Seduced

by Jess Michaels

  “I do love you,” he whispered. Her face brightened with happiness, but he couldn’t join her in that joy. He took a long breath and said the words that broke his heart as much as the bullet had broken his shoulder. “But Letitia, you know love isn’t enough. We can’t be together. We never could.”

  Chapter Twenty-Four

  Letty stared at Jack, too moved by his second declaration of love, this one entirely conscious, to focus on his refusal to be with her. That refusal she had expected, whether he admitted he cared for her or not. The difference was now she had the reason to fight for what she wanted.

  And all she wanted was Jack Blackwood.

  “Are you listening to me, Letitia?” he asked, his dark eyes searching hers.

  She shook her head. “I stopped the moment you said you loved me.”

  His lips pressed together like he was frustrated. “But you must hear the rest. We can’t be together. It’s not possible.”

  “Oh, but it is,” she insisted. “You make it complicated, but it couldn’t be simpler. You love me, I love you, we marry and we are together. Of course, I would have some conditions.”

  He blinked. “Conditions?”

  Her smile fell. “Jack, I love you. I love you with everything in me and I love you for everything about you. You put your life at risk to save Griffin, even though he had betrayed us both. You did it for me. That means a great deal to me.”

  “Is he well?” Jack asked.

  “Yes,” she said. “This experience has changed my brother. Griffin is sober since everything happened, and has even begun to make amends for his bad behavior with my parents. And they were so horrified at nearly losing both of us that my father has loosened his grip a bit. I think a life of responsibility is what Griffin will now choose, if only to make up for the immaturity that caused so much pain.”

  “Good,” Jack said. “He isn’t a bad man. Just a man who made foolish choices.”

  “You see, that ability to forgive him, it is amazing,” she said. “One of the many reasons I love you. And yet…”

  “Yet…” he said, his tone wary, as if he expected her to strike out at him.

  “I couldn’t watch you go into the underground ever again, Jack. It would be too much to know you were in such danger and that our family would be in danger. My only condition to our being together is that you leave your life as Captain Jack behind you.”

  Jack looked at his arm, and his face went hard and unreadable. “My dear, I think that decision has been made for me. I’m injured badly enough that I think my continuing as leader would be impossible.”

  Letty frowned. The fact that Jack wouldn’t fight her on ending his life of crime made her happy. But his terrible injuries were the last thing she could celebrate. Especially since they’d nearly snatched him away from her.

  “Juliet and Dr. Wilkerson did what they could,” she said softly.

  “And they saved the arm,” he admitted, though he didn’t sound pleased.

  She nodded. “But are you saying that your injury is the only reason you would walk away from the underground?”

  She held her breath as she awaited the answer. She had to know, even if the words hurt.

  “No.” He sighed after what seemed like an eternity of pondering the question. “Even if I hadn’t been hurt, I have not been happy for a long time. I tried to convince myself it was merely malaise or something else. But I don’t want that life anymore. Hoffman can be Captain Jack. He’ll be just as good as I was.”

  She leaned in, pressing her lips to his. “Then we can be happy.”

  He used his good hand to gently push her away, and when she looked at him he was solemn and his pain was clear. “I’ve already told you, Letitia, we can’t.”

  “Why?” she asked.

  “Look at me,” he snapped, motioning to his arm. “I am half a man. And even if I weren’t, I am in no way worthy of you. To marry me would ruin that future you pictured, the one you came to me to claim. As I’ve reminded you what seems like a hundred times, my dear, I was only meant to be a tool to your happiness. I was never your end goal.”

  She stared at him. “Is that what you truly believe?” she asked blankly, shocked that he could be so intelligent and yet see so little of the truth.

  He nodded. “Of course. You are hysterical right now, but I cannot let that sweep me away and make me forget the truth.”

  She almost laughed. Hysterical? He hadn’t seen hysterical. Hysterical had been how she felt when Juliet said they might have to take Jack’s arm. Or when Wilkerson had come out of his chamber on the first night, ashen and uncertain if Jack would even live.

  Hysterical was her reaction to when she thought she might lose him. This was calm, this was reasonable, this was rational.

  “Let me explain a few things to you, Jack Blackwood,” she said, fighting to keep her voice calm so he wouldn’t use her emotions against her.

  “Letitia—”

  “No, I will speak,” she insisted.

  Jack blinked at her tone, and then nodded. “All right. My strong lady wishes to speak. So speak.”

  “First off, let me address your statement that you are half a man,” she said. “Yes, you were badly injured, and both Wilkerson and Juliet believe that you will likely be permanently damaged by the injury, though Juliet thinks there is hope for a great deal of mobility if we work carefully together.”

  “Hope is not going to make me whole,” he said, his tone bitter.

  “Work might,” she said, folding her arms. “Work I am more than willing to do right beside you. But even if your arm never heals and this is the best it can be—” She motioned at his arm, resting on the pillow. “—that doesn’t make you half a man. Men have come home from war with far worse injuries and gone on to live their lives. You will learn and adjust. We will adjust together. Would you think me half a woman if I had been the one struck down and left injured thusly?”

  He frowned. “Of course not.”

  “Then not another word about such a foolish notion,” she insisted. “I love you for all you are and I will never see you as half a man.”

  “Don’t you think you might change your mind when time has passed and I am not capable of doing things?”

  “Will you still be able to kiss me?” she asked, lifting her brows.

  He nodded warily, like he was trying to avoid a trap. “Yes.”

  “To make me shiver with pleasure?” she whispered.

  “I certainly hope so.”

  Her eyes filled with tears, ones she let fall. “To hold a child in your good arm?”

  A child. There was that ghostly child in his mind’s eye again. A perfect version of the two of them. He so desperately wanted to hold that child. He knew he would do anything to make it happen. “If there was a child in our future, yes.”

  “Then I will never regret anything. I vow that to you today, and I keep my vows. Ask anyone.”

  He almost smiled. “How did I earn the affection of such a remarkable woman?”

  “By being such a remarkable man,” she said swiftly. “Now let me address that very issue. You say you are not worthy of me. Why?”

  “Because I am a gutter rat,” he said immediately. “I have no title, no pedigree, no vast wealth to make up for my bad beginnings. You wanted that, Letitia. You wanted that future.”

  “No,” she said with a shake of her head. “I wanted a future. To find a man who would care for me as Noah couldn’t. To have a man who might want me just for who I was.”

  “But—”

  She lifted her hand, and he fell silent. “I don’t care about titles, Jack. Or money. Or land. Or even acceptance. I look at my cousin Audrey, who married a man many whisper is beneath her. She is joyous! And Claire—would you say she made a mistake matching with your brother, a man with the same upbringing as your own?”

  “No, of course not,” Jack said. “But Warrick is a far better man than I am. He dragged himself
out of the mire of our past and has proven himself worthy with his thriving business.”

  “His success has nothing to do with why Claire loves War,” Letty said softly. “I think you know that as well as I do.”

  “No,” he agreed, and it seemed reluctant. “I suppose you are right. He could be nothing and she would still love him.”

  Letty nodded, encouraged by his ability to recognize the truth, even if he wouldn’t transfer that ability to her. “I feel the same way, Jack. And in a way we will be more fortunate than even they are. Together we will move forward. Together we can make decisions about what to do next. We get to step away from the past together, Jack. That is what I want more than any treasure some ridiculous titled man could offer.”

  He stared at her, like he was reading her face, trying to see if she really meant those words. She leaned in, stroking his scruffy cheek, running her fingers against his lips.

  “Have faith in me, Jack. Have faith in us and our love.”

  “It isn’t you I doubt, my love,” he whispered against her fingers. “It’s me.”

  “Then know I have enough faith in you for both of us. Until you find that faith yourself, I shall bear it all for you and remind you every day that you have earned my heart.” She tilted her head. “Now tell me you love me and that you won’t disappoint me by walking away from the life we could share.”

  “The idea of a life with you is so very perfect,” he finally said. “Almost too perfect to believe.”

  She smiled, for she could see him cracking under her insistence. “Just take it, Jack.”

  He nodded, slowly at first, but then faster. “I want to,” he admitted, his voice catching. “Even though I know it will do you no favors.”

  “I disagree,” she whispered. “Losing you would be the worst thing in my life, Jack. And you can keep that from happening. You can save me from that fate just as you saved me from O’Malley.”

  “How?” he asked.

  “Ask me to marry you,” she said with a soft smile. “And pledge your future to mine.”

  He drew in a long breath and she waited, not very patiently, for him to decide if he was going to continue this argument. At last he reached for her hand. As their fingers tangled, he said, “Marry me, Letitia. For better or worse, be mine.”

  “Forever,” she whispered as her tears of relief and joy began to fall.

  He reached for her with his good arm and pulled her to him, sealing their well-fought and well-earned bargain with a kiss that seared her to her soul and let her know that everything would be all right. That her future was secure. And that they would love each other for the rest of their lives.

  Epilogue

  One Year Later

  “Nothing is worth doing that isn’t worth doing well,” Jack said, making War laugh as they stood together in the dimness of the stable, shining the saddles of the horses they had worked with that day. Jack had to do most of the work with his right hand, but he hardly noticed the weakness of his left anymore. He had adjusted to his wounds at some point. There was some lingering pain, especially when a storm brewed, but it was bearable.

  More than bearable when he thought of the life he now led.

  “It was kind of Mrs. Gray and her husband to offer Letitia and me the use of the big house until she recovers,” Jack said, setting his work aside as his brother did.

  The two of them left the stable and started up the big hill toward the huge house above. The Woodley estate in Idleridge was inhabited by Mr. and Mrs. Gray most of the time, with War and Claire and Jack and Letty staying in the newly built homes half a mile past the stables.

  “Mrs. Gray is so happy to be surrounded by Woodley babies,” War laughed. “She could just pile them up and nibble them all day. How is Letty feeling?”

  Jack smiled as he thought of his wife. Their daughter, Jillion, had been born ten days before. Letitia was just now getting back to her feet. “She is fine. Radiant, of course. But you know. After all, Gavin is just six months old—Claire still retains that ‘happy new mother’ expression.”

  “Claire would be beautiful in sack cloth,” War said with a laugh. “But I may be slightly biased in that account.”

  “A husband’s prerogative,” Jack said with a playful bow.

  They had reached the house now and entered, smiling at the servants as they moved toward the voices in the parlor. All the Woodleys were gathered there now for a family affair.

  Once Jack would have felt out of place at such an event, but now as he entered the room and was greeted by the cacophony of children’s laughter and shouted greetings from Letitia’s cousins and aunt and uncle, he welcomed it. It sank into his bones. It warmed him.

  But nothing warmed him more than the sight of his wife rising from her place on the settee, Jillion cuddled in her arms. She moved toward him with a wide smile, one he returned as he pressed a kiss to her lips and took his daughter.

  “How was the stable?” she asked.

  He nodded. “Fine. That mare is about to pop. Sometime this week we’ll have a new foal to coo over.”

  He smiled, and it wasn’t false. When he’d first come here to recover from his injuries, he’d never thought they’d stay. But War had helped and eventually began to ask for his assistance. Jack knew his brother was trying to help him, and at first he’d recoiled from the pity. But over the past few months he’d truly begun to take a shine to the work his brother did. It was honest and earthy, and it allowed him time with War outside instead of stuck in his bed like an invalid.

  “War says you’re a natural,” Letitia offered with a smile for her brother-in-law, who had now moved into the circle of her cousins and their spouses.

  He stared down at Letitia, drinking her in, breathing her in and all she represented. His new life, his second chance, his everything.

  “I love you,” he said.

  She jerked her gaze up, as if surprised by this declaration in the middle of the parlor. But then her face lit up. “I love you, Jack. Forever.” She placed her hand in the small of his back. “Now let’s join the others, shall we?”

  He nodded and followed her into the Woodley madness. To his family, to his home, to the place where he belonged. All because of her.

  Coming next from USA Today Bestselling Author Jess Michaels:

  A wedding that cannot happen…

  A man who is not what he seems…

  A woman who betrayed for love…

  And a couple who can never be.

  It will all happen during one year of passionate Seasons. Starting with An Affair in Winter, coming July 12. Turn the page to read the entire first chapter.

  Excerpt of

  An Affair in Winter

  Seasons Book 1

  Chapter One

  Rosalinde Wilde pulled the edges of her worn pelisse tighter around her body and yet she still shivered. The thin fur lining did almost nothing to block out the bitter wind that seemed to swirl in the carriage around her and her maid. Poor Gertrude huddled closer to her, the two women seeking body heat to save them from the chill.

  “Great God,” Rosalinde muttered as she fought to keep her teeth from chattering. “Grandfather meant to punish me by making me take this older carriage to Stenfax’s estate, but this is beyond the pale.”

  Gertrude shrugged. “H-how could anyone guess that a rare snow storm would hit in October?”

  Rosalinde kept her council on that question. She feared that even if her grandfather had known a chance storm would overtake them on the road, he might have still forced her to follow him and her beloved sister Celia to the country now instead of allowing her to accompany them when they made their own trek ten days before. After all, he claimed Rosalinde was a bad influence on Celia. And he seemed to like hurting then both.

  A blast of loud wind hit the vehicle, rocking it back and forth violently. Rosalinde squeezed her eyes shut. Without the inclement weather, their carriage would normally be rushing along at a br
isk clip. Now they hardly moved as the snow swirled and the wind howled. She pitied poor Thomas and Gertrude’s husband Lincoln, their groom and driver, who had to ride out in the elements.

  “We’ll never make it to Caraway Court tonight, Mrs. Wilde,” Gertrude all but wailed.

  Caraway Court. It was the estate of Celia’s intended, the Earl of Stenfax, where Celia would be wed in just over a fortnight. The name made it sound very grand, indeed, but Celia had written that there were parts of it that were somewhat in shambles, proof of Stenfax’s need for a bride with a dowry. Of course, Celia needed to wed a man with a title, so the match was perfect.

  Rosalinde sighed, determined to push away troubling thoughts. She squeezed Gertrude’s gloved hand and focused instead on comforting her frightened maid. Rosalinde was strong. She’d always had to be.

  “Oh Gertie,” she said softly. “We’ll be fine!”

  She smiled in the hopes Gertrude would not see her own hesitations and fears about the idea of being stranded in the freezing cold. But no sooner had she managed a look she hoped didn’t resemble a grimace, the carriage came to a stop.

  Rosalinde sighed as she pulled back the curtain covering the drafty window. Outside the storm swirled on and the late afternoon sun was fading far faster than it should have been. Fear gripped her despite her best efforts to keep it at bay.

  The carriage rocked and suddenly Thomas, her groom, appeared at the window. He smiled shakily and opened the door. Although he tried to block it, wind and snow blew in around him.

  “I’m sorry, Mrs. Wilde,” he said, “but I don’t think we can go much further. There isn’t much snow in reality, but the wind is blowing it around so much that it’s near impossible to see.”

  Rosalinde nodded. “I can see it’s getting treacherous, indeed. But what are we to do, Thomas? We may freeze if we stay out in the elements overnight.”