by Kylie Parker
“She’s Sylvia,” I manage to spit out weakly, and I can see the gears turning in Éclair’s head as she pieces together the extravagant and mentally unstable plan Suzette had created.
“Oh my God, ewe!” Éclair snaps, “You’re sleeping with my sister!”
Not the part I want her concentrating on right now. The two of them start yelling at one another in French, and I am almost afraid to know what they are saying. Suzette lunges towards Éclair, her bat at her side. “Leave her alone!” I shout from the ground, pulling at my restraint with what little strength I can muster as Éclair makes a run for my kitchen to get away from her crazy sister. I hear crashing noises as Éclair dodges the bat and Suzette knocks a bunch of shit off my kitchen counter.
I look up to see Éclair diving out from around my kitchen island just as Suzette catches up to her, beaming her square in the back with the bat and knocking her to the ground. Suzette comes at her with the bat, and the zip-ties finally snap. I suddenly don’t feel my injuries as adrenaline flushes throughout my body, and I dive right into Suzette –tackling her like a damn football player. We go crashing back, and I’m fairly certain I’ve knocked her out after that impact. I stand up slowly, hardly able to hobble over to Éclair who is lying flat on her stomach moaning something terrible. I hope Suzette didn’t break her spine with that hit.
“Éclair-” I say, reaching out towards her just as Suzette awakens and leaps onto my back, the baseball bat pressed against my neck –choking me.
“Get off, you damn spider-monkey!” I shout and try to fling her off of me, but she’s got a grip like you would not believe. I suddenly can’t speak as she rears back, pulling the bat with both hands against my throat. I can’t breathe!
I fall to my knees, my breath becomes this raspy, desperate attempt to inhale as I reach around trying to pull her stupid ass off my back. I see Éclair moving on the ground, but I don’t realize what she’s reaching for until I hear the shot ring out. She pulled that damn pistol of hers out of her Gucci purse and shot Suzette right off me. I lean forward, gasping. I look back and see Suzette lying on the ground, a bullet wound in her shoulder.
I grab at my throat and glance over at Éclair as she struggles to stand. “Thanks,” I say as I rise.
“Oh my God, is she okay?” Éclair sounds legitimately distressed as she hurries to her sister’s side. She reaches down towards her, and it turns out the psychopath was playing dead and she snags Éclair’s gun right out of her hands. Shit.
I snatch Éclair back, and when Suzette shoots up she hits my ceiling fan –causing the lights in the apartment to flicker and sparks to fall down over our heads. Both Éclair and I bolt towards the elevator as Suzette struggles to stand up, the pistol pointed our way. I push Éclair in, and I receive a shot in the back. Just as the elevator doors are closing, I fall down to my knees. I feel Éclair grab hold of me. “Get up, she’s going to be coming after us. Do you have your phone? Can you call the police?”
“No. My phone’s back at the apartment. Where’s yours?” I ask.
“In my purse,” she says.
“And your purse?”
“In the apartment.”
“Fuck!” I snap, and she helps me stand. I have a fucking bullet in my back and I’m fairly certain I have a few broken bones as well. I feel around in my pockets. “I have my car keys,” I say.
“Good,” she says, “let’s get the hell out of here.”
73
“Where to?” Éclair asks as she takes the wheel of my car and sends us zipping out of the parking deck.
“The hospital, where the fuck do you think?” I snap as I slowly cover the passenger’s seat of my car with a puddle of my own blood. “I can’t believe she shot me!”
“I can’t believe you took a bullet for me,” Éclair says, ignoring all traffic regulations.
“Watch it!” I shout when she speeds through a red light, “You’re going to get us killed!”
“Suzette is the one who is going to get us killed,” Éclair hisses.
“Yeah, about that,” I say, a hint of resentment in my tone, “you never told me your sister was insane!”
“You never told me you were screwing her! And I didn’t know she was that crazy. I mean, she’s always been a little off, but-” the car jolts forward. I glance back, and of course, Suzette is in the car behind us –having just rammed into us.
“She’s going to run us off the road!” I shout.
“And she’s probably still has my gun,” Éclair says, “Well this is just great.”
My ears are ringing. How could Sylvia –Suzette –do this? After everything we’ve been through in the past few months I am suddenly finding out that it was all fake? Everything she did she did because she knew it would get me excited. No girlfriend is that laid back! I mean, seriously, how did I think any of that was real? Perfect body, mind, and soul! She was like a dream! Turns out she was just a nightmare out to ruin my life. She had created my ideal girl for me just to yank it right out from under me, and for what? Money? To get back at her sister? This bitch is all kinds of crazy!
“Shit!” I hear Éclair scream as Suzette rams us again, and Éclair suddenly jerks the wheel to the right. I swear, the car comes up onto two wheels for a second as we make this freakishly rapid turn onto… a one way street.
“Son of a bitch!” I scream and grab hold of the oh-shit handle above the window. I see five cars coming our way –the faces on the drivers are just as freaked out as mine.
Éclair jerks the car back and forth and up onto the sidewalk. One poor bastard jumps up into a stores window’s shingles to avoid us. I look back, and Suzette is actually following us. “Is she still behind us?” Éclair shrieks as she jerks us down another road to get off the one way street.
“Yes!” I say after looking into the rearview. “Your sister is crazy!”
“No shit!” Éclair shouts, “I’m going to lead her to the police station.”
“Do it,” I say, “turn down this street.”
“No, that will take me downtown,” she says.
“The station is downtown,” I argue.
“No, it’s not,” I argue right back. Are we really having a petty argument right now? Suzette hits us again, but this time we spin out, but somehow Éclair manages to get us facing around the correct way. I can smell burnt rubber. I hear a gun go off. “She’s shooting at us!” I shout.
“What could she possibly gain from killing us?” Éclair snaps as she regains control of the car.
“She just transferred all of my money to an offshore account,” I say.
“Damn it,” Éclair says, and this time when she tries to turn we wind up spinning around completely. She throws the car in reverse and hits the gas.
“What the hell are you doing?” I scream, and as I look straight out the windshield I can see Suzette coming up on us at full speed with this absolutely crazy look in her eyes.
“Shit!” I hear Éclair say; she is looking back; she jerks the wheel again, and the car flips.
The next few seconds feel like they are happening in slow motion as I glance out the window and see Suzette running straight on into a cement truck –the truck is obviously the reason Éclair had spun off. I’m not sure how many times we flip, but I can feel my shoulders and head bash around as glass shatters all around us. We stop flipping, and we wind up upside down dangling by our seatbelts.
I rub the side of my head, and I see blood from my bullet wound dripping down onto the ceiling of the vehicle. “Geeze,” I groan and I glance over at Éclair who is dangling beside me. She’s not moving. “Éclair? Éclair?” I reach for her, tapping her shoulder, “Éclair! Éclair! Wake up!” I think this is the most terrified I’ve ever been. The thought of losing her is by far the most horrifying moment of my life.
“Ma’am, are you okay?” I hear a man shouting –one of the construction workers who had been working on the road.
I look out the window, and I see Suzette climbing out of her crushed c
ar. Of course, the crazy one is fine. She looks really beat up; I swear her leg is broken as she starts hobbling across the street towards me. “Shit, shit, shit, shit!” I struggle with the seatbelt; she’s going to kill us. I can see Éclair’s gun in her right hand, dangling at her side. She looks dead at me, and she raises her gun.
The sound of squeaking tires and a horrible thud shrieks in my ears as I watch a van come into my line of sight, running Suzette down where she stands. My jaw drops as I witness Suzette go up and over the enormous vehicle, landing on the assault behind the van. Turns out it wasn’t luck that saved me. Fucking Leonard Troft, my personal driver, climbs out of the car that had hit Suzette.
“Leo?” I question.
She straightens his suit as construction workers are helping me out of my car. I grip onto one of the kind Samaritans as I stare at Leonard. “Did you just…”
“I believe I did, sir. I saw you and Ms. Éclair fleeing from that lunatic, so I followed you… is Ms. Éclair okay?” Leonard looks so suave. He is not even slightly fazed by the fact that he just mowed down Suzette in the middle of the freeway. “Every time you get in a car without me, sir, something bad happens. Perhaps you should make a habit of calling me more often.”
The construction workers are calling an ambulance. They lay Éclair out on the side of the road, and I hurry beside her. She’s awake, but she looks really dazed. She hit her head pretty hard, but I think she’s going to be okay. “Where’s Suzette?” Éclair mumbles. “Is she okay?”
“Not really,” I say, and I can see the hurt on Éclair’s face as she’s lying there in the median. I hold her hand. I won’t say it, but I’m pretty sure Leo just killed Suzette. I’m probably going to pay for his lawyer…
I don’t look over at Suzette. I can’t. I have never felt such betrayal. I loved her –or rather, I loved Sylvia. But I also love Éclair, and Éclair is real. Sylvia was just a fantasy. Real relationships have fights and imperfections. Sylvia was perfect because she had to be to trick me. I want something real. “I love you,” I say to Éclair as they putting her into the back of an ambulance.
She flicks me off, but she gives me this sad smile and says, “I love you too, jackass.”
74
I look at Kate after making the announcement. Everyone looks excited, but Kate’s face is just blank. It’s shock, I think. We, and by we I mean myself and Eddie’s other half-siblings and their families, are back at Kate’s home for their family cookout. The gathering of the abandoned bastard children, as Kate’s son Bobby had put it to me recently. “I’m sorry,” Kate says after my announcement has sunk in, “but you’re doing what?”
“Doing? No. Done, yes,” I say, “The Edward Mont Scholarship Fund is already up and running. All of them,” I wave my hands at the group of kids all standing by, “will be taken care of. They’re going to college, Kate.”
Single dad of three girls, Troy, breaks down. He sits himself down on Kate’s couch and buries his face in his hands. The kids are all pretty speechless as they crowd together, staring at one another as they contemplate what this will mean for their futures. Bobby, Kate’s oldest, looks pale and teary eyed. Donnie looks just as emotional as Troy as does DJ and his pregnant wife. Even Max, Stacey, Sandra, and Arthur –the childless ones –seem to have gotten choked up. “You’re paying for our kids to go to college?” Donnie says. I picture Eddie Christmas shopping for Donnie’s kids as Donnie had told me had had done. If Eddie could have done it, he would have paid for every last one of them to be looked after. Eddie didn’t have that kind of money, but I do –especially now that Éclair and I have merged.
Oh, yeah, did I fail to mention that? Shattered Inc. is no more. It’s officially Beauchene-Mont Incorporated; Éclair had been a little cunt about her name appearing first, but whatever –I’m sleeping with her, but she agreed to ditch the pink and silver colors all around the building and restricted the colors just to her office
“Of course we are,” Éclair says in response to Donnie; she’s here with me. Truthfully, the scholarship was her idea –I would have just paid for the kids to go to college, but setting it up as a scholarship organization sponsored by our company will make for a great tax right off at the end of the year. Éclair is a lot more business savvy than me, but I’ve got the creative genius. We actually make for a pretty rock solid pair. Éclair sways slightly as she is standing there; Kate calls it the “mama sway.” I never had really pictured Éclair like this before –pregnant, I mean. She’s one of those high end business types –always so professional, so the pregnant mom-to-be look is a change of pace for me. It’s a good change though. Éclair smiles brightly. “And there is one more thing,” she says, “Beauchene-Mont is opening up a new factory. We’re going to need a new branch manager,” she looks at Kate, “the new building is going to have a daycare center to cater to working moms.”
Kate looks flushed. “Are you two offering me a job?”
“It’s nothing too fancy,” I say, “But with the added bonus of the daycare center, Bobby wouldn’t have to juggle homework, chores, and watching his younger siblings. He could get back into motocross and focus on school. Plus you wouldn’t have to work those long hours or work nightshifts anymore.”
Kate is practically shaking, “Oh my God, thank you both so much. I don’t know what to say.”
“And anyone else, if you’re ever looking for a job, there is a place at Beauchene-Mont for each of you,” Éclair adds.
Nick suddenly pipes up. “Maybe I can come work there?”
“Hell no,” I say, “I already told you –you’re enrolling at that private school this September.”
He slumps down, and I laugh. He’s only been living with me for a couple of months now, but it’s actually going fairly well. He’s a good kid. He accidentally called me dad last week; I pretended not to notice because I think it embarrassed him, but I kind of liked it. “All right,” Tommy chimes in, not one to get too sucked into all of the emotion that’s spreading around the room, “I don’t know about the rest of you guys, but I’m ready to eat.”
“I know I am,” Éclair says excitedly, rubbing her stomach. I had to bring oranges with us because that’s all she’s been eating. She seriously told me to put oranges on her hamburger while I was grilling. Pregnant women are weird.
Food is passed around, and general merriment pursues. It’s sort of strange how I’ve become a part of this family. After Eddie died, I pretty much became the last living member of my family. It was kind of depressing really. After all the craziness that took place last year, I wasn’t sure what my life was going to turn out like. I wouldn’t change a damn thing.
I suppose I should mention that Suzette’s not dead –although she came pretty damn close after Leo hit her head-on with his car. She is, however, in prison where she belongs. I got my money back, but that was a hell of a court case –Lillian is probably about ready to kill me after all that. She also represented Leo for me. It’s sort of scary to think about. Éclair cleared things up for me after we were almost killed. Honestly, Suzette wasn’t too much unlike Eddie. Éclair’s parents had this old school theology, and they left pretty much everything to their oldest child. Suzette just felt like she had to prove herself. Looking back, I sometimes wonder if Eddie and I could have ever gotten to that point. If I had been like Éclair and had just ignored the signs –would Eddie have ever gotten to that point of hatred? I would like to think not. Eddie was too good of a person; I know this for sure after spending time with his siblings.
I pull a lawn chair out for Éclair as she dives into her weird burger with grilled oranges. Seriously –pregnant women weird me out. I sit down beside her, and I smile. I need to put a ring on that. The pregnancy, I’ll admit, was not planned although it was bound to happen eventually. I’m just glad it was with her and not Suzette. That would have been a nightmare. I’m actually really excited about being a father. I’m getting a practice round with Nick, but he’s surprisingly well behaved for a former addict. I’ll
probably get what’s coming to me with whatever we got brewing inside of Éclair’s stomach; I was a hoodlum. They say your kids always pay you back for whatever you put your parents through. I watch the kids running around in the yard; I smile when I picture a little boy or girl running up to me like one of those little rascals.
I smile at Éclair and watch her eat her nasty citrus burger. She catches me staring. “What?” she asks, covering her mouth like she thinks she has food on her face.
“I love you,” I say.
“I love you too,” she says and then suddenly sits up all straight and excited. “I have a secret,” she taunts. “Do you want to know what it is?”
“It depends –are you going to finally tell me what went on between you and Lillian? Because that’s a story I’m dying to hear.” I smile and wink at her; she rolls her eyes at me.
“No, stupid, I know the sex of the baby,” She says, and I get pretty excited. She’s been to three different ultrasounds trying to determine the baby’s sex, but it keeps turning away. My baby is apparently camera shy.
“What is it?” I ask excitedly, and I can see from the corner of my eye a number of on-lookers have turned their ears out way in anticipation of the news.
“It’s a boy,” she says, and I am so thrilled I think I could be sick.
“Th-that’ss, aw-awesome,” Max mumbles.
“Do you two have a name picked out yet?” Tommy asks. “Because I think Tommy is a pretty awesome name.”
I smile, “Yeah, we got a name.”
Éclair and I smile at one another, and we answer in unison, “Eddie.”
When Love Bites: A Bad Boy Billionaire Romance
Bruce Harris and Matt Wilson, mechanics and best friends for more than twenty-five years, share their passion for Harley Davidson motorcycles. Just like every other person on planet Earth decides to do at one point, they decide to take a break. What is better than a road trip across the States?