by Jet MacLeod
I sat down on my couch and settled in with a good book. It didn’t take long before the words were blending together and I knew that it was time for me to go to bed. I put the book away and headed to bed.
I lay in the bed, staring out the window. I was too excited to sleep but I was too tired not to. I wanted to get up and sneak into Reece’s room and sleep with him, but I knew that I had agreed with him not to push. I lie there restless hoping that sleep would come soon.
I awoke the next morning with Reece standing over me. He was a welcomed sight with his blue eyes fiercely burning for me. I turned to look out of the window to find it still dark outside.
“It has to be early,” I stated.
“It is. The cock hasn’t crowed yet, but you were making a ruckus in here. I wasn’t sure what was going on, so I decided that I needed to see for myself. Sorry if I woke you or disturbed you, I didn’t mean it,” he said.
“It’s okay. I am glad I woke up to you. I could get used to that,” I said.
I knew that it was a little much for me to say in our new budding relationship, but I didn’t care. I would really love to wake up to those eyes every morning for a great long while. It would even better if I had his arms around me, too. I patted the edge of the bed for him to sit down. He did, after he waited for me to gather enough covers so I could still move beneath his weight on the bed.
“Are you okay?” he asked.
“I guess so. Why do you ask? Reece, you looked worried. What is it?” I questioned him.
“You were screaming. It took me a while to wake you. I thought something was terribly wrong. I surveyed the room and found nothing that could be attacking you. I didn’t know what to do, so I guess I just stared at you,” he explained.
“It is okay. Thank you for checking on me. I appreciate it. But, you said for yourself that there is nothing to worry about, so please calm down,” I told him.
“I will now that I know that you are alright. I was worried. I am sorry. I should have known better,” he replied, shyly.
“There was no way you could have known either way, Reece. Thank you for coming in and checking on me. Don’t apologize for that. I must have been having a bad dream and you woke me from it. Thank you for what you have done,” I stated.
He smiled, slowly, but sweetly, for me. His eyes softened and his trembling lips quieted. His arms fell to his side, defeated and his entire body sighed in relief. He had been worried about me caring about him being in my room so early in the morning.
I reached up and touched his face, consoling him the only way I could. I pulled him down on the bed next to me so I could hold him in my arms and he would understand that I was really okay. He laid down softly with his bulk of weight and height next me, not once fussing. I am sure that it helped him to know I was fine as I held him there on the bed.
“Reece?” I asked.
“Yes, Miss Rayne, what is it?” he questioned.
“Did I say anything to upset while I was asleep?”
“Not really, it was more of really loud whimpers and moans. It was enough to wake me in the other room. I don’t remember you saying anything when I came in, either. I’m sorry, I can’t help you more,” he explained.
“I was just trying to figure out what had you so worried about little old me,” I replied.
“I’m sorry if I scared you, but you scared me,” he said still trying to defend himself to me.
“Stop. You don’t have to defend yourself anymore. I understand why you did what you did. Everything is okay. Calm down, please,” I stated.
I finally felt him relax as he lay there next to me. After a few minutes, I could hear him softly snoring. I lie back with him in my arms and went to sleep, knowing that everything was going to be better now that he loved me.
We woke in each other’s arms as we fit together like we were meant to fit together in each other’s curves. He was warm and smiling at me when I opened my eyes. I could see the relief that he had that I was alright. He was just as happy to be there with me as I was. He leaned down to my face and gave me a kiss on my mouth. Just when I was starting to get into it and I didn’t want him to stop, he did. I gave a pouting lip and sigh in mock protest.
“Good morning, Rayne,” he said.
“Good morning, Reece,” I answered.
“What would you like to do today?” he asked.
“I don’t think that you will let me,” I said.
“Hmm, what is that?” he questioned.
“This,” I replied, leaning in for a kiss.
I held his head to mine as I deepened the kiss. My tongue slipped past his lips and it danced with his. I could hear him moan beneath my lips but I didn’t care. I wasn’t going to let go for anything. I wanted to hold him there next to me for as long as I could. Then when he was gone, I would try to find a way to get him back into my arms again.
He didn’t pull away immediately like he usually did. I was glad for it. I held him there, willing him to go further, but knowing it probably would happen.
My hands sought his out and combed over his body. His hands shot up and grabbed mine, stopping their pursuit. He pulled them between us and held them, firmly, there. I didn’t mind because I loved the feeling of his work hardened hands on mine. It was a true aspect of life to me that I could hold on to and love.
“We should be getting up and starting the day,” he suggested, “But, I could understand if you don’t want to. I am sure that someone will come looking for us, nevertheless. I also have work to do with Silas and the horses. I wish I could stay with you, Rayne, but the ranch can’t wait with the round up coming up so fast.”
“I understand. I don’t have to like it, but I understand. I wish you could stay here with me, but you are right there are things that need to be done before we leave for the round up,” I added.
“I’ll be back for lunch. We can go for a ride. We can go back to the spring if you want,” he said.
“I’ll be waiting,” I answered.
*****
We sat under the trees again. He had just finished another sonnet and I was in bliss. I wasn’t paying attention to the words that he was speaking but more to the sound of his voice. I was laying in his lap while he read the sonnets to me. I thought I might have dozed off once or twice but I would always wake to see his smiling eyes looking at me. I enjoyed every lovely minute of it.
“How’s Silas doing?” I asked when he finished.
“He is learning very quickly. He has actually been out in the pastures with Jed and Juan learning more stuff. Every morning though he tells me about it as if he had everything straight in his head. I keep telling him that he is doing a good job, but he is still seeking praise,” he answered.
“He is just a kid trying to make you proud. You must remind him of his father. I am sure that is the only reason that he is seeking all of your attention and praise. I know that if I was in his shoes I would be doing that as well,” I explained.
“Well, from what I understand, those would be some big shoes for me to fill. I can’t say that I mind that job, I love being with him, but sometimes I wish he wouldn’t look at me like I was his father. I know when I leave it is going to break his heart and I don’t want that, but I can’t see any way around it. He can’t come with me and I can’t stay here. I hate it,” he replied.
“I understand. I hate it, too. I want you to say, but I have come to realize that you are right about your need to leave. I understand it even if I don’t like it. I just wish that it wouldn’t have to take you so long to get back,” I said.
“I don’t know how long it is going to take me, so how can you be worried about it already?” he asked.
“That is just it, I don’t have a timeline and that is what frightens me. I guess I would feel better if I knew that you were coming back and when. But, I can’t and I understand that. It still hurts a little,” I answered.
“I am sorry for that. I wish that you could come with me, too, but there are things that I have to
do. If it will make you feel better, I will do my damnedest to get back here as soon as I can,” I replied.
“It will, but I will still be counting the days. For each day that you are gone, you will owe me a love poem. That seems fair enough payment for leaving me after you tell me that you love me,” I stated.
“I’ll take that. I will do my best to come back to you as quickly as I can,” he stated, his eyes darkening, “I will do what I can. Just remember that I love you and I always will, Rayne.”
“Why do you say it like that?” I asked, worried.
“I love you. I just want you to remember that. It will be our love for each other that will make us come back together as soon as I can get back here to you,” he replied.
He looked upset. His eyes betrayed him. I wondered if he thought that he wouldn’t make it back. I didn’t want to think about that. I wanted him to return as soon as he got there, but I knew that was out of the question. He looked sad, but he smiled at me anyway. I didn’t know what to make of his contradicting emotions.
I wanted to reach up and pull his head down to me in a kiss. I reached up behind his head and cupped it, playing with the shaggy hair that was there. I smiled as I thought about teasing him about it and that he needed to see a barber soon, but decided against it. He looked down at me and smiled, his bright blue eyes smiled with him this time. It was all I could do not to push him back on the blanket and sit across him.
He reached down for me and pulled up, spinning me in his lap, to face him. I sat across his legs, our chests next to each other. I could feel the heat coming off of his body. He shuttered as I wrapped my hands around him.
“I love you, Reece,” I told him.
I felt him tense up around me and then relax. I didn’t know what it was that was bothering him so badly, but I knew that sooner or later he would have to tell me about it. I wouldn’t push him to tell, just because I was relishing in the feeling of having him around me. We both leaned in for the kiss that we were both wanting.
I was amazed at the fierceness in his kiss. It was like he was branding me his own. I didn’t care, he was kissing me. He was kissing me and I was kissing him right back. The kiss deepened, our tongues danced over one another and I wanted so desperately to touch him, but he still held my hands.
He put my hands on his face and pulled me closer to him. Anytime that I would move my hands he would put them back on his face and smile at me. He turned the kiss from my lips to my neck, as he explored the sensitive flesh there on his way to my shoulder. I moaned and leaned into the delicious onslaught of my heated skin.
“Rayne,” he said my name like a prayer.
I didn’t hear myself answer him, but I felt my body give him a response that he couldn’t deny. I could feel the hunger in his arms, the tenderness in his fingers and the wanting in his hands. I was willing but wasn’t sure that he was ready. I leaned away from his body slightly so he could have better access to mine. He took all that offered hungrily with his mouth.
I moaned slightly and leaned further back to give him more. The next thing that I knew it was lying on my back on the blanket and he as next to me, smiling. His eyes were burning with their sapphire blue. He was there next to me, but no on top of me. He just held me and touched me all over without moving my dress.
He smiled at me. I smiled back.
“I love you, Rayne,” he stated.
“I love you, Reece,” I replied.
He hugged me, hard and then released me. He suddenly stood up and gave me his hand. He helped me to my feet and took me to Whiskers. He picked me up and helped me up. It all happened so fast that I wasn’t sure what was happening. He slapped Whiskers back end, which set him shooting across the prairie.
I turned back in my saddle to find Reece still standing under the trees cleaning up from our lunch. He mounted up on Scout and rode off in the opposite direction. I wasn’t sure what was going on, but I was sure that I didn’t like it at all. I couldn’t figure out why Reece would send me home without riding back with me to make sure that I made it back alright.
I dug my heels into Whiskers side, which I am sure she didn’t appreciate at all. I spun her around and dug in once more forcing her into a gallop trying to chase him down. I wasn’t going to let him get away from me that easily or quickly. I didn’t know if this was game or not, but I didn’t like it, not one bit. I chased him down.
Chapter Twenty-Two
Reece, the Double Bar Ranch
I know it was wrong, but I had to get away from her. I was letting my emotions over take my rationale. I could take her and I knew it. I don’t know what I had been thinking but it was the only thing that I could do without ripping her clothes off right there on the blankets. I couldn’t believe that I couldn’t restrain myself around her.
I turned in my saddle to see her following me. I knew what that she wouldn’t give up, either. She would follow me until I gave her enough of a reason not to, and I knew that I could do that. I wasn’t ready to tell her the truth, but then I was still hiding. It wouldn’t do any good anyway.
She was gaining on me but I knew that Scout could keep Whiskers at bay long enough for me to get away. It was foolish and cowardly thing to do, but it was the only thing that I could think of doing. I knew that it had hurt her to do that, but I had to for both of our sakes. She would thank me in the long run.
I stole another glance at her gaining on me. Whiskers was faster than I thought, but I knew that she would never catch me. I didn’t know where I was going, but I was in a hurry to get there. She was too intense for me. I had to get away before I did something that we would both regret in the morning.
I didn’t know if I should stop and let her catch me or if I was going to keep going. I wanted to stop, but something inside me told me to keep running. I wanted so desperately to tell her the truth but I had to admit to myself that I was scared, of her, for her, of me. But, the reality of it was that I was scared that she would hate me for not telling her sooner. I wasn’t sure that I could take that kind of rejection, now that I had fallen in love with her.
“Reece! Where are you going!” she yelled at me.
I kept Scout at a gallop and didn’t slow for her. I heard her finally slow down and give up. I turned to find her sitting there atop Whiskers. I could see she was upset but I couldn’t bring myself to turn around to comfort her. I was upset as well, and my emotions were driving me more than my heart was.
I heard her scream for me again, but I didn’t turn this time. I knew I would hear the end of it when I got back, but I needed this time to deal with my own problems. I wanted to stay on at the ranch and be her man and bet the father that Silas wanted, but I couldn’t. It didn’t matter how bad I wanted to be there for them, I couldn’t be the man for them because I wasn’t a man.
“What the hell am I doing?” I asked myself.
Scout shook his head in response. He was a good friend, but it sucked that he couldn’t talk to me. It was then that I realized how much I missed Thomas James and our talks.
I suddenly pulled Scout to a stop. I thought that I was going to go over his head the way he stopped. I had to hold on to the reins, his mane hair, and the saddle horn to keep from actually flying out of the saddle. He snorted in dismay at my abrupt stop. I can’t say that I blamed him for the look he gave me.
“Sorry about that one, boy. I wasn’t thinking,” I told him.
He shook his head again at me. I dismounted and walked around to pet his muzzle. He let me do it, but protested my riding capabilities. He took the apple that I fished out of my saddle bag with the speed of a rocket. He took the apologetic apple and I could have sworn that he smiled at me. I petted his muzzle again and took the reins from around the saddle horn. I pulled him along behind me as I walked. He followed steadily and didn’t balk at the walk.
I walked with him tagging along behind me for what seemed like hours. When my feet got tired, I saddled back up and let Scout meander wherever he wanted. As the sun finally started
setting, I turned him back to the ranch house. He took the silent command and started his way home. I was glad that Scout was such a wonderful horse and companion.
I began to debate what I would say to Rayne. I was sure that she would have eaten and gone to bed by the time that I arrived back at the house. I figured I would stop by at Cookie’s and get something to eat, knowing he would have leftovers for me. I decided that I would go to Cookie’s and eat and then I would go up to my room and try and sleep. It wasn’t a fool-proof plan but it was the best that I could do.
I rode in and went to Cookie’s. I was right and he had a plate waiting for me. He tried to give me some advice about Rayne, but I wasn’t listening too well. I ate the food that he offered quickly. I didn’t realize that thinking would cause me to be so damn famished. I thanked him for the vittles and then made my way to the barn.
Silas was in there waiting for me. I wasn’t sure what he was still doing there, but he took Scout from me and started to unsaddle him for me. When I saw him lift my saddle off and take it to the tack room, I knew that something was amiss.
“What’s wrong?” I asked him.
“Miss Rayne is pissed as hell at you, Reece. I don’t know what you did, but she took it all out on all of us. We have all been hiding since she came back in, alone. I am sure glad to see that you came back,” he explained.
“Great. I guess I should go up to the ranch house and go to bed. I’ll talk to her about that, in the morning,” I stated to the boy.
“Won’t do you any good to try to sneak in,” he told me, truthfully and with a sadness in his eyes.