“Sure, sounds like a good plan to me. Your place or mine?”
“Are you still in Leroy?” Chase asked. When Gordon told him he was, Chase stood up. “Then meet me at my place in thirty minutes. Bring alcohol.”
Chase headed back to the condo and, though he knew getting drunk out of his mind wouldn’t fix anything, for now, it would provide some much-needed oblivion. If he could share that misery with Gordon, who had his own troubles, then all the better.
~ * * * ~
A hundred times over the next day, Annie almost called Chase, almost went to see him. She knew she owed him an explanation, but she wasn’t sure she could even put her feelings into words. She had run away, and she was ashamed of that, but she needed time to get her head on straight. So, as much as she wanted to reach out to Chase, to let him know that he wasn’t the problem, something held her back. By the next afternoon, she knew what she had to do, at least in the meantime. She called Beth to let her know.
“You’re doing what?” Beth asked.
“I’m going to Mom and Ralph’s in Virginia. I need some time to think. You understand that, right? Please, of all the people who know me, you should understand that I need to get away from here. I can’t think when everything I see reminds me of Chase.”
“I guess I understand,” Beth stammered. “But what about Chase?”
“We… I… it’s complicated, Beth. I just need some time, some space. I don’t want to call him right now. I’m not ready for that. Can you let him know that I’ll contact him as soon as I get back?” Annie asked.
“Sure.” Beth sighed. “Why not? Send me to break my brother’s heart. You will be back, won’t you?”
“Yes. I will,” Annie promised. “And soon. I just need a few days to think.”
She hung up and moved forward in line at the ticket counter. There was no going back after she made this purchase, she told herself. Right now, she didn’t want to go back. She wanted her mother. Carly and Ralph had moved to Virginia Beach a couple of years ago, after Carly had been diagnosed with rheumatoid arthritis. It was something they had talked about for a long time and, although Annie had been heartbroken to see them go, she understood the decision. She gave the woman at the counter her ID and confirmation paperwork and, before long, she was boarding her flight. As the city of Louisville receded, she closed her eyes and tried to pretend she wasn’t leaving her heart behind.
Chapter 47
Carly Tucker gave Annie twenty-four hours before she started asking questions. When her daughter had come in the day before looking like a whipped puppy, Carly had known it was bad. It wasn’t until Annie told her about the kidnapping that she realized how bad.
“But the guy’s in custody now, right?”
Annie nodded. “He’s in the hospital, but he’s under twenty-four-hour guard. Even if he could get up and walk away, they’d stop him.” She sipped at the herbal tea her mother had pushed on her. It was a rainy day, and they were curled up on opposite ends of the couch watching the precipitation come down.
“Tell me about Chase Hudson.” Carly smiled, seeing her daughter’s astonished look. “Honey, I still have friends in Leroy. I might be a few states away now, but I still keep up with what’s going on at home.”
“I’m surprised no one’s called you yet to tell you about the kidnapping, then,” Annie muttered. “Chase… let’s see. I was stupid. I let myself get involved. I got scared, and I ran. Here I am.”
“Do you love him?”
Swiping at the tears that wouldn’t be held back, she nodded. “I do, Mom. So much.”
Carly held out a tissue. “Then why did you run? Doesn’t he love you back?”
Annie shrugged. “He says he does.” After a minute, she sighed. “Yes, he does.”
“Then don’t take this the wrong way, but why are you here? Instead of home, wrapped up in the arms of a man who loves you?”
“Because I’m no good for him!” She stood and stalked over to the window, hands shoved into her hair. “Don’t you see, Mom? He’s Chase Hudson. He’s somebody. I’m just the flower shop girl. Sooner or later, he’ll realize that, and he’ll want out. He’ll want kids. Kids whose mother isn’t some drunk’s bastard.” She covered her mouth. “I’m sorry.”
With a groan from her aching joints, Carly stood and walked to her daughter. Taking Annie’s shoulders in her hands, she shook gently. “Annie Willa, never mind that. You’re too smart to act so stupid. Tell me something, how do you know Chase loves you?”
“I… he… he took me to see Nancy Bolen.” She waited to see if Carly knew who she was talking about. When she saw that she did, she continued. “He brought me a book signed by my favorite author. Before it was even out. He told me things he hadn’t told anyone else. When he found out about the baby, he cried. He actually cried, Mom.” Annie started crying in earnest then, and Carly pulled her in tight. She rocked her back and forth as much as she could.
“Mm-hmm, sounds like someone who’s going to just get bored and walk away someday,” she said. “Sweetie, there are no guarantees in this world; you know that. But it sounds to me like you have something with this young man that most people never experience.”
“I did. But I ran away. Oh, God, I’m so stupid,” Annie moaned.
Carly surprised her again by laughing. “You are not stupid, sweetie. You’ve just been burned very badly in the past. I think you’ll find forgiveness if you ask for it. If you don’t get it, then he wasn’t all that and then some, now was he?”
“I don’t know if I can stand it, if Chase doesn’t forgive me. He’s been hurt pretty badly himself, Mom.” She told Carly about Kiely. “It might not be as simple as just walking back in and asking.”
With a rueful smile, Carly pushed Annie’s hair back off her face. “Oh, I would just about guarantee it won’t be simple. It definitely won’t be easy, but hopefully it won’t be too painful.”
~ * * * ~
When Annie finally felt strong enough to head back to Indiana, she knew what she had to do. She knew that nothing short of humbling herself in front of Chase would work. If she had been in his shoes, she would expect nothing less. She had been in his shoes, loving someone who ran, and when she remembered that, it devastated her all over again. She had hurt Chase in the exact same way Rafe had hurt her all those years ago, but somehow she knew the wound was deeper this time. If she had felt for Rafe what she felt for Chase, and he had walked out, it would have almost killed her.
The entire flight home, she tried to convince herself that Chase would forgive her, that her mother was right—if it was real love, he wouldn’t just give up on them—but she didn’t have much success. As she started the drive back from Louisville to Leroy, she passed a store and had a sudden thought about what she could do to help ease things between her and Chase. Turning around, she hurried inside to see if they had what she was looking for. When she found it, she sent a quick prayer heavenward that her plan would work.
Chapter 48
By the Sunday after Travis’ arrest, Chase had reconciled himself to the fact that Annie wasn’t coming back into his life. Beth had let him know about her trip to Virginia and, though he had waited somewhat impatiently, Annie hadn’t contacted him. He had tried calling her, emailing her, all to no avail. She hadn’t answered either form of communication. It was a message Chase couldn’t fail to understand, and yet he still didn’t want to believe Annie had just left.
Her desertion had put him in a foul mood all week, and he grew angrier with each passing day. When he got up Sunday morning, it was almost noon. He had put away more alcohol the night before than was healthy and, as he staggered into the shower, he swore he wouldn’t do it again.
“I’m too old for this kind of shit,” he said as the needles of cold water hit him. He thought seriously about skipping out on the Sunday dinner at his parents’ house, but he knew that would just mean a chewing out from his mother. As much as he dreaded the meal, attendance was not optional. When he got out of the s
hower, he got dressed and went to the kitchen to feed Murphy.
“Hey, buddy. Are you going to eat for me today?” Chase wasn’t the only one who missed Annie, as much as he was loathe to admit it at this point. Murphy had been off his feed for several days. Chase thought he was starting to perk up a little, but he wasn’t sure. If the moping continued, though, Chase was going to have to take him to the vet.
“I messed up somehow, Murphy. I don’t know where, don’t know how…” His voice trailed off. Chase had a suspicion he knew exactly where he had failed, but he wasn’t ready to admit it, not even to Murphy. He had believed Annie’s claims of satisfaction after they’d made love, but now he wondered if she had just been sparing his feelings. “If I had more experience, I’d know,” he growled, raking his hands through his hair. He straightened away from the counter and set his shoulders.
“I have to go. I wish I could take you with me, Murph, but I don’t think that’s a good idea,” he told the small cat as he got ready to leave. “But I won’t stay long, I promise. I just want to get this over with and come home.”
~ * * * ~
“He’s miserable,” Jackie Hudson told her husband as they watched their extended family. The kids and their various counterparts were all out around the pool where Jason had started trying to get Chase to go swimming. Richard wrapped his arms around his wife and leaned back against the kitchen countertop.
“I know. And there’s not a danged thing we can do about it. Jason’s happy, though.”
“That’s true,” Jackie mused. Jason had presented Hannah to them as his fiancée at last week’s dinner, although word had gotten out at the baby shower. “But Chase has been hurt so much in the past. Richard, I just don’t understand. I know Annie loves him. You can see it every time they’re in the same room.”
Richard laid his forehead against hers. “You know what Beth and Ethan had to go through. I hope Chase and Annie don’t have that kind of a battle ahead of them, but I’m afraid they might.” They both watched through the window as Chase settled back on one of the lounges next to Jackie’s father, Sampson, who was sitting in the shade of a large umbrella. “Looks like he’s going to stay a little while longer, anyhow. I’m surprised we were able to keep him here long enough to get him to eat.”
“If Gordon hadn’t called to say he was on his way over, we wouldn’t have. Maybe talking to Daddy will help him,” Jackie said. When the doorbell rang, she pulled out of Richard’s arms with a frown. “That was fast.”
Richard headed toward the front door and, when he saw who it was on the porch, he slowed in surprise. “Jackie, come here.”
She hurried out of the kitchen and was just as shocked as Richard to see who was at the door. “Annie! Well, Richard, let her in.”
He opened the door and held it open while Annie came in the house with a small bouquet of roses. “This is a surprise,” he said, trying to keep his voice and face neutral. Annie looked as nervous as a cat, and he was afraid to say too much, or he might spook her.
“Um, Richard, Jackie, is Chase here? I need to talk to him,” Annie said.
“You’ve hurt our son, Annie. Why should we let you talk to him?” Jackie asked. Though her words were confrontational, her voice was quiet.
“Because I hurt him, that’s why,” Annie replied. “I want to fix things. If he’ll let me. Please.”
Richard and Jackie exchanged a look, and Richard nodded.
“Okay, then. He’s out back with everyone else,” Jackie said, looking at the roses. “I’ll get him for you.”
“No!” Annie said, stopping her. “I… I need to say what I’m here for in front of people. I need to show him I’m serious. Do you understand?”
Richard frowned. “Annie, if you hurt him again…”
Annie pulled a package out of her pocket and showed it to them. “Maybe this will help. It was all I could think of,” she confessed. When Richard saw what she held, he couldn’t prevent a confused smile. Then her meaning sank in, and he laughed.
“Okay. I think we can let you through,” he said. “Good luck, honey.”
Chapter 49
Annie was so scared she could hardly move. She was taking a big, big chance by confronting Chase like this. If it went wrong, she was going to be completely humiliated but, given how she had run earlier in the week, she figured she almost deserved it. She followed Jackie and Richard to the back of the house and waited while they went outside. She could have gone around the side of the house when she pulled up, but she had wanted to do things the right way. Plus, trying the front door first had bought her a few minutes to calm her nerves.
“Chase, you have a visitor,” Richard announced.
When Chase looked up, Annie stepped outside. “Hi,” she said. She ignored everyone else, who had pretty much frozen in place to watch the tableau unfold.
Chase stayed seated, but he straightened and put his feet on the ground. “Well, fancy seeing you here. Nice of you to join us. How was your vacation?” His tone was acidic, and Annie could see that he was holding on to his temper by a thread.
“It was helpful.” She struggled to keep her voice calm. “I accomplished what I needed to.”
“Well, good for you.” Chase picked up his glass and took a long drink of tea, dismissing her.
“We should go in,” Jason said. Around the pool, everyone started to stand, but Annie stopped them.
“I’d rather you didn’t. I think you all need to stay, if you don’t mind. I have something to say to Chase, and I’d like you all to hear it,” she said.
Richard caught Jason’s eye and nodded. “Okay. Then I guess we’ll stay.” He sat back down and waited.
Annie closed her eyes and pulled in a breath; somewhere, she found the strength to move closer to Chase. When she was almost close enough to touch him, she dropped down to one knee and held the flowers out to him. They shook with a fine tremor that she couldn’t control. For the first time since she had stepped out of the house, she felt she had shocked him. A stillness came over him, and some of the anger left his eyes.
“I hurt you. I’m sorry. I was very wrong to leave the way I did, but I was scared, Chase. That doesn’t make it right, but that’s the truth of it. After we left the hospital from seeing Katy, everything hit me, and I just… I ran. No excuses. I ran to my mother.”
“Yeah, I got your message,” he said. “Thanks for that.”
Annie winced, but she couldn’t defend herself. “I owe you some very big apologies, there’s no doubt. I handled things badly. I’m so sorry, sorrier than I can even tell you.” She extended the flowers again. Chase’s eyes dropped to them.
“Take them, please,” she begged.
He sighed and reluctantly took the flowers from her hand. “Kind of a puny bouquet.”
Annie flushed. “Well, I didn’t think about the flowers until I pulled up. I kind of pilfered them from the front of the house. Sorry, Jackie,” she said, not taking her eyes off Chase. When Ethan choked off a laugh behind her, she saw Chase’s lips twitch, a tiny movement, but a flicker of a smile, no less.
“In any event, it’s supposed to be the thought that counts, right?” she asked. “So anyhow, speaking of that thought, none of this past week has been about you, or us. It’s been about me. I needed to know that what I was doing, what I was feeling, that it was right. That I wasn’t hurting you by being in your life, Chase. I had to accept myself before I could accept us. Do you understand?”
Very carefully, Chase laid the flowers on the table beside him. “I guess I understand. This was about your past? All this week, this not hearing from you. This not knowing?”
Annie nodded. “It was. So I wanted to come here today to tell you that. And I wanted to tell you something else, too.” Her throat closed up, and she had to take some deep breaths in order to clear it. “God, this is so hard.”
“Just say it, Annie. Get it over with,” Chase said quietly. From the way his eyes had shuttered, Annie realized he thought she was breaking u
p with him for good.
“I love you. Okay? You make me so happy, Chase, and I don’t want to spend another day without you.” She fumbled with the watch-sized jewelry box and finally managed to get the thing open. She turned it toward Chase and, throwing all her cards on the table, said, “Will you marry me, Richard Chase Hudson? Share your life with me? And your crazy, sweet cat?”
~ * * * ~
Chase’s heart was thudding so hard, he was sure the entire family could hear it. When Annie had walked out of the house, he thought he knew why she was here. When she apologized, he knew without a doubt it was over. Why she was telling him in front of everyone else, he couldn’t figure out, but he had been the one who made her promise to break it off to his face. He figured he didn’t have anyone else to blame when she kept that promise.
But when she had pulled out the watch box and asked him to marry her, all rational thought had left his brain. He didn’t know how much time had passed, but someone cleared their throat, and Annie lowered the hand that held the box. She knee-walked a little closer and held it out again.
“Chase? Please say something?” she asked. He finally was able to move his gaze to the box and, when he did, the contents startled a laugh out of him. He tried to stop, but the laughter still spilled out. Reaching out, he took the box from her.
“Oh, God. What am I supposed to do with this?” he asked, a few chuckles escaping as he lifted the sparkling, decorated cat collar out of the box. “Annie?”
Annie’s cheeks were bright flags of red, and she shrugged. “I thought about a ring, but you’re not into fancy jewelry. I couldn’t just come in here and propose empty-handed. I passed a pet store on the way here, and I just thought… Well, with Murphy…” Her voice died off.
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