by Selena Kitt
Hilda gave me a sly smile. “I was thinking maybe it’s about time you revisited that no dating policy you have.”
I rolled my eyes. “Hilda,” I scoffed. “He’s way too young for me…and…I have Jax. He’s the only man I need—or want.”
“Katherine. Darling. Dear, you deserve to have a nice man in your life. And what could be better than a successful, ambitious young man who owns his own business? He couldn’t be that much younger than you are anyway. I heard he was a navy man as well.”
“Been there, done that, Hilda. And look where it got me.” I sighed.
Hilda reached over and laid one of her soft hands on top of mine. “Not every man is going to treat you like Jax’s father. It’s been two years, dear. It’s time to move on with your life.”
I knew she meant well, but her words frustrated me. As though I hadn’t already done everything to move on with my life—to provide Jax and me with a better future. Wasn’t that why I was working fifty hours a week and going to school? On top of everything else I already had going on? Like changing diapers, washing dishes, keeping the pantry stocked with enough healthy fruit snacks to keep Jax from a meltdown.
“I just want to see you happy,” Hilda said, patting my hand twice before returning it to her cup of tea.
I met her dark brown eyes and held her warm stare for a minute. Of all the people in my life, Hilda was the one who saw me the most. At least twice a day, when I dropped Jax off, and then picked him up, which on days that I had school, was more like four or five times. We spent hours together, watching Jax play at the park with the other kids, having tea while he finished his nap, and we all had dinner together at least once a week. I thought I was happy…well, at least reasonably so, considering everything that had happened over the last few years. But, if Hilda, the one person with a front row ticket to my life didn’t see that, maybe I was the one who was missing something.
Luckily, before I could even begin to untangle that deep, dark, bottomless pit of a question, Jax stirred in the other room and began whimpering. I immediately abandoned my tea to go wrap my arms around him. He melted against me, saying “Mama, mama, mama,” in his sweet, little sleepy voice, and my heart warmed, driving out any doubt of my happiness.
I was happy. Jax was my happiness.
* * *
My self-assurances faltered slightly once I was in the car on the way to school that night. The community college I attended was about half an hour away, and proved—on many occasions—to be the perfect amount of time to get myself worked up over something, and then not reach a resolution before I pulled into the lot. My overactive brain had always been something of a curse and a blessing over the past two years. Before finding out about Mitch’s affair, my mind had been foggy and so focused on baby Jax that everything else had blurred and faded. Only after walking in on Mitch, that day at his office, had my analytical brain kicked back into action—and if I was honest—a little bit of overdrive since then.
Hilda’s words clung to me as I drove. “I just want to see you happy.”
I’d been right, Jax was the center of my universe, and the bright spot in even the darkest days, but maybe—just maybe—Hilda was right. Maybe there was something missing. But was it really something a man would fix? Even though I’d married at a relatively young age, I’d never been able to relate to the type of woman who built her whole life around the hunt, capture, and locking down a good man. Meeting Mitch, falling in love and getting married had felt incredibly natural, not at all forced, and although I’d been happy for many of those years, it had never been the full center of my world. At least, I didn’t think it was. Although, there was a giant hole left behind when Mitch ripped out my heart. It hadn’t fully mended yet, and some days I wondered if it ever would.
I absently rubbed my hand over my chest. I hadn’t been out on a date, or even let myself think about dating, since my marriage imploded. I was too busy moving, finding a new job, and fighting Mitch and his new wife, Hannah, in court. That alone had taken over a year, and when it was all over, another six months just to catch my breath. I had only recently emerged from the darkness and began to find my way again. I didn’t have room, time, or energy for a new man.
The school was approaching quickly, and I flicked on the radio in an effort to clear my head and get in the right frame of mind to be able to concentrate on my professors, not the endless pondering about life. But, despite my best efforts, my mind couldn’t stop pulling back to Hilda’s words, and somewhere along the way, the memory of Jace’s handsome face…
By the time school was over, I raced out to my car, eager to get home. Not only to see Jax and get him to bed, but also to get myself to bed and escape the haunting blue eyes that were embedded in my mind.
Jace
Thanks to the hectic schedule of getting the shop ready for the camera crew, I didn’t get to stop for lunch until nearly three in the afternoon. Which for most days, ended up working out perfectly for two reasons — one, I avoided the lunch rush, which eliminated a lot of the stares and whispers from the townspeople who were apparently stuck in some weird, modern day dark age, where tattoos and piercings were equivalent with witchcraft or devil worship. And two, it meant that Kat was working and with a thinned out crowd of patrons, was forced to spend more time with me, and it became easier with each passing day to get her engaged in conversation about more than the merits of different menu items.
I learned about Kat in little bits and pieces. It started with conversations about movies, TV, and music, but little by little, I could feel her lowering her shield and letting me see a glimpse of the girl behind all the armor. It was in those afternoon visits, that we began to form a camaraderie that expanded beyond the borders of a waitress and customer relationship. By Friday, I’d decided I’d finally ask her out.
It was a little bit after three by the time I was able to get away from the shop and head over across the street, and smiled as I pushed past the doors, and saw that Kat was staring up at the large clock on the wall above the counter, and I told myself she was wondering where I was—her shy smile, and slightly flushed cheeks, when she saw me, confirmed my suspicion, and I smiled back. “Hey.”
“I was beginning to wonder if you were coming or not,” she said.
“Miss me, huh?” I said, flashing a smile her way.
She rolled her eyes, but the red on her cheeks told me that my comment had landed exactly where it was supposed to. “Not exactly, but I have big plans for you today. I didn’t want you to miss out.”
I arched a brow and went to sit at my now regular booth. Kat didn’t hand me a menu like she normally did. “All right, you’ve peaked my curiosity. What’re you up to?”
She smiled and then went to get me my regular iced tea. “Wait and see,” she said, setting down the glass and a straw in front of me.
Before I could ask more questions, she turned away. My eyes followed her, lingering on every curve as she went. She pushed past the kitchen doors and I exhaled sharply. My body tensed, my blood pressure on the rise, thanks to the thoughts of fucking her raging through my mind. There was something about her—everything about her—that I couldn’t get out of my system. She was hot as hell, her body the perfect mix of curves and toned muscles, combined with her long, dark hair and those green eyes…damn. I took a huge gulp of the iced tea, staring over at the wall to get myself under control. Otherwise, I’d be running into the kitchen to do a lot more than ask her out for a date…
Kat reappeared minutes later, holding a plate in her hands. She smiled over at me and my heart jumped into my throat. She was driving me crazy and had no idea. “Ta-da!” She set the plate down and I joined in her smile. “You said the other day that cheese steak was your favorite, and I did say I could sway the cook, so here you go, a new addition to the menu!”
I laughed and shook my head as I stared down at the sandwich. It was a simple thing, a sandwich, and yet, it felt like the best gift I’d ever been given. “Wow. This is great!�
� I looked up and got lost in her sparkling green eyes. “Thank you, Kat.”
She shifted her gaze to her shoes for a moment, just long enough for her dark hair to fall into her face. My fingers ached, wishing I could reach up and brush the strands out of her face. It had been a long time since I’d had the privilege of brushing back a girl’s hair. When our eyes met again, my heart jumped in my throat, and for the first time in my life, I was speechless. Although I knew in my gut, it was time—I couldn’t force the words from my lips.
“You should see what I have saved for dessert,” she said, making me spit my tea out. I could only imagine what kind of dessert she was talking about. She must’ve realized what she’d said because not even a split second later, a deep maroon color burst onto her cheeks and she hurried away without another word. Was she flirting with me? I couldn’t stop smiling as I dug into the sandwich she’d had specially prepared for me.
When she came back to clear my plate, I was ready. After expressing further appreciation of the sandwich, I cleared my throat and started, “Hey, Kat, I have a question for you.”
Her green eyes bobbed to mine and her body tensed. “Okay…”
“How about I take you to dinner this weekend?”
Kat’s eyes went wide and she sputtered, “I, uh—I can’t. Sorry.”
“You have plans?” I prompted.
She shook her head. “No, not exactly. I just, really…it’s complicated,” she finally admitted with a sigh.
I smiled at her. “Life is complicated, Kat. Dinner isn’t.”
“Right.” She tucked a loose strand of hair behind her ear. “Jace, there’s something you don’t know about me.”
A flash of disappointment ran through me as I stared up into her green eyes that were now dark with worry. “What is it?” I asked gently, praying she wasn’t about to tell me she was married or something.
She glanced around the nearly deserted diner and then sank down onto the bench seat opposite the table from me. She kept her hands folded in her lap, and didn’t meet my eyes for a moment. “I have a son. He’s three years old, his name is Jaxson, Jax for short, so…” she confessed, finally meeting my gaze halfway through.
I processed the information, immediately picturing a mini-me of Kat, with her dark hair and striking green eyes. I’d never dated a single mom before, but it certainly wasn’t out of the question. Especially if that mom was Kat. I smiled at her. “That’s awesome, Kat. I bet he’s an amazing little guy.”
“He is,” she answered, her face breaking into a giant smile. Her love for her son radiated through her and in that moment, I realized I’d never been so attracted to her. I wanted to lean across the table and take her lips with my own, leaving her breathless, but with a smile just as wide.
“My offer still stands, you know,” I said after a pause of taking in the moment.
She looked puzzled. “Really?”
“Yeah, of course! Why would you having a son change anything? If you can find some time for me, I’d love to take you out.”
Kat arched a brow at me, carefully turning the question over in her mind as she stared me down. I looked down at my arm, wondering if she’d somehow hooked me up to a lie detector test and was simply waiting for the results. Finally, she sighed and nodded. “Okay.”
“Okay?”
She smiled. “Yeah. Why not, right?”
“I’m flattered,” I replied with another laugh.
Kat giggled and it was the most beautiful sound, like a gentle melody that soothed and excited me all at once. “You know what I mean.”
I nodded, still smiling. “How about tonight?” I asked, wanting to lock it down before she changed her mind and ran for cover.
Her expression shifted, somehow darker, as though she just remembered something unpleasant, and my heart raced, waiting for her reply. “Tonight won’t work…I have to, uh—Jax stays with his dad on the weekends,” she said, each word jerking from her like it was physically painful to say.
“Oh,” I replied, wishing I could soothe her pain.
She blinked rapidly a few times and I noted her eyes were glossed over as she stared past me. “I have to drop him off at his house tonight. And after that…I’m just not really up for it. Sorry.”
“Whoa, don’t apologize. I get it—well, as much as I can, anyways. How about tomorrow then? It’s your day off, isn’t it?”
She took another moment, staring at the table, and then brought her hands together and looked back up at me. “Yeah, tomorrow is my day off. How’d you know that?”
I smiled. “Covert operations, my dear.”
She looked at me and smiled. “Stalking?”
“No, not stalking, I’ve been here a few weeks ya know. I do notice when you’re not here.”
“Oh, right. Well, I normally go grocery shopping and attempt to clean the house on my day off, but I’d love a distraction,” she answered, giving me a faint smile.
I leaned in closer, dropping my voice to a gruff whisper, “Then you’re in luck pretty lady—distraction is one of my specialties.”
Kat
The impending date with Jace carried me through the rest of my shift on Friday as though my feet were made of patches of clouds. No matter how annoying my boss was, or how many customers tipped me poorly—I didn’t notice at all. Everything was perfect—until I got home…I picked up Jax from Hilda’s house and got him set up with a PB&J sandwich in the dining room, and sat down to check my phone. My heart froze as I saw Mitch had called three times…and left a voicemail…I dialed my voicemail and sat perched on the edge of the couch, waiting for his voice to start.
“Where the hell are you?” His message boomed. “I told you, at least a dozen times, that Hannah and I have a dinner tonight and need Jax dropped off at four. But you can’t follow simple instructions like that, can you? It’s four thirty right now. Where the fuck are you Katherine? Call me back now!”
The air from my lungs burst out of me in a louder than intended, “Shit!” My hand flung to cover my mouth, praying that Jax hadn’t heard me over the cartoon show he was watching on my computer. “Oh my God,” I whispered. I checked the time, it was now five o’clock and I’d forgotten all about dropping Jax off early.
With trembling fingers, I dialed Mitch back and stepped out onto the balcony while the other line rang. God, why does he have to be so evil? He was never this hateful before. “You better have a good fucking reason why you’re not here,” Mitch growled, not even bothering with a proper greeting.
I pressed my eyes closed. “Oh my God, Mitch, Calm down. I got off work late and I…I forgot,” I admitted. “I’ll be there in thirty minutes. He’s eating dinner right now.”
“It’s too late, Katherine. The dinner has already started, at this rate we’ll be at least two hours late, if we manage to get there at all. You did this on purpose! You’re always undermining Hannah and me. This night was important to us, and you fucked it up! Again! Why do you insist on being so vindictive? Can’t you let me go?” Mitch fumed. “I have half a mind to call the court and see about revisiting our agreement.”
The ice that had flooded my veins when I’d seen the missed calls, burst into flames. “It was a fucking mistake.” I said through gritted teeth. “That’s all. I’ll pack the baby up and be there as soon as I can. But you are going to be civil. If you scream at me like that in front of Jax one time, I’ll take him right back home and call the court myself!” I hissed into the phone.
“Just get here,” Mitch dismissed, swiftly clicking off the call.
“Asshole.”
I hurried to get Jax and Mickey packed into the car and sped across town to Mitch and Hannah’s gargantuan home, barely able to keep myself happy and soothing as we drove, singing Jax’s favorite song to keep him calm. He hated getting dropped off at Mitch’s house. “It’s okay, sweetheart, mama will be back in two days. You’re going to stay here, with daddy,” I cooed, trying to stop his tears before my own kicked into gear.
Mit
ch came over and scooped Jax into his arms. “He’ll be just fine. Won’t you Jaxy?”
I hated every second of this process. When we had first started these drop-off weekends, everyone had assured me it would get easier over time—but two years in and it was still torture—every single time. I squeezed Jax’s hand as he stared at me, his big brown eyes filled with tears. “You’ll have so much fun. And Mickey’s here too,” I said, pointing over at the Golden Retriever who was right at home already, running around with a stick from the front yard.
Hannah appeared, looking the same as she had when I’d found her in the closet inside Mitch’s office the day my world had crumbled, and she smiled over at me for a second, before taking Jax from Mitch’s arms. My stomach rolled as she carried him away from me and into the house.
“Enjoy your weekend, Katherine,” Mitch said, the formality sounding odd, and stilted. He’d always called me Kat, but had taken to using my full name since we split. I figured it was at Hannah’s request.