by Viva Fox
“But you’re not in that life anymore. You’re starting a new one where you’re a little wiser, a little tougher.”
“Starting over is hard.” She whispered, closing her eyes against the truth.
She felt Dylan’s hands on her shoulders, fingers gently rubbing away the weight she carried there. She forced her body to relax, to give in to his hands. She let his fingers travel up the column of her neck to knead into her scalp. She could feel his breath against her cheek and she opened her eyes to see him watching her.
She recognized the interest she saw there and maybe if she’d been someone else he would have moved in, kissed her. But he wasn’t doing that. He wasn’t pushing her to do anything, just waiting for her to choose.
She warmed under his touch and his hungry eyes. It was an easy decision to make. Emily leaned in, her lips brushing against his. With her hands on his arms she pushed herself closer and flicked her tongue against his bottom lip, seeking entrance.
Dylan’s fingers laced into her hair, his mouth on hers. In that instant a need started burning, echoed in his actions. She couldn’t get close enough, his arms moving down to her waist, molding her against him. The taste of him, hot and needy, had the thoughts in her head evaporating leaving only what she was feeling for him. In this moment he was the only one who understood what she needed.
Her hands tunneled through his hair and she brushed away the niggling thoughts that evoked. The ones that told her this was too new. She was never to take these kinds of liberties during sex with Shane. But she didn’t want to think of him right now. She wanted to surrender herself to the feeling of Dylan’s callous-fingered hands inching their way along the bare skin under her shirt. The feeling of him pulling her out of the booth without so much as an inch of space between their bodies. The feeling of the cool air kissing her skin as her shirt hit the floor.
Her hands balled into the front of his shirt and, just because she could, pulled it over his head. His hands were at the clasp of her bra and in seconds it joining her shirt, his mouth on hers again.
Dylan’s lips moved down the column of her neck and across her shoulder, his lips making a perfect trail along her skin. His hands palmed her breasts, her nipples beading against his warm touch. His lips and hands continued their worship of her body. And that’s how she felt. Worshiped, sexy, worthy. He touched every part of her like he wanted to know it. When he ducked down onto his knees, hands at the button of her jeans and lips on her stomach, Emily’s heartrate tripped. She could only stand there, hands buried in his hair, while he licked and kissed. She was so far beyond her comfort zone, but the way he was making her feel was amazing. There was no way she was letting herself feel awkward enough to care that never before had anyone made her feel adored. She was too turned on to make him stop.
After her pants were long gone, Dylan put his hands on her hips, moving her back the few steps to the edge of the bed. She sat and moved back to the middle, watching him discard the rest of his clothes, watching him stalk after her. His eyes were unwavering on hers, possessed and lust filled. He climbed until he was settled completely over her, the thick ridge of his erection pressing against her thigh.
His perfect body rocked against hers, teasing her. She allowed her hands to trace up his arms, over the colored ink and thick muscles. She allowed herself a freedom with him that she was never allowed with anyone else. In her touch and in her words she felt liberated. Maybe it was the moment or maybe it was the man, but whatever it was she was going to take full advantage.
Emily raised her leg, pressing her foot against his lower back and pressing him closer. He smiled down at her.
“Greedy little thing, aren’t you?”
The words came out thick, playful. They weren’t meant to embarrass, and it took Emily a second to interpret that. But when his hand slipped under her, raising her hips to meet his, she fully understood their intention.
His other hand reached between them and positioned his cock at her entrance. The tip entered her and pulled back over again until he was coated with her wet heat. Just when she thought she couldn’t take any more, her nails pressing into his shoulder, Dylan pushed into her fully.
She ground out a groan when his hips were flush against her thighs. Her hands pressed against his waist, holding him there until her body had a chance to get used to him. He didn’t demand, didn’t take. He gave, though. It was a welcome change. Emily stretched up and kissed his throat, then rolled her hips against him.
He pulled back and started to move. It was fluid and steady, his exhales and quiet grunts filled her ears, her senses. It made her feel possessed, urgent. She liked how sure he was of his movements. She liked how his eyes had strayed down to her chest to follow the movement of her breasts with every thrust of his hips.
Dylan bent, his lips covering hers while his hands covered her breast. He squeezed gently while his mouth sucked at her neck, before he slid his hand along her ribs, her hip, her ass, pulling her leg up over him. She opened herself up to him, her hips rising to meet his as their pace became frantic.
“Tell me what you want. What do you like?”
She didn’t know what she liked, only that she liked this. “Faster?” She whispered.
He braced his arm beside her head and his hips moved with more purpose. His other hand gripped behind her knee tightly. Emily could feel that elusive sensation dancing around the edges of her senses. Her body was coiling tightly underneath him and it gathered power with each of his strokes. He let go of her leg and braced himself with both arms, hands balled into the sheets.
Her nails pressed into his sweat slicked back, his teeth bared against her shoulder. Her orgasm rippled through her body, tensing her underneath him and tightening her sheath around his erection. The rumbles of a groan vibrated against her shoulder, Dylan’s hoarse cry of relief echoing her own.
His arms buckled and he lay atop of her, both spent and breathing heavily. Slowly he caught his breath and lazily pulled from her, pressing a kiss to the marks he had bit into her shoulder before rolling to her side.
She wasn’t sure what to expect afterwards, but he pulled her in close to him, her body molding to his again.
“I guess I should apologize.” He said against the shell of her ear. “But I really did have your best intentions in mind when I asked if you wanted a ride.”
“Turns out having them ignored wasn’t such a bad thing.”
“Yeah? Well in that case I might have to ignore those intentions again before San Antonio.” Dylan said, his hands wandering their way down her body again.
The remaining hours before they arrived in San Antonio was spent in bed with Dylan, the words and sex coming easily to them now. And when the bus pulled to a stop outside of her sister’s place she felt like a whole new woman.
She had left her old life behind and there wasn’t an ounce of sadness left in her. Whatever had sprung up when she dropped everything that morning had been washed away in Dylan’s bed. She could start her life with a clean slate and a clear head.
*****
18 Months Later
The sun was still high in the sky when Emily drove home from work and she smiled at her reflection in the rear view mirror. There wasn’t much better than a perfect Texas summer day. She loved living here, loved that it was so different from Colorado. Her life resembled nothing that it once was and all the work it took to get there was worth it.
The first thing she had done after arriving at Marin’s, once the fact had sunk in that she had made it and she was safe, was to get rid of anything that was part of her old life. Anything that was Shane’s. She hadn’t brought much, so she made quick work of trashing almost everything in her possession. Emily didn’t regret it and hadn’t looked back. And she figured Shane had done the same because a year and a half later she still hadn’t heard from him.
The weeks had flown by after Emily settled into Marin’s house. Her sister was just as happy to have her there as she was to be there. Family filled a vo
id in both of them. The weeks turned into months and the disappointment of the life she left behind began to fade. She felt in control of her life for the first time.
Even with everything going on she spent more time than she ever admitted thinking about her night of freedom all those months ago. She figured it was only natural to fixate on the first person to show her kindness in so long, but the gentleness of Dylan’s touch and the way he allowed her the space to choose was as clear to her now as it was then.
She didn’t mind so much when the memories flooded back at night, when the house was quiet and her mind would travel over every touch and every press of his body against hers. It was during the day, doing the dishes or even in a room full of friends, when something he had told her would pop into her head and cause a stirring in her. A mundane detail that would resurface and bring a smile to her lips.
There was rarely any time to dwell, though. Those long summer days after she moved were filled with endless errands and interviews, planning and creating a life separate from anyone else. With each day that passed, each decision she made, she felt empowered, stronger. She even managed to get a decent job with her little experience.
It wasn’t until she had been living there for a few months that she found out she was pregnant. She knew immediately that the baby was Dylan’s, and found herself relieved that it was. Carrying a reminder of Shane would have been a clutching kind of torture, a way for him to exert his stranglehold on her from afar. Knowing the baby was Dylan’s made the shock of the news easier to swallow. She looked back on her night spent with Dylan as a fast tracked lesson in independence, their baby a reminder of her freewill.
In the space of a few months she went from a barren existence to a full life. Family, friends, and as the warm Texas spring rains filled the skies, her little baby boy. They all filled her house and she welcomed them with open arms.
Coming home from work to the house she and her sister shared, a house bustling with activity and filled with family was the greatest feeling she’d ever known. Emily pulled into the driveway and turned the car off, grabbing her purse and heading into the house.
“Marin?” She called out, passing through the living room into the kitchen.
“We’re out here.” She called from the back deck.
Emily deposited her purse on the table and headed back. The long summer days were coming to an end, soon to be replaced by the milder evenings of fall. Emily and Marin loved sitting out here at the end of the day, playing with Jack and enjoying the sun filtering through the trees.
Emily stepped out on the warm deck with bare feet. She took a spot next to Jack on the blanket that he sat on, playing with his toys. She bent and kissed his head, earning a toothless smile from him.
From her patio chair Marin pointed to the table beside her.
“Someone stopped in to see you today.” She said, indicating the note on the table.
Emily picked it up and unfolded the paper. Then glanced back up to her sister, sure it had to be a mistake.
“Dylan was here?”
“He was. He asked to see you, and when I told him you were at work he left that for you.” I studied the hurried scrawl, just his name and phone number. “He said he would be in town for a while and that if you didn’t call him he was going to stop back here before he left.”
“Did he see Jack?” Panic laced her voice. As much as she would love for him to meet his son, she didn’t want him finding out that way.
Marin nodded. “I was holding him when I answered the door. I didn’t say anything and he didn’t seem to pick up on anything. You’re going to tell him, though, right?”
“Yes.” Emily turned her face to the note in her hands. She would. Of course she would. She never kept the knowledge of their son from him for any malicious reason. She loved having a solid, real, connection to their night together, to him. But that didn’t mean he did. And until she had this solid proof in her hands, she wasn’t entirely sure if she would have stood out in his memory.
But since he did remember her after a year and a half and wanted to see her, she would tell him. It would be up to him whether he wanted Jack to be a part of his life, but at least he would have a choice in it.
*****
That night, after Jack had been tucked into bed and she had given Marin the baby monitor, Emily grabbed her phone and dialed Dylan’s number. He answered right away and within a few minutes she was out the door on her way to see him.
He was staying at a hotel downtown and the drive there gave her time to think about all the reasons why he would want to see her. She had been so preoccupied thinking about the reason she wanted to see him that she hadn’t considered why he had shown up after all this time.
Her mind scanned all the likely reasons he would want to see her, none of which was conducive to the news she had to tell him. She hoped for Jack’s sake he wouldn’t turn her away. But when the most likely reason for wanting to see her was because he wanted to try for a quick hookup, that outcome wasn’t too likely.
Pulling up to the hotel she was still conflicted, but she couldn’t postpone what was to come. And underneath it all she was excited to see him again. With each step the anxiety climbed, nervous and excited in equal measures, until she was standing outside his door.
Emily had barely pulled her hand away from knocking when the door was pulled open. She hadn’t prepared herself for what it would be like facing him again after all this time, her breath coming out shaky until she could get a grip on herself. She could see now, being faced with Dylan again after so long, all the features that he and their son shared. A pang of guilt raced through her.
“Hey,” Dylan said, running a hand through his hair as his eyes took her in. His hair was shorter than it was when she saw him last, but he was every bit as dark and tempting. “Thanks for coming down here. I would have come to you, but I figured it would be a bit quieter here, you know?”
He stepped back and she entered, her arm brushing against him. She tried to pretend she couldn’t feel his pull on her and kept moving into the room.
“Can I get you a drink?” He asked from behind her.
She turned to him. “Sure. Whatever you’re having.” She said, buying herself a little more time.
While Dylan fixed their drinks she looked around his room. It was huge, with a kitchenette and the bedroom in a separate room. Emily had never been in a hotel room like that before. While she looked around she noticed his luggage. Bags and cases sat piled in the corner of the room, way more than just a few days’ worth of clothes. Once again, her curiosity got the better of her.
“How long are you staying in San Antonio?”
He didn’t turn to look at her, but he stopped pouring, his shoulders tensing. “Not too sure yet. It depends on a few things.”
“So not Houston and then maybe New Orleans?”
He finished pouring their drinks. He turned, carrying them over to her, his amazing smile touching his lips. “No, not anymore. Our final tour wrapped up a couple months ago.”
“So what brought you here, then?” She asked, getting the sense that she wasn’t getting the whole story.
“I came here to see you.” His blue eyes holding hers.
“Just me?” She said, raising an eyebrow. “I mean, that’s great and I’m glad you looked me up, but there has to be a real reason.”
Dylan moved to the sitting area, placing their drinks on the table before turning back to her. He came to a stop in front of her, close enough that she could have touched him. He scrubbed his hand over his jaw, thinking over his next words before speaking them.
“I can’t get you out of my head, Emily. I wanted to see you again.”
His voice was so sincere. The words were pulled from him like he hadn’t intended to be so straightforward. She knew he was taking a chance laying it out like that, but regardless of what he thought he wanted she knew her news would change that.
She had taken their hook up for what it was. It was a convenien
t situation, a vulnerable moment, a rebellious choice. Not a promise of anything more. But now, because of Jack, there was more and she could only imagine how that would change how he felt. There was no point in being keeping it a secret any longer.
“Me too, Dylan. I’ve thought about you more than I probably should admit.” She read the relief in his face, but she kept going. “But there’s more to it than just that one night.” She licked her lips and took a breath. “A couple months after our night together I found out I was pregnant. We have a son.”
When he didn’t say anything, didn’t move at all, Emily’s racing heart picked up. She opened her mouth to say more, but she wasn’t sure what else there was to say. Finally, a long few moments later, with his eyes still concentrated on hers, he spoke.
“You’re sure it was that night?” His voice was quiet, cautious.
“Positive. Shane barely touched me anymore, and I haven’t been with anyone since you.”
Dylan nodded and seemed to consider her words. His eyes were still trained on her own, but she couldn’t read what was behind them.
“Do you have a picture?”
She nodded and pulled out her phone, letting him scroll through the pictures. His eyes flicked between the screen and her. He moved through them slowly, studying each one for several seconds before passing on to the next. When he got to the end he handed the phone back to her, his face still calm and unreadable.
“Well shit.” He said, his hand running through his hair. “That’s not what I was expecting.”
The jack rabbit beat to her heart sped up at his words. Facing him and the honest truth of how she felt, Emily didn’t want him to turn her out. She didn’t want him to be hurt by her keeping this from him.
“I know. I’m sorry. This is a terrible way to find out and I didn’t do it to hurt you. Neither of us signed on for this when we hooked up.” She still couldn’t read his face and not knowing how he felt was killing her. “Just because I was happy with the news didn’t mean I expected you to be. Maybe I was wrong in that decision, but I can’t change it now.”