by Joe Hart
Drained, he crumples to the floor amidst the destruction. Ink runs in dark rivulets outward from the shattered bottle. He watches it transfixed as his heaving breaths slow and his heart quiets from its thundering in his ears.
The ink looks like old blood as it pools against the base of the doorway.
Like a man in a dream he reaches to his pocket and draws out the folded piece of paper. He grips it in both hands, meaning to tear it to pieces, because that is what he’s become, pieces of what he once was, and now another is missing.
The paper begins to tear, its fibers splitting with glacial slowness.
He stops, heart thudding in his temples, hands shaking.
With a blast of held breath, he lets the paper fall into his lap. It sits there accusatorially.
Time passes. Minutes or hours, he doesn’t know, but then there is a sound from the hall, a shuffling of feet as if the person isn’t sure about what they’re going to do.
A knock at the door.
Hiraku doesn’t move. “Come.”
The door opens, and a man with skin so white it looks bleached steps inside the door. His eyes take in the ruin and Hiraku at its epicenter, but to his credit he doesn’t blanch.
“Sir?”
“What is it, Draiman?”
“They’ve escaped the city.”
“What did you say?”
Draiman swallows loudly. “They escaped the city.”
Hiraku lets the news set in, waiting for another bout of rage to flood him, but there is only a dull throb of anger. “How?”
“They managed to get to the northern neighborhoods outside the secure zone before they were picked up.”
“Picked up?”
“By a military vehicle of some kind. Several of our men were killed, but the ones who survived said they think it was another woman who helped them escape.”
Hiraku sits motionless for nearly a minute before reaching out with a single finger, dragging it through the ink. He brings it close to his face and smears the ink with his thumb, looking at the way it coats his skin.
“Which way were they last seen heading?”
“North, sir.”
Hiraku nods. “Send up the drone.”
36
Elation.
She can’t help it. The sight of everyone standing outside the single-story brick house at the end of the lane they’ve been following for nearly a half hour lifts her spirits and dulls the pain in her throat, discards the weariness like an old shell.
Zoey opens the door to the ASV and scrambles out. She’s met immediately by Seamus who nearly bowls her over before Chelsea is there, hugging her and cursing her at the same time. Then it is Rita and Sherell and Lyle, all of them welcoming her back and saying how worried they were. She cries, and she can’t help that either. Through a bluster of tears, she says she’s sorry, sorry for everything, and Lee is there, her arm locked through his as her family forgives her.
The inside of the house is warm, a small fire burning in a hearth. There is food at a long table and she and Lee eat voraciously, his hands now free of his shackles after Tia had worked a half hour on them in the attached garage.
The food begins filling up what feels like a bottomless pit in her stomach. When they’ve finished the group sits expectantly around the table as they relay the story of their capture and escape. When they’re done a deep quiet invades the house except for the faint crackle of flames.
“So it’s not a trick. What the woman said on the video,” Merrill says quietly, stretching out his artificial leg, which clicks loudly. For the first time she sees it is a new prosthetic, not something cobbled together by Tia. They must have found it for him somewhere along the way while looking for her.
Zoey takes a deep breath. “It’s true. She’s my daughter.”
“Our daughter,” Lee says, glancing at her as she cringes internally.
“Our daughter.”
There is a stunned silence. “You’re sure?” Ian asks.
“Yes.”
“It doesn’t make sense,” Chelsea says, shaking her head. “Like I’ve said before, the male determines the sex of the baby, not the female. So it’s back to the old question: why was NOA so determined on keeping women to test on? And how were they able to succeed with you?”
“I don’t know. But they’re not lying this time. I saw the test results with my own eyes.”
“What are we going to do?” Rita asks. “We aren’t going to leave her there, right?”
“No. I could never do that,” Zoey says.
“Then what?” Sherell asks. “We go back to the ARC and ask nicely if they’ll give you guys your baby?”
“No. But doing what we did to get the both of you out won’t work either. They’ll be ready and waiting for us.”
“So what are you thinking?” Chelsea asks.
“We need to talk to them. They’ll speak with me. The entire reason for them even being there is my existence.”
“Wow. You’re so humble too,” Rita says rolling her eyes. The group chuckles but it’s strained.
“Think about it,” Zoey says. “If I’m able to speak to Vivian one on one, I could convince her. I’m the keystone, so they’ve finally found what they’re looking for, right? If that’s true, then there’s a possibility that we could turn the Dearth around. There would be no reason to keep any of us locked up if girls were able to be born again.”
“Your sentiments toward humanity are uplifting,” Ian says. “But ultimately I believe they are unrealistic. NOA hasn’t shown the slightest hint of compassion when it comes to the treatment of women. They have ruled with an iron fist because they fear exactly what you three have become.” He looks at each of them individually. “Smart, strong, beautiful, and resilient young women. They fear what they cannot control, as do most people.”
“You don’t think there’s hope for people to change?”
“There’s always hope, but change is the most difficult thing in the world for human beings to do. There is safety in static. Change is the great disrupter, even when it is for the good.”
“But what other choice is there?” she asks, glancing around the table. “They know we’ll try to get her out of the ARC, it’s exactly what they’re expecting. The reason we were able to return the first time was because they never dreamed I would come back. But now . . .” She lets her voice trail off. “The risk is too much for everyone to try, including for the baby. It’s the reason I wanted to go after the Fae Trade alone. It’s the reason I left after . . . after Eli. If we try to do this by force, we could lose everything.”
“You can’t go in there without a fail-safe,” Lee says. “We need to find a way to get us out if something goes wrong.”
She looks at him. “Us?”
“I’m going with you.”
“Lee, no. You can’t. We have no idea what they’d do to you.”
“And I won’t stand by and watch you go in alone. She’s mine too.”
Zoey falters. She should tell him, tell them all the truth. Right now before it’s too late. Her jaw begins to work, trying to disgorge the words that don’t want to come.
“What is it?” Lee asks. “What’s wrong?”
She glances around, all eyes on her, wondering, waiting. The moment passes. “Okay. We’ll go in together.”
He nods. “Good. Now, the fail-safe, in case we can’t sway Vivian—any ideas?”
“We won’t be able to use the power failure again as cover, they’ll be expecting that,” Merrill says.
“How about we come in from the opposite side?” Tia asks.
“The dam is on that side,” Zoey says.
“Exactly. We can use scuba gear to get to the spillway and lower ourselves down with cables.”
“And then do what?” Merrill says. “There’s still no way to get in.”
“Grappling hooks.”
“Tia. That’s crazy, even for you.”
“Okay, how about the elevator attached to the side whe
re they had boats docked. We saw it the night we went in, remember?”
“It’ll be locked and guarded for sure.”
Tia makes an exasperated sound. “Well then you start throwing out ideas, genius.”
“All I’m saying is the obvious ways in won’t work. We need to come up with something different.”
“The most obvious way to get in would be helicopter,” Ian says. “But of course we’re short one of those.”
“Along with a pilot to fly it,” Tia says. “Unless one of you is holding out on us.”
“I say we sleep on it. Everyone is exhausted, especially these two,” Merrill says, motioning to Zoey and Lee. “Tomorrow things might be clearer.”
There is a general mutter of approval from the group, but Zoey says, “We don’t have much time.”
“Why do you say that?” Chelsea asks. “NOA doesn’t have anything to draw you in besides your daughter. They have to wait for you.”
“It’s not NOA that I’m worried about. It’s Hiraku and his men.”
“It would take a miracle for them to stumble onto us,” Merrill says. “We’re over seventy miles from Seattle. No one followed us and this place isn’t exactly on the main road.”
“Hiraku knew about the ARC,” Lee says, and silence returns to the room.
“What?” Tia asks. “How? You told him?”
“No. He said he met a man who was from there and gave him the location. This army he has is following him because they believe he’s the answer to ending the Dearth. He’s promising them a new life, and the ARC was his destination. When I told him the women were all gone he got furious. He didn’t believe me.”
“I thought you said when they were interrogating you they asked where the ARC was,” Ian says.
“They did,” Zoey says. “It struck us as odd too. All we can figure is they wanted a confirmation of the location to prove we were telling the truth.”
Merrill lets out a long sigh. “So you think he’s going to go there?”
Zoey nods. “Yes. That’s why we don’t have much time.”
“This is really bad,” Sherell says. “What are we going to do?”
Merrill slowly stands. “We’re going to leave in the morning and devise a plan on the road. But what I said about resting stands. Everyone should get some sleep. We won’t be good to anyone if we’re dead on our feet. Tia, take first watch.”
Everyone disperses from the table reluctantly, several of them squeezing Zoey’s shoulder as they move off to separate parts of the house. The air inside is close and the heat that felt so inviting earlier is now too warm. She spots a sliding glass door leading to the backyard and steps through it into the coolness of the late afternoon.
She finds herself on a deck overlooking a sprawl of overgrown lawn, brush encroaching on the clearing. The outline of something catches her eye in the corner of the yard and it takes her a moment to realize it is a child’s swing set nearly consumed by the woods. One of the swings sways, uttering a mournful sound.
Where is the child who once played here? Did they survive or perish in the terrible years since the world fell into chaos? For a beat she’s lost in the thought of all the homes and yards that are empty now, the families gone as if they never were. What had it been like then? No more simple choices, only harsh reality and the crushing fallout of decisions and paths taken. But really it is no different this moment.
How much is a life worth?
She closes her eyes. That’s always been the question, hasn’t it? And now it’s time for me to decide.
The door slides open and closed behind her, and a second later Merrill leans on the railing to her right. They say nothing for a while, simply readjusting to the other’s company.
“Do you remember what I told you after we found out about Riverbend?” Merrill asks after a time. “About how your actions and decisions affect everyone else?”
“Yes.”
“Then why do you insist on choices that put others in danger?”
She turns to him, feeling as if she’s been struck inside. “I left to keep you all safe.”
“I know that’s what you thought you were doing, but you forgot what I told you after we talked about repercussions.” He pauses, straightening to his full height and crossing his arms over his chest. “You have a family now, Zoey. Do you know what that means?”
“Yes.”
“But you don’t, not really, because if you did you wouldn’t go running away every time there’s trouble.”
“But—”
“Stop and listen to me,” he says, voice stern as iron. A father’s tone. “This group, what we’ve become, each of us would die for one another. That’s family. The bad with the good, okay? When you think you’re protecting us by putting yourself in harm’s way, you’re not, you’re endangering everyone and to be perfectly honest it’s beginning to piss me off.”
She shrinks slightly from him, her brow creasing. “I’m sorry—”
“See, you say that, but how do I know you won’t leave tonight? Or tomorrow? And once again we’ll have to go find you.”
“No one had to come. I didn’t want anyone to get hurt like Eli.” She’s tearing up now, her abraded throat stinging again.
“You’re right, no one had to come, but they chose to. That’s what family is, Zoey. That’s what I want you to understand. You didn’t grow up having one, and I’m very sorry for that, and I’ve tried to help make up for it, but you have to realize the consequences of what you do.”
She feels as if she’s being pulled apart. “I don’t know what to do.” A tear runs down her cheek and Merrill’s stance softens.
“Come here,” he says, holding out an arm. She leans into him and he holds her close. “Listen, I loved Eli too. He was the closest thing I had to a brother, but he died doing what he chose, and that’s the truest form of love.”
Zoey sobs once into his chest. “I’m sorry.”
“I know you are. It’s okay.”
They stand there together until her tears are gone. She slowly draws away from him and he gives her a smile. “Family?”
“Family.”
The sliding door opens and Lee steps out, glancing between the two of them. “Sorry . . .”
“You’re fine,” Merrill says, letting her go. “I’ll leave you guys alone.”
“Feels good to be back with them, doesn’t it?” Lee asks as Merrill disappears inside the house.
“Yes, it does. I don’t deserve it.”
“Why would you say that?”
“Because of all I’ve put them through.” She’s wrung out, barely able to stay on her feet.
“Sherell and Rita are free now because of what you did. Rita has her mother. By the looks of things Sherell has Newton.”
“What about Meeka and Crispin and Lily? What about Terra and Eli? What about . . .” Her voice catches. “What about your father?”
Lee’s jaw hardens and he looks away, staring into the quiet forest. “My father loved you and he believed in you. He isn’t gone because of what you did; he’s gone because of Reaper.” He turns and intertwines his fingers with hers. “None of us asked for any of this to happen, but you’ve always done what you thought was right.”
She looks away from his gaze, sure that he’ll see the guilt swimming in her eyes. “You don’t know what I’ve done.”
“I don’t care. I know who you are.” He comes closer and places her hand against his chest so she can feel his heart beating through the layers of clothing. “We’re going to get through this together. I promise.”
She tilts her face up to his and he kisses her. A second later the sliding door opens and they both glance toward it where Rita stands with a stricken look.
“Uh, sorry,” she says, backing into the house.
“You should be,” Zoey says, unable to keep her face straight as incredulity washes over Rita’s features.
“Get a room!”
“Is there one open?” Lee asks.
�
��You two are gross. Both of you,” Rita says, slamming the door shut to their laughter.
They hold each other, still giggling. It feels good, this frame in time. She could live here, settle into it like a new home and thrive. She could not think about tomorrow or the next day or the day after that. It could simply be here and now.
Her laughter dies away as she comes back to reality. Maybe someday, but not today.
She draws back from Lee, studying his face, how it lights up when he smiles, and some strength goes out of her, knowing the fight that will come when she tells him.
“I need to talk to you about something,” she says.
“Oh no. This can’t be good.”
“It’s not good or bad, it’s necessary.”
“Necessary is almost always bad, but go ahead.”
She starts speaking haltingly and at one point the way he looks at her is almost enough to stop the flow of words. But she continues until she’s done, feeling empty and used up, mostly because she is. There is nothing else past this. Once things are set in motion it will be a one-way track with no return.
“Zoey, you can’t—”
“I can’t not do it. There isn’t another way.”
“There has to be.”
“Not without endangering everyone else, and I won’t do that. Not again.”
“I’m going with you.”
“You know you can’t. She’s going to need you.”
“Someone else—”
“Someone else isn’t her father.” She spits the lie out as fast as she can, the taste of it lingering in her mouth sourly. But is it so terrible, telling him this? Is it worse than what’s become of the world? If he believes the girl is his, it is a good thing, even if the good grew from something bad.
Unable to hold his gaze, she glances away to the swing set again. “It’s the best option we have.”
“It’s terrible.”
She sighs. “Yes. It is.”
They are quiet for a long time before he finally says, “When do we tell the others?” There is defeat in his voice. Acceptance. And it both gladdens and breaks her heart at the same time.
“Not until the last minute. Otherwise they’ll fight me on it, and that could ruin our chance.”
He places his hand in hers again. “Us. Otherwise they’ll fight us on it.”