‘Just stay quiet and we’ll watch,’ said James. He wound down his window and cocked his head to listen.
I felt cold all over and thought it must have been the air coming from outside. I rolled my window down and carefully put my hand out. It wasn’t that much colder than in the car, but I still felt freezing. I pulled up the sleeve of my jumper and my arm was all goosebumps. I looked at James and saw him shiver inside his down jacket.
‘They don’t seem to be coming up here,’ said James. ‘They’re just staying down there, moving about. It’s weird.’
Then he picked up the camera.
‘This is even weirder,’ he said. ‘I can’t see them through the camera.’
We looked at each other. I raised my eyebrows and said nothing. I didn’t want him to think I was stupid. He lifted the camera up and down to his eyes a couple of times and then passed it to me. It was true. You could see the lights with your naked eyes, but as soon as you put the camera up, they disappeared.
I gave the camera back to him and we watched the lights for a moment more and then just as suddenly as they had appeared they went out.
We looked at each other again.
‘Do you think someone was there?’ I asked in a voice that came out very small and squeaky. James opened his eyes wide.
‘There was something there,’ he said. ‘It could have been a group of people walking with flashlights through the trees and that’s why they seemed to come and go.’
‘They must have been jumping up and down on trampolines as well,’ I said, realizing I no longer felt cold.
‘You’re right – that was just plain weird,’ said James. ‘And we couldn’t see them through the camera. It doesn’t make any sense.’
He looked at me closely. ‘Did you say you came on a ghost tour here?’
I nodded. ‘Yes. We didn’t see any ghosts, but there were loads of spooky stories and it was really easy to believe they were here. It sort of throbs with atmosphere, doesn’t it?’
‘You’re not wrong,’ said James, rolling up his window. ‘Let’s put some hearty Christian music on,’ he said with mock joviality.
We had some more coffee and played a few games of I Spy – not very interesting in a car – and I tried not to think about the ghost stories the guide had told us. By 3 a.m. I was starting to feel quite sleepy and after jolting back to consciousness a couple of times when James spoke to me, I think he must have let me drift off, because I woke suddenly to his hand gently shaking my leg and his urgent whisper.
‘Antonia, wake up. There are people here. It’s for real this time. Keep still, stay very quiet and keep watching. Wind your window down a bit, slowly, so we can hear. I’m going to get the camera ready.’
I could make out the sound of cars coming down the track and then they came round the corner into view. There were two large four-wheel drives and they were coming towards us. My heart was pounding and out of the corner of my eye I could see James taking the lens cap off his camera.
‘Stay cool, Antonia,’ he whispered in his deep, animal-calming voice. ‘If they come over to us, let me deal with it. It will be OK, they’ve got no reason to suspect us of anything. As far as they’re concerned it’s just a coincidence that we’re here tonight.’
To my very great relief, the cars pulled over to the right and didn’t come quite to the point where they could easily have seen us. Four men got out. They were holding flashlights. James lifted up his camera.
‘Well, well, well,’ he murmured. ‘I think we hit the jackpot.’ He squeezed the shutter a few times. ‘Let’s just watch and see what they do.’
The men moved off away from us, towards another set of buildings where we couldn’t see them.
‘Are they getting away?’ I asked.
‘I don’t think so,’ said James. ‘They’ll have to come back to their cars and I’m pretty sure they’ll come over this way as well. This is where they want to build the shopping centre.’
After an agonizing wait, we heard their feet coming across on the gravelly path and saw the flashlights playing over the buildings right next to us. James took some more pictures of them, as they looked at the foundations of the old buildings and then out towards the Harbour. Then he passed the camera to me. I looked through it and let out an involuntary gasp.
‘Oh my God,’ I said. ‘I know them.’
‘What?’ said James, sounding horrified. ‘Do they know you?’
I nodded, dumbly. There was one man I didn’t recognize, but the others were David Maier, Roger Thorogood – and Dee’s husband, Frankie. I felt something like panic rise in my chest and thrust the camera back at James, who very quietly hid it away in the compartment under the glove box.
Then a flashlight shone right into my eyes.
‘Shit,’ said James. ‘They’ve seen us.’
And before I could say, or even think, anything he turned round in his seat, grabbed me and stuck his tongue in my mouth. Despite my surprise, I was aware of heavy footsteps coming closer to the car. Without taking his mouth away from mine, James managed to speak.
‘These guys are really dangerous, Antonia. We can’t let them see you, we’ve got to make this look real. Whatever happens, don’t let them see your face.’
I was terrified, but at the same time, I was ecstatic. James was kissing me. And while I knew he was just using me as a cover, he was doing an awfully good job of making it seem real.
He had his hands cupped around my face and his tongue was exploring my mouth, gently but insistently. Then his hands moved down over my body and then up under my jumper. I was moaning involuntarily and so was he. Or maybe he was just acting, it was hard to know, it was all happening at once. Suddenly I heard David Maier’s voice near the car.
‘Hey, fellas, we’ve got ourselves a courting couple,’ I heard him shout over his shoulder. ‘They’re pashing. Shame we didn’t get here a bit later, might have been something more interesting to look at.’
I heard his footsteps coming closer and it sounded like the others were coming over too.
‘I’ve got to see this,’ said another voice, coming nearer. A voice I recognized as Frankie. ‘Pashing in the passion wagon. Reminds me of my youth. But we’d better check them out anyway,’ he added, his voice hardening, and remembering what a street-smart old fox Frankie was, it suddenly dawned on me what was about to happen.
If they knocked on the window and James had to take his face away from mine, to acknowledge them, they’d see me. I knew immediately what I had to do. Relying on my hair to cover my face, I pushed James away from me as hard as I could, back into his own seat and then I sank my face into his lap, unzipping his fly at the same time.
I made it just as I heard them stop right by the car and I found something very hard waiting there for me. I put my mouth round it and gently moved my head. James groaned. There was coarse laughter outside.
‘Way to go, mate,’ said Frankie. ‘Get her to give you a headie.’
‘Are we next?’ said David Maier, which nearly stopped me in my tracks. But not quite. I moved my head faster. James had his hands in my hair and was starting to writhe in his seat. I felt him throw back his head.
‘Oh God,’ he was saying and this time I didn’t think he was putting it on. I certainly wasn’t. I rolled my tongue around the end of him, swishing my hair across his lap at the same time.
‘She knows what she’s doing,’ said another voice, who I realized was Roger Thorogood. ‘It’s giving me ideas. Think we should head home, what do you say, guys?’
‘Maybe we should call in somewhere more interesting on the way?’ said David Maier and the others grunted in agreement.
Then I heard the footsteps start to move away and the laughter get fainter. Finally the car doors slammed and the engines revved. I didn’t entirely want to, but I stopped moving.
‘Just stay where you are,’ whispered James, breathing heavily, his voice quivering slightly. ‘Just keep your head out of sight, until they’ve gone.’
His fingers were still twining my hair. Encouraged, I breathed out deeply and ran my tongue over him slowly. He let out a wobbly sigh.
At last I heard the cars drive off and very gently James lifted me up and looked into my eyes. My heart was pounding and I didn’t know how much was fright and how much was passion. He was still holding my head in his hands and I thought he was going to say something – something like, Good work, agent Antonia, now we can leave. But instead he pulled my face towards him and kissed me again, gently and insistently, with his sensuous tongue.
And that was it. James made love to me until dawn. I’d never experienced anything like it. I hadn’t known what a man could do to a woman until he did it to me. And he did it in the passenger seat, he did it in the back seat, he did it, most memorably, over the bonnet of the car and as the sun came up he did it on the ground, with me lying on his down jacket. The noise I made would have frightened the ghosts away.
I was rendered speechless and helpless by the feelings he aroused in me and was amazed at the things I did back to him, completely out of instinct. I did things to James I had never even heard about – and he seemed to like it.
Without going into too many grisly details, it took me just a few minutes with James to realize I had never really come with Hugo, not properly. With James it happened without me having to think about it, the rush of feeling just took me over like a tidal wave. It was harder to hold it back than to let it happen and it happened over and over again.
And his body was everything it had promised to be under those nasty track pants. Muscular, strong, smooth, supple and mighty well endowed where you’d most want it to be. He took me to another planet. In a solar system Hugo had never even heard of.
As the sun came up, he was lying beside me, nuzzling my ear and neck, his fingers caressing my body, through the tangle of my clothes. I was stretching out in bliss, unable to stop my limbs and hips moving, as long as he was touching me.
‘You’re so beautiful,’ he said. ‘I’ve wanted to do this to you for so long.’
I rolled over and pulled myself on top of him, my legs astride his hips so he couldn’t move. I stroked his head with my hands and gazed down at his beautiful face.
‘But you told me you were celibate,’ I said.
‘Do not laugh at the snake,’ he said, in his best kung fu voice. ‘For he may turn into a dragon.’
And then he made love to me again.
16
By the time we surfaced it was bright daylight.
‘Shit,’ said James, blinking and looking at his watch. ‘We’d better shift ourselves. Those rangers start work really early and I don’t want to get caught in here.’
We pulled ourselves together hastily and got back into the car. As we drove up to the gate something occurred to me.
‘James,’ I said. ‘Wouldn’t it have tipped Frankie and his cronies off that someone was already there when they found this gate unlocked last night?’
‘No,’ he replied. ‘Those guys are so arrogant, they would have assumed that it was just their luck that it was open. Are you hungry?’
I realized I was more ravenous than I’d been since Percy first put me on a diet.
‘I’m staaaarving,’ I said.
James smiled and squeezed my hand. He didn’t let go of it. In fact he held it, resting on his thigh, all the way back to the Eastern Suburbs, taking his away only to change gear. When we stopped to pay the toll at the Harbour Bridge, he leaned over and gave me one of his slow insistent kisses, until the cars behind us started hooting.
Eventually we pulled up outside a café in Elizabeth Bay and James got out and opened the door for me. As I stepped onto the pavement, he pulled me up, put his arms round me and kissed me again, pressing me against the car.
‘I can’t keep my hands off you,’ he said.
‘That’ll teach you to be celibate,’ I said, realizing that until that night I had been celibate myself since well before Hugo’s announcement. What a difference a night makes, I thought.
The café was crowded with people sucking up life-giving caffeine on their way to work, but I was oblivious to all of them, although I noticed James give the room the once-over when we walked in. I also noticed that he sat with his back to it all.
We both had the works – bacon, eggs, mushrooms, the lot – although James didn’t have any tea or coffee, just hot water.
‘You’re playing havoc with my regime,’ he said. ‘I drank coffee poison with you last night and I never eat this stuff.’ He put a large piece of bacon into his mouth and grinned happily.
He held my hand all through breakfast too – eating with a fork in his left hand, picking the bacon up with his fingers. I watched every movement, experiencing one of my now customary James twinges when he licked the bacon fat off them.
‘Are you left-handed?’ I asked, suddenly and totally obsessed with every tiny detail of him.
‘Yep,’ he said. ‘And I’m left-footed too. I went to a Jesuit school. I think that’s why the ascetic lifestyle appeals to me.’ He paused and narrowed twinkling eyes at me. ‘And of course it makes breaking my vows – chastity, poverty, penitence, no wheat, dairy, sugar, caffeine or animal fats, et cetera – all the more enjoyable. Especially the chastity part.’
I grinned back at him, finding everything about him delicious, delightful, de-lovely and every other cliché of total lust. It wasn’t until I was mopping up the last of my egg yolk with a crust of toast that the first prongs of reality prodded me. What would happen next? Would he just take me home and leave me? Was this just a one-night stand? And if it wasn’t, was I mad? Did I really want to get involved with another man – ever – after what Hugo had done to me?
I was also beginning to have a sinking feeling about my own behaviour from the night before. What must he think of me? We’d barely kissed and I’d gone down on him like a porno slut – and in front of other people. I felt a hot flush of shame as I remembered it. Of course, at the time, it had seemed the only way to protect myself from being recognized, but maybe I actually was just a filthy trollop.
I stared down at the remnants of my fry-up and my eyes filled with tears. It had all seemed so beautiful and special and pure and now I wondered if it wasn’t all just incredibly sleazy. I felt James squeeze my hand.
‘Hey, Antonia,’ he said, softly. ‘What’s the matter?’
I took a deep breath and forced myself to look up at him. He looked really concerned.
‘Are you OK?’ he said.
I nodded, swallowing. Then I shook my head.
‘What is it? Tell me,’ he said.
‘It’s just – what I did last night – you know, when they came up to the car …?’
‘Yes,’ he said, his eyes twinkling. ‘I think I remember. What about it?’
‘Well, I don’t want you to think that’s something I go round doing to people. In cars. With other people there …’
He smiled at me so kindly and gently, I felt encouraged.
‘In fact,’ I said. ‘I’ve never done it before. Ever.’
James grinned at me and leaned over the table to nuzzle my nose.
‘Well, I’m extremely honoured you chose me to practise on and let me reassure you – you can do it to me any time you want. Seriously though, Antonia, it was a brilliant bit of quick thinking in the circumstances – and it certainly took my mind off the danger we were in.’
He pulled back and looked at me with his head on one side.
‘And I’m glad you brought that up,’ he said quietly. ‘Because I don’t want you to think that last night was a normal occurrence for me either.’
I wasn’t sure what he meant. Did he mean that it was a one-off freak accident that would never happen again?
‘What I’m trying to say,’ he continued, ‘is that it was special for me – it is special for me. I don’t want you to worry about any of that. As I told you, I know all about those shitty guys and what they do to girls in this town and I want you
to know that I am not one of them. I was celibate, by choice, when I met you and it was my choice to break it with you. I haven’t met anyone who makes me feel like you do for a long time.’
I squeezed his hand. I felt totally reassured and all the fuzzy feelings came flooding back again.
‘But …’ he added.
Oh God, I thought, what was he working up to? I knew there was a catch.
‘We’re going to have to be really careful,’ he said. ‘Really discreet.’
I still didn’t understand – was he married? Did he mean we’d have to meet in motels?
‘What are you saying, James?’ I said. ‘Just tell me. If there’s any problem tell me now.’ Before I fall for you even harder than I already have, I thought.
He sighed.
‘You said you knew those guys we saw last night,’ he said, looking serious. ‘Did you know all of them?’
‘No,’ I replied. ‘Only three of them. I know David Maier, Roger Thoro—’
He held up his hand suddenly to stop me, glanced quickly over his shoulder and leaned in closer.
‘Don’t use their full names, Antonia,’ he said quietly. ‘Ever. You never know who’s around – anywhere. What about the other two?’
‘Well, of course I know Frankie you-know-who – he’s my business partner’s husband.’
James looked horrified.
‘Bloody oath,’ he said, under his breath. ‘I had no idea the Dee you talk about all the time was that Dee.’
‘Do you know her?’ I asked.
‘No, but I know who she is. It’s part of what I do to know about these people.’
He looked down for a moment and then back at me with his eyes narrowed.
‘Do you know much about her?’
‘Is this an interrogation?’ I asked, only half joking. ‘And if so, are you the good cop or the bad cop?’
‘I’m a verrry bad cop,’ said James, winking at me. ‘But it’s not an interrogation, I just wondered how well you know her.’
‘Well, we’re business partners, but we’re not super close emotionally, I suppose, because she’s quite shy about all that, but I do spend most days with her. I really like her. She’s a great girl and she has great taste.’
Mad About the Boy Page 19