Valeria sighed. She was sorry to distress Lady Farrington, who had shown her every kindness, and she hoped that her behavior would not cause undue embarrassment. But she would not allow her chaperone’s opinions to overturn her own.
Given the contretemps at the Insley ball, their at-home was attracting a larger number of guests than usual. Despite Valeria’s lack of fortune, Lady Winterdale’s sponsorship had been sufficient to attract to her the interest of half a dozen courtiers, though Sir William Parham had been the most assiduous. Many of Valeria’s dance partners from the previous evening as well as a number of acquaintances, their avid curiosity barely concealed under an exchange of polite conventionalities, crowded into her drawing room.
By the time she had fended off for the tenth time the same probing questions about her meeting with Teagan Fitzwilliams, some of them phrased in terms so insulting to that gentleman that she was hard put to reply civilly, she was ready to trade so-called “polite society” for a clan of Aborigines that very afternoon.
She wasn’t sure whether to be pleased or annoyed when Sir William lingered after the other guests departed to beg her company for a stroll about the gardens. Knowing she might not be able to respond courteously to the warning she feared he meant to deliver, she hesitated a long moment before finally taking the arm he offered.
“Thank you for allowing me to remain,” he said once they’d reached the rose walk. “I wanted to apologize, which I wasn’t able to do last night before Lady Farrington or this afternoon in a drawing room full of guests.”
“Apologize?” Valeria repeated, defenses on alert.
“Yes. I hadn’t meant to belittle the attractions you wished to see in London, nor disparage your brother’s advice. Although the West India docks are an…unusual site to capture a lady’s interest.”
She found herself bristling. “I’m an unusual lady.”
He smiled. “You are indeed.”
Instantly suspicious, Valeria looked up at him. But in his hazel eyes, quite fine if not as uncommonly brilliant as Mr. Fitzwilliams’s, she read not censure, but sincere appreciation. She allowed herself to relax a bit.
“I found myself wondering if Mr. Fitzwilliams kept your appointment.”
Valeria stiffened once again. “Excuse me, but I do not think that is your concern.”
“It is presumptuous of me to inquire. After all, you’re an independent lady who’s been mistress of her own establishment for years, quite capable of deciding on your own whose company you will keep. However, I—”
“Please, Sir William, you may spare yourself warning me that Teagan Fitzwilliams is a rascal whose escort will lead to my utter ruin. My chaperone has already fully covered that topic. Therefore, you—”
Sir William began to chuckle. Thrown off stride, Valeria fell silent.
“Yes,” he said, controlling his mirth, “having witnessed Lady Farrington’s reaction last night, I’m sure she has harangued you—at much greater length than you wished to hear! Actually, my intention was quite the opposite. If you are in fact determined to go through with your plan, I wanted to reassure you that I do not believe Teagan Fitzwilliams will cause you any harm.”
This was so completely opposite what she’d expected to hear from him that Valeria was left momentarily speechless.
“It’s good of you to reassure me,” she managed.
“My younger brother was at Eton with him and quite admired him, actually. He kept the lads amused, winning their pennies with his card tricks and sleights of hand. Which I suppose was fortunate, since Rob says his family frequently neglected to bring him home during term breaks, so he must have needed those funds.” Sir William sighed. “However, to be honest, I have to admit I cannot be happy about your spending time with him. His rogue’s reputation among the ladies is well earned.”
“I see. And naturally he is the only single gentleman among the ton who has ever dallied with a willing matron.”
Sir William flushed at her blunt words. “He is not, of course, and you are correct in inferring that he has perhaps been unfairly maligned for behavior forgiven in others. That was not precisely what I meant.”
Sir William paused and put his hand over the gloved one she had rested on his arm. “Y-you cannot be insensible of my regard for you.”
Valeria was glad he’d given her an opening to speak frankly. “Sir William, I know Grandmamma must have spoken to you on my behalf, and I wish to assure you in the strongest terms that despite your fondness for Lady Winterdale, you must not feel compelled to—”
“No, it’s not like that. Well, I admit, at first I called on you mainly because of my sympathy for the…circumstances she’d described.”
Mortifying fear shot through Valeria. “Indeed? And just what did she tell you that inspired such compassion?”
“You will say she should not have spoken to me of your deepest feelings, and perhaps you are correct. But she knew I, of all men, would understand. I, too, lost a spouse whom I loved almost beyond reason, and…” He stopped and swallowed hard. “I…I know how difficult it is to go on. Lady Winterdale was concerned for your future, and I knew it was time that I, too, move on with my life. She hoped perhaps we might…help each other.”
Remorse filled Valeria. Until this moment she had thought of Sir William only in terms of being Lady Winterdale’s willing pawn, considering neither that gentleman’s reasons for calling on her—nor his feelings. “I am sorry for your loss,” she said, patting his hand.
He captured her fingers and held them. “Thank you. Although initially I called at Lady Winterdale’s behest, I now enjoy your company for its own merits. Indeed, I had hoped we might soon reach an…understanding. Which is why I cannot help being dismayed by your introduction to Mr. Fitzwilliams. After all, he’s not called ‘Fascinating Fitz’ for naught. Ladies seem to find the handsome rogue nearly irresistible.” He smiled wryly. “In comparison, I’m a rather dull dog.”
His modesty touched her. “I think you’re a very fine gentleman.”
He laughed with self-deprecating humor. “‘Fine,’ I believe, is an adjective a lady uses when she can’t think of something more dashing. Dull or not, I’m hoping there will still be a chance for me…for us—” He broke off, flushing. “Forgive me. I’m putting this badly.”
Valeria looked at his averted face. No, he hadn’t the mesmerizing handsomeness of Teagan Fitzwilliams. But there was strength in those broad shoulders, kindness and a deep sense of honor in his character that led him to commend even a gentleman he obviously saw as a rival. And courage to speak of his feelings when she had given him no real reason to believe they would not be summarily rejected. A most admirable gentleman, in sum.
Sir William’s a fine man. The countess’s words echoed in her head. Don’t throw a chance to fix his interest….
“Let me return the courtesy of speaking frankly, Sir William. I’m not sure I am ready to remarry. But should I become so, I recognize that Teagan Fitzwilliams is not a likely candidate for husband. I admire you all the more for your honesty today, I value our friendship…and certainly do not dismiss the possibility that it could become more.”
Sir William kissed her hand. “That, dear lady, is all I ask. Except perhaps that you will also allow me a chance to squire you about the city. Unfortunately, I must leave this afternoon to resolve a pressing problem at my estate.” He sighed. “I cannot regret enough the necessity to depart at this particular moment! But when I return, if you will permit me, I promise to escort you wherever you wish—no matter how ‘unusual’ the place.”
Consider carefully…and try not to be a fool, the countess had counseled. “I should like that.”
Sir William smiled, the pleasure lighting his eyes more fervent than Valeria would have wished. “Excellent. I’m afraid I must depart now to prepare for my journey. Shall I bring you back to the house?”
“Thank you, no. I’d prefer to remain a bit longer in the garden.”
Sir William glanced quickly aroun
d, then leaned toward her. At about the instant Valeria realized he meant to kiss her, he halted. Cheeks flushing slightly, he raised her hand and brushed his lips over her knuckles instead.
“I shall leave you now. Your most obedient servant, Lady Arnold.”
Valeria bid him goodbye, not sure whether she was relieved or disappointed he’d changed his mind.
And knowing she was even more foolhardy to wonder how his kiss might have compared to the expert caresses of Teagan Fitzwilliams.
Chapter Nine
T wo weeks later, Valeria went in to breakfast with Lady Winterdale. Having never fully recovered from the spell of weakness that had sent her to her bed, the countess tired after walking more than a few steps. Since she absolutely refused to be carried up and down the stairs, she now received her friends and took her meals in the sitting room adjacent to her chamber.
Watching with a worried eye as the countess picked at her toast, Valeria filled her plate from the assortment of dishes Cook had sent up to tempt her mistress’s flagging appetite. It pained her to see Grandmamma growing steadily weaker, but having received one of the worst scolds of her life yesterday for attempting to cajole Lady Winterdale into eating, Valeria knew it was useless to speak about it.
Nor could she help feeling a ready sympathy. Choosing—or not choosing—to eat was one of the few things over which the once indomitable countess still had control.
“Abandoning me again this morning, eh, missy?” Lady Winterdale said over her teacup. “Always gallivanting about, with never a minute to spare for an old lady.”
“Pooh, Grandmamma, that horse won’t run. You know very well if I did stay, you’d dispatch me on an errand as soon as your friends arrived for a good gossip.”
“Wouldn’t bother me to have you lurking about.”
“No, but you know it inhibits the others. They have too much delicacy to shred the character of their adversaries and meddle in the lives of all their relations with a witness present.”
The countess chuckled. “Impertinent chit! You’ve been out five mornings already with that Fitzwilliams rogue. Can’t image what else of interest you’d have left to see in London. Alicia told me that there’s been no gossip about your excursions, so you’re still receiving invitations aplenty.”
Valeria smiled ruefully. “No gossip yet, although I expect there will be sooner or later. I suppose thus far either no one in the ton has been up early enough to see us, or none venture into such unfashionable locales.”
“Alicia’s gone to some trouble to introduce you. I don’t want you neglecting your social duties with her.”
“I won’t, Grandmamma. We are to go to King’s Theatre tonight with Sir William, who’s just arrived back in town.”
“And none too soon,” Lady Winterdale muttered. “Well, and what do you think Sir William will say to all this racketing about you’ve been doing in his absence?”
Valeria didn’t pretend to misunderstand. “Actually, he stopped by before he left London to reassure me that Mr. Fitzwilliams would make a very safe escort.”
The countess raised an eyebrow. “Did he? The boy’s downier than I gave him credit for. Where do you go today?”
“Spring Gardens. Knowing my interest in foreign travel, Mr. Fitzwilliams recommended Mr. Wigley’s Royal Promenade Rooms, which house a splendid panorama of St. Petersburg and thirty other cities. And there’s also Monsieur Maillardet’s exhibition of moving mechanical figures, which include a lady playing the harp and a bird that moves and sings. I can’t imagine how they work, but perhaps Mr. Fitzwilliams can explain them.”
“What would a rake know about mechanics?”
“He’s amazingly knowledgeable, Grandmamma. When we went to see the marble statues Lord Elgin brought back from the Parthenon, Mr. Fitzwilliams related the myths of all the gods portrayed, along with a general history of the entire Peloponnesian Wars.”
The countess snorted. “Sounds dry as dust.”
“On the contrary, I found it fascinating!”
Lady Winterdale groaned and raised her eyes to the ceiling, as if imploring the deity. “First she insists on seeing a certified rogue, now she’s talking like a demned bluestocking!” The countess looked over to shake a finger at Valeria. “Child, you are past praying for.”
Valeria gave her an apologetic smile. “I’m afraid I shall never be fashionable.”
“You’ll return after viewing these mechanical toys?”
“N-not today.” Feeling a bit guilty, Valeria explained, “You see, the weather has been inclement for the last week, but today promises to be fair and warm. I’ve decided to take a water taxi to the Tower—”
“Where the erudite Mr. Fitzwilliams will no doubt regale you with the entire history of the kings and queens of England.”
“—and if the weather holds, go on after nuncheon to view the West India docks. A locale, I know, that is even more unfashionable, but which I am most anxious to see!”
Valeria knew her eyes must be shining with an excitement she had difficulty subduing, even in her Grandmamma’s presence. She looked forward this morning to not just a few hours, but an entire day of unsullied pleasure in the company of the most interesting, congenial companion she’d known since she lost her brother.
Like Elliot, Mr. Fitzwilliams seemed to take an avid interest in almost everything, and like Elliot, he never seemed to mind the questions she peppered him with. They’d had the most stimulating discussions about English law while visiting the Inns of Court, about the intricacies of investment and finance during their tour through the City.
She’d been surprised by the keenness of his mind and his obvious breadth of knowledge. And he’d adopted toward her an easy, avuncular manner that reminded her so much of her brother that within an hour of their first excursion she felt they were the best of friends.
Except for the acute awareness that simmered always just below consciousness. And occasionally bubbled to the surface in pulse-quickening moments, like when he took her arm to help her in or out of the carriage. Or once, when she slipped on a rain-slick cobblestone coming out of the shed in which Lord Elgin lodged his marbles, and Teagan caught her shoulders to keep her from falling.
Each time, they’d stood immobile, gazes locked, held as if by some inescapable force. Each time Valeria had felt a powerful urge to lift her lips to his, so tantalizingly close, to tangle her fingers in the thick golden silk of his hair.
Each time he had moved away first.
She would have thought such episodes would have spoiled their camaraderie, made her feel shy and awkward. Instead, they seemed to enhance and deepen the bond between them. When near him, Valeria felt a shivery expectation, such as long ago in India when Papa’s relations had sent her a package not to be unwrapped until the holidays. Each day of waiting, speculating over the delights soon to be revealed, had enhanced the anticipation.
Though, as he’d promised, Mr. Fitzwilliams had never gone beyond the line of friendship. True, at every outing he made some teasing comment about her lips or eyes, his tone more than the words themselves conveying that he’d not forgotten the long-ago interlude in her hayloft. Twice he had followed the remark with the suggestion that she abandon convention and come back with him to his rooms.
But the offer was always delivered in such an outrageously flirtatious manner that Valeria could never be sure just how serious he was. Fortunately for the sake of her reputation, he had never persisted in trying to persuade her to cross the bounds she had set. But still…
She came back to herself with a start, to find Lady Winterdale’s eyes fixed on her. Realizing she must have been gazing into the distance, a dreamy expression on her face, Valeria felt her cheeks heat.
“Excuse me, ma’am! I’ve been woolgathering.”
“Child, I’m afraid for you,” the countess said.
Valeria knew the old woman was concerned with much more than her lack of fashionable aspirations.
She took Lady Winterdale’s hand and
squeezed it. “I’m being careful, Grandmamma. I promise.”
Lady Winterdale shook her head and sighed. “Ah, but can you be careful enough?”
A knock at the door, followed by Molly’s entrance, saved her from the necessity of a reply. “Mr. Fitzwilliams is here for us, my lady.”
“Thank you, Molly. Fetch the picnic basket Cook made up, and tell Mr. Fitzwilliams I’ll be down in a moment.”
Avoiding her grandmamma’s gaze, Valeria leaned to kiss the old woman goodbye. “I’ll stop by later and tell you all about my adventures.”
Lady Winterdale nodded. “See that you do.”
Valeria exited the room, hard-pressed to keep herself from skipping. She knew she was smiling, but such a joyous expectancy filled her, she felt like gathering the whole world in an exuberant embrace. The sense of setting out on a grand adventure buoyed her, as it had when she’d stepped onboard the vessel that had carried her family to India.
She knew Lady Winterdale worried about her barely concealable enthusiasm for her excursions with Teagan Fitzwilliams. Mercy, too, was suspicious enough that she’d nearly insisted, despite her bad ankle, on replacing Molly as Valeria’s chaperone on the last two outings. Not wishing her nurse’s glowering presence to dampen the delight of her limited time with Teagan, Valeria had with difficulty persuaded her to remain at home, though not before Mercy delivered a sharp warning against becoming too fond of so handsome and ineligible a gentleman.
In the back of her mind, Valeria knew her rapidly growing attachment to his company ought to worry her, too. Each day they explored, the list of sites still to visit dwindled, and soon their pretext for being together would vanish.
What she would do then, she had no idea. But with the conviction of one who had spent more than enough of her life in loneliness and grief, Valeria resolved for the present to put aside doubt, fear, or caution. She would focus instead on enjoying to the fullest the about-to-be-unwrapped gift of today.
Having dispatched Molly, as well as James, the footman Lady Farrington had insisted on adding to Valeria’s party, to buy meat pies from a nearby vendor, Mr. Fitzwilliams spread their picnic cloth on Tower green.
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