Thankfully, though, in the end, she went to the specialty paint store I strongly recommended. But the tone is just right, and it compliments the entire motif of the house, lots of blacks and whites, with the grays acting less like depressing tones but more like light that’ll catch the sun coming through the open windows to soften them. There are also enough little details that add to a general tone of calm cheer that the house looks like it’ll have an aura of peaceful warmth and splendor, if the owners can furnish it right.
As I wander through the rooms, I hear a car door close out front and the porch crew guys talking to someone. Wondering who it might be, I head downstairs and to the front door, freezing when I see Cassie.
Shit. Just be cool. It’s only Cassie. We’re just friends.
Just a friend? A friend you’ve seen naked more times than I can count and know just how and where she likes to be touched. Face it, idiot. She’s got what you need, and you say she’s just a friend.
Cassie sees me through the open door and smiles, lifting her hand in a wave. Coming through the door, she ignores the work crew and beelines right to me. “Hey, Caleb. What’s going on, stranger?”
She goes to hug me, but it’s awkward when I don’t hug her back, just giving her shoulder a little pat. She gives me an odd look and I try to explain. “Paint . . . not sure if it’s all dry. I don’t want to get you dirty.”
Cassie steps back with a teasing smirk on her cute, bow-shaped lips, and I feel myself more torn than ever. “You sure didn’t mind getting me dirty before.”
She’s joking around, trying to banter like before, but my heart’s not in it right now. Instead, I shrug, trying to find something to say that doesn’t make me look like an asshole or an idiot. Sadly, I fail miserably.
“Yeah, uh . . . good one.” Gesturing to the back of the house, I ignore the questioning look from Cassie and start talking. “Come here and let me show you something. As you can see, I got the wood floors all stained and a coat of poly on them. They say you don’t even need to wax them, so that’ll be nice. Oh, and yesterday, I got the floor tiles done in the bathrooms. I’ve been painting this morning—the upstairs bedrooms—and by the end of today, I’ll have the hall done too. Tomorrow, I’ll either start the bathrooms or the kitchen, depending on the delivery today. Bathroom stuff is here, but the cabinet fixtures are set for this afternoon, and if I can get those in, I’d prefer to do that. So if they get here early enough, I’ll focus on that.” I’m rambling, talking about stuff she already knows. Hell, she sent me the delivery dates on the materials. After all, she put all the orders on Oliver’s company credit card.
But I don’t know what else to say. I just need to get us back to before somehow. I want to go back to where I can look at Cassie and just see my friend, the girl who sure is hot as fuck with a body that has pleased me like nobody else. But it’s really her heart and smile that warm me, make me want to be her friend, and more . . . wait, fuck.
Cassie looks at me for a moment, finally speaking up. “Sounds good, I guess. Got everything you need? Need any help with paint? I’m pretty much a Picasso when it comes to painting, or we could split it up . . . you roll and I’ll do the trim?”
Trim? When she says it, all I can think of is how it would feel to take her upstairs and check on her trim. My hands start shaking, and I shake my head quickly, hoping that I can get this over with before I make any more of an ass out of myself. “Nah, it’s okay. I know you’re busy. I’ve got it under control. That’s what I get paid for, after all.” I know I sound dismissive, and the air surrounding us feels uneasy, awkward with tension and I know it’s my fault.
“Mmmhmm,” Cassie says quietly before clearing her throat. “But this is my project.”
I don’t have a reply, the weight in the room dragging down, but after a moment, she shrugs. “Okay. Well, I’ll get out of your way then.”
She turns around and adjusts her bag strap on her shoulder, almost as if she’s waiting for me to say something. At the bedroom door, she stops before walking out, pausing and looking back at me. Her voice sounds strained, and I can see her eyes glistening. I won’t allow myself to say that they’re tears. “Hey, Caleb? I want you to know that it’s okay if you’re swimming. I get it, but I still want to be friends.”
Before I can reply, she walks out. I hear her holler goodbye to the porch guys, and as she pulls away, I can hear them trash-talking about how hot she is, and it pisses me off so badly that I want to go out on the porch and bust every single one of their disrespectful asses right in the mouth. But I don’t have any right to be mad and I know it, so I turn my radio full-blast and take my frustration out on the bedroom walls, covering them with the ugliest fucking grey paint I’ve ever seen.
Metallica’s Unforgiven serenades me as I wonder what the hell’s wrong with me. Not that the paint has any answers.
Chapter 25
Cassie
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. What happened? I thought everything was going pretty well. We were getting along and the sex was beyond amazing. Sure, we were getting a little closer than being just fuck buddies, but so what? It seemed to me that Caleb was cool with it and we were just adapting to a new situation. Apparently, everything wasn’t cool, because Caleb is acting so distant, even not-so-subtly trying to get rid of me.
I don’t know what I did. Last time we were together was awesome. He even slept over and didn’t seem weird when he left that morning. I mean, it wasn’t like I cleared out space in the medicine cabinet for him to leave a toothbrush or tell him that he could use one of my drawers to keep a spare pair of jeans and underpants. We just had sex, and it was late so he slept over. Yeah, things got a little emotional afterward, but it was still cool. At least, that’s what I thought at the time, but then he pulled that ghost job on me for the rest of the week. What could’ve happened?
Damn it, I know better. I shouldn’t be asking what happened. The better question is, who happened? He’s met someone, and he doesn’t know how to break the news to me. He knew inside as much as I did that we’ve crossed a line, even if we weren’t sure what the hell to call ourselves anymore.
It’s just what I’ve come to expect, I guess. Mama always told me to be careful, because even if what’s at home is great, men will scout for the next one. Okay, so he’s swimming away just like I assumed in the beginning. He’s too good of a guy to keep up this casual sex thing. I knew that even before we started fucking around. He deserves more than a setup like that. I knew better than to get attached, but I fucking went and did it anyway. When did I fall for him?
I stop, looking at myself in the bathroom mirror, my toothbrush dropping to the countertop where it tumbles into the sink, unnoticed. Instead, I look at the haunted face of the woman staring back at me with puffy bags under her eyes, hollowed out cheeks from not eating enough the past few days, and . . . the realization hits me like a punch between the eyes.
Oh, shit. I have fallen for him. This is bad. I told myself since leaving home that I wasn’t going to let this happen, that I was going to focus on my career. Now, without even realizing it, I let Caleb in and it hurts so much.
Why did it have to be Caleb, of all people? He’s a man I like, not just as a man, but as a person too. I don’t have many friends. The list of people I really trust can be counted on one hand. And Caleb was like the thumb of that group, the one I could always count on to be strong and there for me. And I went and fucked it up.
I take a big breath. “All right, Cassie, get it together. You’ll get through this,” I tell my reflection. “Chin up to see the sun lighting the way, just like Mama always said. Appreciate the good and it’ll get you through the bad,” I add. “Maybe this is just a little phase. Once he’s comfortable, everything will be back like it was before. We can laugh and talk and . . .”
Before the tears can start, I stop talking, trying to think of what I need. What I need is to get my mind off Caleb Strong. And right now, the only thing I can think of to do that is to work. Yes, that’s
it. I’ll go to the office. I’ve got stuff to do and the distraction will do me good. I quickly get dressed, casual today since, quite frankly, I don’t feel like putting on a skirt and Oli doesn’t care how I dress unless I’m meeting clients. With barely a last glance in the mirror, I grab a granola bar and jump in my car.
Pulling into a space at Mindy’s Place, I barely have to debate before I head inside. If I’m going to get through the day, I’m going to require mass quantities of caffeine and maybe the addition of a lot of forced humor. As I wait in line, I think about what I’m going to do to distract myself. I’ve just gotten to the idea of seeing if I can fit my entire ass on the copier before I order my drink and sit down at a vacant table in the corner, trying to hide. Both literally and figuratively.
It doesn’t work, as I see Martha picking up her cup of coffee and mine to head my way. She looks like she’s already had her high caffeine enema for the morning. She’s smiling and looking like she’s ready to take on the day. She’s dressed up a bit, wearing a pantsuit that flatters her, honestly. It makes me feel even worse, looking down at my khakis and quickly pulled-on red blouse. Ugh.
“Hey, Cassie! I called from upstairs to order my cup of joe, but Mindy asked if I could bring yours on over. You mind?” she asks, gesturing to the empty chair in front of me. I’m used to her being nice, but there’s something in her voice that makes me on edge, like she’s sort of engineered this and is looking for a reason to talk.
“Of course not. Sit.” What am I gonna do? Tell her no, go away, I want to be alone? Hello, Captain Obvious, I do that and she’s for sure going to know something’s wrong. Instead, I plaster a fake smile across my face. More than likely, she’s going to give me a ‘talk’, and right now, the last thing I want is a talk.
“So what’s going on with you, Martha? Find any good properties to consider lately?” I ask, desperate to keep the conversation off me and more on business. “I can do drive-by checks if you need some help.” I need something to keep me busy, dammit!
Martha shakes her head, leaning back and crossing her legs primly before giving me a rueful smile. “No, dear. I’m afraid that Oli’s got me looking at commercial properties for a client right now, not for his own investment. So I’m working directly with their management team to find the right place. Thanks for the offer though. I haven’t seen much of you lately. How’s your house project going?”
“Pretty well. The demo and reconstruction are done, including the electrical and plumbing. The new porch is in, and by now, the painting should all be done too. All that’s left are the kitchen and two and a half baths, and then I’ll stage it for sale. Comps are looking good and we’re under budget just a little, so that helps with the tight profit margin.”
Martha gives a little hum. “It does sound like you’ve got it well in hand, Cassie. Congrats on doing such a great job. I know Oliver had some worries about it, but it sounds like you’ll do fine. How’s it been with Caleb? Y’all are always a hoot to listen to when he comes in the office. Have you guys been able to keep it, well, professional and friendly when the time’s right?”
I can tell she’s fishing, trying to pump me for information, but I’m not ready to go there yet. Instead, I stir my coffee, letting it cool for a moment before I take a sip, letting the bitter drink wash down my throat and hit my stomach. It’s good, and I remind myself that before I head upstairs, I should probably get an iced one. Martha clears her throat and raises an eyebrow, and I know I can’t delay any longer, so instead, I deadpan, “We’re doing fine. We’ve managed to wrangle our incessant need to bicker and have gotten stuff done. It’s been . . . fine.”
Martha gives a soft laugh. “Nice try, Cassie. Try again. In the fif—well, the more years than I’d like to admit being around, never have I known a woman to use the word fine to actually mean fine. Especially when it comes to men.”
I give her a long look and finally just shrug. “I don’t know what to say.”
Martha sips at her coffee, the silence drawing out for a few minutes before she speaks again. “Cassie, you don’t have to tell me anything you don’t want to, but I’m always here to listen if you need someone. Don’t let it shock you, but I have a little experience in matters of the heart and maybe even a bit of wisdom in this old body of mine if you ever want to pick my brain.”
She sits silently, finishing her first coffee and ordering another as she waits. I fight an internal battle of whether to say anything. It’s over, but it’d feel good to get it off my chest maybe? Finally, after Martha has her second coffee, I spit it out, and not quite like I intended. “I fell for him.”
I expect condemnation, or perhaps sappy false pity. Instead, Martha sips her coffee before calmly commenting, “Well, normally, I’d say that’s a good thing, but given the look on your face, perhaps not?”
“I don’t know. I mean, you know how we were, and I know you sort of gave me a warning, but it’s gotten . . . complicated,” I reply tentatively, looking hopefully at Martha. Oh, God, I wish I had someone I could talk to about this, but Hannah’s for sure asleep. It’s like three in the morning her time or something. Mindy’s cool, but she’s also the boss’s wife. And Emily, I still don’t know very well. It’s one thing to giddily chat with girlfriends about getting some, but quite another for them to listen to you whine when it blows up as it always does. I really do need to make some more friends instead of working all the time. So instead, I’m unloading myself on . . . well, my boss.
Martha sits back, sighing. “Complicated. So many things contained within a single word, and none of them easy to understand.”
“You sound like you’ve had experience with it,” I say, and Martha laughs darkly.
“Believe it or not, back in my wild days, we had sex too. Despite the shoulder pads and hairstyles. And I had my fair share of office romance back then, and some stories that I won’t share since I still see some of those people around town. And it’s still . . . complicated.”
“Yeah, so that, and it was going well . . . but then he bolted. It’s fine, that’s what guys do. I’m cool with that. I understand that some men are the forever type and some aren’t. But I guess I fell for him more than I meant to, and now . . . it just hurts because I don’t want it to mess up our friendship. But don’t worry, it’ll be fine. I’ll be fine.” I force the corners of my mouth up to resemble a smile, but the look Martha gives me makes it feel even faker than it is.
“Cassie, I’m so sorry. But not all guys bolt. I’m not sure whatever gave you that idea. Maybe some do, but some stay forever. Maybe that’s not Caleb for you, but it will be someone someday. So don’t give up hope. And honestly, I’m not sure it’s not Caleb. Maybe he’s scared. I don’t know the details, but that boy is a commitment phobe if ever I saw one. Actually, I know why, too.”
“You do?” I ask, and Martha nods. “How?”
“Like you said, it’s complicated. Town like this, word gets around. We might look like we’re getting up in size, and I guess the university has something to do with it, but the long-timers, the folks who were born and raised around here or have lived here awhile, they still gossip. That, and Douglas Reinhart was the contractor who renovated my house. His workers did a lot of talking back around then. But they all said Caleb’s a good man, and I’ve never seen anything to make me think otherwise. Give it time, honey.”
With a pat on my hand, she gets up. “I’ll be in the office all morning and on properties this afternoon. You call me if you need anything.”
Chapter 26
Cassie
Worried that Martha would mother me to death, I’m relieved when she let me be the whole day, and this morning was more of the same. Now it’s lunch time, and my stomach growls for the new panini Mindy’s chef made for today’s special. I pick up my order, deciding to walk to the park to eat, and wave at Mindy as I step outside. As I do, I see Caleb at the corner of the building. I stop. He’s looking so handsome. Today, he’s in some camo pants and a black t-shirt, his scuffed
work boots only adding to his gruff sexiness. He’s smiling, and I take a step in his direction before I stop. He’s talking to someone just out of my sight, and I duck back before he catches sight of me.
Maybe I’m just imagining things, but I swear his voice has that same sexy purring growl that sets my stomach on its head and my pussy on fire when he talks to me. But this time, he’s not talking to me. “Yeah, that sounds good. I’ve got some work stuff today, but tomorrow night works.”
Before I can even wonder who he’s talking to or try to delude myself that what he’s saying is totally innocent, I hear a woman reply. She’s got a sultry voice, the kind that could melt butter from ten paces and is dripping with honey in the way that only a born Southern belle can do it. “Thanks so much, Caleb. It’s been awhile since you’ve been by. It’s really great to see you again.”
Caleb sounds a little shy, but eager at the same time as he replies, “Yeah, I’ve been busy. A couple of projects have me working long hours. But tomorrow’s good. I’ll see you then.”
I hear a smacking noise and feel my heart shatter into a million pieces as I realize they’re kissing. That fucker, he couldn’t have just told me that he’d met someone? I’m mad, I’m seeing red, and I’m jealous as fuck. Swimming away is one thing, but to just . . . oh, that son of a bitch, I’ll have his balls hanging from my rearview mirror!
I peek out and see him close the door on a little red sports car and tap the roof of the car. As the car pulls away, I see a flash of blonde hair in the driver’s seat. In an instant, I’m lost. I pop out of the little alcove I’ve been hiding in and stomp toward him. My pulse is pounding in my temples and my fists are bunched at my sides.
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