‘I need to share it with Will.’
Adam closed his eyes. ‘He must hate me for what I’ve done.’
‘Will doesn’t hate people. You’re still his mate, but he was confused and angry. Like me.’
‘I’m sorry. I am a coward. I couldn’t handle what happened – I still can’t handle it …’ The agony was etched on his features. Jess wanted to reach out to him. He looked as if his world had ended.
‘You’re not a coward. Don’t say that.’
‘It’s true …’ He swallowed hard and tears glistened in his eyes. ‘I have to go.’
‘No, wait.’
‘Goodbye, Jess,’ he said, turned around and walked briskly down the beach before she could say another word. She stopped herself from following him, realising that he couldn’t hold in his emotions any longer and that he needed privacy.
Jess lingered on the beach, unable to move. Tears spilled out and ran down her own cheeks. She definitely couldn’t go home yet. Her mind and heart were full to bursting with Adam’s revelations about his family. He was overwhelmed with grief and probably depressed too. Over the past fifteen minutes, so many things about their break-up had fallen into place but it still felt as though he hadn’t told her everything and while he refused to trust her, she was as helpless as ever.
Chapter 26
Gaby pulled the duvet back over her head. No matter how much she’d wished it away, the day of doom had finally arrived: the final day of the championships. It was sunny May Bank Holiday Sunday: a day when she could have been visiting the Abbey Gardens, or lazing with her friends on one of the uninhabited island beaches with a picnic and a coolbox full of beers.
Instead she found herself jolted from a fitful sleep by Will banging on doors and barking like an Army sergeant to check that everyone was awake and reminding them to ‘assemble at 07.30 in the farmhouse kitchen for a pre-race breakfast and briefing’.
The championships were taking place just off St Mary’s harbour and there was only one way to get the gig over to the start from St Saviour’s: row it themselves. Luckily the swell was gentle and the winds light because the conditions would have had to be storm force before the race was cancelled.
Having managed the crossing without incident, and feeling her nerves abating a little, Gaby helped to drag the Athene onto the harbour beach in Hugh Town alongside the other boats.
The butterflies took flight as soon as she saw the crowds in the harbour and town. The three-way race with Petroc and Gull had been one thing, but this was on another scale. Scores of rowers in shorts, vests and flip-flops swarmed around dozens of gigs from all over Cornwall and the south-west. Hundreds of supporters and onlookers milled around the harbourside so any cock-ups would be conducted in the full glare of the crowds.
Everyone was laughing and chattering with excitement. It was obviously regarded as the party of the year and the smell of barbecues and beer filled the air, as rowing clubs and spectators made a day of it. At least the weather was reasonable. High winds and seas the previous week had subsided, although Gaby had been secretly hoping for a mammoth storm and the whole thing to be cancelled. She was petrified of letting her crew down by collapsing with exhaustion, capsizing the gig or both.
Because of Will’s paranoia, the St Saviour’s boat was one of the first off-island boats into the harbour. Their race was over an hour and a half away, which gave her a break, but also far too much time to think about the impending ordeal.
Will bustled about making sure the gig was undamaged, registering with the marshals and checking everyone was OK. Petroc’s boat rowed in shortly after, with its long-limbed athletic crew hopping onto the sand, as fresh as if they’d been for a Sunday picnic on a boating lake. Gaby recognised a lot of the rowers, a mix of veterans, newbies like herself, plus the odd scarily fit hunk like Luca.
The rest of the St Saviour’s team was made up of Jess, Natalia, Will, Robbie and Lawrence with Len as the cox. Although he didn’t row these days, and was harsher on the crew than Captain Bligh, Len knew the waters around the isles like the back of his hand.
Gaby couldn’t help comparing their boats. The vintage Athene had been carefully restored and was a thing of beauty, but she also showed her age next to some of the modern vessels. Not that she had the slightest delusions of winning the race: she fully expected to come in last, but hopefully not embarrassingly far behind and preferably without needing the aid of the orange RNLI boat moored in the harbour. Despite enjoying the banter and bonding between the crew members, she couldn’t wait to get it over and hopefully give up rowing once she’d fulfilled her promise.
Jess caught her grimacing at the lifeboat. ‘We’ll be fine, you know,’ she said, patting her on the back.
‘I hope so. Don’t tell Will, but I’ll be so bloody glad when it’s all over.’
‘Me too,’ said Jess, ‘but it means a lot to Will so I have to show a bit of enthusiasm.’
‘I don’t,’ said Gaby, thinking how well Jess looked lately. Her cheeks glowed and she’d lost the haunted look she had since Adam left. Even though he was back, she was still smiling more often than not and Gaby was sure that must have a lot to do with Luca. He’d been up to the farm numerous times and it had been hard not to notice – or hear – that Jess had been staying over on Petroc.
‘Gaby? Feeling OK?’ Jess asked.
Gaby smiled, glad Jess couldn’t read her real thoughts. ‘Actually, I feel crap, but I’ll get over it,’ she joked.
Jess smiled back encouragingly but her attention was quickly diverted away from Gaby by Luca. They exchanged waves before he said something to his crew, and left them to haul their gleaming craft onto the beach while he joined Jess.
Not wanting to play gooseberry, Gaby wished Luca good luck – though she didn’t really mean it, of course – then left them to it. Checking she wasn’t needed, Gaby took her chance to join the queue for the Portaloos that had been stationed on the green behind the beach.
When she’d finally made it out of the loos, Natalia was waiting for her on the steps above the beach. They could see Jess and Luca on the beach. A few yards away on the promenade above it, were Keri, Emmy and Adam. It was common knowledge by now that they were Adam’s sister-in-law and niece, and that there had been a family tragedy involving a long-lost brother and his father. Jess herself had mentioned very brief details to her but not elaborated, although Gaby suspected she knew more about the situation than anyone else on Scilly.
Seeing Adam with his new family, Gaby felt deeply sorry for his loss. From his haggard appearance and remarks from people who had known him well, she could see he had been, and was still suffering from, the double bereavement. If she’d known him better she might have gently hinted that he could talk to her about the loss of his brother but she was nowhere near close enough to him to even offer.
Emmy held her mum’s hand tightly and Adam was crouched down beside her, pointing out the ferry in the harbour. The little girl giggled at something he’d said. At least his niece had brought a smile to his face, she thought.
‘I bet Luca doesn’t like him being back,’ said Natalia in a loud voice.
Gaby watched Luca run his hands through his hair like he was in a shampoo ad. He put his arm around Jess who laughed.
‘He’s lucky to have Jess,’ said Gaby loyally.
‘Her ex isn’t very happy about it.’
Natalia was right about that. Adam was too far away to be able to hear his conversation, but Gaby could see that his body language had changed as soon as he noticed Jess and Luca. A shriek of laughter came from the beach as Luca swept Jess into his arms and pretended to dump her into the Petroc boat. Adam’s mouth was set in a hard line, then Emmy tugged his sleeve and he smiled broadly. He said something to Keri, took Emmy’s hand and headed off into the crowds with them both.
Gaby checked her watch. There was still an hour to go to the race, but time would fly by as they made their final checks, listened to Will’s pep talk and rowed out to the
start line.
‘We’d better get back to the boat before Will starts panicking,’ she said.
Natalia sighed. ‘I wish we could skip the race and go straight to the pub.’
‘Great idea, but Will would never forgive us. Let’s get down to the boat. The sooner we get this over with, the better.’
They hurried down the steps from the harbour to the beach, threading their way through the rowers. A small crowd had gathered by one of the beach tents and judging by the green uniforms, they were paramedics.
‘Someone’s had an accident,’ said a man next to Gaby and Natalia. ‘I think it’s one of your crew. Looks like your race is over before it’s begun.’
‘What?’ Gaby and Natalia were forced to push their way past people to reach the Athene, where a small crowd had gathered.
To their horror, Lawrence was being loaded onto a mobile stretcher, wincing in pain.
Will was next to him, patting his arm. ‘Sorry, mate. Hope it’s not too serious.’
Natalia rushed to his side. ‘Oh my God, is he going to die?’
‘No, I’m bloody not,’ Lawrence called. ‘But it feels like it.’
One of the medics planted a mask on his face. ‘Breathe this. It’ll help with the pain.’
‘What happened?’ Gaby asked Jess.
‘Lawrence was fooling around on the harbourside, lost his footing and fell. He might have broken his ankle but he landed on sand, so it’s not too serious,’ said Jess. ‘Very painful though. Poor Lawrence.’
‘Does this mean the race is off?’ Natalia asked, with a hopeful smirk.
‘I guess so … Lawrence, I’ll come with you to the hospital!’ Jess said as the paramedics started to drag the trolley off the harbour sand.
Lawrence ripped the mask off his face. ‘No, you bloody won’t. You’ve got a race to win.’
‘We can’t carry on without you, mate,’ said Will, walking alongside him.
Gaby and the others joined him by the ambulance. Gaby bit her lip. Relief that she wouldn’t have to row after all was tinged by guilt as Lawrence yelped in pain. Did it make her evil that she was glad their race was off?
‘We have to get Lawrence to the hospital,’ said the medic. ‘He needs an X-ray asap.’
Lawrence groaned.
The paramedic patted his arm. ‘I’d use that gas, if I were you mate. It’s going to be a bumpy ride up the quay and through these crowds.’
‘I will once my team promise to carry on,’ said Lawrence.
‘But we’re one oar short,’ said Robbie, his red hair standing on end.
Lawrence clutched Will’s arm in a vice-like grip. ‘Find someone!’ he said, pulling some horrible faces. ‘We’ve worked too hard to quit now. Ow …’ He clamped the mask back on his face as the medics finally loaded him into the ambulance.
Jess watched him leave, and held up her phone. ‘Poor Lawrence. I’ve called his girlfriend. She’s going to meet him at the hospital.’
Will shoved his hands through his hair while the ambulance sounded its siren a few times to warn people to get out of the way. Gaby thought he looked beaten, but then he suddenly clapped his hands. ‘Right, you lot. We have thirty minutes to find another rower to take Lawrence’s place. Everyone get out there and try and persuade someone from another crew to join us in the Mixed race.’
Gaby’s heart plunged. Surely they weren’t still going to row. Oh God, what if they couldn’t find anyone and Will made them join in with only five crew members? She might have an actual heart attack.
‘But all the veteran men are already racing today, Will. They won’t want to join us after that. They’ll be knackered,’ Jess said patiently.
‘Even if there’s time to find someone,’ added Gaby, ‘which there isn’t …’
Will’s mouth was set in a determined line. ‘I don’t care. Try.’
‘What about Luca?’ Jess asked after a pause. ‘I suppose I could ask if he’ll swap sides and put one of the Petroc veteran men in the Mixed.’
Will groaned. ‘No way. He won’t do that. Petroc are hoping to win and he won’t jeopardise their chances. Hell, they will win, but I at least wanted to give him a bloody run for his money. And so does Lawrence,’ he added quickly.
‘What about Patrick and Maisie? They might know someone,’ Robbie piped up.
‘Good idea … I’ll go and ask them. But everyone who can row is already rowing. It’s a long shot, but let’s at least try and find someone,’ said Will desperately.
Len stood by and folded his arms. ‘We’re doomed, but I knew this was a crap idea in the first place.’
‘I’m not sure that’s helpful, Len,’ said Gaby, even though she partly agreed.
‘Yeah, shut up, Len,’ said Will.
Len’s jaw dropped. ‘Suit yourselves. I’ll keep an eye on the boat while you lot waste your time.’
‘What he really means is he’ll have a fag,’ muttered Jess as Robbie and Natalia scooted off.
‘I don’t know anyone who could help,’ said Gaby, feeling sorry for Will. ‘Look. Luca’s coming over.’
Luca joined them on the slipway. ‘I just heard about your crew member. Is it serious?’
‘Suspected broken ankle,’ said Jess.
He pulled a sympathetic face. ‘That’s hard luck. You worked so hard to get fit to compete too.’
‘We still intend to compete,’ said Will curtly.
Luca gasped. ‘You don’t mean with only five of you?’
Will folded his arms. ‘If we have to, yeah.’
Gaby saw Jess cringe. ‘Don’t be stupid, Will. You know we can’t.’
‘Bad luck, mate,’ said Luca, patting Will on the arm. ‘Unless you’re strong enough to take the place of two of your crew.’
Gaby winced but Will looked up at the crowds on the quayside, a smile of grim determination appearing on his face. ‘I may not be strong enough to row for two, but I know a man who is.’
Chapter 27
Will had homed in on Adam who was chatting to his family on the promenade a few yards away. Jess was surprised to see Keri and Emmy but guessed they must be visiting for the holiday weekend, but her main concern now was that Will clearly intended to persuade Adam to make up their crew.
‘No … You wouldn’t …’
‘I’ll be back in five.’ Will patted her arm and headed off in Adam’s direction.
‘I have to go after him!’ Jess told Luca and darted off before he could even reply. However, Will was already halfway up the steps to the prom about to be met by Adam at the top. Jess threw her hands in the air. ‘Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.’
A few rowers glanced at her but immediately went back to the business of preparing their boats. Jess was surrounded by more people than she’d ever seen on Scilly, yet felt completely alone. She should go back to Luca: could see his head at the centre of a knot of Petroc rowers. She’d left him abruptly and rudely and he didn’t deserve that.
But having Adam in their crew? It was too much.
She’d seen him around St Saviour’s several times since their conversation on the beach. It was impossible not to have come across him, but they hadn’t spoken again beyond a nod or a muttered hello and he hadn’t said anything about Keri and Emmy coming back. Not that it was any of her business now. Over the past couple of weeks, she’d carried on seeing Luca, and stayed over on Petroc several times. Luca was as charming as ever and had listened thoughtfully when she’d told him who Keri and Emmy really were. It was tough on Adam, he’d said, but if he’d wondered if the situation might affect their fledging relationship, he hadn’t shared his fears with Jess.
Knowing Adam was on the island had made it harder to ‘carry on as normal’ with Luca, but Jess kept reminding herself that her relationship with Adam had effectively been over since the previous autumn. Life had to go on: for everyone’s sake, Adam had been clear enough about that when he’d spoken to her. Adam joining the crew for one race shouldn’t have meant anything but it did and it felt way too close f
or comfort.
In despair, she turned away and trudged back to the boat. Luca was still there.
‘I didn’t mean to snap. It’s a fraught time with Will so hellbent on us doing this race and Lawrence’s accident and …’
‘And seeing Adam again.’ He slipped his arm around her. ‘It must be strange to see him back here.’
‘Everything changes. I have to accept that.’ She smiled. ‘I’m a grown-up.’
‘Not everything has to change … I plan on staying the rest of the summer until my contract runs out and then … I was going to tell you this after the race, but Hugo’s been hinting at a permanent position as marketing director for the resort. I could take it.’
Jess was taken aback that Luca might want to stay on. She’d been enjoying their fling but never expected it to go on any longer. ‘But your home’s in London. Even working at Petroc can’t be as prestigious or lucrative as your freelance business.’
‘It gives me more security and it’s further away from Rachel. Not that I need to run away, but perhaps the balance in favour of a fresh start has shifted recently.’ He trailed his hand down Jess’s back.
Out of the corner of her eye she saw Will and Adam engaged in heated conversation.
‘You wouldn’t be happy in this small place, Luca. You belong to a big sophisticated world.’ She didn’t really know him, she thought, despite their nights at the resort.
He laughed. ‘Sophisticated? The truth is, I don’t know where I belong since Rachel and I split up. My whole world and future were turned on their heads and I’m guessing yours were too, but we should both focus on the here and now.’
He was right, thought Jess, but it was the wrong time for this kind of conversation.
‘If we’re focusing on the now, I’m supposed to find another crew member and I’d rather it wasn’t Adam. You can’t help, can you?’
‘If I wasn’t committed to our boat already, I swear I would, but it’s not possible. My own crew are all taken too and keen to win the race. And I can’t think of anyone else. I don’t know the other crews like you do.’
Spring on the Little Cornish Isles: Flower Farm Page 22