‘You must be joking,’ I said. ‘I already feel really stupid in this outfit.’
‘You look fabulous. Much more modern.’
He wanted me to wear high-heel sandals, to complete what he called my ‘look’, but I insisted on my old Indian flip-flops for security.
James’s eyebrows shot up when he saw me. He was wearing the same dark jeans and T-shirt he’d worn to dinner.
‘Gosh,’ he said. ‘You look different.’
‘Don’t you like this?’ I asked, uncertainly. ‘Percy made me wear it.’
‘Hmmm?’ said James. ‘Of course I like it, you look gorgeous. You always do. You just look different. Mind you, I am used to you in a sweaty T-shirt and not a lot else.’
The pool hall was above a pub in Darlinghurst. It was dark, dingy and smoky. I couldn’t say it was the kind of place I would have chosen for a night out, but at least my outfit was right. All the girls were wearing very low-slung skirts, or supertight hipster jeans, with tiny little tops – many of them backless – and most of them had pierced navels. Percy was clearly much more au fait with what cool young Sydney women were wearing than I was. And they were all wearing amazingly high heels. I felt like a Tellytubby in my flats.
To my great relief, James held my hand tightly as we walked in. As we crossed the crowded room, weaving our way between the pool tables, I noticed quite a few girls check him out and then look me over very coldly. One or two of them said hi to him and he nodded hello in return, which caused my stomach to clench with jealousy. Were they all his ex-girlfriends? The women he’d slept with before the celibate period?
He stopped and kissed one of them – a particularly tall and attractive blonde in very tight jeans and practically no top, who was chalking the end of a pool cue – and introduced me. She looked at me like I was a used tampon, said ‘Hi’ and turned back to her game.
I was beginning to have an idea how Hugo had made James feel.
We headed for the far back of the room, where there was a corner banquette.
‘That’s our spot,’ said James, squeezing my hand. There was quite a crowd of men and women there already and Spider was sitting in prime position, his back to the wall, surveying the room over his belly and a bottle of beer. A small woman with long dyed black hair, an eyebrow ring like Percy’s and tattoos all over her arms, was sitting next to him. I wished I felt more pleased to see Spider. He had been nice to me that one night, but he wasn’t someone I had ever imagined socializing with.
‘Hey, Jackie Chan,’ said Spider, in the warmest tones I’d ever heard from him. ‘My main man.’ They high fived each other and Spider waddled off to get drinks for us, barely giving me a look.
James introduced me to his friends and, of course, I forgot all their names immediately. They were a mixed bunch, but there seemed to be a lot of dyed hair, a lot of black clothes and silver jewellery and quite a lot of piercing – it was a shame Percy hadn’t come with me, I thought, he would have fitted in perfectly.
They were all friendly enough, although I noticed some of the women looking at me with particular interest, especially when James put his arm round me and pulled me close, kissing me on the forehead. Two of them, wearing the tiny backless tops that seemed to be the uniform of the place, exchanged an unmistakable ‘look’. Mind you, he was the best-looking man in there, I thought, no wonder they were jealous.
What struck me most about James’s friends was how laid back and relaxed they all were. There was none of the frantic competitive conversation I was used to from my old crowd, or even from the new friends Percy had made for us in Sydney. Quite a few of them, like Spider’s lady friend, didn’t say anything at all, just sat there, quietly contemplating their drinks, their cigarettes and the room, seemingly happy to let it all just wash over them.
After a while, Spider and James got up to have a game of pool with a couple of other guys – I’d already told him I didn’t know how to play and it was obvious that this was not the place to learn.
‘Come over and watch,’ said James, so I did. But wherever I stood I seemed to be in the way of someone’s ‘shot’ and James was concentrating too hard to take much notice of me, although he did put his arm around me from time to time. In the end I went and sat down again.
Still at the table was a particularly stoned-looking guy, who had hardly said a word all night, along with Spider’s girlfriend, who I had now established was called Stacey, and the two girls who had exchanged looks over me. They were involved in an animated discussion that patently excluded anyone else and the other two were just gazing vacantly into space. And that was my evening.
The only other moment of note was when the tall blonde we’d seen on the way in, sauntered over to where James was leaning over the pool table and squeezed his bum. It was all I could do not to spring to my feet to punch her out – and I saw the two girls glance at each other and then at me when it happened. They were really starting to piss me off.
I decided just to let it unfold. James had stood up sharply when he felt the touch and turned round smiling – although he looked surprised when he saw who it was. I realized with satisfaction that he had probably thought it was me. The girl was smirking at him, wagging her head like a nodding dog and chewing coquettishly on her little finger.
Spider’s Stacey spoke to me for the first time.
‘Reckon that skinny bitch is making a move on your man, Toni,’ she said, without even looking at me. ‘Are you gonna sort her out?’
I pondered it seriously. I would have liked to have broken a bottle over her head, which was presumably the kind of thing Stacey had in mind, but I didn’t think James would have been impressed.
‘No,’ I said. ‘I’m going to leave it up to James. He seems to know her, he can sort her out.’
The blonde moved closer towards him, sticking out her ample breasts, but I saw with satisfaction that he stepped back and folded his arms over his cue. His face was friendly enough, but I could see from his body language he wasn’t interested. Good. Mind you, the folded arms made his arm and chest muscles pop out divinely. Not good.
‘You trust him then,’ said Stacey.
‘As much as I trust any man,’ I said, slipping into her patois. She turned to look at me appraisingly, taking a big pull on her beer bottle.
‘He’s a bloody good-looking bloke, your James, but I reckon you’re OK,’ she said. ‘Spider says he’s silly about you.’
I was beginning to like Spider more all the time, but my happiness was short lived.
‘So how long have you been seeing James?’ said the prettier of the other two girls, lighting what must have been about her five hundredth cigarette since we’d been sitting there.
I did a mental calculation back to the night at the King George Hospital.
‘About four months,’ I said.
‘Oh,’ said the girl. ‘That must have been right after he stopped seeing Jasmine then. Or nearly, anyway.’ She laughed as though it was the greatest joke.
‘Who’s Jasmine?’ I asked, stupidly.
‘That girl who’s talking to him now.’
Well, that capped my evening off. We all sat and watched the sideshow together, until I was relieved to see James gradually edging further and further away from Jasmine, as I now knew she was. Eventually he had the excuse of his turn at the pool game to move away from her. She sloped off – squeezing his bum again on the way.
I could no longer even keep up the front that I was having a lovely time. I knew I was looking bored and miserable when James finally came back – all smiley because he and Spider had won both games and made $50 each in the process. I couldn’t believe they were playing for money. How tacky.
‘Hey, babe,’ he said, squeezing in beside me. ‘Sorry, I left you so long. I’ll sit this game out.’
Stacey got up to go and stand with Spider at the bar. James looked round to see who else had been with me and I noticed a dark look flash across his face when the two backless-top girls grinned knowingly at him. They got up a
nd went off to the loo and I pulled a face at their bare brown backs.
‘So,’ he said to me. ‘Have you been getting to know Stacey?’
I looked at him in bewilderment. Did he really think Stacey was someone I had anything in common with?
‘Oh yes,’ I said. ‘We’ve been having a very interesting discussion about how best to disfigure women who crack on to your man and your two friends over there have been filling me in on your past love life. How is dear Jasmine?’
‘Oh God,’ said James. ‘Those two are such little stirrers. Jasmine is fine. She’s still blonde. She’s still a wannabe model. She’s still a nice girl. I met her at the gym and I took her out a few times, before I met you, OK? Is there a law against that?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘Except you told me you were celibate before me.’
‘I was, Antonia,’ he said, clearly getting pissed off. ‘Why do you think she’s still harassing me like that? She thinks we have unfinished business.’
‘Do you?’ I knew I was being stupid, as I said it, but I’d had such a boring time and I just couldn’t help myself.
‘OK,’ he said, getting his closed look on. ‘I’ll take you home. I wouldn’t mind shooting some more pool and you’re clearly bored shitless and you’re being really silly. So I’ll drop you off and come back.’
‘Back to Jasmine?’ I said. Why was I doing it? I knew I was behaving like a fuckwit, but hearing she was a model had made it even worse.
James rolled his eyes.
‘For God’s sake, Antonia,’ he said. ‘What soap opera are you getting this from? Do you really think that of me?’
‘No,’ I said. ‘But you’re so damned secretive with me, sometimes I don’t know what to think.’
‘Oh boy,’ he said, running his hand over his head. ‘Reality check number two. James and Antonia go out in public and everything gets fucked up – the sequel. Let’s go.’
We walked out together, but this time James didn’t hold my hand – and of course we had to walk right past Ms Sydney Blonde Beauty, who wished him a cheery farewell.
‘Bye, James honey,’ she sang out. ‘Call me.’
I turned round and gave her the finger. Stacey would have been proud of me.
21
We were silent all the way home. I sat there cursing myself. I knew I had behaved stupidly and I was really hoping I wouldn’t start crying again, because it was getting a bit embarrassing.
When James pulled up in front of the house – or rather a few doors down, a routine I was really tired of – I made to get out straightaway, but he put his hand on my arm.
‘Aren’t you going to invite me in for coffee?’ he said, softly.
I just carried on looking at him, like an idiot. Was this some kind of a joke? He never came in.
He shrugged.
‘I’ve been thinking all the way here,’ he said. ‘Tonight was not the greatest success, but what are we going to do? Just give up again? I came back after the last disaster, Antonia, so I’m not going to give up after one more hiccup. It’s two steps forward, one step back with us, but we’re still going forward. And it’s still early – you’re not usually even at the gym by this time.’
I was still looking at him, amazed. He’d actually turned the engine off.
‘Did you really mean it about coming in?’ I asked.
But he was already unhooking his seat belt. He came round and opened the car door for me.
Percy was still up. He was dressed in his favourite ‘pulling’ outfit, as he called it – the leopardskin jeans and no undies combo. As we walked in he was peering into the hallway mirror applying black kohl pencil to his eyes.
‘Ah, James,’ he said, in an almost normal manly voice, turning round and shaking his hand. ‘How good to see you again. I’m glad you’re back, Antonia, because I’d like to go out myself. I was assuming you wouldn’t be going to the gym after your evening out.’
He smiled at us and picked up his keys.
‘Well, I’ll be off then,’ he said. ‘You can take Tom to school tomorrow, can’t you? OK. Toodle-oo.’
I was speechless for the second time in five minutes. He was being so butch. He hadn’t batted his eyelashes at James once.
James didn’t just stay for coffee – he didn’t even have any coffee – he stayed the night. He was still there when Tom came bouncing in the next morning.
‘Percy’s not there, Mummy,’ he was saying as he ran in. ‘So … Hey, kung fu man!’
He jumped on the bed, in his little pyjamas, striking a Bruce Lee pose, absolutely thrilled to see him.
‘You’ve come to see me at home, James, how nice,’ babbled Tom. ‘And you slept in Mummy’s bed. Daddy used to sleep there. I hope you were comfy. You can always sleep on the spare bed in my room, you know. Would you like some breakfast? I have Cocopops. Do you like Cocopops? Would you like to see my room?’
James fished his underpants off the floor and managed to wriggle into them just before Tom pulled the covers off and he was dutifully dragged off to inspect everything of interest in Tom’s room. I left them to it.
By the time I was showered and dressed they were at the breakfast table. James was still in his undies, but Tom was ready for school. He was having fruit on his cereal, because James did. James smiled at me.
‘Tom says I can take him to school this morning,’ he said. ‘Is that OK with you?’
‘That would be lovely,’ I said. ‘But you might want to get dressed first.’
‘Mummy, please can I have chicken’s breasts for lunch today?’ said Tom. ‘And brown rice with mung seeds in it. Can I?’
‘Well, not today,’ I said. ‘Because we don’t have any, but I’ll buy you some later and you can have them tomorrow. Why exactly do you want chicken’s breasts?’
‘You need a lot of protein to build muscles,’ he said, with the supreme confidence of a seven-year-old who has very recently acquired a new fact.
I made Tom’s usual lunch – white bread Vegemite sandwiches (he liked it better than Marmite, the little traitor), carrot sticks and a tub of peach yoghurt – while he bombarded James with more questions, even following him up to my room when James went to get dressed.
‘Well, we’ll be off then,’ said James, coming back into the kitchen and picking up Tom’s lunch box. ‘I won’t be at the gym tonight,’ he said. ‘I’ve got something on. But I’ll be there tomorrow. I’ll see you there.’
He put his arms round me and kissed me tenderly. Over his shoulder I saw Tom watching with a raised-eyebrow expression I was more used to seeing on Percy. As he and Tom walked out of the door I heard that piping seven-year-old voice again.
‘James,’ he said. ‘Do you love my mummy?’
‘Yes,’ said James. ‘I do.’
‘Oh, that’s good,’ said Tom, taking his hand. ‘So do I.’
I really couldn’t have been happier. I had everything I wanted. The excitement was still there with James, but now it seemed he was prepared for us to lead a more normal life together as well. I just had to let him come round to things at his own pace, I realized.
The trips to the park had come out of nowhere and become a regular thing, so I had no reason to think that staying over wouldn’t become part of our life as well, when he wasn’t working all night at the gym. Best of all, Tom loved him and James didn’t seem to mind. I purred with satisfaction. It was a warm November morning, the jacaranda trees were out all over Woollahra. It was going to be a great summer.
The only thing that marred my happiness was a strange call from Dee that morning at the shop. She didn’t sound herself at all.
‘I won’t be in today, Antonia,’ she said. ‘Actually don’t count on me for a couple of weeks, OK? I’ll call as soon as I know when I’ll be in again.’
‘Sure, but are you all right, Dee?’ I asked. ‘You sound a bit stressed. Is there anything I can do for you?’
‘No, yes, I’m fine, but I just can’t come in for a while.’ She paused and then spoke ve
ry quickly. ‘I’ve managed to get an appointment with a surgeon I’ve been trying to see for over a year. A plastic surgeon. I’m going up to the Silver Springs afterwards to recuperate.’
I was nearly speechless. There was nothing wrong with Dee’s face and I hated the idea of her being sliced open unnecessarily, but it shouldn’t have surprised me really, from someone who had at least two cosmetic treatments a week, not counting the run-of-the-mill manicures, pedicures, blow-drys and waxings, which were as much part of her daily life as reading the paper was of mine.
‘Are you sure you don’t want me to collect you from the clinic, or something?’ I said.
‘No, no,’ said Dee, sounding like she wanted to get off the phone. ‘I’ll be fine. Really.’
‘Well, where is this Silver Springs place? Can I come and visit you there?’
‘No, they don’t let you have visitors, or even phone calls there, that’s the whole point – it’s a sort of health retreat, in Queensland. Really, I’ll be fine. I’m sorry it’s such short notice, Ant, but it’s practically impossible to get in with this guy, so I can’t miss the opportunity. I’d better go – OK?’
‘OK,’ I said. ‘And good luck.’
‘Thanks, Ant,’ said Dee. ‘You’re such a good friend. Oh and don’t forget to ring that man in Orange, he said he has some old hotel china we might be interested in.’
And she rang off. Apart from the odd extended appointments for botox and collagen, Dee had hardly missed a day in the shop since we’d gone into business together, but everybody was entitled to time off – I’d had more than my share after all. For a moment I worried about her and her baffling obsession with perfecting her already gorgeous looks, but then I just got on with my day, which was going to be much busier, now I didn’t have Dee’s back-up.
Between organizing Percy to collect Tom from school, arranging delivery of a consignment of summer stock that was coming on spec from our new agent in Western Australia – a very clever decorator discovered by Dee on a business trip to Perth with Frankie – seeing the man about the hotel china, despatching props for various magazine shoots and serving a non-stop flow of customers, I was run off my feet all day.
Mad About the Boy Page 25