by Viva Fox
Never in my life would I have thought that something like this would happen. My life had been perfect. I had the perfect boyfriend. Why would he do this to me? I didn’t get it. Was it the alcohol? I didn’t know, but my heart was broken alcohol or not. I was crushed and broken. I didn’t know what to do. I was rushing to the front door as quick as I could, clutching Mason’s car keys in my hands. I would drive home. I had no idea where I was, but somehow I would drive home.
I was crying hard when I suddenly bumped into someone. I looked up to see Keith. He had his arms around me, keeping me upright. If it wasn’t for his arms I would have fallen down. He could see the tears in my eyes and frowned.
“What’s wrong?”
“N… nothing…” My voice cracked as I tried to choke back my sobs. Keith didn’t believe me. He knew, probably from my bad acting, that something was wrong.
“C’mon Addison, what happened? Did someone do something to you? Did someone hurt you?” I looked at him, my eyes begging for him to drop the topic. He could tell something was wrong when I started to shake. He sighed, before picking me up bridal style. I wanted to protest, to tell him to put me down, but at the same time I no longer had fight left inside of me.
He carried me outside to his car. He sat me down in the passenger seat, before walking over to the driver’s seat. He turned and looked at me.
“C’mon Addison, tell me what’s wrong.” It was then that everything really hit me. It felt like a train had slammed into my face, tearing me in half. I felt like I was trapped in a nightmare, but there was a part of me that knew that this was just a horrible reality. I couldn’t believe it. How could they do this to me? I had been nothing but good to them. I felt so betrayed.
Keith, seeing me a sobbing mess just leaned over and held me for a long time. He gave me as long as I needed to compose myself. I was grateful for his friendship at that moment. I was glad that at least one person at the party wasn’t drinking. I cried into his chest for a long time, losing track of time. Finally, I managed the courage to choke out the words that needed to be said.
“Mason… Avery… they… they… had sex in one of the bedrooms.”
Chapter 5
After I spoke those words I felt like there was a weight being lifted off my shoulders, but I still had an overwhelming need to cry. I could tell that Keith felt sorry for me, but still he didn’t say a word. He probably didn’t know what to say. What did you say in a moment like that? There was nothing in the world he could have said that would have made me feel better. My whole world was crashing down around me. All I wanted to do was crawl into a hole and never come out again.
“Let me get you home.” He finally said after starting his car.
“Tha… Thank you.” I was grateful. I just wanted to get away from the party. I never wanted to see Madison’s house ever again. I never wanted to see Mason or my sister. My depression was turning to anger, but I didn’t know which emotion was better. As Keith drove me home I just became angrier at them.
How could they do this to me? Were they that heartless? Had I dated a monster for four years? Why had I let him waste a part of my life like that? That was four years of my life I would never get back, and to think that during our slow dance at prom, I was thinking about our wedding. I was angry at him, but I was also angry at myself.
I was mad at myself for being so stupid. I should have seen it coming. My sister had always been jealous of Mason and me. She wanted what we had, never finding it with any of her boyfriends. She always commented on how handsome Mason was. And prom? She was all over him on the dance floor. I should have seen it coming. I felt like a fool.
Keith was quiet through the entire drive. He allowed me to sort through my feelings in silence and I was grateful for that. He was a good friend. Eventually, he dropped me off in front of my house. With a heavy heart, I walked into my home, alone. I didn’t know what I was going to tell my parents, but either way they would be heartbroken. Mason was the one who was supposed to bring me home after prom, not Keith. They would know something was wrong the moment I walked into the house.
“Hey honey, how was prom?” My mom called out from the living room. She couldn’t see me yet and I was dreading the conversation I was about to have.
“Did you have fun?” Now it was my dad’s voice. I wondered why they weren’t in bed, I had told them not to wait up for me. I walked into the living room slowly. Their faces fell the moment they saw my tear stained face. They looked around, looking for Mason, but saw no one. I was on the verge of tears again. My mother could tell and instantly came rushing toward me, wrapping me in a hug. I started to sob again.
“Oh, honey, what happened?” I continued to sob, unable to control myself. My mom rubbed my back gently as my father stood there, looking awkward as if he didn’t know what to do. Finally, I pulled away from my mom, looking at her. I decided it would be best to just tell them the truth. I sat down, my legs felt numb.
I looked at them, waiting for them to sit down before I took a deep breath to steady myself. “Avery got us invited to this after party. Mason convinced me to go, but when I found him again, he was drunk and with Avery… in bed.” I wasn’t crying anymore. No, instead my voice was hollow as I told my story. I no longer felt angry or depressed, just numb. I could feel my life escaping from my body.
My mom just hugged me tightly. My father looked shocked. He couldn’t believe it. How could one of his daughters hurt his other daughter so much? How could the boy he trusted abuse his daughters like this? He couldn’t believe it. Maybe it was all just a nightmare and he would wake up. I had wished the same thing only to realize that it’s just one miserable reality.
“I want to go to grandma’s house,” I said numbly. My mother frowned.
“Honey, are you sure? Maybe we can talk to them. Maybe it was just some sort of misunderstanding or something. Maybe they weren’t actually doing anything. I shook my head.
“I know what I saw mom. And if I have to stay in this town and face them, I know I will go insane. If you don’t take me to grandma’s, I will just run away.” My dad nodded. He seemed to understand somehow as if he had been through this before.
“She’s right, Sherry, she shouldn’t have to see Mason or Avery until she’s ready. It will just cause her more pain. I know you want to keep her under your wing, but it will only hurt her. I will call my mother and tell her what happened.”
Chapter 6
After that night, I began a new life of sorts. I moved in with my grandmother. I had my high school diploma mailed to me; I didn’t want to go to graduation and face all my classmates, especially not Avery and Mason. Everyone begged me to come back, but I couldn’t. I couldn’t face them. I couldn’t face my heart break so I kept it tucked away, written in multiple journals, but never spoken in words, never presented in the open.
I was glad my grandmother never mentioned it. I was glad for her company too. I had never spent much time with her since she lived across the country, but she seemed to be very nice and understanding of my whole situation.
Still it was hard, especially with Mason trying to get in touch with me at every possible moment. My phone would ring constantly. He would try to call me and I would just never answer. My email was bursting with messages, my social media cluttered with notifications. I wanted to block him, but I never had the heart. I just ignored him. For some reason, I was glad he was trying so hard to contact me.
I think it made me feel like he still cared for me, at least on some level. So I let him message me as much as he wanted, but I would never message him back.
Then one day, everything changed. I logged into my account and there staring at me was a picture of my sister holding a positive pregnancy test. My sister was pregnant with Mason’s child. No. Anything but that. I tried to refresh the page, thinking maybe I was just hallucinating, but there it was again, staring at me like some hideous monster. I wanted it to go away, but it wouldn’t.
I looked through the comments on the pic
ture and was disgusted to see people congratulate her. If only they knew the truth. I wanted to yell it out to the world that my sister was nothing but a boyfriend stealer but I didn’t have the heart. Instead, I turned off my computer and cried myself to sleep.
I stayed in bed for a couple of days, trying to disappear. I didn’t have the motivation to get up. Honestly, I didn’t see the point of living. What was the point when out there somewhere your sister was having a baby with the man you had once loved? She was having a baby with my dream guy. It wasn’t fair.
Eventually, my grandmother convinced me to get out of bed and do something. I did. It was then that I went on a work binge. I drowned myself in work. I was determined to forget all about them. If they wanted to crush my world then I would just build bigger and stronger walls around myself. I threw myself into my studies, took on multiple jobs, and made sure I was always busy.
I didn’t want to have any time to think about them. I even deactivated my accounts, not wanting to see any pregnancy updates. Through all of this, I didn’t notice that the pleas Mason sent me to come back were still coming in, although less frequent. Even though he had gotten my sister pregnant, for some reason, he still seemed to care about me. I still ignored him not even bothering with him. Eventually, I even had the heart to block him.
I thought life was moving in a new direction. Who needed them? Not me. I was getting good grades in college and making new friends. Plus, I had a grandmother who was an absolute angel and made the best cookies. Slowly, but surely, I was starting to forget about them. Yes, it would still hurt now and then, but I could feel my heart slowly starting to heal. I know that in time, I would get better.
Until, of course, I got a phone call I never expected to receive. It was about nine months after that horrible night. I had told my mom that I didn’t want to know when the baby was born and, amazingly enough, my mother had promised not to bring it up. I wondered why she was calling me. We always spoke on Sundays, but this call was on a Thursday. We never spoke on Thursdays.
When I picked up the phone my mom was in hysterics. Her voice was cracked from crying and I could tell something was seriously wrong. I tried to calm her down, but it was no use. Her voice was gone and it would be a long time until she calmed down. My father ended up picking up the phone. I nearly dropped mine when I heard the news.
“Addison, your sister died in labor.” My sister was dead. I couldn’t believe it. I would never see her again. The sister that had once been my other half and who I last saw while she was fucking my boyfriend, was dead. How could life be so cruel? Did I really need any more heart break in my life? I wanted to scream and shout. If there was a God out there, why did he let things like this happen? It wasn’t fair.
Eventually, my mom got on the phone again and through her sobs she begged me to go back and attend the funeral. I couldn’t deny her. This was my sister, of course I had to go to her funeral. I was not too thrilled about going back to my hometown and facing all the people I had abandoned, but I also knew that I couldn’t ignore my family at a time like this. So I did what any good family member would do and packed my bags within the hour and the next day I was on a plane toward my home town, causing me both tremendous joy and pain.
Chapter 7
I arrived about two days before the funeral was scheduled to take place. I tried to keep a low profile. I didn’t want anyone from my high school knowing I was back home. I especially didn’t want Mason to find me. But who was I kidding? Everyone knew I was back. It was impossible not to.
Mason ended up coming to the house the day after I arrived. He was carrying something in his arms and it was only then that I remembered the baby. I was so caught up in the death of my sister that I had completely forgotten about the baby. I hadn’t even bothered to ask if it had survived or not. I guess I had just assumed that it had died along with my sister, but apparently not.
It was very awkward when Mason and I made eye contact for the first time in nine months. I just wanted to run out of the room, but I knew I couldn’t. His eyes were red as if he had been crying for a long time. I knew I couldn’t leave him like that. While I had hated his guts for a while, there was still a part of me that loved him. He may have betrayed me, but I also knew that he had been drunk. Maybe, if he apologized for what he did, I could find it in my heart to forgive him.
We ended up sitting down together on the couch. I looked over at him and he was holding his baby girl. I thought that maybe if we focused on the baby, then we wouldn’t have to talk about prom night. So, I sat a little closer, looking at the baby for the first time. I took one look at her and I was already in love. She looked so much like my sister. She was beautiful.
I didn’t know it then, but I would come to love that baby more than life itself. I took one glance at Mason and said softly, “She’s beautiful.” He nodded, quietly, as if afraid to talk. I had never seen him so quiet, especially not around me.
“Addison… I… I don’t know what to say. I’m sorry… I know it doesn’t mean much, but I hope you believe me. I know it’s a lot to ask… but I hope one day you find it in your heart to forgive me.” I could tell he was being sincere as he pleaded with me. He had never loved Avery. He had always loved me. He knew the moment the alcohol left his system just how big of a mistake he had made. He had beaten himself up over it constantly and I felt bad for him.
“Mason… don’t…” But he continued, unable to stop himself. He had to tell me. He had to explain himself, even if I wouldn’t listen, he had to get it off his chest.
“I… I… drank too much… and that’s no excuse… I know… but Avery was touching me all over and I thought it was you… I thought you were trying to be extra sexy since it was prom night… and the alcohol made me confuse you two… but I should have known it wasn’t you… I was a damn fool, Addison… I’m sorry….” Mason was sobbing now. I couldn’t stand to see him like this.
To my surprise, I hugged him. We sobbed together. It had been a rough night for the both of us. It was a mistake we would both never forget, but mistakes were made to learn from, not to cry over. I looked at him and in that moment I forgave him. I don’t know why I did. I vowed I never would, but in that moment, I knew I had forgiven him. There was no way I could stay mad at him, not with him this heart broken. It was hard enough seeing him cry.
I don’t know if I forgave him so easily because I loved him so much or because I loved my niece, but I did. After that hug, everything seemed to fall back into place. Mason and I started to have decent conversations again and I found out that nothing about Mason had changed at all. He was still the goofball I had fallen in love with.
I learned that he had stayed with Avery only because she was carrying his child. I also learned that he had thought about me constantly while he was gone and that if Avery hadn’t been pregnant he would have gone after me. He told me that I was the only girl for him and that I would always be the only girl for him. He knew he didn’t have the right to ask for my forgiveness, but that he would never rest until he got it.
It took me a while to admit it to him, but eventually I did tell him that he was forgiven. I didn’t want him to be miserable for the rest of his life. In the end, I never did end up moving back in with my grandmother. I ended up staying in my home town, with my mom and dad, partly because they needed me after my sister’s death, and partly because I wanted to be near Mason.
We ended up spending a lot more time together and it was nice. I liked spending time with my niece. It made me feel like a mother. By the time she was about two months old, I had made my decision. I grabbed Mason one day, knowing I would have to tell him in person.
“Mason, there is something I need to tell you.” He looked worried as he rocked little Isabella in his arms. He was a good father to her and I was proud of him. He was handling being a single father very well, but still, he didn’t deserve to raise a child all by himself.
“What… what is it?” He finally asked, looking up at me.
“Well… believe it or not… I still love you… a lot… and I think that you still love me… and Izzy deserves a mother… and I think that I deserve to marry the man of my dreams…” I let the statements hang in the air, hoping he would pick up what I was putting down. To my relief, I saw his eyes go big before he hugged me tightly.
“Oh… Addison… you are the most amazing person in the world, you know that? I can’t believe you would do this for me!” He was in shock.
“I’m not doing it for you. I’m doing it for me. I know I wouldn’t be happy with someone else and if I don’t save Izzy now, then you will make her play tennis the moment she learns how to walk!” We both chuckled, knowing it was true. After that, it was all smooth sailing.
Chapter 8
After my proposal, it didn’t take long for Mason and me to get married. We treated Izzy as if she were our own daughter, knowing that when the time was right we would tell her the truth, but for now, I was enjoying the sensation of being a mother.
I didn’t know it when I was a freshman and when I first started to go out with Mason that it would end up like this. I always knew that we would be together in the end, I just never expected anything like this. But then again, rainbows only emerge after the rain, and likewise happy endings can only occur after some heart break first.