throw away. Despite the emotional turmoil he'd created, Callie still felt a jolt of remembered joining. He and her as one. It had been so right. It made her want more, made her almost willing to throw everything away and fall madly in love with him.
Why did he have to say he loved her and push her into the whirlpool again? Why couldn't he understand she wasn't ready to even hear the words? She might never be. She had doubts, too, about his feelings. She couldn't shake the notion that his love was tied up with the kids needing a mother figure, as well as a father one. Nearly any woman would do for that purpose, and she was afraid he'd eventually realize that.
Worse, she was responding to Jason's needs, too. She ought not to care if the class trip was canceled because Richard forgot to ask her to chaperon. She cared all too much and hadn't been able to say no. That was dangerous because it meant she was falling right back into putting others' needs before her own. Even last night, when ] she should have been happy without the kids, she hadn't ] been. She didn't even want to think about what her boss ' would say when she took time off from work yet again, I so she didn't think about it.
Richard emerged from the bathroom, wrapped only in I a towel. She pulled the bedclothes back over her head so she wouldn't see him dress. When he went down- ] stairs, she still left the covers over her head, hoping that would help block her thoughts. But she could smell his ] scent on the sheets. She could still feel his body heat.
She heard the kids getting up. She heard their chatter and their laughter. Every fiber of her being wanted to be , a part of their day. Every day. Richard's deep voice made her so aware of what she didn't have - and wanted.
At some point she became aware of the house noises diminishing, the front door opening and closing several 1 times. When that stopped, she knew she was alone. She scrambled out of the bed she'd shared with Richard and raced to dress. If she was to make the trip, she would have to hustle home and change. She refused to wear her clothes from last night all day today. And she would shower at home.
She was out of Richard's house in record time, al-j though she wondered if Jason or Amanda had noticed her coat and purse in the living room and asked questions. She hoped not. The two had enough to handle without explaining the sex life of two adults.
The more-than-sex life of two adults. She could deny a lot of things, but she couldn't deny it was more than sex with Richard. It was.
Callie pushed the notions out of her head. Right now she needed to stay practical and angry with Richard. The latter was self-preservation. She opened her car door -
"Callie! This goes too far!"
"The voice of doom," Callie muttered, not turning to face her sister, Gerri. More loudly she said, "Out of the way, girl. I've got to be on a bus to New York pronto."
One problem sidestepped, she thought as she backed her car past her sister's shocked face. An odd notion hit "her, and she smiled wryly.
She and Richard still hadn't had a normal date.
Holding the handle of Mark's stroller, Richard hovered near the elevators at the top of the Empire State Building. He watched Callie shepherding Jason and some other boys at the high fencing around the stone terrace wall. All of them were trying to peek over the edge down to the street. Way, way down to the street. He could get on airplanes, but wide-open heights like this bothered him.
He called out, "Guys, get away from there. Please."
Jay turned around and grinned. "We're okay, Uncle Richard."
Callie didn't turn at all. She hadn't spoken to him, either, during the entire trip. Well, she hadn't spoken to him unless she absolutely had to. Nothing was worse than a two-hour ride on a school bus next to a woman who looked straight ahead - especially when she had jbeen insatiable for him just a few hours before.
Despite the fifty-degree temperature and crisp breeze, sweat broke out on Richard's forehead as the kids stood on tiptoe to see below. "Jay, you may be okay, but I'm ���not. Now, step back from the edge. Why don't you use the binocular stand? Maybe you can see across the city to Jersey. Here, I've got money." " The herd of boys he chaperoned pounded over to him at the promise of cash. They gathered around him, hands out and palms up, as he fished coins from his pocket.
He passed the money out, saying, "Now you guys! understand that this is a bribe to stay away from the edge."
The boys laughed. They had been rambunctious but well behaved enough during their tour of Ellis Island and lunch at the Fulton Fish Market. Certainly they were unaware of the tension between him and Callie. Most ofi the trip participants hadn't noticed, either. Jay's teacher1 had gushed all over Callie for coming along, since she made up the requisite number of adults. At least one thing had turned out okay this morning, but, man, did1 he wish he hadn't gotten out of bed today, not withi Callie still in it!
He sent the boys off to view New Jersey. Callie, he noticed, still stood at the fence, gazing out over the city. He desperately wanted to call her back, but knew she probably stayed over there just to irritate him. She was] doing a good job of it.
Sitting down heavily on a bench, he admitted to being wearier than he'd been in a long time. He had only himself to blame for the cause. Not only had he had very little sleep, but he'd forgotten he'd volunteered to chaperon and also added the trauma of declaring his love to Callie. Then he had compounded all that by forgetting to ask her about helping today and putting her in an untenable position.
"Sky!" Mark shouted, nearly standing in his stroller.1 The child reached his hand up to try to touch the white puffy clouds. The day was glorious, one of those great moments November produced in the Northeast.
"Let me tell you, son, being this close isn't a thrill when you're old," Richard said, grinning wryly. Maybe falling off a cliff in another life had given him this feeling now. "Are you having fun with the big kids?"
Mark stopped reaching. He leaned almost out of the stroller. "Yeah!"
Richard laughed. "I'm glad someone is."
He lifted Mark the rest of the way out, holding the boy on his lap. He wanted Mark to see the city, but not as close as Jay had. It was time to check on his charges, anyway, who'd seemed to scatter to every corner of the observation terrace.
He walked past Callie, debating whether to stop and attempt conversation. Her back was to him, although she had to be aware of his presence. Okay, she was ticked off. She had a right to be. Maybe he was better off not speaking to her.
He went around the terrace area made famous by An Affair to Remember and Sleepless in Seattle. The place would have to be romantic, he thought in disgust. He and Callie should be strolling arm in arm, looking deeply into each other's eyes. Instead, she was in a furious funk over at the potential suicide ledge, and he was chasing down a gaggle of seven-and eight-year-old boys. Cupid had missed his backside big time.
"It must be old age," he muttered to himself.
To Mark he said, "Men are idiots. It's a curse, kid. You have it. I have it. Jay has it. Maybe Tom Hanks doesn't have it, but he's the only one."
"Ding-dong," Mark said aptly. "Want a cookie."
He wasn't sure whether Mark was demanding or offering. "In a minute."
He found the boys taking turns viewing the city from a pair of standing binoculars. Their aim, evidently, was to look through every viewer on the terrace. Richard wondered whether they would run out of coins or time first. He silently bet on the latter. They were set to leave the building in about ten minutes. "Are the kids okay?"
Richard whirled around at Callie's voice. Unfortunately she looked as though she'd spit out nails, instead of words. But she had asked him.
"Callie!" Mark shouted, leaning toward her with outstretched arms.
She smiled and took him automatically. Her hands brushed Richard's arms during the exchange. His had brushed her breasts. He refused to think about it.
"You didn't have to take him," Richard said.
"I don't mind." She cuddled Mark to her.
Richard frowned, something in the scene bothering him. Not jealousy. Heck, he'd be happy with jealousy. Suddenly he knew. "You took him because he wanted your attention."
"Do you have a problem with that?" The way she eyed him, he knew he was on dangerous ground.
"No, but you do."
Her eyebrows shot up.
"You're not putting your needs first when you need to." He swallowed. "Boy, I hope I'm explaining this right, because I have a feeling you're about to slug me."
"I've been about to slug you since five this morning," she countered. "So what else is new? All right, tell me why I am not putting my needs first when I take Mark because he wants to be held by me. And don't tell me I'm not good enough now."
"Hell, no," Richard exclaimed, realizing he'd opened something unexpected.
"Hello, no!" Mark shouted.
Richard chuckled. Callie even grinned. Then she sobered. Richard knew he was back in trouble. "I could have held him, Callie. I was happy to. I'm capable of it, I think. You need to say no sometimes. That's all I meant."
"You rope me into this trip without a thought to my needs and then worry about my holding Mark." She looked around. "Anybody see the irony here? Anybody? Anybody?"
"I am sorry, and I apologized earlier for this. I would have taken responsibility for my failure today if you hadn't come. Jason would have gotten over it. I would have learned a lesson I wouldn't have forgotten. I might even have found a replacement and none of this would be happening."
"In other words, you're saying I'm responsible for my being angry with you."
He looked heavenward. "No, I'm saying you had every right to refuse this morning to chaperon. You have nothing to feel guilty about or pressured into doing. I tried to say this earlier. I did say it. Maybe I shouldn't have depended on you like I did in the beginning. Or brought the kids on dates. Or done things the way I did. I set you up today, and I was wrong."
"You're mixing a lot of things in there."
He smiled slightly. "Yeah, I am."
"Ding-dong."
"Thank you, Mark." The kid was right, Richard thought, although he felt better now that he'd said the things he needed to say to her. Maybe the romantic atmosphere helped.
"I accept your apology for volunteering me without telling me first," Callie said. "I don't accept that I could have walked away from the job."
"I'm still in trouble about that, then."
"Absolutely. Now, can I hold Mark because I want to?" she asked.
"Of course. But only because you want to." "I do."
He drew in a deep breath. "Callie, about this morning -
She raised a hand. "We've talked enough, okay?"
They hadn't, but he recognized he was pressing her. But he did love her. He had no doubt. Just for her, just for moments like this when her goodness came through. "Okay."
"I think I'll take Mark over to look down at the street. He'll like the cars being like tiny ants."
Richard's stomach crawled. "You're doing this to punish me."
She smiled. "You'll never know for sure, will you? Want to join us?" "No way."
She smiled broadly. "I thought not."
"You're no Meg Ryan, Callie."
She laughed. "I'm just showing Mark the city, Richard. This is the trip of a lifetime for him. Me, too. Relax."
He watched her take Mark to the fencing. Callie actually pressed her forehead against the chain link and pointed down at the cars on the streets. Perspiration trickled down his back. She was a wicked wicked woman. But she was speaking to him again.
"Uncle Richard! Time to go," Jay called out.
"Thank you," Richard murmured, sending up a prayer for his rescue.
Chapter Thirteen
"You're fired."
Callie stared at her boss, stunned. He glared back, his weaselly expression triumphant. He'd always been fussy and curt with her, but she never realized before how much he personally disliked her. She wondered how long he'd been looking for an excuse to terminate her. At last she found her voice.
"You can't fire me just because I took a day for personal business yesterday," she said. "I still have days left in - "
"Oh, yes, I can. You've been out of the office too much lately, and the work's not getting done. I'm firing you for poor job performance."
Callie felt her face burn as anger boiled up inside her. She refused to give it an outlet - and give this clown more ammunition. "I've done my work at home and kept up with my voice mail. There's very little behind here in the office - "
"That's not the point You're out. Now."
"Fine. I'm entitled to one month's severance, full unemployment and a hearing, because I'm filing a protest. You gave me a great evaluation on the last quarterly performance ratings, so there's bound to be a big question about your suddenly firing me." She leaned forward. "You don't know the half of what I do around here that covers your butt and makes you look good. Have fun, pal."
She picked up her coat and purse and walked out the door, just as Lester Jones walked in.
Callie opened the door wider to let the older man pass. "Come on in, Lester. It's so good to see you again. Now step right over to that gentleman, and I use the term loosely. He'll be happy to help you with whatever you need today."
"Hey, Callie! Where you going?" Lester demanded.
"I've been canned, as they say in the sardine world." She grinned, although she felt no amusement. "I'm off to see the job wizard."
"You can't go. I'm finally back among the living, thanks to you," Lester said, looking bewildered rather than belligerent. "Got my notice yesterday that I'm back with my bank. Who's the idiot who fired you? That clown over there?''
He pointed to Callie's former boss.
Callie kissed Lester soundly on the cheek. "You're a terrific person, Lester. Take care."
She raced out of the office. When she got in her car, her lip trembled. She refused to cry. That would give the idiot in there satisfaction - if he knew. Darn, she thought, dashing away a few escapee tears with the back of her hand. She couldn't give in just because her world was crashing all around her. Going with the kids on their trip yesterday had been the right thing to do; she would never feel otherwise. In fact, she'd had so much fun with the kids, she'd gone to bed last night reassessing her life in general and her convictions in particular. But with no job, how would she pay for school and have a place to live and eat, too?
She drove around for a while, aimlessly, just letting the fiasco of the morning sink in. As she did, an urge arose in her to go to Richard. Never had she needed a hug more, and she wanted it from him. How could she feel this way when it was her involvement with his family that had caused her to be away from her desk so much and given her boss this opening?
But she did want to be held and to talk to Richard. She couldn't fight the need to confide in him, even when she was still angry with him for committing her to the trip and then
forgetting to tell her. She was ready to half blame him for today, although she recognized that her boss would have found an opening somewhere else to remove her from the job. What happened wasn't Richard's fault; nor was her going on the trip yesterday. He was right - she had made the choice to go. Now she must live with the consequences of it. But above all else in their relationship, Richard had become a friend. A very good friend. That was why she needed to see him now.
She pulled into Richard's driveway, already feeling better. Richard looked surprised when he answered the door.
"Callie! What are you doing here?"
He also looked disheveled. His hair was tousled and he wore a sweatshirt with the sleeves cut short, their raggedy edges fraying. Mark peeked out from around his legs, thumb in mouth.
"Hi," she said. "Got any more school trips you might have forgotten to tell me about? I'm a free bird at the moment, so let's chaperon away."
To her horror, tears began to roll down her face.
''Callie!'' Richard exclaimed. Mark stared, round-eyed, at her.
"Just leaky plumbing," she said, sniffing back more tears. "I'm sorry. I'll go."
"No you won't." He took her arm and dragged her 1 into the house, shutting the door behind her.
His arms enfolded her in a strong protective embrace. Callie melted against him and had herself a good little cry, simply because she couldn't remember the last time someone had held her for a good little cry. She couldn't remember a man ever doing it for her.
Nothing felt more secure, more deep-down satisfying than to have a man's arms around her in compassion. She really needed this. All modern notions aside, it must hark back to the ancient pact between men and women when men shielded women and women nurtured children. Mark wrapped his little arms around her legs from behind and laid his head on the back of her thighs.
"Callie have boo-boo," Mark said.
Callie patted the little boy's head. "Just a little one. I'm okay, honey. Honest"
"What happened?" Richard asked. "Did you have an accident? Did someone...die?"
Callie laughed and hiccuped at the same time. "Nope. Even our friend Lester is back among the bank accounts. Nothing too tragic, although I feel like I got hit by a ten-ton truck. I got fired this morning."