by Douglas R.
"Then what did you mean by that!"
"Myla, calm down. Listen to me." My chest has started to heave. "Right now you're in a very crucial point of your development. Cinder tried to run you quick today. Artemis gave him the order to do so. I wanted you to have more time to advance as you should but—"
"There's not enough time?" I finish for her. My gaze slowly turns up to the sky. I remember the recent Shielding. The light enveloping the sky flashes once more in my mind. And now it all begins to make sense. "He's here, isn't he?"
Thea stares back at me, speechless.
I scream.
I'm loud. I'm enraged.
I'm piercing the sky.
I catch my breath. I've never felt a terror like this in my entire life, "Stretaka, is here for me!"
"He can't come through the shield! You're safe here."
"Stretaka is here for me and I can't talk to my own family!"
Thea reaches for my shoulders again, "Myla, you wouldn't understand."
At her touch my insides flare with rage. The Kronite explodes all over me, covering my ankles, wrists and neck bone. In a moment too quick for a second thought I push her away from me and she stumbles along the railings, perplexed at my guts.
"Because I don't speak bullshit!"
I storm away, back into the Major Tower. Thea doesn't call me back. She knows when she's crossed a line. And I know when I've had enough.
18
I've never been suicidal before. Not in any way. But I was so fed up. If I hadn't pushed Thea away and stormed off I think I would have easily jumped off the railings. It's a long way down. I think you could probably count to a hundred before you hit the ground. In retrospect, I think I'd count to five before Thea would orb up and save me.
Sleep is the only time I can let go of Pandor and its drama and fall into something that doesn't have to make sense to me. That just has to listen to my feelings and create a reality I will enjoy for a few hours until I wake.
This time again, I find myself running through the woods as if looking for something. Or maybe I'm running away from something I don't want. Or perhaps just for the sake of running.
I stop at a meadow. A weird but dazzling place. There's no sun in the sky, just a blanket of blue and pink hues filled with stars. The world is kindled in a light of its own. Not too bright, just the right kind to make you feel warm. And there's no anger or upsetting feelings here. It's peaceful. And not the Hypnotic tones kind of peace. But a real and genuine peace. A peace that knows your name, knows the kind of shit you have to go through, respects that and gives you a nice guest room in its shelter. It's funny how the real things lie in my dreams.
Then again, this isn't that much of a dream. The connection I have with everything around me is just too surreal. It's like all of this is inside of me and knows me. Like in some way I created it. And it baffles me by its beauty.
I stroll into the meadow where I can see sharp mountains trying to pin point the stars.
"Myla?"
I freeze under the dazzling sky. The leaves crunch behind me. A warm finger finds its way into my hand and my Kronite quietly begins to spread into my clothes.
"Woah!" he backs away and I turn to see the shock on his face. He points at my chest as the Kronite curves over my breasts. "What the hell is that?"
"Hi, Blake." There's a part of me that's not surprised to see him, and another that wouldn't care less. He still appears startled so I break it to him. "It's called Kronite. A living metal. It protects me from those who cause harm." I glance downward as it wraps itself over my ankles. "I guess it doesn't like you."
"Okay..." He takes a step back. "Can you tell your Kronite to back away for a sec. I come in peace."
"And leave me in tears," my hands ball into fists now. There's a soft spot that is happy he is here but I'm not going to open up easy just to get hurt all over again. "I've learned my lesson, Blake."
"Look, I'm sorry for what I said."
"How can you be sorry for being honest?"
"Maybe..." He sighs. "This is new for me, okay? Dreaming with you freaked me out at first. This has never happened to me before. And I didn't like to make you cry."
I am baffled at how easy I let down my guard. The Kronite seeps back into my belt and I'm no longer gloom and grey and dangerous.
"Me too."
Blake smiles. "You look less life threatening now that's gone."
I can't tell you how it happens but when I open my mouth I laugh. Like I've forgotten everything else. "You were scared?"
Blake comes closer, close enough to hold my hand again and when he does I don't want him to let go. "We don't have living metal in Alaska apparently. Or Earth for that matter."
A big red billboard jumps in my mind: Earth. Loser Planet! My guesses were Meteora or Heamus. Of all places?
Act right, Myla, don't let him see this on your face!
"So what do you have that might interest me?"
He reaches into his shirt and pulls out something I am glad to see again.
"You don't mind if I return this?" he places his iPod in my hand.
"What do you mean return? It belongs to you."
"Not anymore."
The iPod turns in my hands so preciously I wouldn't even let Rhiannon touch it. Maybe Mylo. If I ever see him again I'd let him hold it, if I could.
I turn back to Blake, "So this means you like me now?"
He pats his thighs with his hands. "Well... you are beautiful." Then his eyes linger on me but they dance around my face and body so quick it's hard to find out what exactly he's looking at. What's harder is getting my own eyes to lock on his. My blood is boiling but I feel in control.
His eyes finally stop at my lips and my heart pounds. The words jump out of my mouth, so ready and so impatient. "Kiss me."
He chuckles, bringing his hand behind my shoulder as he... as he plays with my hair!
"Did you get that from a song too?"
Then his fingers touch my lips and my arm finds his back. He doesn't wait for an answer.
He moves his face in but my nervousness causes me to pull back. I'm dumbstruck in the moment as Blake stares at me.
"You okay?"
I'm ruining this!
I can't let this opportunity slip away. I pull myself back and make it happen. This time it's right. Well, at least I think it is. His soft lips are moving over mine and I am holding him close, so desperately.
Blake backs me up against a tree and devours me. He pushes my hair back and I feel so tight in his embrace. He kisses, he bites, he touches, he does everything and it's so right. It's so perfect and strong. Stronger than all of my strengths combined.
I barely breathe when he comes back with his lips again. I let loose and dance in this fire. My fingers find his shirt and I'm ripping off his buttons, his chest now bare against my body, his heat driving me insane.
I taste him and like him and love him, all that he is. He's all that I want, all I have right now and all I need to be the happiest girl in the universe. When he pulls out I roll my head back and scream at the stars. He laughs into my shoulder and calls me crazy.
The he moves in to kiss my neck. My heart is pounding against my chest. He's turned me into a phoenix. I'm bursting into flames. I am becoming ecstasy.
I wrap my arms around him and rest my head on his shoulder. He continues to kiss my neck and I close my eyes. It's the only thing in the world in want to feel. I lose track of how long we kiss. Time doesn't matter. When he finally stops my face is wet.
"You're a mean kisser."
I take his hand. "And you're mine."
I lead him into the meadow like he's my own. And sit down. I roll his iPod in my hands and remember what I asked him before.
"Thanks for the iPod. I love it."
He shrugs. "I love you... possibly."
He grins at the look on my face and I fight the blush.
"And there's a chance I could love you too."I give him his iPod. "Your favorite songs?"
"They'r
e too many."
"Play them all."
"That's a lot of songs we're talking about."
"Pick one."
He scrolls his song list and plugs one earphone into my left ear, the other in his right. "Safe and Sound by Fall Out Cities. I can say they're my favorite band."
He wraps his arm around my waist and lies on the grass. I follow and rest my head beside his. The music plays.
"Woah," Blake stares out. "That sky is awesome."
"I know. The song too."
There are no beats. Just a gentle strum.
"Acoustic guitars," says Blake.
"I've never seen a guitar before."
"Watch the music videos in the video app."
"You mean the little box written video?"
"Yeah."
"I'll check them out."
We listen to a lot of music. All the songs are awesome. But nothing can match up to the kisses I shared with this boy. My lips are burning and they still want more.
"I almost forgot to give you this." Blake hands me another shiny device. But it's thicker than the iPod and has a lens in the front.
"A camera?" I guess.
"Yeah," he smiles. "You know how it works?"
"I think so."
"I told a friend of mine about you and he wants to see Pandor. Well, I want to too but he gave me the idea of giving you a camera."
"You talk about me?" Like it's the only thing I heard.
"Only with my two best friends."
I can't help the smile on my face. And why would I? He's talking about me!
"Sure. I'll take pictures for you." I press a button and the camera comes on. "How about us?"
"Why not?" he edges closer and I raise the camera over our faces, hoping I've got the right distance.
"A little closer."
I pull back a few inches and when the air is warm and everything feels right, I capture the moment in a flash. All that I've dreamed of and all that I've asked. All in one flash that leaves me on my bed with one hand still stretched into the air, the camera still in my grip.
Blake's iPod is beside my waist, one earphone in my ear, the other dangling off the edge of my bed. The smile on my face is so big I could swallow the camera if it dropped. I turn it around and on the little screen is a perfect picture of a perfect moment, framed in that little box.
19
"You kissed her!" Sherri throws her arms up.
"I thought you'd do better than that," says Matty.
Sherri shoots him a glare and elbows his side. "Ouch!"
Blake watches his friends's reactions from the other side of the table at Five O'clock. Their Xtra-literature book for the year, The Hunger Games rests in the middle of their POP, chicken rolls and garlic bread.
"She got my camera?"
"Yeah," says Blake.
"Oh no," Sherri buries her face on the table. Her hands fall on her head.
"Awesome man!"
"Guys, is this right?" says Sherri. "Oh wait," she looks up and swipes a glance around them. "I'm asking the wrong people."
"What could go wrong?" says Blake.
"For starters you kissed her. Now she thinks you love her and who knows..." Sherri's eyes turn to slits, laser-focused on a fact she can't believe she missed was right there on his face. "... unless you really do like her!"
"Well..." Blake searches for a word to begin with but he can't defend the truth and Matty begins to laugh and point fingers while stuffing chicken rolls with his other hand.
"You should join the cast for Harry Potter and the Girl from Outer Space," Sherri takes her POP and drinks it all down.
"What's wrong with an inter-galactical relationship?" says Matty.
"Everything is wrong with that! Every darn spooky thing!"
"What about that movie... uh what was it..."
"The Girl From Mars." says Blake.
Matty snaps his fingers. "Yeah. The Girl From Mars. The dude had a crush on this alien girl who came to earth and they got married. See? There's nothing wrong with showing some love."
Sherri pouts and turns away. She stares back at the chicken rolls, eyes empty like she's lost her appetite.
"If it makes you better, there's no way she can come to earth. So you don't have to fret on that," says Blake.
Sherri stares out the glass wall. "That's all right. I already got my own pain in the ass right here."
When Blake turns to the window and sees Charlie sauntering toward the café Sherri is already out of her seat and heading for the door beside the counter.
"Sherri, hold up!" Blake races up to her.
"I've got to get back to my job, Blake. Can we talk later?"
He takes her hand and begins to lead her to the door. "No."
"Whatever, let's do this quick," she slides her beanie over the back of her head and follows Blake outside as Charlie waltzes right by them and takes a seat beside Matty.
"So?"
Sherri sighs, "Matty's splitting his time. Like now we were sitting together but when she shows up, I get to my job. It's better that way."
They slowly walk across the curb, almost as if eavesdropping on the customers on the other side of the glass.
"Doesn't seem like you like the plan."
"What else can we do? If Matty's gonna keep dating Charlie then this is the best compromise. I don't want him to do drugs again."
Blake gives her an empathetic look before turning to their blue truck. "Okay. Time for a blue truck talk."
It's something they've been doing for years. They sit on the edge of the trunk of the pickup and... pretty much just talk about whatever is bothering them. Especially when someone's got some great advice.
Blake shows her to the back of the pickup and they carry themselves onto the truck. He taps the blue metallic edge, "Right here."
She slides closer. They gaze out at the grass, the scattered flowers and the blue sky that could easily put a smile on her face if she had a glass of orange juice.
"What do you want?"
"What do I want?" says Sherri.
"Yeah. For yourself."
She takes a deep breath. "I want... to be happy. I want my best buddy here," she nudges him, "...to be happy. And I want... a guy who doesn't treat me like trash. Who can acknowledge what I feel and handle me carefully like a melting candle."
"Because he knows you got flames," Blake strokes her hair and she laughs.
"Yup! My flames. They can burn ya!"
"Ow!" Blake whisks his hand off her hair and blows his finger. "Too hot!"
"Haha, careful next time," she leans in and he puts his arm around her. "What about you? And your new dream girl?"
"What haven't I told you?"
"Do you really like her?"
Blake is silent for a while. She can sense the doubt. "You're not sure?"
He looks down and shakes his head. "It's weird. You know? The I-am-too-young-for-this weird."
"I getcha."
"I like her. And I also don't want to see her again. But then I get excited with each dream. I want someone normal."
"Trust me, normal just ends up breaking your heart. Normal sucks. Maybe I'd like Myla a bit more if I had dreams of some sexy Italian from Jupiter who's never seen a girl before so he's just crazy about me."
Blake comes quick, "You need a boyfriend."
"I do," Sherri chuckles. "And you need to get your shit straight, sooo..."
She gets off the truck and jogs to the grass at the edge of the parking lot. She returns with a blue flower with plenty of petals.
"What is this?"
"A flower, dumbass," she smiles as he reaches down for it. "You love her?" She bobs her head with a sad face. "Or you love her not? Start plucking, man. I got a job to get back to."
Sherri heads back inside. Blake sighs, turning his attention to the flower.
She's got to be kidding!
He begins to pluck the petals off, one by one and then two by two to pace up. I love her. I don't. I love her. I don't. Da
mmit! There are so many petals on this flower! What kind is this anyway? I love her. I don't. I love her. I don't...
He takes a glance back at the bakery and Sherri is serving a cappuccino to an old man. She bends up and there's a moment of eye contact that is quickly broken when she turns her attention to another customer. Blake returns to the blue flower.
Three more petals.
I don't.
I love her.
One last petal.
If I loved someone would I ever doubt it?
20
The milk-white metallic walls surround me like a well. When I spread my arms my palms almost touch the icy cold surface. I look through a narrow and vertical strip of glass in the wall, to the other side, where the entire team is watching me. Cinder stands beside Rhiannon, studying me on his Nanotop. There is a flock of scientists operating the equipment, seated in concentric rows going all around the facility. And there is an Elder today.
Phoebe.
After my outstanding performance yesterday they are now rushing me to advanced orb trainings. They expect me to fly in a week. That's why Phoebe is here today. To watch everything for himself. His arms are crossed over his white robe, eyes shooting at me like laser beams.
"On three!" says Rhiannon. I pick him up in the bud in my ear. Apart from his voice, everything else in here is utter silence, vacant and ghostly and making the air still and solid. My heartbeats are like a drum in my chest, pounding as I hear the countdown. I take a deep breath and straddle my legs.
This should be easy.
On three I raise my arms up, forming a star posture and as easily as yesterday, the energy flows, forming an orb around me instantly.
Rhiannon and a couple of scientists share a short round of claps. Phoebe is motionless. Still eyeing me like I'm lunch.
"Alright, Myla. Here's the big one!"
I gaze above my head. The round ceiling opens to reveal a gigantic bulb. I have to fly there. This is the part I've never really done well before.
"Now up!"
But it's easy. I tilt my palms to the walls and there I go. Off the floor and into the air. Phoebe's killer shark gaze follows me up until the glass strip is no more as I travel into the bulb, where they can only see me on their Macrotop monitors.
I fly into a vast space. The expanse walls are a mosaic of triangles, glittering in blue and red. They begin to flash. First a few and then many. I wander up into the center of the bulb where I am washed in a crossfire of blue and red, fighting for dominance. They keep flashing all over the bulb like a million photographs, without any logical order.