Impossible Things

by Alexandra McBrayer

  Lucy sat down next to Sam, grabbed his hand, and squeezed it. His smile was grateful and she leaned forward to kiss him on the cheek before turning to see that her grandmother was ordering champagne. “Isabella it’s only eight. I think it’s a little too early in the day for Sam and me to be drinking. We’ve been flying for most of the night.”

  Her grandmother dismissed her concern with a wave of her hand and told the waiter, “Add some glasses of orange juice for the young people please.”

  The waiter nodded and performed a move that was close to a bow before walking off, and Lucy smiled at the realization that her grandmother still had the ability to make men do her biding with a single flick of the wrist.

  Isabella grabbed Rodrigo’s hand and brought it to her mouth to kiss the back of it before reaching out to squeeze the top of his thigh. Her hand was so close to his groin that as she pulled it away it brushed against him and Lucy watched as Rodrigo smiled devilishly at her grandmother.

  She felt Sam jerk in surprise. Obviously he had seen it too, and she squeezed his hand again to try and calm him as she asked, “So how long have the two of you been married?”

  Sam’s head jerked towards her at that and she felt the tension build in his body. Her grandmother must have seen it as well because she reached out to pat Sam on the shoulder before answering. “Two years now. We met through a mutual friend and it was love at first sight. When he told me his name the next morning I knew it was fate.”

  Lucy turned to look at Sam and saw the look of shock on his face but before she could say anything the waiter was back again with the champagne and orange juice as another waiter piled the table high with sandwiches and pastries.

  Her grandmother reached out, took a mini éclair, and bit into it. There was no such word as diet in Isabella Lennox’s life. In her book life wasn’t about taking things away, it was about adding them. Isabella believed that life was to be lived to the fullest, and she did everything in her power to do just that.

  When the cream from her éclair exploded she licked some of it away and then caught the rest with her black-gloved finger and reached out to feed it to Rodrigo. Lucy watched in fascination as Rodrigo took her Grandmother’s gloved-finger and sucked it into his mouth.

  She turned to see Sam’s reaction but he was looking at his lap and not at the scene in front of them. Poor Sam.

  Her grandmother finished the éclair and wiped her mouth, careful not to smear her scarlet lipstick. She took a long swallow of champagne and sighed contently. Her words, when they came, were a repeat of Lucy’s thoughts. “Poor Sam I can see that I’ve shocked you. I’m sorry about that. But we Lennox women are known for our passions. As far back in recorded time as you can go, the Lennox women have been known for living large and satisfying all their desires.”

  To punctuate her sentence she reached out and squeezed Rodrigo’s thigh again before turning back to look at Lucy and Sam. “Though I shouldn’t say all Lennox women. My daughter Rosaline has chosen a different path and married a stick in the mud. George doesn’t approve of my lifestyle or me, and when Lucy was seven he kicked me out of their home. I didn’t expect to see my girls again in this lifetime, so when Lucy called and said that the two of you were moving to London, I was thrilled. I’m looking forward to spending time with my granddaughter and also getting to know you Sam.”

  Lucy saw the tension leave Sam’s body and she smiled to herself. She never had understood how it was possible for her father to withstand the powerful Lennox charm, but it looked as if Sam wasn’t able to.

  She watched as Sam took a drink of his orange juice before he said, “Ma’am…I mean Isabella…you said you had a story about Lucy’s name?”

  Her grandmother smiled and took another gulp of champagne before saying, “Oh my dear Sam, yes. We have a lot of very wild stories in this family that I’d be happy to share, but the one you want now is about the naming tradition that we have. You see one of our Lennox ancestors was a patron of Shakespeare. Wild Willy the family calls him. Anyway, the rumor was that my great-great…well how many ever greats it was, grandfather, and Wild Willy were lovers. Whether that was true or not, we don’t know. But we do know that when my ancestor and his wife had children, seven daughters to be precise, they named each of them after a character in a Shakespeare play. The tradition has continued ever since. We tend to girls and each of them is named for a character in a Shakespeare play. So your Lucy is actually Luciana Ophelia. Her father didn’t like the idea at all, but for the first, and I think last time, my daughter stood up to him.”

  Lucy saw Sam smile and she was suddenly grateful to her grandmother. There was a lot more to the story then that but Isabella had cleaned it up for Sam’s benefit.

  They finished their orange juice and pastries while her grandmother quizzed Sam over his internship. Lucy could tell that her grandmother was surprised when Sam said he was in banking but Isabella didn’t say anything. Lucy knew, with the instinct of a Lennox, that bankers were considered boring and drab. They were the people you hired to watch your money, not the people you married.

  She was grateful when Rodrigo said, “London is the best city in the world for banking. This opportunity should get you a lot of offers.”

  Sam smiled at that and Lucy squeezed his shoulder with pride. She looked up, caught her grandmother’s eye and saw a look of concern flash across Isabella’s face. Lucy turned and looked out the window at the tarmac, refusing to acknowledge it.

  Her grandmother insisted on giving them a ride to their flat despite Lucy’s protests. Rodrigo took his cell phone out, made a call, and when they went outside a long, black limo was waiting for them. The ride was a quiet one as they stared out the windows at the passing scenery. Lucy had been to London many times as a child to see her grandmother but it had been a long time before, and London looked different through her adult eyes.

  The city seemed large and impenetrable and Lucy hoped that she would be able to find her way around. She knew it would take time to get adjusted but she wanted it to be sooner rather than later. Sam would be busy with work and she would have to find an internship herself and learn the city on her own.

  She didn’t remember much about the different London neighborhoods but she was able to see that the houses that they were passing weren’t as nice as those at home. She had never really thought about it before, but London, like any big city, had its bad parts and as they went further and further away from the airport she realized that she and Sam would be living in one of them.

  She kept her eyes on the passing scenery because she didn’t want to see the look that she knew would be on her grandmother’s face, and when they finally stopped in front of a house Lucy gave a sigh of relief. It wasn’t the greatest neighborhood but the house itself was the best on the block.

  They got out and as Sam helped the driver get their luggage out of the trunk she finally turned and looked at her grandmother and Rodrigo. Her grandmother’s face reflected exactly what she had expected it to. Lucy started to turn back to the house but before she could her grandmother grabbed her arm and said, “Luciana you can’t be serious! You can’t live here.”

  Lucy turned to make sure that Sam hadn’t heard Isabella before leaning towards her. “This is what Sam found so we’ll live here and we’ll be fine.”

  Her grandmother shook her head, “But-”

  Lucy cut her off. “No! Sam picked this out and this is what we can afford. Don’t say anything to him.”

  Her grandmother sighed and pulled her fur up around her neck. Isabella had a look on her face that Lucy recognized easily because it was one that she saw from time to time reflected in her own mirror-stubbornness. Lucy moved towards her and held out her arms, “Isabella I love you, but on this I won’t give in. I won’t have him feel bad.”

  He grandmother sighed and shook her head before pulling Lucy to her. But Lucy knew it wasn’t over. As long as her grandmother had breath in her body she would fight her, but in this instance Lucy wouldn’t
let her win.

  Chapter Four

  Lucy and Sam quickly settled into their flat and into their new life in London. She hadn’t been able to find an internship, they were scarce after the economic collapse, but by the beginning of the second month she had found a job as an assistant in a company that organized tours of historic houses.

  It didn’t pay much but at least it kept her busy. Because of the hours that his internship expected him to work, and his need to socialize to make contacts, Lucy saw Sam for less than an hour a day. It was a lonely life, which she hadn’t counted on. She had her grandmother to visit but she had been avoiding her because she didn’t want to hear what Isabella had to say about Lucy’s life, and about Sam.

  Finally, unable to put it off any longer, on her way home from work one day, she stopped to see Isabella. As she made her way down her grandmother’s street the leaves were just beginning to turn and the air had a crispness to it that hadn’t been there the day before.

  Isabella’s neighborhood was a completely different London from the one that she and Sam lived in, and Lucy allowed herself to acknowledge how beautiful it was. The houses weren’t normal houses; they were mansions, huge and stately with the sheen of age and money. Because the sun was already setting she could see into one as she passed and the warm glow from its lighted windows made her wish that she lived there.

  Shaking her head at such a traitorous thought she told herself that it wasn’t good to wish for a life that she couldn’t have. When she realized it was the same thing that her father had been telling her for her entire life she felt sick to her stomach. Her dad was a world away and yet in many ways he still controlled her.

  “Lucy, are you okay?”

  Startled she looked up to see that Rodrigo was standing in front of her, and the sight of him made her suddenly feel like crying. She managed not to but he saw the look on her face and reached out to her. “What is it?”

  She shook her head and blinked to clear her eyes. “Nothing. Nothing. I’m fine.”

  He pulled her towards him and hugged her. “My angel what is it? Tell Grandpa and he’ll fix it.”

  Lucy laughed at that and pulled back to look at him. His dark brown eyes were twinkling and a devilish smile brightened his face. She slapped his chest and he laughed, shook his head, and put his arm around her they turned. It was only then that she realized that she had been standing in front of her grandmother’s house.

  As they neared the front door she looked over to the right and saw her grandmother at the window looking out with a worried frown upon her face.

  A butler in full livery opened the front door and Lucy bit back the smile that threatened as he took her coat. Rodrigo escorted her to a drawing room off to the right and the minute the door opened her grandmother was across the room and pulling Lucy into an embrace. “My Luciana what is it? Rodrigo and I were having a drink and looked up to see you standing there looking so forlorn.”

  Lucy breathed in the scent of her grandmother’s perfume and shook her head. “Nothing’s wrong. Nothing at all.”

  Her grandmother pulled back to look at her face and Lucy forced a smile. There was no way that she was admitting her temporary feeling of longing to Isabella.

  Her grandmother’s eyes narrowed but she didn’t say anything. Isabella turned and made her way over to the sofa. “Come. Sit and tell us what you’ve been doing.”

  She sat and as her grandmother handed her a glass of champagne Lucy told them about her job and about Sam’s work. She made sure that she sounded cheerful and positive as she described their new life but more than once she saw her grandmother and Rodrigo exchange a look. Lucy dreaded knowing what it meant, but it didn’t take long for Isabella to come to the point. “Lucy…”

  Lucy felt her back go up. This was exactly why she hadn’t come to visit before; this was the conversation that she had been dreading. She bit her lip and met her grandmother’s gaze.

  “Sam seems like such a nice boy-“

  “He is,” Lucy interrupted her.

  “I’m sure. He seems so sweet and gentle and I can see that you care for him-“

  Lucy interrupted again, “More than that, I love him. And he loves me. We plan on getting married.”

  Her grandmother and Rodrigo shared another glance and Lucy saw that Isabella’s mouth was compressed into a thin, red line. “Yes you love him, I can see that. But what I meant is that you’re a little young to settle down. You just graduated a few years ago and you need some time to be young and explore the world.”

  Lucy quickly shook her head. “You were twenty-two when you and my grandfather met. I’m twenty-seven.”

  Isabella closed her eyes and Lucy felt bad when she realized what she had said. Even after all these years the topic of her grandfather was still a painful subject. When Isabella opened her eyes Lucy saw that there was a shimmer of tears in them and Rodrigo put his hand out and rubbed his wife’s back. Isabella smiled at him in thanks. It was a tender moment and Lucy felt as if she was intruding on it.

  Isabella took a deep breath and said, “Yes that is true, but Sebastian was different. He was a man of the world and he loved me enough to see that I still had growing to do. He let me do that, and he helped me grow into the woman that I was meant to be.”

  “Well Sam can help me.”

  “No he can’t,” Isabella said and shook her head, “No he can’t, and you and I both know it. He’s sweet and kind Luciana but that’s not what you need. You need a man who challenges you, who excites you. A man that you can fight with and make love with. You need passion. You’re a Lennox.”

  “I am a Lennox, but I’m also a Jacobs. Maybe I have more of my dad in me than I have of you. Maybe I’m not like you. Maybe I’m like my mom.”

  Her grandmother looked pained at that, and Lucy saw that Isabella had paled under her make-up. “Do you really think that your mother is happy?”

  It was the first time that they had discussed her mom and Lucy felt guilty about that. She had promised her mom that she would tell Isabella that Rosaline missed her and she had failed to do that. “She said she misses you.”

  Her grandmother nodded and Lucy saw Rodrigo rub her back again. “I miss her as well. Every single day of my life I miss her. I wake up in the morning and I say a prayer for her and for you. I want so much for both of you to be happy. The two of you mean more to me than anything on the face of this earth.”

  Isabella began crying and stunned Lucy sat in silence, not knowing what to do. It was the first time that she had seen her grandmother look anything less than perfect as mascara ran down her face in black lines.

  Rodrigo pulled Isabella to him and as her face touched his shoulder her lipstick left red marks on his white shirt. “Shhh, shhh, my darling. It’s okay. It’s okay.”

  It was obvious from the way that he held and touched Isabella that Rodrigo loved her, and Lucy felt something turn in her stomach at the thought. She had looked at them and seen what the rest of the world saw, a woman in her seventies, married to a gorgeous young man, and had thought the worst, that Rodrigo had married her grandmother for her money. Lucy felt ashamed of herself for judging something that she didn’t understand.

  After a few minutes her grandmother stopped crying, and Rodrigo used his handkerchief to wipe away the tears and mascara from her face. Isabella’s mouth was bare and Lucy felt like an intruder as her grandmother leaned forward, kissed her husband, and said, “I love you.”

  He kissed her back, and it was a kiss full of passion as he said, “I love you too.”

  Isabella slowly turned back to Lucy. “I’m sorry for that. It’s painful for me to talk about your mother. But I want you to know that I love the both of you and that I’m sorry that I couldn’t be the mother and grandmother that George wanted me to be.”

  “Oh no!”

  Her grandmother shook her head, and raised her hand. “Stop. I know how he saw me, how he’ll always see me, and honestly I wouldn’t care if it wasn’t for you and your mo
ther. For years I was plagued with guilt for not at least trying to pretend around him. I told myself that I was being selfish, but I couldn’t do it. I didn’t want to lie and pretend, and I didn’t want to teach you by example to lie about who you are. Each of us can only be the person that we are, and do the best that we can by our children.”

  “Mom loves you.”

  Isabella took a deep breath. “I know she does and I love her but I’ll never understand the life that she’s chosen, and though I very much regret that, I cannot change it.”

  Rodrigo cleared his throat and said, “I have not been fortunate enough to have a child but I would imagine that it is hard when you see your child…,” he gestured toward Lucy, “or your grandchild, do something that you think will make them unhappy and yet they won’t listen.”

  Her grandmother nodded her head. “Yes, it is. I understood that Rosaline loved George. I could even have learned to accept it, but then I saw her changing who she was for him. The longer that she was with him, the less I saw of my Rosaline. She became someone else and I couldn’t stand it.”

  Lucy asked, “Was that what you fought about that last time?”

  Her grandmother reached out and picked up her half-full glass of champagne, and took a sip before saying, “Yes. We had gone shopping that day; you, Rosaline, and I, and we had come back late. We walked in and he started on her immediately. He was furious that she hadn’t been home, waiting on him. He hadn’t known where she was, and she hadn’t left a note. When she apologized to him I saw red. He talked to her like she was beneath him and she was the one apologizing. I was furious.”

  She drained the rest of her glass of champagne and said, “I didn’t say anything even though I wanted to. To sit back and watch your daughter be yelled at-“

  She stopped and stared down at her hands as she blinked back tears, “Well I hope it’s something that you never have to endure because it was awful. That was my daughter, my baby who I had carried inside me, and loved from the second that I knew about her. My baby was being verbally attacked, and it was horrible. I felt as if I was being torn in two.”