“Thanks, Justin” I hugged him tight against me. “I love you like a brother.”
Pulling my face close to him, he kissed my forehead tightly, then pushed me back far enough to look to my eyes. “I love you too, Baby girl.”
At times I wondered if I would've dated Justin if I met him before Davien, but I remembered my saying that I always said. 'Things happen for a reason'. There really was an attraction between the two of us. We both knew it and we both fought that same temptation, but I would never take it where it didn't need to go. I wondered why he pushed me so hard to have to fight my feelings. My words came out before I gave myself enough time to think. I held that same thought in for weeks after weeks and I was ready to release myself. “Justin can I ask you something?”
“What's up, Baby girl?” His innocent eyes looked just as guilty as I felt.
“If I hadn't started Davien so soon, d-d-do you think we would have dated? Do you feel it too?” I stuttered at my words.
His head dropped and stood quiet, his hand covered his mouth as he nodded his head softly. When his eyes finally looked at me, they were teary. “Yeah, Baby girl, I know we would have.” I brushed a slight tear from his eye as he stared at me with the same mixed emotions that ran through my veins. It really was true, we both had the exact same feelings. “I do feel it, a lot.”
“Why do you do this to me then?” I placed my hand over my heart and then over his chest. “Why, Justin?”
“I don't know? Guess it's as close as I'll ever get.” He bit his bottom lip as he let the truth out that neither of us wanted to ever hear.
“I love Davien so much and you know I would never cheat on him.” He nodded his head with agreement.
“I know you wouldn't. Ever!” We both shook our heads at the same time. “And I know he wouldn't either. He's a good guy.”
“You're killin' me though, Justin. You're more than just a friend, more than a brother. I can't fight the feelings I have towards you. But I can't and I won't. I just want you to know that.” He wrapped his wrists around my neck as my face fell to his neck. He smelled delicious, a man I could easily love, but not as much as Davien.
“It's killin' me even more.” His mouth dropped to my neck as he nibbled his one and only taste he would ever get from me and I allowed it just to fight this feeling. To get it over with. The mutual temptation needing to be relieved. I wanted to stay there forever to hold that feeling, but the feeling just wasn't right. It wasn't what I had for Davien, I just knew it.
Looking over my shoulder to the kitchen, Justin took another glance from our view and ran his fingers through my hair, gripping me tight as he held my lips to meet his. I kissed him back, then as the feeling traveled down my body, I finally released our bodies after long seconds. “I can't, Justin.” He nodded in agreement. “I needed that though.” Oh how I needed it. Relief dropped from my chest as if it was the first time I had taken a full breath in months.
“We both did, Baby girl.” He smiled devilishly. “I just needed to test my friendship with Davien. I have to say I'm a jealous man. He's got a good one.” I held both of his hands and we slowly pulled apart.
“You're a good guy, Justin. And you're a great friend to Davien.” I wiped Justin's final tear from his eye and then brought that same finger to brush my last tear away as well. “I love you, Justin.”
His lips spoke as softly as Davien's sometimes did. “I love you too, Baby girl.” We both knew what that 'love' meant. We weren't in love how Davien and I were, but we loved each other, like family or a true friend would. He sighed as we looked back to the kitchen. “I'm glad he came first though. He's an awesome guy.” Justin smiled a large grin.
We gave each other one last intimate look before returning to our group. Laughing, I finally asked .“So how much money is there anyways?”
He looked amused by my question. “Enough.”
Scott was leaning against the counter as he held Natalia from behind. Davien stood alone. I felt a sudden pain of guilt, but it passed quickly as I remembered that I was only relieving myself, relieving both of us. More than anything I was relieving my loving relationship with Davien. I needed that to prove to myself that even though the feelings were mutual between Justin and I, it wasn't meant to be. I could move on and we could still be amazing friends. Even that innocent, yet guilty flirtatious friendship we had. We knew it wouldn't go any further anymore.
Davien stood patiently waiting for me. His eyes lit up when I wrapped my arms around his neck. Lacing my fingers together, I looked around his shoulder and spot Justin. He shot me a wink and nodded his head as he smiled towards me. I winked back “Everything okay?” I nodded as I looked to Davien. “You find out how much money you got?”
“I was just told... it's enough.” Davien smiled as he reached for the same lips that Justin had just touched. I wanted to pull back, but this was the the man that I truly loved. The man that cared about me more than anything in the world.
Loud steps came from the stairs as Vince threw the door open. We all stopped our conversations and looked to the new couple. Vince looked around the room smiling at the group. “What?” We all chuckled. Khloe stood behind him, keeping her head hid slightly. “What the hell?” The guilt was in the laughter of his voice.
Davien dropped his arms from me and walked to Khloe, pulling her to the front of Vince. He used Vince's arms and wrapped them around Khloe. Vince moved to the same position as Scott and Natalia, with his arms wrapped possessively around Khloe. Davien of course cleared the obvious. “Hope you guys cleaned up my damn man cave. Thank God I locked my bedroom... that's for me and Avery only.” Davien returned to me and swung his arm over my shoulder, pulling me tightly against his side. “No other woman has ever laid on that bed and no one else ever will.” We both exchanged smiles towards each other.
Every guy in the kitchen had a partner except for Justin. Which left me to feel guilty since it was Justin's night that we were celebrating. I pulled Davien across the room as we walked to Justin's side. Holding Davien's hand, I stood next to Justin and I pat the palm of my free hand to Justin's back. “Good fight Justin.”
He looked down on my smiling face as I held Davien close. “Thanks, Baby girl.” Justin said.
Davien nudged his chest with his free hand, never leaving mine, “Yeah, good job, Bro. That was the best I've ever seen you. Guess my girl really is your lucky charm.”
With pride in his smile and not a drop of guilt after our relief. “Yeah, you got a good one. Don't let her go man.” They both nodded their heads with agreement.
A few months ago, I had a man that thought he cared about me, then I found a man that loved me, now I had a man that wished he could have me, but wanted his friendship more. And I wanted Davien more than anything possible. I had dropped the man who thought he cared about me and gained a group of friends that I didn't know was here. In the last few months I had person after person telling me that things will get worse before they get better... but I think I was at the best possible. I loved this group at a level I didn't know even existed.
Natalia ended up spending the night with Scott and Vince walked hand in hand out the door with Khloe. Since she rode with Natalia I was assuming she wasn't returning home. Vince seemed more happy than I had ever seen before. But I still felt bad for Justin. He was one of the greatest guys I had ever come across and he was going home alone. Vince and Khloe had already made it out the door and Davien was already jumping in the basement shower.
I stopped Justin at the door. His eyes looked hurt when I yanked his arm back. “I'm sorry Justin.” My eyes swelled with tears.
“No, Baby girl,... I'm sorry.” He covered his eyes with both hands and ran his hands backwards through his buzz cut. “It should have never gone that far.”
“We had to. We needed it.” I reminded him. “You deserve a good girl... she's out there.” I pat his shoulder.
“Yeah, I know.” His head dropped from shame. “I hope she's like you.”
“Me
too. I hope she's better.” I smiled at his moist eyes.
Wiping his tears away, “Don't break his heart, Baby girl.”
I shook my head “I won't, Justin.” I whispered as I fought that familiar feeling. “He's too good.”
Before stepping from the door, Justin left one last emotional kiss to my cheek. “Good night, Baby girl.”
I waved as I closed the door. With a heavy sigh, I turned the kitchen light off and walked the steps to the basement. Davien was in the shower singing like always, instantly putting a huge grin on my face. I looked at the messy pillows on the couch and shook my head. Obviously Vince and Khloe had opened up to each other in one way or another. They looked super cute together and I saw them as a great couple.
Slowly opening the bathroom door, I inhaled the luxurious scent of my Davien. Although I crept in, he still heard me and peeped from the side of the curtain. “Everything alright, Avery?”
I didn't respond, but he smiled as I sat on the closed toilet and slowly nodded my head as I smiled back to him. He crooked his finger for me to join him, his grin covering his entire face as I agreed. As I undressed myself, I looked at his body that shimmered with drops of water. Water that I was jealous of. It ran in places that I could dream of all day. His well defined arm pulled the curtain to the side as the stream released from the shower.
Stepping in, his hand immediately wrapped around my body, pulling me hard against his drenched body. I loved the feeling of his wet body covering my dry, bare skin. He covered my body possessively with his mouth instantly at my neck. “Can I sing to you tonight?” I nodded my head with the vibrations of my moves running to his tempting lips. “What do you wanna hear?”
“Something that reminds you of me... our relationship.” I answered. The water falling from the shower was washing away my guilt. Davien loved me so much and I couldn't imagine betraying him. I loved him even more. I had betrayed one man, but Anthony was different and Davien was clear that he wouldn't allow it until I was single. That intensified the guilt. I reminded myself over and over for the last hour that the moments I shared with Justin were relief only. I repeated those words over and over.
“Somethings wrong, Avery. I can feel the tension tonight.” He looked at my face searching for answers.
Speaking clearly, I begged. “Sing to me, Davien. Tell me how you feel. Remind me about our love for each other. I need to hear it.”
I didn't know what Davien was thinking to his self. He had sensed the tension. He was quiet for long moments as he pulled one of my thighs above his hip, guiding me against his swollen excitement. His free hand moved between my thighs to tease me and release my strains. I moaned against his chest and begged for more touch. “I love you, Avery.” He spoke into my crook of my neck as he nibbled at my body.
“I love you more, Davien.” I replied as I reached for his growing erection. I could hear from the vibrations of his groans that he was waiting for my touch. He was begging for his needs. He moved my limp body backwards until he had me pinned against the wall. His eyes were on fire as he teased my swollen nerves.
Davien had such a unique voice, I couldn't compare him to a single artist. But a familiar sound repeatedly played in my car and he knew it reminded me of him. It was as close as I could hear. The words to those songs sounded like Davien had begged someone to write the lyrics just for us. With a smile across his voice, he comforted me with his words as I watched his lips. He began singing 'It Will Rain' by Bruno Mars. It really was meant for us or at least that's what I told myself. Davien only chose songs that filled his lips with his thoughts. Was there really any other man that could do that. To not only come up with the words as he was thinking quickly, but to match them to a song as well. Never skipping a single word. Many songs started with a story that I wasn't familiar with, a story that wasn't ours, but it always ended with the same as the relationship I shared with Davien. I just knew it, he knew it.
The entire song was ours though. From beginning to end and I wondered if he had picked it out long before this moment. It was our song. He softly shook his head as he sang the words to me. We had pulled apart enough to look into each others eyes. His dropping occasionally as he fought with the story he was telling. Near the end he followed similar actions to the words he was singing and dropped to his knees as he begged me for his love. I smiled as I nodded to his request.
When he finished the song, he reached for the bottle of his high quality hair products and washed both his and mine. Running his fingers through the back of my hair, we stood chest to chest. My fingers trailed up his chest and as I had wanted the second night in his bed, I continued my trail until I reached my destination. With a grin on his face, he rinsed my hair and the water was off immediately.
Stepping to the bath mat, he reached for my towel before getting his own. We didn't even have a chance to make our way to the bedroom. Backing, he pulled me along him as he sat at the closed toilet. He pulled me to his lap where I straddled him. My body was tingling from the build up of swollen pleasures. “Don't ever leave me, Avery.”
I shook my head. “I never will, Davien.” He pulled me tight against him as I joined his body. I sunk around him as his muscular chest dropped with a struggled moan. “Oh, Davien.” I screamed with self induced vibrations in my voice. Our bodies worked against each other as he pulled me up, I pushed down simultaneously.
Chapter 14
Another three weeks had gone by with our relationship growing daily. Vince and Khloe were quite the couple. Yet they were in the same position as Scott and Natalia where he couldn't spend the night and she rarely stayed with him, except for a Friday night or so. She had opened up enough to where Natalia and I brought her with to CJ's every so often. She smiled the entire time Vince was on stage. After a few rounds of drinks, she had blurted out that 'Vince makes love to the same beat of his drums'. Natalia and I cracked up so hard, but I knew what she meant as I loved the feeling I had when Davien always sang to me during sex. It was more intimate. But I had to admit the story of Vince moving like a pair of drumsticks in rhythm, was quite amusing.
As I had promised months ago, I joined him with a visit with his Mom. She was nothing like I had imagined. I had expected some drunken old lady. So I was quite surprised to walk into a small, yet well taken care of apartment and a beautiful woman cooking a hot meal for her son and his girlfriend. Davien opened the apartment door without knocking. He walked to the kitchen as he Mom stood over the stove stirring the meal. His hand never left mine as he pulled us to the exquisite woman. With one hand still attached to me, he wrapped his free arm around his Mom's waist.
She looked back in surprise. He kissed her cheek. “Hey Ma, whatcha cookin?” He sounded like a young child when he talked.
“Chicken and rice.” She replied. She looked at our attached hands then raising his eyes to meet mine, she smiled.
“This is the lovely Avery Addison Mom, my girlfriend.” He introduced us.
“Thank you for having me over, Mrs...” I stumbled at my words as I was left with no clue to her name except for 'Mom'.
She smiled, relieving me at my embarrassment. “Ms. Dodge. He has my last name honey. I never married.” She pleasantly chuckled. His Mom was softly aged with beautiful features. She came across as a middle class woman, unlike I had assumed. I figured she must have struggled being a single parent. Davien had once told me that his Dad was another Anthony and his Mom left him early in his childhood. I tried picturing Davien as a young boy and laughed to myself as I could see him being the loud and energetic boy. Running around with a guitar.
Dinner was simple, but amazing. It wasn't the food. It was the family. Ms. Dodge was obviously proud of her amazing son. He had accomplished so much over the last few years. I was proud of him.
☼
The following Friday, Natalia picked me up for our usual night at CJ's. Khloe was unable to make it since she was returning home to Iowa for a quick visit with her parents. I was more excited that night compared to the o
ther Fridays. The guys weren't playing because Justin was scheduled for a fight that was canceled. Being the normal routine, we still met up at CJ's to have a few drinks. I was thrilled to spend time with Davien in a relaxed setting. As I knew I would miss his dreamy eyes from the stage, I never minded those same eyes across the table from me.
The guys met us there and it seemed weird to walk in as the guys were already at competition by the dart board. Davien spot me as I stepped in the door. Winking at me and smirking as he left goosebumps traveling through my arms. He looked just as amazing as normal. With faded jeans and a tight fitted black shirt. His hair was styled perfectly with gel in the style I always preferred. The vintage cigarette ad look as I had called it the first night. With the sides shorter than the top which was gelled and combed up and slightly back. It was a wild bad boy style as he matched it with a simple look. He always left me drooling over the man I shared a bed with. The man that I had just made love to hours ago. The man than wouldn't let me escape the bed without being pleased.
“Hey, pretty girl, what's your name?” Davien yelled over the background music. I shook my head as my cheeks heated. “Yeah, I'm talking to you.” He pointed to me as he looked over Vince's head.
I ignored him as I followed Natalia to our usual table. “Weirdo.” I said as Natalia and I both laughed at the gorgeous man.
Repair Me Page 20