Hooking up with chicks was never a problem for us, because like school, we had different interests when it came to types. I loved me some blondes, especially the natural ones. My brother was all about the brunettes, and they had to be studious. If he nailed a stupid girl, the whole world would hear about it for days on end.
By the beginning of our junior year we were well-known on campus. We lived life to the fullest, but never took each other for granted. At the end of the day there was no one else I wanted to bunk with. Every morning when I woke up I knew my partner in crime would be at my side, and if one of us had a bad day the other knew how to cheer them up.
Like a lot of couples that stand the test of time, Jake and I had spent every day of our lives together. That’s a hard task considering how many twenty-two years adds up to. There was not one day in all those years where I wished he didn’t exist; where I wondered if my life would be better if he was never born.
There’s scientific studies that prove twins have some existential gene, which enables us to communicate differently, on another wave length even. If Jake was somewhere on the field and he’d gone down I knew it without looking. If he was having a bad day, his mood radiated through me.
I think that’s why it bothers me so much that I never saw this coming. For the life of me I couldn’t remember one time ever worrying that this could be a possibility. Never, in a zillion years would I have pegged Jake to not only lie to me, but steal something so precious.
Months later it’s still left me wounded. Like a broken soldier coming home for the first time and not knowing his place, I knew I had to leave my home and move to Kentucky. There was no other way.
I think the kicker was that no matter how hard I tried to recover; even in my hardest attempts, I couldn’t stop seeing it play out in my mind, like a damaged, repetitive record player.
My brother, my very best friend in the entire world, had not only fallen in love with my girlfriend, my very first love, but he’d taken her from me behind my back. He slept with her knowing how much it would hurt me, and that if I ever found out he’d lose me forever. What did that say about our relationship? Did he think of me as one of the cheap little sluts on campus he never called back?
That’s how low I felt.
It’s easy to sit here and put all the blame on my brother, but I was fully aware it takes two people to be together. Jake never forced Reese to be with him. She ran to him on her own, claiming their connection was undeniable.
Well, my god damn hate for them was undeniable too.
Looking back now I wished I hadn’t left things the way I did. Jake was trying to prove to me that I was more important. He cut her off, and hadn’t talked to her for months. It was me who got them back together, and I’d been kicking myself in the ass ever since. Now I had to dwell in the fact that they were happy, while I was still struggling to find my fucking way.
Sure, when the sun was up I kept busy. I was surrounded by my family, and we carried on just like if I were at home, but the nights only brought more pain and suffering. I was alone and there was no denying that fate. As much as I missed the twenty-two years of waking up and knowing my buddy was going to be there waiting for me, I couldn’t look back.
I refused to, because that would only make me weak, when I was so desperate to be strong.
Jake tried to contact me a few times. If I hadn’t made it clear when I left that he was the reason, I assumed he’d finally gotten the hint. My cell phone hadn’t displayed his number in weeks, and according to my sister he was hardly ever around. I knew she was trying to refrain from saying who he was with, like I was a piece of glass that was ready to shatter. Perhaps in many ways I’d become a pussy. They didn’t know what I did behind closed doors, when nobody was around to judge me. They didn’t know the pain of losing a brother. They couldn’t begin to understand what it felt like to be alone for the first time in my life. None of them had lived this fate. I was a lone wolf, trying to survive in the forest alone. When I howled at the moon there wouldn’t be an echo to follow. No one was coming to join my pack. I was on the path to extinction.
For the first month of being in Kentucky I stayed at my aunt’s mansion. It was lavish with lots of southern décor that had been in the house since before I was born. Since it was only she and her housekeeper, I basically had a whole wing to myself. That was the pros to living there. The cons were that there were pictures of me and my brother in every damn nook and cranny.
My Aunt Van loved to take pictures. She’d been doing photo sessions for us since we were all very little. In everyone’s homes were reflections of us children growing up. Through love and laughter we’d shared so many memories. When you’re a twin you tend to get your picture together, more times than apart. It just goes to show you how probably every other twin on the planet keeps a good standing relationship with their sibling, instead of banging their brother’s girl and stealing her out from under your feet at a cabin in the middle of a snow storm.
Not to get carried away, but it bothers me. Still to this day it pisses me off. If I didn’t find reprieve soon I was going to go ape-shit crazy.
So after that first month I moved into the old trailer that had been passed down through the years. It wasn’t anything fancy, but it would suffice until I could figure out what I was going to do with my life. According to my parents I was coming home to continue my football scholarship, but I wasn’t real sure about that.
From the time I started playing I’d done so with Jake. He’d been injured, and could no longer participate. As mad as I still was, I couldn’t imagine walking out onto that field without him there next to me. I think he sort of had an idea that I was thinking about quitting school, but he hadn’t mentioned it to anyone yet, or else I’d be hearing a lot of shit from my dad especially. One of my biggest problems with college was that I just wasn’t good at school. Give me a ball, I could make magic happen. Stick a pencil in my hand, I sat there like a stiff rock.
Had it not been for my brother I never would have made it this far, and if they didn’t believe that they could look at my final exam grades and see how true that statement really was. I’d failed almost every one. Thank God I’d done well enough that my GPA would allow me to be involved in the sport’s program, but I was borderline being benched.
With that being added to my already fucked up problems, I couldn’t grasp how I was to manage it all. Some way or another I had to force myself to get up every morning, though it was getting harder by the day, and just when I thought I’d hit rock bottom, someone came knocking on my trailer door that I hadn’t expected to see.
There was my brother, clean shaven and smiling. I looked past him to see if he brought the woman that ripped out my heart and fed it to birds, but didn’t see her anywhere. “I came here alone, bro.”
“What for?” Maybe she’d dumped him. Wouldn’t that be ironic?
“It’s time to come home, Jax. Enough is enough.”
I swung open the door and backed away from it. “I am home,” I said confidently.
“No, you’re not, and I’m not leaving here until you admit that too. In fact, I’m staying for as long as it takes to make you see that we need each other.”
“You seem to be doing fine all on your own, brother. From what I hear you’re tied at the hip with Medusa herself.”
“Jax, seriously? Can you be more childish? You’re the one that got us back together.”
“That doesn’t mean I like it. I just didn’t see why we both had to live in misery. Why not let you have the one thing that tore us apart. I mean, what better revenge than to know that every time you look at her you think of how you destroyed me.”
Jake looked away. I could tell he was annoyed and I was glad about it. He deserved a lifetime of teardowns.
“I’m not here to talk about Reese. This is about you and me, and your place in life.”
“My place is as far away from you as I can get.”
Jake opened the trailer door, which took
me by surprise. He’d just said he wasn’t going anywhere. “What’s wrong? Do you realize you came all this way for nothing?”
He smirked. “Nah, I’m just grabbing my things. I’ll be back to cuddle in a sec.”
I slammed the door and stormed to the refrigerator for a beer, wondering how I could make him angry enough that he’d leave, because there was no way that he or anyone else could convince me that I belonged alongside my twin brother.
Chapter 2
Jax
As pissed as I was, I knew I didn’t have a choice when it came to Jake’s visit. One way or another he’d find a way to wedge himself into my life, and my future. My only regret was not having made arrangements to keep me away from the ranch.
Jake came back in with a large bag over his shoulder. When he dropped it to the laminate flooring a loud smack filled the room. He clapped his hands together and made a face like a cute little rabbit with an extra gleam in his eyes. “Let’s get this party started. Give me a beer.”
“Get it yourself,” I said while walking out of the room. If he expected me to cater to him he had another thing coming, because I wasn’t doing shit for Jake. He’d already gotten enough from me. We could spend the rest of our lives celebrating holidays and birthdays and I wouldn’t need to fork out a cent. I’d paid him with my girlfriend, and to me, that would be the only gift he’d ever receive.
Jake took it upon himself to fetch a beer and follow me into the living room. The left side of the old green couch was my favorite spot in the house. Before I was able to plop my ass down, Jake dove in front of me, spilling a good bit of his cold brew over his shirt. “I can see that this is going to be a habit of yours.”
“What’s that?” He asked.
“Taking everything I love and making it yours. Jake, I get that you drove all this way, but you’re not going to change my mind, and frankly, I’m doing just fine without you.”
Jake sat up and started wiping off his face. “Sticks and stones, brother.”
It was blatantly obvious that it would take more than pissing him off to get him to leave. While sulking, I sat down in the recliner across from him. It would have been better if I turned on the television, or got up, jumped in a vehicle and drove away, but the shock of him showing up had my mind all fucked up. “How’d you get away from your girl?” Calling her that made me cringe.
Jake leaned forward with his elbows on his knees. “I’m not here to talk about Reese. I think it’s best if we keep that topic off limits.”
“Why? Did she dump your ass?”
My brother smiled and simply sipped on his drink. “What do you want to hear, Jax? You want me to say we’re not together?”
I thought about it for a second. Did I want to hear him lie just so that I could feel better about myself? Would that even work? “No. Forget it. I don’t want to know.”
The room got quiet for a second, and I was beginning to wonder how in the hell I was supposed to hang out with him when I had nothing to talk about. Then it hit me, like a ton of bricks. “Well, you’re probably going to have to hang out here alone. I’ve got plans tonight, and I know you won’t be able to come with me.”
“Why? Is it a date?”
“No. It’s a place your girlfriend wouldn’t approve of.”
“I make my own choices, Jax. She’s trusts me.”
With that statement I had to get up and walk away. Already, we were off to a rocky start.
It only took my brother a couple minutes to seek me out. I was preparing to jump in the shower, after scrambling Noah and Ethan together for a night out on the town. Noah was reluctant, but Shalan insisted that he come along to get him out of her hair. Apparently since their wedding they’d been tied at the hip. Though he didn’t want to go, Shalan felt it was important that he have some breathing room to unwind.
With two more guys coming along, I felt less likely to kill my brother when he decided to follow me. My only hope was that there would be a slew of hot chicks so I could hook up with one, or maybe a few, right in front of his jealous face.
In all honestly Jake was too good of a guy to be jealous. He didn’t need to be on the lookout for something else, not when he already had the perfect woman at home. The thought made my skin crawl.
“So where are we going?” Jake asked as I came out of the bathroom, following a very hot shower.
“Out. Does it matter?”
“No. I was just wondering. Should I eat now, or will there be food?”
I raised my brow, dropped my towel and began doing stretches. It was something I did to annoy him when we used to room together. Jake turned around quickly. “Dude, seriously? You’re still doing that stupid shit? I figured you’d grow out it.”
“I happen to enjoy looking at myself. My nipples are so cute,” I said in a sexy female voice.
My brother didn’t laugh, not that I expected him to. He had a thing about being serious when I acted too immature. Some things never change. “So seriously, where are we going?”
I turned around and saw him sending a message on his phone. Annoyed, I rolled my eyes and looked away. He was texting her while sitting in the room with me. Did he have no compassion? “Really? You can’t go without talking for one night?”
Jake tossed his phone across the bed. “See for yourself. I haven’t sent Reese a message since I arrived. She’s off to visit her family this weekend, and won’t even get off of a plane until tonight. The message was from Christian. She wanted to know if she could come along, or is it just for guys? To be honest, I’d like to spend time with her while I’m here, but you’re making the plans.”
“No one invited you to go with us tonight, Jake. You could stay back and hang out with Chris. I’m sure she’d be happy to see you, unlike how I’m feeling about you barging in on my weekend like you did.”
“Chill the fuck out, bro.” I hated hearing him call me that. Yes, we were brothers, always and forever, born on the same day, sharing the same DNA, but I didn’t have to like it, not anymore. That part of my life was done. Going back would only bring me pain. Jake brought me pain, and I wished he’d get that through his head and leave, before I got drunk and made this situation even worse. “I told you why I’m here. I’m not leaving until we work this out.”
“Well tonight I’m going out and getting some pussy. If you care to tag along so be it, but I wouldn’t recommend bringing Chris along. Noah would just get pissed and be overprotective. You know how he is, especially after what happened.” My cousin being sexually assaulted had changed more than just the way she lived her life. It had us all on high-alert, especially where she was concerned.
“Yeah. I get it. I just didn’t want to leave her out. I mean, I’m sure Ethan and Noah aren’t interested in picking up chicks.”
“That means that I get my choice of the tacos. Maybe I’ll go on a fucking smorgasbord. You better prepare yourself. There’s no telling how many chicks are coming home with me tonight.”
To be honest, I didn’t know why I was talking so much shit. If anyone could tell I was lying it was Jake. What pissed me off the most was that he didn’t even mind. It seemed like he was actually pleased about my optimism. Could this guy be any more ridiculous?
“If it gets too crowded there’s plenty of other beds I can sleep in around the ranch. I just hope they’re gone by morning. I was thinking we could take the four-wheelers out and go mudding. Ethan told me that you all had some new trails you’ve been using. Since it rained last week the ground’s perfect.”
After pulling the shirt over my head, I replied to my brother. “Look, I get that you’re trying, but I’m not interested in spending the day bonding. This shit ain’t going to work, Jake. Get it through your head.”
Jake stood up and walked to the doorway. I could see the conflict in his eyes. I’d finally hit a nerve. As relieved as I was, a part of me hated that I was pushing him away. He’d been the only person I could count on. Through thick and thin we’d been a team.
How had l
ife gotten so screwed up? Oh yeah, not only did he sleep with my girlfriend, but he stole her right out from under me. So what if I had to keep pushing that memory into my head. I couldn’t let myself forget, because I’d be the guy that everyone looked at as pathetic. I wouldn’t let my life come to that. I wouldn’t be weak, not even if it cost me my only brother.
“I’m still not leaving. Go ahead and push my buttons, Jax. If you think I haven’t prepared for this you’re mistaken. Since the day you pulled down that lane and moved away I’ve known I’m the only one that can bring you back. Fight me if you must, but things are going to change, not only because I want them to, but because deep down somewhere in that thick skull of yours, you want that too. So go on and fight me. Tell me everything you think will break me down. Make me feel like shit for falling in love with Reese. Do whatever you need to do to get it out of your system. I’m staying, for as long as it takes. Hell or high water, you’re coming home where you belong. You’re my best friend and we belong together.”
I could sit around being disgruntled, or I could go on with my night and show my brother that I was fine in Kentucky. If he wanted a battle, I was going to make it impossible for him to win. I’d be the happiest fucking guy he ever laid eyes on, and when his precious girlfriend requested his presence at home he’d be forced to run right back to her.
There was only one problem with my idea; following through with it. Since moving I hadn’t exactly wanted to go out anywhere. Hopefully his visit would get me out of my shell. I had something to prove, and I’d be damned if I didn’t have fun while I was at it.
Chapter 3
Jax
“So where are we going?” My brother asked after we’d all piled into Noah’s truck.
“Yeah, I want to know too. It’s not every night that I get a pass to hang out with the guys,” Ethan added.
Noah peered over at me in the passenger seat, and then back to my brother and Ethan. “I need to know where I’m drivin’ to.”
Jax Mitchell Page 2