by Kirby Crow
Scarlet handed over the soap with a trembling hand. He leaned forward in the water, averting his eyes and clasping his hands together under the water. Liall stroked the slippery crescent across Scarlet's back, his dark fingers kneading into white skin, easing the knots he found there. Scarlet's head tipped back instinctively and he gave a little purring noise of enjoyment.
Liall felt himself beginning to grow taut and hard between his legs. Laced through his excitement was a tendril of fear. He could almost deal more easily with the fear. This was dangerous, for he had already had it proven to him, in the plainest of terms, that he was quite susceptible to being overwhelmed by sensation when it came to Scarlet. He had committed more unwise acts in the past two months than he had in the ten years previous. Scarlet clouded his senses, tainted everything with an aura of eroticism, just by being near him. Liall wanted him desperately, wanted to lie with him, be inside of him, taste Scarlet's mouth and skin as Scarlet came helplessly for him, crying out his name.
The soap slipped from Liall's grasp and vanished in the water. Too late, Liall realized that his hands had roamed to Scarlet's chest, and that he was caressing more than he was washing. Scarlet turned his head.
Liall gazed into Scarlet's incredibly dark eyes. They were wide and black, and his lips were parted in fear or passion. They were both slightly out of breath, Liall still frozen, Scarlet trembling on the verge of action.
"Liall?"
Liall moved his hand to the back of Scarlet's neck, and he moved his fingers through the wet strands there, the sensation grounding him into the present. But Scarlet seemed to need him to say something, to give some sign.
"What is it?"
Scarlet searched Liall's pale eyes, and then slowly scanned the lines of Liall's face, taking in the shapes of the man as if he could learn Liall like a lesson to heart. Finally, his gaze returned to Liall's eyes, and he gave a thin, sad smile. The water rippled as Scarlet lifted his shoulders in a small shrug.
"I love you, Liall."
The confession caught Liall completely unprepared. He had never had those particular words handed to him in such a self deprecating way, as if Scarlet was offering him a poor gift and had to apologize for the lack. Liall licked his lips before speaking.
"Since I came to the Southern Continent I have only had whores, mercenary soldiers, and bhoros boys. I do not know how to behave with someone like you."
"Like me?"
"A man with honor."
Scarlet's expression flickered. His smile grew warmer, and he lifted his hand out of the water and cupped Liall's face. “I won't be offended if you touch me, you stupid Kasiri bastard. I want you to."
Liall's breath caught and he gave a weak sounding moan and pulled Scarlet to him, covering that beautiful mouth with his own, framing Scarlet's face between his wet hands and kissing the younger man hungrily. His tongue sought entrance between Scarlet's lips and he moaned again and stroked inside the pedlar's mouth sweetly. He needed Scarlet to understand, and words were such a barrier. Liall tried to communicate what he felt, striving to transfer to Scarlet, by touch of tongue and teeth and lips, how much his love was returned.
They were both shaking when Liall drew back. “T'aishka,” Liall gasped, daring to take another kiss, to suck the wet, lush, lower lip gently into his mouth. He moaned and flicked his tongue against Scarlet's, driving into the heat of that lovely mouth. Liall wanted to pull Scarlet out of the water and throw him onto the bunk, cover his naked body with kisses and drown in him, but he was afraid to. So very afraid. They were both too shadowed, too full of fear and distrust and echoes of things neither of them would name.
Whose fear? Liall asked himself. Is it really Scarlet you are trying to protect?
Scarlet's hands touched Liall's face, learning every curve and ridge. “Teach me how to say that."
Liall shook his head, but he said it anyway. “T'aishka."
Scarlet tried, mangling it. Liall smothered the word under another kiss and his hands went under Scarlet's arms, lifting. Scarlet stood up, dripping and dazed, and—Liall saw plainly—very much affected by the kiss. Liall grabbed an Rshani-sized towel from the bunk and wrapped Scarlet into it. It engulfed his small frame like a blanket.
Liall steered him toward the bunk. “Get under the covers quickly,” Liall advised. The cabin was still very chilly.
Scarlet scrubbed his wet hair with the towel and climbed into the bunk. Liall rubbed a shaky hand over his face and glanced to the door. He seriously considered fleeing.
Scarlet moved part of the thick covers aside and looked up at Liall. “I'd be warmer with you beside me."
He is so beautiful, Liall thought, unspoiled and almost painfully young, flushed with drink and clean desire, and wanting me. He does want me.
Liall's last reserve of resistance crumbled, and he climbed carefully into the bunk.
Scarlet's glance was mischievous. “This is hardly fair. You're still wearing all your clothes."
"Not for long,” Liall said roughly. He tugged his shirt up over his head and tossed it aside. Now he could feel Scarlet's skin against his own, and he moaned at the shock that raced through his body, like static in the air on a cold, dry day. Shifting his knees onto the bed, Liall prowled over Scarlet's body. He kept them apart, over him but not touching him, supporting himself on his arms, his entire body drawn tight with tension, his nerves flitting like a hummingbird. He thought he saw a shadow of fear in Scarlet's face for a moment.
"Only touching,” Liall promised.
Scarlet tried not to look relieved, but Liall was watching him too closely. He saw it in the way Scarlet's shoulders lost that squared set and his back settled against the mattress, the way his knees moved apart willingly as Liall carefully settled down to lie upon him. Liall supported some of his weight on his elbows and was careful not to let his belt buckle scratch Scarlet's skin.
Scarlet shivered a little, either from cold or excitement.
"Are you cold again?” Liall whispered, brushing Scarlet's lips with his own. “I shall warm you.” That lavish mouth the color of rose petals, so sinful a mouth, yet he tasted like innocence and clean water. Liall kissed him deeply, sealing their mouths together as the waves sighed and rolled. Scarlet melted into it, his arms winding around Liall's neck, holding on as Liall kissed him long and thoroughly. When they finally drew apart, Scarlet was shaking.
"Is this...?” Liall could not finish the thought.
Scarlet nodded, quick and breathless, and sought Liall's mouth again. Scarlet's lips were parted and eager, and Liall pressed forward with his tongue, luxuriating in the feel of being close at last. Scarlet was here with him, and there was no anger or insults between them, no fear or shying away from the truth. Liall slipped his hand between their bodies and grasped stretched, silken flesh.
Scarlet gasped. His hips pushed up to meet Liall's hand, and he began to make small noises in his throat, sucking eagerly on Liall's tongue.
Liall very gently eased his hand away and began to undo his belt and the line of buttons at the front of his breeches. Scarlet tried to pull back a little to see what he was doing.
"Only touching,” Liall reassured in a whisper as he flicked aside the last button and freed his cock, which was already hard and aching. Scarlet could surely feel him, even if he could not see, and the pedlar gave a low, shuddering moan as Liall wrapped his hand around both of their members, stretching his fingers to fit, and began to stroke them off together.
Something was expanding in Liall's chest, a hollow space that was being filled with the scent of sun-warmed skin and shining black hair, eyes dark as jet yet never cold: a red-hooded pedlar with the pride and fire of a king, a boy with the courage of a man.
"I love you,” Liall gasped in Scarlet's ear, his mouth to Scarlet's cheek. “Oh, gods, I love you!"
Scarlet's hands gripped Liall's shoulders hard just before the younger man shuddered violently and came hotly over Liall's fingers with a startled shout, his release spilling over a
nd slicking Liall's hand. Scarlet's seed eased the way for Liall and he moved his hand faster, harder. For the first time in years, Liall spent in less than a minute, crying out loudly as his hips jerked and he striped Scarlet's belly with his release.
After a while, the world righted itself again, and Liall looked down to see Scarlet staring at him with wide, astonished eyes.
"What?” Liall whispered. He reached up and traced wet fingers over Scarlet's mouth. He felt as tender now as he had fierce a moment earlier. This one had his heart, no doubting it. He wondered if Scarlet truly knew how much that frightened him, how much the warm ache in his chest made him want to run from Scarlet as if the young man were a demon after his soul.
"I didn't...” Scarlet's throat moved as he swallowed and blinked. “I didn't know it would be like this."
For a moment, Liall was terrified. He began to lift himself up.
"No,” Scarlet said quickly, his arms going around Liall's back. “Stay. I just...” he took a deep breath. “I don't have the words, Liall. I don't know how to say what you make me feel."
Liall kissed him softly, touched but fearful yet. “But I pleased you?"
Scarlet's grin was genuine and a little sheepish. “Oh, yes. A lot. You?"
"You may as well ask me if I like to breathe air.” Scarlet's brows drew together, puzzling that out for a moment. Liall poked him in the ribs. “Don't be a ninny,” he said, borrowing one of Scarlet's phrases. “I loved it. I love you.” His head was still swimming. Dangerous. Oh, it was dangerous. “I love you. Right now, I love just about everything."
They laughed and they kissed, and later Liall pleasured Scarlet again with his hand and showed him what more there was to loving, touching his tongue to Scarlet's nipples as the young man strained and thrust up into his fist. Scarlet insisted on undressing Liall fully and doing the same for him, more slowly this time. Scarlet's young face was very serious and intent as he studied Liall's reactions and stroked and learned the golden-hued, powerful body, pressing kisses to Liall's mouth and throat until Liall was lost in the sweetness of it, still frightened of the warm feeling in his chest. They fell asleep wrapped around each other, the creaking of timbers and the flutter of the candle flame lulling worry to rest and their minds to sleep.
Liall woke in the night and listened to the sea and the sounds of the ship. Scarlet was warm against him, and he remembered what had happened between them, the things that were said and the promise that their bodies had made.
What was I thinking of?
You were thinking of a life before this one, he told himself. Of two lives, actually: one where you lived in Rshan as an honorable man, and another where you were a lawless Kasiri bandit in Byzantur. Neither life was particularly worth living. This new life—this new beginning—will be with Scarlet, and this time, you will not fail. You will not be arriving in Rshan the same numbed and shattered man who left those shores. You will not be Liall the Wolf, either.
Who will I be?
He drowsed with that question circling his mind like a shark in dangerous waters.
Nine days later, sailing on a fair sea through a blue, frozen dawn, the quartermaster sighted land. They had arrived in Rshan na Ostre.
7.
The Land of Night
The day they sailed into port was a twilight day, as the last few weeks had been, and snowing heavily. Scarlet hardly noticed, he was so amazed by the city.
It's just like something out of the ancient tales, he thought. This really is Rshan, and people actually live here. Amazing!
It was a city coiled like a white dragon on the edges of the harbor, woven of magic and blue flame, with scales of snow and fangs of ice, narrow streets winding like a serpent's tail, and tall, carved buildings thrusting up like horns, with towers and misty spires in the distance. A sapphire-blue glow seemed to hover over both the harbor and the city beyond.
Scarlet stood beside Liall and stared, his jaw hanging open. “Is it real?” he asked stupidly.
"Too real for me,” Liall said. His fingers brushed down Scarlet's arm.
Scarlet leaned into him, liking the touch, but Liall sounded sad.
"What's this place called?"
"Nau Karmun,” Liall said. His tone was strange.
"Is this your home?” Scarlet ventured further.
"Yes. And no,” Liall answered. “This is the realm of Kalas Nauhin, the South Kingdom. Here there are the great and elegant cities of Rshan and the court of Camira Druz. Further north—much further—beyond the mountain range is Fanorl Nauhin, the North Kingdom, and in that place there are only wild tribes and savage places without names."
Scarlet was astonished. Not one but two Rshani peoples! “Are they your enemies?” he asked, his interest greatly piqued.
Liall smiled a little. “Not as a Byzan would recognize an enemy. There has been war between us, and we have killed one another, yet we are bound together. There is much between us that cannot be laid to rest."
The ship dropped anchor and a number of skiffs left the wharf and began moving across the water toward them. Liall watched silently for a while before looking down at Scarlet.
"Do you see the great stone gate there, just beyond that line of buildings? That is the entrance to the city proper. That is where we will go.” His hand tightened on Scarlet's arm. “It is where I will, again, pledge my word for you."
"Oh,” Scarlet said, but he thought: Now what?
Liall discerned his anxiety. “No, t'aishka. This time you will be treated with respect. I swear it."
Scarlet wondered if that were possible. He bit his lip and leaned into the gunwale until the first of the skiffs reached the ship. Liall took some minutes to bid farewell to Captain Qixa. They spoke back and forth in Sinha, and Liall's voice was low and soft. He took off his glove and clasped arms with Qixa, and the bald captain beamed and bowed, very gratified. They parted and Qixa even spared a pleasant nod for Scarlet.
He's probably just glad to see me go, Scarlet thought. The quartermaster's eye caught his, and Scarlet nodded shortly.
"You made it, lenilyn!” the quartermaster called out, and then showed him his yellowed teeth in a bellowing laugh.
"What's so funny?"
The mariner shook his head, laughing. “You were good luck for me, Byzan child. I made many coins betting on you. No one thought you would reach our shores alive!"
Scarlet shook his head and laughed with him. “Let that be a lesson to you, then!"
The quartermaster gave a cocky salute as Liall descended the rope ladder into the skiff, and then it was Scarlet's turn. Climbing down was tricky stuff. The rope ladder swayed sickeningly with the motion of the brigantine, and the skiff seemed to be much further away now that he was over the side. He stopped and held on for a moment, his arms shaking with strain, before resuming his descent. Liall took hold of him when he was near the bottom, steadying him as he stepped off into the skiff.
Liall winked. “You're almost a proper mariner now, little Byzan,” he said lowly.
"I'm not—"
"Little,” Liall finished. “I know."
Scarlet decided Liall was patronizing him, and he gave the man a cross look as he sat on the wooden seat of the skiff, holding on grimly. Although he had long ago lost any trace of his former seasickness, he would never really feel at home on the water. To Scarlet, water travel was something that just had to be endured in order to get from one place to another. He would never love it as Liall did.
Liall patted Scarlet's knee before falling silent, and the skiff began to scull away from the hull of the brigantine, the oarsmen pulling with strong strokes and chanting in time.
Scarlet reached out and touched the smooth, cold wood of the Ostre Sul, giving a silent thanks to the vessel for carrying him so far from home and bringing him safe to shore. He also spared a prayer for Deva, which he had forgotten to do for days now, and as he was looking up to the sky, he caught a last glimpse of Oleksei's stony face before the water bore them away. Shivering in
the cold, Scarlet added a prayer that he would never see that particular Rshani ever again.
The wind off the water was bitter, even with the woolen cap and the heavy coat Liall had given him to wear over his red jacket. The dark-faced oarsmen chanted in Sinha as they rocked and bumped their way into the harbor. The skiff crew looked at him now and then with curious eyes. No hostility, which was a welcome change.
Liall grew tenser as they neared the wharf, and his arm went around Scarlet and tightened like steel. Scarlet squirmed a little when it became uncomfortable, and Liall started, as if he had forgotten Scarlet was there. Scarlet put his gloved hand in Liall's, reckoning that the atya was facing old demons here.
"T'aishka,” Liall murmured and tangled his long fingers with Scarlet's briefly before moving his hand away. Liall did not speak again until after they arrived on solid ground and began walking through the crowded pier.
"Keep close,” Liall murmured with a warning glance. “Do not say a word."
They navigated the crowds of workers and mariners, their heads down, speaking to no one, but there were stares. A younger mariner clad in fur and leather pointed at Scarlet and said something rather loud. Heads turned. Someone pointed to Scarlet's dark hair and quite clearly said the word lenilyn, provoking more stares and comments, and then Liall was thrusting Scarlet behind their escort with a curse and pulling his cap down tighter over his black hair.
Scarlet was shivering nonstop when they arrived at a great stone gate, which led into an enormous corridor, lined with guards. Liall paused in front of it, hesitating, then set his jaw and led the way inside.
As they walked along the wide path with its foreign traceries set into the stone, Scarlet found himself wondering what it must be like for Liall, coming home again after so long, being unsure of his welcome or even his safety, and what was so dreadful that Liall would not even speak of it. Scarlet was not sure how long Liall had been away from Rshan, only that Liall was not so very much older than him, so it could not have been more than ten years or so.