by RM Walker
“It will. If I’m estranged, if I left, his moral reputation will stand up.”
“Unless it gets out about his whores,” Josh pointed out.
“Paid off, every one of them.” Matt leant his head against the counter.
“You know where we stand through this,” Nate said.
Matt looked at him and then the twins. “Thanks.”
“Don’t hit me,” Josh warned.
Matt tilted his head in question.
“Are you sure you know what you’re doing? This isn’t like their arguments, where you’ll go back tomorrow morning and it’ll be like nothing happened.”
“I know,” he acknowledged. “It really fucking hurts. I know I’m burning a bridge I may never get back again. It scares the shit out of me, but at the same time, walking out of there, coming here to you, to Lily? I know I’ve made the right decision. I can’t give any of you up, I won’t. There’s so much unhappiness in that house, always has been. The only time I’m happy is with you three, when I’m with Lily, or I’m on my own somewhere, anywhere but there.”
“We get through this last year together, the five of us. We get through whatever shit is going down in the other room and we stick together. No one gets between us, no one.” Nate’s voice was firm.
“Agreed. We need to get this bond with her done,” Jake said. “Although we guess going away depends on what Jonas tells us.”
“And what the almighty Dark Lord makes of what Jonas says,” Nate drawled.
“And whatever the fuck was going on with her. We swear that girl needs to figure out a warning for us. Scared the ever-loving hell out of us,” Josh said.
Matt remembered the angle of her head when he’d walked in. Horrific didn’t cover it. He’d see that for a while when he closed his eyes at night.
“Well, at least life with her will never be boring,” Nate said with a laugh.
“As long as she tones down the horror movie effects,” Jake said. “We don’t think we’ll ever get used to it. We half expected something to come crawling out of the telly.”
“Mrs J’s telly?” Nate laughed. “The only thing that’ll crawl out of there is woodworm.”
A shriek followed by a thump had Matt scrambling to his feet, along with the others.
“If her head is on backwards, you can deal with her, Nate, we’ll wait back here,” Jake muttered.
“Cowards,” Nate teased
“You didn’t see her,” Matt replied.
“We won’t let him win.”
Lily sat up, rubbing her sore nose. “What happened?”
Drew appeared in her line of sight as he crouched in front of her. “You took a nosedive from the sofa.”
“That would explain the pain,” she muttered. “Why are we here?”
“What can you remember?”
She sat up as she struggled to think. She remembered getting the box, spiderzilla under the bed, and then the vision. “I was there again. Always there.” She rubbed at her shins, her gaze on the pattern of the carpet.
“There?” Drew asked.
“Always somewhere dark, night time. It’s windy, pouring with rain and someone’s always itching to burn me.”
“Any difference this time?” Nate asked, coming to sit beside her. Matt sat on her other side and the twins knelt in front of her.
“Just these hooded cloaked figures holding torches. Y’know, the fire kind, not the battery type.”
“Did they say anything?” Jake asked.
“Yeah, the usual, I’ve been judged, found guilty, blah, blah, blah.”
“No.” Drew spoke sharply, and she stared at him. “No, Lily, not blah, blah, blah. What did they say, word for word?”
“Oi! Give her a break,” Jake snapped. “How would you like to get burnt regularly?”
“I wouldn’t. But she isn’t either. It doesn’t happen, it’s a vision, not a repressed memory. Well, at least not her repressed memory.”
“It was the same as always.” Lily didn’t want any arguing. “They judged me and—” It hadn’t been the same. Yes, she was chained to a stake, but there was more this time.
“It’s okay.” Nate placed his hand on her thigh. “Take your time.”
She played the memories out in her head and realised something. “I knew it wasn’t real, that it was a vision. And I was so angry, I’ve never been angry before, only scared. They were going to burn me until there was nothing but dust which they’d scatter at a horse called Mort.” She frowned at Drew. “Why would they scatter me to a horse?”
“They actually said horse?” He gave her a funny look.
“Well, I think they said mare. That’s a horse.”
“Mare Mortuos. Not a horse, but a place, Sea of the Dead.”
“What else did they say?” Nate prompted her.
“That was it really. I was so angry when they set fire to me that I broke the chains and—” She remembered with clarity what she’d done, and bile rose in her throat.
“What? What happened?” Matt slid his hand onto her back.
She looked at him, stricken. “I burnt them. I threw the fires of hell at them. I couldn’t control—no. I could control it. I did control it, I wanted them to burn.”
Nate squeezed her thigh. “Not you, Lily. It wasn’t you.”
“He’s right, you’re a seer, you see visions of other people,” Josh said.
Lily frowned. “Seer. I’m a seer. There was something else! Someone inside my head; said I wasn’t listening, that I was a watcher, a seer—”
“And a listener,” Drew finished for her. “You’re beginning to take control over your visions. It’s a good sign, Lily. You were able to identify you were having a vision. That voice in your head was you.”
“What does it mean then? Who was I? And I really need to work on not fainting after one.”
“Not yours to understand. See, watch, and listen.” Jonas’ voice was muffled as if he had something stuffed in his mouth. “But need to work on fainting,” he slurred.
“He’s right. Your job isn’t to understand them, or traditionally it’s not.” Drew looked at Jonas. “I think she saw the Council, and that’s why the details are unclear as to what they looked like.”
Jonas didn’t reply, just nodded his head.
“Can we also work on the creepy positions?” Josh asked.
“Creepy positions?” Drew inquired.
“She was on her knees, her head back at an angle that was just—” Jake shuddered.
“Worthy of a horror film. I half expected her to crawl backwards up the wall.” Matt sent her an apologetic look.
“Did you see her eyes?” Drew demanded.
“Why?” Lily’s heart leapt into her mouth at his urgency.
“No, nothing really. Just wondered if they were open or closed.” He smiled at her.
“I couldn’t see her face from my angle,” Matt said. “I’d only got there as she was screaming on her knees.”
“We didn’t see either,” Jake said. “Too busy trying to not piss ourselves, especially when you fainted, and we couldn’t wake you up.”
“I’m sorry,” she said.
“Not your fault.” Matt’s thumb stroked circles on her lower back, relaxing her.
The twins kissed her cheeks. “No, not your fault.”
She closed her eyes, letting the closeness of them flow through her. It was over, it wasn’t her, she hadn’t burnt anyone. She knew it wasn’t her.
“It wasn’t me,” she blurted.
“We know that, babe,” Jake said.
“No, I mean I wasn’t there. They weren’t my hands. She wore a ring, like yours”—she looked at Drew—“but different, the snake had green eyes and—”
“Hestia!” He whipped around to look at Jonas. “Definitely the Council.”
“Who’s Hestia?” Lily asked.
“Greek Goddess of hearth, home, architecture, and the right order of domesticity,” Josh said. “Also known as the Goddess of fire—”
“Your Greek mythology is spot on,” Drew cut him off. “But Lily wasn’t a goddess. Hestia is one of the Council.”
“She’s going to get burnt, but instead burns?” Lily frowned. “That doesn’t sound good.”
“No, especially as we don’t know who the hooded figures are.” Drew’s face twisted in concentration, before smoothing out almost instantly. “Okay. Who’s hungry?”
“Hungry?” The sudden change of subject threw her.
“Yes, hungry.” He smiled at her. “There’s not a lot we can do until we can listen to Jonas. Add in the fact visions are sometimes metaphors and there really is nothing to do but wait.”
“He’s right,” Jonas slurred.
“How many times, old man? Stop talking unless it’s life or death.” Drew rolled his eyes, sending him an impatient look.
Jonas flicked two fingers at him and Lily burst into explosive giggles. “Sorry, sorry, that wasn’t funny, but it was just so unexpected from you,” she said to Jonas.
He couldn’t smile, but she saw the light of humour in his eyes.
“Going back to more important things,” Jake interrupted. “We’re hungry.”
“I’ll order pizza.” Drew looked over at Jonas. “Soup? Yogurt?”
Jonas shook his head in regret and closed his eyes, leaning back in his chair.
“All right. But if this takes too long, I’ll force you to eat. You can die after you tell me everything, not before.”
“Oi!”
“Dad! You can’t say that.”
He raised an eyebrow at her. “He’s no help if he’s dead. Now, each of you grab a few books. We’re looking for anything that mentions bindings, curses to do with the tongue, voice, or talking. Anything that jumps out at you. Chop, chop, we might have all night, but I’d rather sleep in my own bed if I can.” He went to the desk, pulling his phone from his pocket.
“Yes, sir,” Matt muttered, rolling his eyes.
“Told you, Drew will do, but I can work with sir from you four.” He looked sideways at them, a smirk tugging his lips. “Sir or master.”
“How about Sir Git or Master Moron?”
Lily nudged Nate sharply with her elbow, sending him a glare. He smirked at her, running his tongue along his bottom teeth.
“Oh, and any curses you find about total severance of vocal cords would be good too,” Drews said.
“He’s going to lose his vocal cords too?” Lily looked at Jonas in horror.
“No. That’s for me to use on your illustrious leader and his merry band of morons.”
“Oh, for goodness sake. You’re all as bad as each other.” Lily got up to get some books.
“Lily, we need to talk to you for a minute in private.” Nate caught her attention and they led her from the room.
“Don’t be too long. They won’t look through themselves,” Drew shouted as Nate shut the door behind them.
“Sorry, Lil, but that man’s a monster,” Josh said as they led her upstairs to a room that she guessed to be theirs when they slept over.
A double bed, two camp beds, a wardrobe, and a dresser just about squeezed in the tight space. The room was as Victorian as the rest of the house. Pictures hung from the picture rails, gas lamps between them. Heavy burgundy velvet curtains surrounded the bay window, held in place by matching tiebacks.
“What’s wrong?” Lily sat on the end of the double bed and bounced a little when it gave under her.
Matt leant against the dresser, crossed his ankles and folded his arms. His hair was messier than normal and needed cutting as it fell into his eyes. The twins sat on the camp beds and Nate lay on his stomach beside her.
“I don’t know where to start,” Matt admitted. “Nate, you’re better at this, you do it.”
“You sure?” Nate asked.
“Yeah.” Matt nodded.
Nate got up and went to Matt’s side. He stood so close they were pressed together, and it reminded her of the twins.
Matt didn’t look away from the carpet, and Lily didn’t look away from Matt. Her pain for him grew with each word from Nate’s mouth. This was different, this was much bigger, more serious than disliking his choice of girlfriend. This was an ultimatum that she couldn’t put on him.
Nate finally finished, and no one spoke, the atmosphere was thick with anger, sadness and betrayal.
“Matt, I...” She swallowed.
Matt lifted his head, and the intensity in his eyes made her heart flip.
“Don’t.” He shook his head, not breaking eye contact with her. “Don’t you say what you’ve got written all over your face. Don’t you dare, don’t you fucking dare.”
Nate pushed himself away from the dressing table as the twins got up and they went out, shutting the door behind them.
“Matt, I—”
“No. Don’t.”
“This isn’t just going to go away. They’re your family.”
“You are. They are.” He pointed at the door, before stalking towards her. “Don’t you throw me away too.”
“I’m not throwing you away.” She scooted up the bed as he advanced towards her. She held her hands up. “Listen to me. Just listen to me.”
He knelt on the foot of the bed, folding his arms. “Go on.” The pain was replaced with anger.
“If you walk out now, you lose everything—”
“I—”
“Hear me out, please,” she begged him, and he nodded.
“You’ll lose your allowance, your Land Rover, the support you need to go to uni, you’ll lose your parents, Matt, your mum. You don’t even know if she knows what he’s said yet. I hate your dad for doing this to you, I hate him for doing this to us, but I can’t be the one you give it up for. It’s one thing to try and get them to accept it, but he’s kicking you out, Matt, kicking you out, disowning you. This isn’t going to go away tomorrow, or the next day. This isn’t heat of the moment, this is real.” She wiped away tears from her cheeks. “I love you so much. But I can’t cause you pain because of it.”
“Say you love me again.”
“I love you, Matt. But you might grow to hate me when you realise what you’ve given up—”
“Shut up.”
“What?”
He crawled up the bed. “Shut up.”
He pushed her onto her back and nudged her legs apart with his knees. He crawled over her until his forearms lay either side of her head.
“Keep quiet and listen to me.” His warm breath fanned over her face. “I refuse to lose my cousins, and I refuse to lose you—”
“But—”
He covered her mouth with his palm and whispered into her ear, “He didn’t kick me out, I walked out. I could stay till I finish college, but what’s the point? I can’t have you over there. I can’t have them over there without you. I won’t give them up, and I won’t give you up. It hurts, it hurts like a fucking bitch, but it hasn’t destroyed me because I have them and I have you. You want to tell me that if we break up, I can move back home, play happy families with a father who doesn’t give a damn about me. If we broke up, Lily, would you stay with my cousins?” He slid his hand from her mouth into her hair.
She closed her eyes, knowing where he was going. She’d have to sever all ties with them. She couldn’t be with them, knowing he was there, that she was so close to him and unable to be his too. A sob broke free, and he sighed, his full body weight sank onto her and she wound her arms around him, cradling him against her. She stroked her hands through his hair and down his back, trying to absorb his pain, wanting to take it away from him.
“I love you, Matthew Ethan Crowder, I will never let you go or leave you.”
He made no sound as he shook in her arms. His grip in her hair tightened, his other hand held the top of her head, tucking her in as close as he could.
“I’m too heavy,” he mumbled, his voice thick with tears she knew he was trying to hide.
She tightened her hold on him. “You aren’t. It feels right.” It wa
s as close as she could get to him without dragging him under her skin.
“Promise me you won’t let him win.”
She turned her head, her mouth almost brushing his. “I won’t let him win, I promise.”
“And we all stay together,” he whispered.
“And we all stay together.” She closed her eyes, pressing her lips against his. He rolled them until she was lying on top of him. He claimed her lips again, his hands moving to her hips. She thrust her hands into his hair and kissed him with every emotion she had for him.
When the need to breathe broke them apart, she stroked her hands over his face and sat up, her hands resting on his chest. “I am sorry, Matt. It’s not fair what he’s making you do.”
“It’s not your fault, or mine. He shouldn’t love me only if I do what he wants.”
“I don’t know how to make this better for you.” She stroked her hands over his shoulders and down his arms to catch his hands. He gripped her fingers, sat up, and pinned her hands behind her back.
“You already have.” He held her gaze, his hair falling into his eyes. “You, those crazy brothers of mine downstairs, we’re a family now. Will you bond with us, Lily? On All Hallows Eve, when the veil is thinnest, and the blood moon is full.”
She rested her forehead against his. “Yes, I will bond with you.” She kissed him and then kissed him again.
Are we human?
Jonas held out a mug, and Lily took it with thanks. The clock showed three in the morning, and soft snores came from the twins, propped against each other on the sofa. Nate was next to Josh, his head back, book open on his lap and grunts coming from his mouth. Matt was squashed in beside him, his head on Nate’s shoulder, a patch of drool where his mouth rested.
“Lightweights,” she said as Jonas sat in the armchair opposite hers.
He indicated where Drew was passed out at the desk, his cheek on a book, his glasses crooked.
She grinned, and Jonas winked at her, before picking up his book. She took a sip of coffee and dived back into her book. It wasn’t what they were looking for, but she was hooked on the history of dragons, and the brave group of dragon-riders who’d almost died out themselves, trying to protect them from hide hunters. She’d read about the demise of the wolves from Britain, the way water kelpies were pushed from the lochs of Scotland towards the frozen Arctic just to survive. How pixies and brownies had retreated to their lairs underground, rarely coming up in case they were caught by humans. She read about horrific acts inflicted on fae, witches, imps, and all because most humans feared what they didn’t understand. And what people feared, they hunted. Of all the supposed monsters she’d read about, humans were the only ones who could truly claim the title of Monster.