Repair Me

by Melissa Phillips

  He jogged to my side as Scott followed short behind. His arms rest above my shoulder. “Hey, I was talking to you, sexy.” I looked at him with amusement. “You got a man?”

  I shook my head, as he questioned my fake answer. “Good... then maybe I'll get a dance with you tonight.” I jumped from my bar stool, more than willing to have a dance with this gorgeous man. “Hey guys,” he yelled around the growing crowd “found me a cute one tonight.” They all shook their heads with his stupidity.

  Scott and Natalia followed us to the dance floor where I had many memories. Many different memories. The first dance with Davien on the second night with him, the actual night I slept in bed with him for the first time in fact. We had shared many love songs in each others arms. But I'd never really admit that my favorite moment on the floor was actually the night that Justin took over the mic and Davien and I danced to the fast beat with our arms tangling as the crowd spread out for us. It wasn't Justin's voice that made it so special it was the energy in Davien's body that he was never embarrassed to show off. The feeling that used all that energy to show off his girlfriend, left me with stronger memories than ever.

  Davien held me tight as I wrapped my hands around his neck. Standing on tippy-toes I kissed him as we carried our bodies to the song. It was a modern country song with good lyrics that only Davien would have requested. He loved a song with a great beat but the songs with a strong story was his favorite. As the song ended, Natalia shot me a look to follow her to the bar as she nodded in that direction. We hooked our arms together, pulling my dress in place, we skipped like young girls to the loosening station. After ordering our drinks, I leaned my back on the bar and smiled as I looked for Davien. But my smiled instantly dropped when I spot him at the normal table. The table that I had just left. He was sitting with a woman who was standing within inches of him. Her back faced me and I was unable to make out her features.

  I took long deep breaths as I watched him politely nodding at the woman, not attempting to brush her away. She was tall with gorgeous loose curled blonde hair. Although I couldn't make out her entire body, I could tell that she was beautiful, yet trashy. Her hand placed on Davien's shoulder as he continued to nod at her. I straightened my posture and crossed my arms over my chest. Looking at Natalia as she finished gathering our drinks from the bartender, I poked her back painfully. “Who the fuck is that ,Natalia. She's not a fan.” I knew she wasn't a fan. Davien would have politely autographed anything appropriate and then left their side. This woman continued with his conversation. “Do you know who that is?”

  She flipped over her shoulder “Who? Where?” I pointed in Davien's direction. Natalia's eyes immediately widened and her breathing was quiet as she studied the pair. “C'mon, Avery. Let's go to the bathroom. I need to check my make up.”

  “No, Natalia. Who the hell is that? Tell me.” I could tell by her voice and her facial expressions, that the lady was someone she knew and it wasn't a family member. “You go with me or I go by myself”. Ignoring her, I stepped to balance my shaky body and she pulled me back.

  “I'm going with you.” She demanded.

  As we walked closer, Davien noticed my annoyed look. I was beyond annoyed, I was pissed. Yes, in the beginning I was a little jealous, I had questions, but I kept trying to tell myself she was probably a cousin since he allowed her hand on his shoulder. He never did that, at least not in front of me. Davien placed his hand over the blondes and dropped it to her side. Seeming annoyed, she shook her head with disgust. Davien's eyes never left my blackened eyes. The three other men sat across from him as they watched my intense looks. Surely the woman had noticed Davien watching and turned to see what he had been looking at.

  Looking over her shoulder, our eyes met. She gave me a smile, not a happy smile, a laughing smile with betrayal behind it. I followed her body down to her over flowing cleavage as I squint my eyes in disbelief. There was no introduction, so as I had assumed by the way Natalia had spoke and the look on Davien's face, this woman was not what I wanted to meet. As she made a full turn, I grabbed my stomach as I gripped to help myself from throwing up. Natalia placed her hand on my back when she noticed the same swollen belly that I had just seen.

  Dropping my drink to the next table, I fought my way through the crowd. Natalia chased after me, calling my name repeatedly. As I had hoped, the bathroom was empty when I fell to the floor. Natalia dropped to her knees in front of me. “When did they date Natalia?” She wouldn't answer though. “When in the hell did they date?” I screamed loud enough for the rest of the bar to hear over the bathroom door.

  Long seconds passed as she did math work in her head. Whispering the answer. “They didn't date,” She said, but I knew it wasn't the answer I had asked. “but they stopped having sex about 8 months ago. A few months before you even met Davien.” Standing from the floor, I walked to the closest stall and threw up as my body shook from the truth.

  Holding my hair from my face, Natalia stood over me as I leaned in the toilet. With a loud bang, I heard the screaming of Davien's voice. “Let me see her, Natalia.” He yelled while pounding at the door.

  She released my ponytail and looking over the bathroom, she opened the door, allowing Davien to see me. “Leave me alone, Davien.” I cried. My voice was full of pity towards him.

  “I'm sorry, Avery.” I shook my head in disgust. He stepped behind me and I lowered myself to sit on the dirty bar bathroom floor. His hand ran over my back. “I don't know what to say. I know it looks horrible.”

  I screamed as I looked dead into his eyes. “Its looks horrible? That's all you can say? You're having a baby with a woman that looks like a damn whore and all you can say is 'sorry'... go fuck yourself, Davien Dodge.” He tried to grab my hand, but I snatched it back. “I'm through.”

  “You can't.”

  “Watch me!” I squint my eyes and my middle finger flew high enough to touch his face. He didn't make another move, but he pulled his lips in to fight his tears.

  With Natalia helping me to my feet, Davien backed away, allowing me to walk past him. I threw another look and he stood with his head dropped. Swinging the bathroom door open, I stomped to the many watching patrons. I followed Natalia to the table where Scott was waiting for her. She was having a small conversation but my mind was in a different world.

  Looking behind me, I saw Davien approaching the same table. The swollen bellied lady was no where in sight but I still had no desire to even look at Davien. He was a stranger in my present thoughts. As he came within arms reach, he spoke to me with clenched jaws. “Avery, please talk to me.”

  “Leave me alone!” I screamed until the crowd quietened and more faces followed to my attention. “Please, just leave me alone.” His hand ran over my crossed arms, but I pushed him away.

  Justin was watching me as he knew the truth, but sorry for my pain. Stepping from his stool, Justin walked to Davien's side and placed his hand on Davien's shoulder. “Just leave her alone for a little bit man.” He was the mutual friend that didn't want to see either of us hurt. Sometimes the truth hurts though. Davien shook his head without agreement. “I'm asking you as a friend to give her sometime. She's hurt. She loves you.” Not being his normal self, Davien pushed Justin's hand off his shoulder until Justin had to catch his balance. I could tell that Justin understood his anger, but he understood mine as well. He walked away from Davien as he eyed him up and down. Then ran his arm around my waist, pulling me against his side. Justin kept his cool and tried to warn Davien to follow the same. “C'mon, Baby girl. I'll take you to your place.”

  Without another option, I followed Justin. With his arm still wrapped around my body, I looked over my shoulder and spot Davien. His eyes were filled with tears and his throat was swelled as he tried to keep them from falling. With his hands meeting at the bridge of his nose and his mouth covered with those same hands, Davien begged with his eyes. Justin yanked at my arm until I followed him. As we made it out the door, I immediately began sobbing, holding my
body against Justin's for comfort. He soothed my back with the palm of his hand. “No, Justin, please tell me I'm dreaming. Tell me it's not true, please.” I cried out. Everything was happening so fast.

  He didn't say anything as he rocked me against his chest. His lips touched the top of my hair. “It's gonna be okay, Baby girl.” He pulled my face away so he could wipe my tears. “I promise.” He led me to his candy apple car and opened the passenger door for me.

  When he stepped to the driver side, I pulled my seat belt across me and I noticed Davien coming from the exit door at CJ's. He spot me in Justin's car and his hands covered his mouth. I shook my head and he dropped to the ground. He slowly sat as his back scraped at the brick covered building. His knees were pulled high with his hands resting on top. His face fell to his hands.

  I sobbed the entire time to the house. When he pulled to the parking lot of the townhouse I shared with the guys, my eyes widened with the new fact. “I can't go in there, Justin.” He shrugged his shoulders.“No!”

  “You have to. You guys will be fine by tomorrow. Sleep it off and talk about it in the morning.”

  “Justin, he's having a baby with some slut who he's probably still sleeping with.” I screamed out at the obvious truth.

  “He's not sleeping with her anymore.” He yelled back in defense. It was confirmed by many people now. The thought of knowing that Davien had slept with that same slutty woman, sickened me. “She was a fling... a damn fling. Last fling he ever had. She used him for his fame then fucked every guy in town.” His voice was panicky and loud.

  “Did you?”

  “Did I what?” his voice was different than normal, the only time I had ever heard him like this was the day he found Anthony in the apartment.

  “Did you have sex with her?”

  “NO!” He shout. “I never did. I've never slept with any of my guys flings.”

  I looked at the townhouse again and shook my head “Do you think it's his?” I fought against the words. “D-d-d you think the baby is his?”

  “No one knows for another few weeks.” He tried to comfort me as his voice calmed.

  “You know I can't stay here.”

  “Where am I supposed to take you then? You have to.” Justin tried to calm me enough to sleep this off and deal with it in the morning. “Go sleep on the couch. Shit, make Davien sleep on the couch.”

  “Take me home with you.” I mumbled quietly. he looked at me in shock and shook his head as he disagreed with my answer. “I'm not staying here. It's either your place or Anthony's. You make the decision.”

  “Damn it, Avery!” There went my name. His hand flew through his buzz cut .“One night, okay, one fucking night. Then I'm taking you home and I'll stay with you until you guys talk in the morning.”

  “Thank You.” I whispered as he changed gears, looking in his mirror, he reversed his car to the lot in full force. I hated doing this, I hated putting him in the middle, but he was all I had at the moment. He was my security for the evening. “Justin, whatever you do... don't let me leave. Make sure I give Davien a chance. Once I leave, I'm not coming back!”

  “What do I need to do? I won't let you leave completely.” He whispered, his eyes falling from the street to meet mine.

  “What ever it takes.” I whispered back. He gently nodded with agreement.

  ☼

  Going to Justin's house, that he shared with Vince, seemed odd, but I wasn't going home. And as I stated, my only other option was Anthony's and I had no desire to live that life again. Just as everything was perfect, my whole life changed over a few hours time. “I'll grab you some blankets.” I sat on the couch in the living room of Justin's home. Their house was much larger than the one I had been sharing with Davien and Scott. Yet you could tell a couple of bachelors lived there. A game system was connected to the TV and surround sound speakers were placed in every corner of the room. As I caught view of the kitchen, I noticed the empty beer bottles that Vince and Justin had collected along the counter.

  Justin re-entered the room with a pile of assorted blankets, placing them on the couch next to me. “I wasn't sure what you wanted.”

  “Thanks,” his face was blank “I'm sorry, Justin.”

  “It's okay, Baby girl.” He sat next to me and wrapped his arm around my shoulders, pulling me against his chest. “We're going over there tomorrow morning.. first thing.”

  “Can I use the bathroom?” He directed me to the second door down the hall. I walked the hallway and noticed the first door led to a bedroom in which I assumed was either Vince's or Justin's obviously. Opening the bathroom door, I flipped the light switch and examined the room. Opposite Davien's apartment, everything was plain and simple. A small metal towel bar hung over the toilet with a thin white towel flipped around it. The room was clean but nothing extra ordinary. Two toothbrushes lined at the sink with a plain bar of soap sitting in a ceramic dish.

  Returning to the living room, I found the couches empty. I sat to my spot and covered my limp body with the blanket from the top of the pile. I watched over the room as I debated on turning the TV on or possibly just pulling the light string down to blacken my nightmare away.

  “I brought you some clothes.” Justin stepped from the bedroom that I had just passed. He was wearing a pair of black sweatpants that hung low to his solid body. He wasn't built like an overly muscular body builder, but his look was tight and firm. His bare chest and arms were solid with strength. Coming closer to me, he dropped a pair of similar sweats to my lap and a plain white t-shirt was folded on top.

  “Thanks, Justin” I smiled politely.

  “You want company?” His eyes smiled as he looked at me.

  “I think I'll just change and call it one.” Ignoring my answer, he dropped to my side and pulled me against him. “Thanks, Justin, you're awesome.”

  “Anytime, Baby girl. It's killin' me to see you hurting.” He kissed my forehead “You're a wonderful girlfriend to that man.” His voice changed as his eyes dropped to his lap. “But you know if that's his baby, he needs to take responsibility of it.” I nodded my head, but stayed quiet. It was one thing that he had a child with Danielle whether or not that wasn't his biological child, but to be in a relationship for weeks or months, then some chick showing up nearly 9 months pregnant was a little different. The girl wasn't even respectful as she laughed in my face. The more I heard about her, the more I hated her.

  We talked for nearly 3 hours with the TV off and the room quiet. We laughed a little and I cried a lot, but he was my comfort and he was doing an awesome job at it. He knew he was my only option other than Anthony. And Anthony had no problem taking me in. Ever! At one point I told him. “Tomorrow morning I'm taking the money and finding a cheap hotel room.”

  “No you're not. You'll leave him, Baby girl. Once you leave you won't go back. And you told me tomake sure you gave him a chance. Please! He deserves it. You're not leaving though. I won't let you.” He begged and pleaded. I wasn't blackmailing him, I was honest and he was too. After grabbing me a glass of ice water, he excused his self to the bedroom. He tucked the covers around my lifeless body and left me with a kiss to the very top of my head. “Good night, Baby girl.”

  “Night, Justin.” He pulled the string above the coffee table and walked towards his room. The living room was quiet with Vince still at CJ's. I wondered if he was with Davien and wondered what they were talking about. Did Davien call the girl back to the bar? Were they slow dancing on the same dance floor that I had shared with him? With her belly popped between the two of them. Was he rubbing her belly with excitement?

  Did he bring her home with him? Was she there now? The image of the woman repeatedly played before my eyes. More than anything, the moment when she turned her body in full view and my eyes met the swollen belly. The laughter in her eyes when she looked at me. It still caused me to gag at the thought.

  I knew it was the correct thing to do for Davien to stand up for his mistakes but with a woman like that, I wasn't sur
e if I could handle the drama. I was 22 years old and a whole life ahead of me. I didn't know the handsome man that I met a couple of months ago had a package he was carrying around with him. I wasn't ready to be a 'step-mom' or maybe just the girlfriend of the Dad. Or maybe the slutty ex would call me 'her baby daddies girlfriend' or maybe I was his ex and she was back in the picture? Was she really ever in the picture? Did he tell her the same things he told me? Was I just the next girl in line? I knew he was a man whore previously, but was he still playing that same game and I was the new girl that modeled his game piece? The one he would drag across the game board without passing 'Go' and not collecting the money.

  I was the next one. Or maybe the previous one. I thought I was special, I had felt it all along and I thought he was special too, but a past like his could return and change things without warning. Shaking my head, I thought about the night when he laughed at Vince, telling everyone that his bed was strictly for Avery and him. Did the slutty ex take over my pillow? Had she pushed my clothes to the side? Maybe he was hanging his clothes at her house. Or possibly worse, was his clothes on her bedroom floor right now. Was he singing to her those same love songs. Did he sing to her in the past? I felt like that was our special thing, but with a voice like his, I was sure he had seduced many women in that same exact way.

  My head was pounding with all of my questions. My eyes were on fire as I fought my tears. With a wet face, I pushed my blanket to the side and pulled myself to my heavy feet. Walking the hallway, I opened the first door. Sleeping in a high set bed, rest Justin on his back in deep sleep. His arms were locked behind his head, his elbows sticking out and his closed eyes pointed towards the fan covered ceiling. His chest was still bare and was slowly raising from the soft breathing as he slept.

  Sitting on the edge of the bed, I quietly lowered myself to sit next to him. Sitting as I watched him in peace, I pulled my arm across his toned abs and rest my head to his chest. As his breathing pattern changed, his hands reached to my wrapped arm. “What's wrong, Baby girl?” He whispered with a sleep induced raspy voice. I didn't answer him, I just rest my head on him for relief. Pulling his black sheet to the side, he pulled at my shoulder. “C'mon, lay down.”