I turned my back to him and quickly stripped. Even knowing he was watching me and knowing it was unnecessary. I couldn't face him and I couldn't turn around till I knew he was covered, too.
“Are you decent?”
He laughed. “Yeah, I'm covered. You can turn around. I certainly didn't peg you for being modest. It doesn't exactly come with the territory.”
I rolled my eyes. “Some things are best left to mystery,” I blurted out, thankful that Nelson had knocked, and then peeked in to check on us.
“Okay, you lovebirds, onto the tables. I'll grab Urma and we can begin.”
Before he closed the door back, I was already on the table getting into position. Nelson was bald and a little pudgy, and very likely gay. Patrick seemed more amused by him than intimidated. I put my face down into the hole on the table and tried to relax, even though every nerve in my body was hyper aware of my mate on the next table over. While I had told him we would not be within arm’s reach, the tables in the room were aligned so we absolutely could reach out and touch at any time. He proved that point as I lay there trying to ignore him and find some semblance of relaxation in a room that felt like it was suffocating me.
His hand gently glided up my side and across my shoulders.
“If you wanted a massage that badly, I'd have been happy to accommodate you last night.”
I chanced a look up and regretted it immediately. The smoldering look he gave me made me break out into a sweat all over. He was sitting on the other table with his feet dangling over the edge leaning over towards me. He was bare except for a towel wrapped low around his waist, so low I could see a cut V heading down into areas I couldn't afford to think about. A sly smile played across his face like he knew exactly how affected I was by him and I was thankful when the door opened and Nelson and Urma returned—only this time it wasn't Urma.
“Hi, I'm Kaitlyn. Urma had an emergency she needed to tend to, so I'm going to step in for her,” said a bubbly blonde, who couldn't be more than twenty years old.
“Hi Kaitlyn, it's nice to meet you,” Patrick said, offering her his hand, which she readily accepted. “I'm Patrick and this is Elise.”
He smiled at her and I bit back a growl threatening to erupt from me.
“Lie down and we'll get started,” Nelson told us. Of course, he was really talking to Patrick since I was already lying down and gritting my teeth the entire time. Nelson moved to remove my towel and for a moment I almost stopped him, but I didn't. I couldn't help but sneak a peek Patrick's way.
Big mistake! The bubbly blonde had already removed his towel too and was busy running her hands all over my mate's back. Wolves are notorious for being territorial, but I didn't have the right to be territorial over him. Why didn't that message reach my heart?
I could feel Nelson's hands working my taunt muscles. He even commented a time or two about how tense I was. Normally I would be lying face down and enjoying this, but all I could do was stress over the fact that Kaitlyn's hands were on Patrick's body, and there was absolutely no chance of relaxing. It didn't help that the girl prattled on incessantly the entire time.
Patrick turned his head, likely sensing I was watching him. Our eyes connected and suddenly the annoying voice prattling on and on slowly disappeared.
“There you go, you're finally starting to relax,” Nelson commented.
I knew it was no thanks to him. It was all Patrick. When he reached his hand out towards me, I met him halfway before my head even registered I was doing it. That simple touch was all it took for my muscles to loosen and my body began to melt. We just lay like that, staring into each other's eyes and holding hands across the empty space. Much too soon the moment was over, and so was the massage.
I heard Nelson talking, but my brain was too foggy to comprehend. “Sorry, what did you say?”
He gave me a knowing smile. Knowing what, I hadn't a clue. “I was just saying that Kaitlyn and I will be leaving you now, but you have another hour blocked in here for the private spa.”
“Private spa? I don't remember that being part of the package.”
“Oh, sweetie, that comes with all the couples’ packages. And right now, the schedule’s clear, so really take all the time you want.” He winked and waved a quick goodbye on exit.
“That wasn't so bad. I even managed not to growl at him. Of course, you do realize he was more into me than you,” Patrick said, laughing.
I rolled my eyes and laughed too. “Yeah, I'm pretty sure they both were.”
“I thought I heard a muffled growl coming from your way. Didn't appreciate that pretty little blonde having her hands over me, now did ya?”
I sat up, quickly covering myself, and sulked over to the already bubbling hot tub. Dropping the towel at the last minute I sank into it and tried not to let him get to me. Still pouting, I finally exploded in curiosity.
“You really thought she was pretty?”
Looking over to where I had left him, my brain went into a complete fog. Walking towards me was a very fine, very naked Patrick O'Connell. He seemed oblivious to my mushed up brain that could no longer string together two words, let alone a coherent thought. He stepped up and into the hot tub while I just sat there and stared. I had never seen such a perfect specimen. There wasn't a single thing about his body that I would change if given the chance. He was quite literally perfection.
The fog didn't begin to lift until I felt his body sliding alongside mine as he chose the seat closest to me for his own. It was only replaced by sheer desire. It suddenly felt like I was sitting inside a furnace. I was so overwhelmed by it that it scared me. As if that wasn't bad enough, after he was settled in, he turned to me and raised his hand, gently caressing my cheek.
“You have nothing to worry about, love. No other woman's beauty comes even close to yours.”
Patrick
Chapter 10
As far as I was concerned, things were going great. Elise had been jealous of another female near me. She had accepted the offer of my hand to calm her. She had clearly been affected by my nakedness. Her pupils had dilated and her heart had sped up—hey, there were benefits to having heightened wolf hearing. And when my body touched hers and I caressed her cheek, she leaned in to me.
So, when she did a complete one-eighty on me, I found myself staring at her from across the hot tub, and began to wonder if she was bipolar.
“Boundaries,” she said. “We need to establish some boundaries. You can't do stuff like that. It just makes everything . . . harder,” she sighed.
“Harder for whom? Because it seems that not touching you is quite difficult for me.”
“Patrick?” She looked so sad it broke my heart. “I just can't. I can't afford to bond with you. I need you to understand. Nothing can ever happen between us. It just can't”
She got out and I was so devastated by her rejection that I couldn't even appreciate her perfectly naked body. She dressed and left me sitting there to digest her words.
Eventually I got out, dressed, and made my way to the lounge. I ordered a stiff drink at the bar and pulled out my phone.
“Hello?” Kyle promptly answered his phone.
“Hey man, just checking in.”
“Patrick. Thank God! Heard there was a massive storm to the north and realized I had no idea where you two were headed. Everything okay?” he asked hesitantly.
“Sure, yeah. We're at a resort about four hours north. The storm started brewing just as we arrived last night.”
“How's my sister?”
“Stubborn. Pigheaded. Exasperating.”
He laughed on the other end and I could hear his mate starting to ask questions.
“Hold on,” I heard him say in a muffled voice. “Sorry, Patrick. Kels is dying to hear every detail. Putting you on speaker, if that's okay.”
“Sure, yeah. It's fine. Not exactly anything to tell.”
“What?” Kelsey screeched. “Is she not your one true mate?”
“Oh no, she defini
tely is. No doubt on that.”
“Dude. I put you two together. Four hours alone in the car, plus staying at the same resort with your one true mate, and you couldn't close the deal?”
“First, I wouldn't just do that. As long as I'm living in your territory I'll get proper approval if and when that time comes.”
“No need,” Kelsey informed me.
“Yeah, she's right. Our pack doesn't require it for true mates.”
“Trust me. We already broke down that protocol.” She giggled.
“Good to know, but doesn't really matter right now anyway. Elise has made it painfully clear she has no plans to take a mate.”
“I heard true mates can start off rocky. Just give it time.”
“No man, you don't understand. Elise has no plans to take a mate, ever.”
“What?” Kyle asked.
“No, that makes sense,” Kelsey added. “Think about it. This is Elise we're talking about. She was every bit as neurotic during our mating challenge period as I was. You don't think it's you specifically, do you, Patrick?”
“No, actually, the rare times she lets her guard down, everything seems perfect. Then she freezes me out and sets up boundaries and it fecking sucks.”
“I know that feeling all too well. Try dealing with that shit for two years.”
I heard some commotion followed by, “Ow!”
“Don't listen to him, this is not the same. I'm telling you, she's terrified. Not of you. It's probably killing her denying you. She's terrified of the challenge period.”
“Why? That's a normal part of mating.”
“Men can be such idiots sometimes. Patrick, Kyle and I had only one month of challenges and they were brutal and started a war. You already know there were extenuating circumstances to it, but E had an up close and personal seat for it all. It sucked badly, and she's my best friend and Kyle's sister, so it was just as difficult on her as it was on us. I don't really blame her after witnessing all that, but she has to know it was absolutely worth it.”
“Kyle's a Pack Alpha, so of course the challenges were much worse than usual. Do you think she doesn't realize it wouldn't be the same for us?”
“Actually, E's second oldest and her mate will become next in line for Pack Alpha unless or until we have a son.”
“Jesus Christ. No wonder she's freaking out, especially with a war on your hands and so much unease between the packs. Bloody hell. If my father gets wind of any of this he'll have a price on both your heads to secure an Irish Pack leader of Westin. No one would even have to fight for it.”
“Uh, you aren't getting any crazy ideas are you?”
I could hear the humor in his voice and laughed. “No way do I want that job.”
We hung up shortly after and I had a ton on my mind to consider. Giving me time to think and Elise the space she requested, I ordered food and ate lunch at the bar before taking some time to explore the rest of the property. Finding the gym proved to be the best part of my day—well, the best since Elise's rejection, that is.
I wasn't sure how long I was working out, but when my stomach started growling again and a peek outside showed me it was dark already, so I thought it best to head upstairs. I only hoped Elise had calmed down some by then.
The second the elevator doors opened into our junior suite, I knew something was very wrong. The most awful feeling washed over me. My mate was upset or hurt. Panic flooded me as I ran to the living room. No Elise. Without stopping, I barged into the bedroom.
Elise startled and stared at me with watery eyes.
“Are you hurt?” I growled through clenched teeth, trying to get a grip on my emotions. I wasn't what one would call an emotional guy, so the feeling of completely overwhelming fear and an insatiable need to protect and claim my mate hitting me all at once, was too much.
“You're here,” she said, sounding surprised by the revelation.
“Of course I am, love.” Suddenly something worse than fear—rejection—started to creep in to my emotional pool. “Wait, when you were talking about the boundaries, did you mean I should get my own room?”
“What? No, of course not.”
I was a little taken aback by the bit of relief that caused. I couldn't believe how quickly I was turning into a fecking dog just waiting to wag my tail at the slightest bit of attention, encouragement, or praise from her. Pathetic.
“It's just, well, you didn't come back. And I didn't know where you were. I thought maybe you were mad enough to leave.”
She sounded so sad and tears were streaming down her face. It broke my heart. I was torn on what to do. My instincts screamed to go to her and comfort her. Show her I was there and everything would be okay, but she'd been so insistent on keeping our boundaries and I wanted to respect her wishes. So I stood there at the door, fighting every instinct in my being. My wolf was furious and surging to take control.
“I'm not mad. I'm not. I'm just trying to understand. This is all new to me too and I really don't know what to do here, love.” My stomach growled, reminding me I hadn't eaten in quite a while. “I'm going to order room service. Can I get you anything?”
When she nodded and gave me her order, I couldn't help thinking of the damn dog image again. A giant puppy dog. That's what she'd turned me into. If I were in my fur, I knew my tail would be happily wagging of its own accord, simply for having the pleasure of tending to my mate's needs, even if she was adamant that she'd never actually be my mate. Still, I knew in my heart there'd never be another. Elise Westin was it for me and it bloody sucked.
While waiting for the food, I took a moment to shower and change, thankful to get out of the sweaty clothes from my workout. I tried to keep my mind clear. I couldn't keep dwelling on the ups and downs of life with Elise. I had to just believe she'd come around.
Dinner was quiet, but companionable. She didn't run off and hide. She stayed and ate her meal with me. When she finally retreated to the bedroom, the moment her last bite was gone, I tried not to take it personally. Laid out on the couch, alone in the dark, was the toughest part. It hurt so badly knowing my mate was in the next room and I couldn't even close the gap to touch her, and she was just as restless as I was. I could hear her tossing and turning.
“Patrick? Are you still awake?” I heard a small, unsure voice.
“I am. What do you need?” I said, wanting to run to her side, and although I had to battle my wolf to stay put, I did just that.
“I don't know. I can't sleep and I hate that I upset you today.”
“It's alright, love. I'm a big boy. While I'm not known for my patience, for you, I will try.”
She was silent for a while, but I could tell by her breathing she was still awake, just as I knew she knew I was still awake.
“Patrick?”
“Yes, love?”
“Can you sleep in here again tonight?”
I didn't wait to confirm her request. I was off that couch and pulling her into my arms faster than she could blink. She giggled nervously.
“I'm really not trying to send mixed signals, and this doesn't change anything. This isn't easy on me either. I hate hurting you. It hurts me too, but it's for the best. When the snow lifts and we leave here, I think we should try and keep our distance. It's just easier that way.”
I tried to man up and not let her words affect me. On the one hand she was calling to me and needing my touch as much I needed hers, but on the other, her words stung, slicing a deep hole in my heart.
“I haven't anywhere to go,” I whispered to her. The reality of my situation was terrifying. My father would not take me back into the clan, at least not yet. That much I was certain, but I couldn't ask Kyle to continue sanctuary within Westin Pack if Elise was never going to accept me.
“It's okay for now. I have friends in Alaska I've been wanting to visit. I'll go away for a while so you can figure out what you want to do.”
I breathed her scent in deeply and kissed the top of her head. It was the first time my lip
s had ever touched her and it helped calm the wolf inside that was desperately trying to get out and take control.
“I won't run you from your home, love. I'll figure something out. You don't need to worry about me.”
I didn't know what I was going to do and had never felt so low in all my life. The only thread of sanity I was holding on to was in the form of the woman condemning me to hell. She was keeping me grounded and able to breathe, but only for the moment. It was an odd reality to be in. I knew she was terrified and I knew she wasn't going to open up to me any further. I just had to figure out how to fix it all.
Whether she realized it or not, we were meant to be together. Holding tightly to one another, we both drifted soundly to sleep, but when I awoke the next morning, she was gone.
Elise
Chapter 11
Sleeping with Patrick again had been stupid of me, because waking up in his arms had been wonderful and hopeful, and I couldn't take it anymore. His pain had been so evident, and the guilt that struck me knowing I was the cause of it all, was too much to bear. He was going to leave me. Because you basically told him to, idiot! I said to myself.
I didn't know what I was doing anymore. I didn't know why I was doing it. Could the challenges really be much worse than the constant pain of rejecting him? Kelsey had rejected Kyle every day for two years and did it with such grace that no one even suspected she liked him, let alone felt the mating call towards him. Were my feelings just that much stronger? Or was I just that much weaker?
He was snoring softly and I took some time to look him over. Why did he have to be so handsome? Why did he have to be so sweet and considerate? Why couldn't he just get mad and yell at me? It would have made life so much easier . . . for me. I was quickly coming to understand that just wasn't Patrick's way, and I wasn't a fighter, so why would I think that God would pair me with one?
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