Promise of Redemption

by Ellie St. Clair

  “Take it off,” he growled, sitting up to unbutton his shirt. She looked at him with wide eyes, her hair tumbling around her shoulders as she sat up.

  “Don’t hide from me,” he muttered as she clutched at her breasts. He knew he should be softer with her, whisper tender words that would make her feel comfortable, but he was so overcome that it didn’t seem as if he could say anything to convey how he felt. “You are my wife. Take your nightgown off.”

  Daniel saw her eyes narrow and he thought perhaps he would hear more of her thoughts regarding his commands later, but at this point, he no longer cared, so desperate was he. He did not ask again but continued to divest himself of his clothing, aware of her quiet gasp as the last of his undergarments were flung to the floor.

  Remember, she is untouched.

  The reminder had him stilling, looking over at his now naked wife, seeing the trepidation mixed with desire in her eyes.

  “You don’t need to be afraid,” he said slowly, trying to be patient in order to calm her fears as he climbed back onto the bed and settled himself beside her instead of atop. “I’m aware this is new for you, but I’ll make it good for you — I promise.”

  She swallowed, turning her head to look into his eyes as he let his hand trail across her breasts, and his body roared to life once more. He could not look away as he let his hand reach farther down her soft skin, wanting to see the expression on her face as he touched her very core.

  She jerked, her face burning with color and her eyes widening as he pressed his finger against her soft folds.

  “Daniel! I — I’m not sure—”

  “There is nothing shameful in what you feel,” he said softly, trying his best to rein in his burning passion before he took her without any consideration for her own enjoyment. “You are so beautiful, Christina.”

  He was shocked when tears fell from her eyes as they closed, and he lifted his hand from her, his passion ebbing away as he heard her sob.

  “Christina,” he breathed, not quite sure what to say. “I’m sorry. I didn’t mean….”

  She shook her head, opening her eyes and grasping his hand, bringing it to her mouth before pressing a gentle kiss to his knuckles. “I’m sorry, Daniel. It’s just that—” She broke off and sat up, looking away from him for a moment as she seemed to attempt to regain her composure. “It is just that no one has ever said that to me before. My father has always told me that I am barely tolerable, so to hear those words from your lips — whether you mean them or not — well, it means more than you know.”

  A surge of anger burst through Daniel’s heart as he took in Christina’s soft, sad smile, and he thought how unjust it was that no one had appreciated her beauty before.

  “Of course I mean it,” he replied, gently reaching to brush away her tears and marveling at how soft she was beneath his touch. “Just look at you, Christina. You are glorious.”

  She smiled at him then, her tears diminishing, and she was the only woman present in Daniel’s thoughts as he considered that he had never seen someone so lovely before. As they looked into one another’s eyes, Daniel felt his heart break open, the pain and grief of the past beginning to wash away as the affection he saw in Christina’s gaze swept a sense of healing into him.

  Christina kissed him then, taking him by surprise. Leaning forward, she let herself settle against him, and, with a tug, Daniel pulled her on top of himself. She did not gasp, did not cry out, but continued to let her lips rove over him, becoming the aggressor as she leaned down so that her breasts were pressed against his chest.

  He drank her in, his hands running over her gentle curves as his hardness now pressed against her soft entrance. He found himself aching for her, and he forced himself to remain still while she explored his body, though her actions only tantalized him all the more.

  Her hips moved and Daniel groaned, aware of Christina’s surprise — although whether that was from his ferocity or her own mounting pleasure, he could not say. His blood surged as she sat up, looking down at him as her fingers skimmed lightly down over his chest.

  Her skin seemed to glow in the firelight, her hair falling down about her shoulders and breasts. She was a goddess. Daniel reached out one hand and carefully pressed it between where their bodies met, hearing her explosive intake of breath as he touched her again.

  “Give in to it,” he murmured, as she began to rock of her own accord. “Don’t hold yourself back.”

  It took all of his strength not to lift her up and impale her on his member, but Daniel forced himself to wait until she reached her crescendo. Her eyes were closed, her head thrown back and, as he continued his ministrations, her body tensed.

  A loud moan emanated from her throat, and her breathing became as ragged as his. With his other hand, he reached up to caress one of her breasts. Even lost in the sensations, he heard her cry out in release. Wrapping his arms around her, he rested her back on the bed and, without hesitating, pushed himself inside.

  She cried out, her face wracked in pain, and Daniel remained still for a moment, as much as it tortured him.

  “It will pass in a moment,” he said softly, aware that her pain would be sharp but that it shouldn’t linger.

  “You are mine now, Christina,” he said more fiercely now, overcome by the euphoria that rushed over him at the thought.

  Her eyes fluttered open, and she looked into his face, her pained expression slowly fading.

  “You are so beautiful,” he whispered again, knowing what the words meant to her as he ran one finger lightly down her cheek and began to move slowly, wave after wave of bliss rippling through him. He had not allowed himself this release for years and found moans escaping from his mouth just as they had done from Christina’s.

  The pleasure built with an intensity he had never before experienced, his body tightening as he struggled to keep control of himself. Stars exploded in his mind as he gripped the sheets on either side of her head, and he opened his eyes to drink her in before, finally, his body bucked and writhed, and he pushed his seed into her.

  He had done it. Their marriage was consummated at last — and yet, deep within him, Daniel felt a desire for Christina begin to build in him again. It was as though his passions could not be sated by one single encounter, as though he would need her again and again.

  Slowly drawing back, he lay down next to his wife, knowing she was studying him but finding himself unable to return her gaze, afraid of what he would see in her eyes. Looking up at the top of her four-poster bed, Daniel felt Christina curl up next to him, her head resting on his shoulder and one arm thrown across his chest.

  “I love you, Daniel,” she told him softly.

  He froze, staring unblinkingly at one of the bedposts. Had he truly just heard those words from her? Or had they been in his own imagination?

  Had they been the memory of Laura whispering those very same words into his ear?

  Closing his eyes, Daniel felt his body cool, his shame beginning to mount an assault upon him once more. He had taken Christina to bed, but he had let his emotions roam free as he had done so. He had allowed himself to feel, to grow warm with affection for the lady who now lay drifting to sleep beside him.

  He had betrayed all the promises he had made to himself, and he groaned in realization of the folly of his actions. This was why he had kept his distance, what he was afraid could happen.

  Out of nowhere, Hudson’s words echoed through his mind. She is no longer with you, Daniel. You have every right to fall in love with your wife.

  He closed his eyes tightly, reaching to pull the sheet up around Christina. He did not want to feel anything for her, not when he had vowed never to love another. And it wasn’t fair for her to love him, either, for it would only set her up for heartbreak. This was wrong. He was bringing shame to Laura’s memory, was forgetting his promises.

  Slipping out of bed, he looked down at Christina, seeing her blonde tresses spread out across the pillow behind her. He’d meant it when he’d
told her she was beautiful, and anger still niggled him over what her father had told her. Even now, after falling into an exhausted sleep, she was lovely. Daniel could not remember ever seeing something so exquisite.

  And yet, he had to turn away from her. Until he had found justice for Laura’s death, he could never allow himself to forget his first love, nor the vows he had made. Christina would just have to understand that. She could never mean anything to him.

  All he had to do was force himself to believe it.

  18

  When she awoke only a few hours later, Christina had been disheartened to discover that Daniel was no longer in her bed. The place where he’d lain was cold, meaning he’d left her chamber some time ago.

  Her heart had grown heavy, and tears began to leak down her cheeks until she finally fell into a fitful sleep for a few hours, only to wake with a pounding head and an aching chest.

  Now, dressed and eating breakfast, she reflected on all that had taken place last evening. She had never meant to seduce Daniel, but she had sought him out to tell him of her encounter with Lord Northcliffe, and, she realized, to seek comfort.

  They had, after far too long, consummated their marriage, but it had turned out to be so much more than that. When their bodies joined in union with one another, she thought that finally, she had broken through the wall he’d built around himself, that she had found a place in his heart, regardless of the past. She had thought that the man she had seen last evening was the man she’d known dwelt underneath all that silence. He had been warm and tender, passionate and gentle as he’d led her through her first experience of lovemaking. Her emotions had roared to life as he’d touched her, and she had been shocked to find herself in the throes of passion as she opened herself up to reveal all she felt.

  And now, this morning, she felt alive yet broken. As she sat here alone, she wondered if it had all been nothing more than imaginings created inside her head. Daniel had found physical satisfaction with her, to be sure, but meanwhile, she had completely and utterly lost her heart. How, she didn’t know. He was rude, callous, standoffish, and yet there were times when she saw a completely different side of him. She saw the man who cared more for helping those in need than inheriting a dukedom. Sometimes, when Daniel didn’t know she was looking, Christina saw the haunted look pass over his face, as though he was struggling to keep from giving in to the darkness that threatened. And still, he took on the role of protector of others, put his family above all — why, he had married her in order to keep his family name intact as well as to continue his work. Somehow, she had found her way through a tiny gap in the wall he had built around his heart.

  It seemed that the love she’d felt burning into her soul was not an affection that would ever be returned. That, she now knew for certain. Daniel would not give himself to her completely, not when he still held Laura in his heart and mind. It was as if he could not give his first love up, could not allow himself to let go of the past. His loss of her had consumed him, had taken him over so that the only emotions he seemed to be capable of feeling were rage and a terrible, consuming thirst for justice.

  Christina would have to live her life knowing that the man she’d fallen in love with would never love her in return. He would give himself to her in the throes of passion but would leave her bed as quickly as he could, returning to his distant form. Did he imagine he was with another? The thought made her physically sick, and she couldn’t touch the food on the plate in front of her. Could she truly live with such a man, who would cast away her love with such callousness?

  “Ah, Christina! Good morning!”

  Christina paused, her hand halfway to her mouth as she held the teacup in her hand. “Lord Hudson,” she murmured, surprised to see him here so early. “What has brought you here this morning?”

  “Your husband,” Lord Hudson chuckled, as Daniel walked into the room, coming toward her. “He says he has something for us all to discuss.”

  Christina caught her breath as Daniel took her hand and pressed a kiss to the backs of her fingers, and she cursed her foolish heart as the now familiar heat rushed into her core.

  “Good morning, Christina,” he murmured quietly, his eyes searching her face. “Are you quite well today?”

  She swallowed, though her mouth had gone dry under the intensity of his gaze even as her heart broke all over again. “Yes, I am fine,” she replied, softly. And physically, she was. “Although I have been rather alone this morning, which I find I do not like.”

  He caught her meaning at once, his face burning crimson as he looked away from her, releasing her hand. Clearing his throat, he gestured for Lord Hudson to take a chair before looking back at them both.

  “Christina, I sent a message round to Lord Hudson in the early hours this morning, describing how Lord Northcliffe accosted you in the bookshop yesterday. This cannot be borne. We must do something about it.”

  Christina glanced at Lord Hudson, who was frowning as he poured himself a coffee.

  “And what do you intend to do, Ravenhall?” Lord Hudson asked, sounding a little unconvinced. “You know how I feel regarding your plans for the man. I will not be a party to murder, and neither will your wife, I think. If that is the action you wish to take, you are on your own.”

  Christina’s eyes widened as she turned to look at her husband, who was shooting a rather frustrated glance toward Lord Hudson.

  “I made a promise to each of you that before I undertake any rash actions, we must determine the man’s guilt. Following that … well, I have no intention of striking the man down in broad daylight, for I do not fancy the noose. However, something must be done.”

  “And what is that to be?” Christina asked, raising an eyebrow. No matter what Daniel felt was necessary, she believed that if he murdered the man, his soul would only grow blacker, and there would be no chance of rescuing him from the depths of depravity. “Do you have a plan for how to ascertain his guilt?”

  Christina saw Daniel clear his throat and sit up a little taller, as though he had come up with a marvelous idea.

  “We will make him confess.”

  Closing her eyes, disappointment crashed through Christina. That was not a plan which had any substance, not when Lord Northcliffe had been so careful not to say a word to anyone for so many years. There was no chance that Lord Northcliffe would confess a word.

  “And how will you do that, Daniel?” Lord Hudson asked, refilling Christina’s cup of tea, and she accepted it gratefully as it seemed it was all she could stomach at the moment. “The man is hardly likely to say anything of importance to anyone, and the authorities will need a credible witness — or three witnesses, I should say — before they will do anything about it. Even then, it will be difficult to have anything done about the matter, though you are fortunate your father holds great power.”

  Daniel shrugged. “We will need to come up with a plan,” he said. “Though I am thinking perhaps it may be best to take this into my own hands. My first idea is to slit his throat in the dead of night.”

  Christina dropped her teaspoon with a clatter, breathing hard as a vision of blood splattering across Daniel’s face tore at her mind.

  “He will not do anything of the sort, Christina,” Lord Hudson interrupted, calmly, frowning heavily at Daniel. “Will you, Ravenhall? But yes, you are correct to say that we do need to think of something. You have been chasing Lord Northcliffe for years, and I think if you are to have anything close to a happy future, you will need to remove him from your life for good.”

  “He needs to be found guilty over Laura’s death,” Christina said, slowly, watching as her husband turned to face her. “That is the only way you can ever leave this to rest, is it not?”

  Daniel nodded, though he looked somewhat contemplative, and Christina worried over whether he needed to see Lord Northcliffe guilty or whether he would need more than that. Her fears remained high that he would kill the man and spend the rest of his life consumed by his actions. “I am g
lad you understand, Christina.”

  There was no tenderness in his voice, no gentle smile on his face or warmth in his eyes as he spoke but rather just a firm practicality that made her want to weep.

  “Then what do we think we can do?” Lord Hudson asked, shooting her a sympathetic look as though he understood the difficulty she was facing with her husband. “How do we get a man so determined to remain silent on the matter of Miss Churston’s death to reveal himself to a group of witnesses? It is quite impossible.”

  Daniel nodded slowly, his gaze resting on Christina for a moment before he looked away. “There are ways to make a man talk,” he said with determination. “Lord Northcliffe cannot continue to infiltrate my life, nor be allowed to intimidate Christina just because he feels as though he has the power to do so.”

  Christina could not think, her mind too full of what had occurred between them last night and his return to his prior self this morning. Her head began to ache and she rubbed it ineffectually.

  “I think that—” Lord Hudson was interrupted by a sudden knock at the door, which opened to reveal the butler.

  “You have a note, my lord, from Mr. Stewart,” said Woodward.

  Christina watched as Daniel's eyes lit up, and she wished she could invoke that same reaction in him. He was more delighted by this note than by her presence, her smile, or her touch.

  “Ah, look!” he exclaimed, throwing the note to Lord Hudson. “Perhaps we do not need a plan after all. Perhaps we might be able to wheedle it out of him regardless.”

  Lord Hudson raised one eyebrow. “So Mr. Stewart has supposedly managed to find Lord Northcliffe in an inebriated state in White's,” he said, calmly. “What do you intend to do, Ravenhall?”

  Feeling a slight sense of dread, Christina saw her husband rise from the table at once.

  “We shall go now, you and I, and you will talk to him about Laura. Drink often loosens a man’s tongue, does it not?”