by Jessie Cooke
“You’ll find it someday, and hopefully you won’t make it as complicated as I have.”
“The fact that Zack doesn’t see you fighting for your baby boy as ‘complicated’ is one of the reasons I think he’s perfect for you. I see the way he looks at you both and he might not even know it yet, but he’s as in love with Liam as he is with you.”
Nicole could see it too, and it was one of the things that had made her fall in love with him. No matter how rough his exterior, Zack had one of the best hearts of anyone she’d ever met. She stood up and kissed her baby on his soft forehead and then she kissed Stacey on the cheek. “Thank you.”
Stacey winked and said, “Anytime, and Nick?”
“Yeah?”
“When you two get your shit worked out, I really want a crack at Hashtag.”
Nicole smiled. “Since I’m discovering that one bad biker doesn’t make them all losers, I promise not to object.”
Stacey took the baby and put him in her room, and then she took her book and a glass of wine and got in her bed. Nicole showered and dressed in Stacey’s new red dress. It was short, only coming to mid-thigh, and the back was cut out to the waist. It fit her snugly but not too tightly across her breasts and waist, and the little skirt flared slightly over her hips. She also borrowed a pair of red shoes out of Stacey’s closet. They matched the dress perfectly and had a manageable three-inch heel. Nicole didn’t have any nice clothes anymore. When she first moved in with Spider, she used to buy a dress now and then, but after a while of never going anywhere other than to the club or a seedy bar, she decided to stop wasting her money. She was thankful for Stacey. Her friend was almost exactly her size and had a flair for fashion.
After she was dressed, she applied her make-up, another thing she rarely did anymore, and dried and styled her hair with the straightener so that it hung smoothly across her shoulders and down her back. She realized that it had been so long since she dressed up, she barely recognized herself. She hoped that Zack would like it and not think she was silly for getting so dressed up to ride on the back of his bike. She didn’t even know where they were going. She heard his knock on the front door then and realized it was too late to change her outfit; she’d have to make do wherever they ended up.
Nicole looked through the peephole and the sight of Zack made her heart instantly speed up. He was dressed in a blue shirt with a collar and a pair of black jeans and boots. He’d combed his long hair back into a ponytail at the nape of his neck and he was completely clean-shaven. Most surprising was that he wasn’t wearing his kutte and he was holding a bouquet of flowers in his right hand. She pulled open the door and the look on his face made the clean panties she’d just put on damp.
“Oh my God. Baby, you look…amazing. Damn, you’re gorgeous.”
Nicole smiled. “Right back at you. Look at you in regular people clothes.”
Zack looked almost embarrassed but that sexy, confident edge was in his voice still when he said, “Right? I’m rocking them.”
She giggled. “Yes, you are. I’m so glad to see you. I was so worried.” She stepped back and let him in. Zack handed her the flowers and before she could bring them up to her nose and smell them, he captured her mouth with his. He kissed her long and slow, sending chills down her arms and spine as he used his tongue to caress and taste the inside of her mouth. When he pulled back, she was dizzy and she’d almost forgotten her own name.
“I’m sorry you had to worry. Brendan was supposed to let you know I was out.”
“He must have forgotten,” she said, finally sticking her nose in the flowers. “They’re beautiful and they smell wonderful. Thank you, Zack.” She didn’t realize that her eyes had filled with tears until he said:
“What’s wrong, baby? Don’t cry. I’m sorry about all this shit. I promise you that those drugs weren’t mine, but I should have been more careful…”
Nicole sat the flowers down on the table next to the door and put her arms around him. She cut off his words with her mouth and after she gave him a soft kiss she said, “I never doubted that they weren’t yours. I’m the one who is sorry for getting you into this mess.”
He hugged her tightly and then put his mouth to her ear and said, “We’re going to enjoy tonight and you’re going to relax…and then tomorrow, after suffering through looking at Spider’s ugly face at the hearing, you’re going to be able to get on with your life, okay, baby?” She nodded. Going out for a change was going to be nice, but if he kept holding her so close, she was going to start ripping off his clothes and change their plans. “Come on,” he said. “We have an eight-thirty reservation.”
“A reservation? Fancy.”
“Only the best for my baby,” he said with a wink. Nicole put her flowers in a vase and grabbed her purse before they left. She was surprised when they stepped out and she didn’t see Zack’s bike. He led her instead to a dark brown minivan. She tried to control her smile when he unlocked the passenger door for her, but it won out. “Are you laughing at my ride?”
She giggled. “Never. It’s just going to be an…experience, seeing Zack Leoni behind the wheel of a minivan.”
He laughed. “Yeah, I tried to borrow Stone’s old lady’s SUV, but she had plans. This was the best I could do. I didn’t want my pretty baby to get all messed up on the back of the bike on the way to dinner…not that I can even imagine you messed up.”
She was touched that he had thought so much about her comfort. He helped her into the van and got into the driver’s seat. He looked just as hot behind the wheel of a soccer mom car as he did on the back of his Harley. Nicole had never thought about sex so much before she met Zack, but it was like he oozed it out his pores and she couldn’t help but breathe it in. On the way to the restaurant, she asked him about the charges and what was going to happen.
“They’re putting together a case while I’m out on bail,” he said. “If they think they have enough, they’ll set a court date and maybe offer me a deal.”
Nicole’s chest hurt again at the thought of his going to jail or prison. “They didn’t believe you were set up?”
“Nah, they didn’t care to hear any of that,” he said, as he drove in the direction of the river. “But it’ll be okay. I know Brendan doesn’t look like much, but he’s a really good lawyer.” Nicole laughed and he glanced over at her with his sexy blue eyes narrowed. “What’s that about? You think he looks like much?”
Zack’s attorney, although nowhere near as sexy as Zack, might be one of the best-looking men that Nicole had ever seen. He had short, finger-styled, jet-black hair, dark green eyes, olive-colored skin, and what looked to be a killer body underneath his expensive suit. “No, baby, he didn’t look like much to me at all,” she said with a sly little smile.
Zack snorted. “Whatever. He’s a pretty boy.”
“Yes, he is,” she said. Changing the subject back she said, “So if it goes to court…”
Zack pulled the van into the lot of a restaurant called Memphis Rose. It was a really nice place near the water, where Nicole had often fantasized about being taken on a date. She assumed it was outrageously expensive just from things that she’d heard from customers at the bakery and the fact that it was built almost entirely out of glass and dark red brick. Large potted plants and tropical-looking flowers adorned the outside and a valet desk sat in front of the door in the circular drive. She’d almost forgotten what she was saying when she realized that was where Zack was taking her.
“How about we make a pact?”
“Okay…?”
“No talking about court tonight. Tomorrow we deal with Spider and when the time comes, we’ll deal with my charges. But tonight, we’re on a date. No business. No bullshit.”
Nicole smiled. “Sounds perfect,” she said. Zack drove up to the valet entrance and got out of the van. Her door was pulled open for her and before she stepped out, Zack was at her side with his arm out. She thought she felt it shaking slightly as she took it, and she saw a small shado
w cross his face as they approached the door. “Hey, everything okay?” she asked.
Zack stopped, took a deep breath, and then took both of her hands in his and stood facing her. “You know, I have spent my whole life not being afraid of anything. I was always the first one to try everything and even though most of the city of San Antonio was afraid of my father, he didn’t scare me. I was brave to the point of stupidity, but I don’t think I even knew how to be scared. Since I met you, Nicole…I’ve been scared to death of everything. You’re my weakness.”
She wasn’t sure she understood what he meant, or if that was a good thing or bad. “I make you afraid?” she asked.
He nodded and smiled. “I realized that the reason I’ve never been afraid before was because I never had anything to lose. I don’t want to lose you, Nicole.”
She shook her head. “You’re not going to lose me.”
He smiled and kissed her forehead. “I hope not.” His blue eyes looked worried again but before Nicole could ask him why he steered her back toward the door and said, “Okay, that’s all the mushy stuff.” They stepped inside and he turned back into her confident, amazing lover as he took charge and told the hostess they had a reservation, but Nicole was touched deeply by his words. She’d been threatened not to leave by her parents and again by Spider, over and over again, but no one had ever simply bared their soul that way to her and admitted how much she meant to them; besides Liam, Zack was the first person she’d ever met that she was sure she wouldn’t ever be able to live without.
31
They were led past a long, lighted bar where nicely dressed people sat and immaculately groomed bartenders mixed colorful drinks. Waiters dressed in starched white shirts and black pants circulated, carrying trays of food on silver platters, and more nicely dressed people sat at the tables, having what looked like cordial conversations. It was a far cry from any place Nicole was used to being since becoming an adult, and it made her happy to see evidence that the whole world didn’t count a dark, smoky bar where people were getting falling-down drunk, high on meth, and having sex in the corner as a night out.
The waiter greeted them, took their drink orders, and left them with menus. She had to keep reminding herself not to smile every time she looked at Zack. Partly she wanted to smile just because she was so happy to be there with him, but the other part of her could see that he was almost as nervous about being in the restaurant as she was, and she thought it was adorable. He’d gone way out of his comfort zone to make the night special for her and that meant so much.
They made small talk, mostly about Liam, until their food came. Zack had ordered the prime rib and Nicole the shrimp scampi. Once they started eating their entrée Zack said, “You know, I don’t know a lot about your past. You know all the creepy details about my parents. Where are yours?”
Nicole made a face. She knew she would eventually have to talk about them, but she wasn’t sure she really wanted to. She took a sip of her wine and said, “They live in Clarksville; that’s where I grew up. My father is a minister and my mother was a stay-at-home mother, but she did seamstress work on the side, mostly for people in our church.”
Nicole could tell that Zack was surprised to hear that. He looked like he was thinking about it for a minute and finally he said, “So how did the minister’s daughter end up with a guy like…you know who? Or hell, even me for that matter?”
“Well, you know what they say about sheltering your kids…it can be almost as bad as letting them run wild without any parenting. I was a good girl, for a really long time. I was a straight A student and I went to church and bible study and my friends were all from the church. It was all I knew, I guess. I went to parochial school and I wasn’t exposed to the real world. We didn’t have a television…I guess you can say I was almost a captive in my parents’ home. It made me shy and awkward. I had no self-esteem.” She paused to take a bite of her shrimp and another drink of her wine. Zack looked enthralled by what she thought was her boring life story. She smiled at him and went on, “After high school graduation I enrolled in the Christian college in town. I’m sure it was still much tamer than the regular colleges, but it was my first real exposure to things like dating and partying, even simple things like fast food and television. I kind of lost my mind. I started going to parties and running around with people that I probably shouldn’t have. I still lived at home, so I learned how to lie and sneak around. I met Spider at a party. His edginess was attractive to me and we almost instantly started seeing each other. He would come into town every weekend and I’d make up some lie to my parents about staying on campus or with a friend and I’d spend it all with him. My grades started falling, but I wasn’t smart enough to care at the time. My hormones had taken over. After about a month and a half of seeing him, I quit school, moved out of my parent’s house…and you know the rest of that sad story.”
Zack finished his last bite of steak and drained his beer. “So, what is your relationship with them like now?”
She rolled her eyes. “Nonexistent. The first time I tried to leave Spider, I went home. They both told me how ashamed of me they were for what I’d been doing, rather than being proud of me for trying to leave. It was miserable, and they made me feel ashamed of myself and worthless. I went back to Spider and that’s when I found out I was pregnant.”
“So, they’ve never met Liam?” She shook her head, sadly. She wished that Liam had “normal” grandparents, but she doubted that would ever be the case. “Do they know about him?” She shook her head again and felt her face go hot.
“Liam was such a blessing to me. He was the piece of my life that had been missing, and you know how much I adore him. I’m in awe of him. I guess I was afraid if I told them, they would shame me somehow and take some of that sparkle away from me. I didn’t want to risk it.”
Zack smiled and reached for her hand. “You know, Liam came from Spider and I thought knowing that would be too much even for me. But I can look into his little eyes and see his old man’s DNA…and I still love the kid. Grandparents, normal ones, anyways, get all mushy and squishy over their grandkids. I remember when I was a kid I used to ache to have grandparents like some of my friends did. Even old bikers soften up when a kid is involved. And Liam is not just any kid. I mean, he’s the first one I’ve ever liked.”
Nicole laughed. “You might be right. Maybe when all this custody stuff is over, I’ll find the courage to introduce them. I’m so glad you love him, Zack. He’s so lucky to have you in his life.”
He squeezed her hand. “I’m the lucky one, babe. Things will be better for us soon, I promise. I’ll make sure of it.”
After they finished their dinner and were both too full for dessert, Zack took her for a walk along the lighted path that led alongside the river. The big Mississippi paddleboats lined the shore, and some of them were lit up with music and lights and people that looked like they were having a great time underneath the stars. It was the first night in a long time that Nicole didn’t feel any anxiety at all, and she was beginning to be able to believe Zack when he said that somehow things would turn out okay.
When they walked back to the van Zack pressed his body into hers and gently pushed her back up against the side of it. He cupped her chin in his hand before bringing his lips down to meet hers and kissing her. Once again it was a hot kiss, but filled with so much more that she felt it all the way to her toes. Zack started to open the door of the van for her but he stopped and grinned down at her and said:
“You know, you can take the biker out of the clubhouse and dress him up…but you can’t take the clubhouse out of the biker.”
She giggled. “And what does that mean, exactly?”
He shrugged. “I was just standing in the parking lot of this fancy restaurant, full of the fancy food and the ten-dollar beer, looking at the sexiest woman alive and wondering…”
“Wondering what?”
“Have you ever had hot monkey sex in the back of a minivan in a parking lot?�
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Nicole threw her head back and laughed. When she stopped laughing she said, “I guess I only clean up on the surface too, because that sounds like one hell of a fun idea.”
The windows to the van were tinted, and she stood and watched in anticipation as Zack opened the back and popped up the seat to make it lie down. There was about five feet of room on one direction and four in the other. Zack wouldn’t be able to lie all the way down, but Nicole didn’t doubt that he could work with that. He took her by the hand and lifted her inside, then he closed the back end and went over and climbed in through the sliding door, stopping to push down the automatic locks before he reached her and pulled her into another kiss. While their tongues danced together and they sucked and bit at each other’s lips, Zack moved them around so that Nicole was lying on her back with her knees just slightly bent to the side and he lay down next to her, tangling his legs up in hers. He let his hands gently rub her back as they kissed, and once things began to heat up, he began to push up the little dress she was wearing and his hot hands were soon sizzling against her bare skin. He didn’t stop there, though; he continued to push until it was underneath her arms and she wiggled around enough to allow him to slide it up over her head. Her strapless bra magically disappeared next and Nicole began working on the buttons of his shirt. While she did that, he rolled and tweaked her nipples between his fingers, making her moan. Once she had all his buttons undone, he pulled off his shirt and her palms were free to roam the hard planes of his chest. Most people didn’t realize that riding a motorcycle kept a man in even better shape than he might be if he went to the gym every day. Holding tightly to the handlebars and using his upper body strength to lean into curves kept his pecs and arms as cut as a bodybuilder’s. She could feel his hard thighs pressing into her through his jeans as well as his already throbbing erection.