Owning Regina: Diary of my unxpected passion for another woman

by Lorelei Elstrom

  She continued the assault on my back until I was an absolute wreck, bawling like a baby as I fought against the handcuffs. I was outside of myself with pain and completely terrified that something had snapped in Regina and that she was going insane.

  In my whole life, I had never been so out of control with my emotions. It was difficult to breathe with the gag, leaving only my nostrils for all the air I needed. My wrists were getting scraped up from fighting against the handcuffs and she kept whipping me. I was literally flailing to and fro to try to escape each next blow.

  Transformed into a bundle of nerves, I was completely freaking out. But all of the sudden, I heard a sound I couldn’t believe! Regina spoke in her normal friendly voice, “That was some kind of crazy day I had.” The whipping stopped. “Hey, Baby,” she reassured me, “It’s me. I’m here with you. You’re ok.” She quickly uncuffed me and led me to my bed. We laid down in a loose hug, looking at each other’s faces. A flood of emotion hit me and waves of weeping came through me. Regina somehow felt the same thing and began crying deeply, but quietly as if in solidarity.

  After what seemed like ten minutes of this deep weeping, we finally began coming back to earth. Regina licked my tears and kissed my eyes. We kissed and shared the intimacy of each other’s faces for the longest time.

  Out of nowhere, she changed gears with, “Can you believe how blue the sky is today?” I couldn’t believe I was hearing this and that we were back in the game already. Can’t a girl get a break for a damn minute? Slave Regina spoke in loving and nervous voice: “Mistress? Did I disappoint you by overstepping my bounds? I was really concerned about you, Mistress.” This was a comforting tone for me to hear at that moment. “No, Sweet slave,” I reassured her, “You did beautifully. Thank you for following my orders so obediently.” I kissed her on the lips and ended the game with, “You are perfect for me. But I need to go now. That was some kind of crazy day I had.” And we went back to ourselves.

  “Regina, my back is on fire. Do you think you can rub some lotion on it for me?” I asked. “Sure,” she said, “and you might need another scotch to take the edge off. Be right back.”

  She came back and pampered me. Seriously, I was in real pain. (Even now, my back feels like the worst sunburn imaginable). I was too agonized to make dinner for us so Regina stepped up to the plate, bringing me a tray in bed. After dinner, she spoonfed me ice cream. Later, she took my hand and gave it a massage. After a minute or two, she blew my mind by cavalierly saying, “Would you move in with Tucker and I?”

  Wow!! Talk about out of the blue! Here’s this woman I’d only known a month, a female love interest when I always thought I was straight! It’s only been a month! It all should seem like a big heavy decision. But for me, in that moment that followed such a heavy scene, the answer came quickly and without any concern or dread: “Yes, Regina. I want to. I want to spend the rest of my life with you!” Her eyes puddled up. “Really?” she asked, cutely crinkling her nose in genuine disbelief. I think she was expecting me to say no or get into a dramatic scene about it. She continued, “Tucker is crazy about you! We can have our own kind of family.” That sounded perfect to me.

  Who moves in after just a month of dating? But then again, people get married after a night in Las Vegas, so who the hell knows?

  Even the mention of living with Tucker didn’t throw me off. Sure, I would be sharing Regina with him, but being a part of a family is something that really appeals to me. When Tucker came to the office, I felt I would love to be more involved with him. He’s such a great kid. Though… that may change when he’s going through the emotional roller coaster of puberty. Just joking. I would really love to be around him in Regina’s world.

  Regina applied more lotion to my aching back and butt and we continued the conversation as follows:

  ME

  How do we know we are not just in the honeymoon phase of dating?

  REGINA

  My gut tells me this is it. I’ve never had such validation of my feelings for someone.

  ME

  Same here. What will you tell Tucker?

  REGINA

  I’ll tell him that I fell in love with you. He’s fully aware about same sex couples. This is San Francisco. Several of his friends at school have two dads or two moms.

  ME

  Don’t you think he’ll be jealous that I enter the picture to share part of his mom with him?

  REGINA

  I’ve seen the way he is around you. He’s really rooting for us as couple. I think he is craving it. I can tell he thinks you are a positive force.

  ME

  What about kink?

  REGINA

  What about it? If we were vanilla, we wouldn’t be having sex in front of him.

  ME

  You’re right.

  (a moment passed as we both contemplated moving in together. Then…)

  That lotion feels so good on my skin. Thanks for taking care of me.

  REGINA

  Of course.

  ME

  What was it like for you to dominate and hurt me?

  REGINA

  It was really hard. I could never do that in real life! When I was whipping your back, it felt like skydiving or walking on fire. I had major adrenaline driving me. I knew you needed something dark.

  ME

  I think I wanted to see if you would really hurt me. I needed to feel a scary bond with you.

  REGINA

  I loved seeing my Mistress weeping. It was beautiful. I loved seeing her terrified. It was a trust and intimacy that I have never experienced in my life. I love you so much.

  ME

  I want you to hurt me again sometime. I want Regina, not the slave, to hurt me… to make me beg for mercy.

  REGINA

  I don’t think I could do that. It would be too hard outside of the game. I wouldn’t want to mix real feelings into making you suffer. We need our rules.

  ME

  Ok. I guess your Mistress will have to force you to do it on occasion.

  REGINA

  She’d better watch out. No telling what she will unleash! Next time I see her, I want to sass off. Maybe she’ll have to teach me a harsh lesson.

  ME

  I bet she will.

  REGINA

  When do you want to move in?

  ME

  I can’t believe this is happening! What about June 1st. I can sublet my place out.

  REGINA

  You don’t mind giving up your space? I do think it would be best for Tucker to keep the consistency at my house.

  ME

  I don’t mind. Where will he sleep, still with you?

  REGINA

  He’ll sleep in his own room. That change is long over due. He’s nine years old. We’ve only been doing it out of convenience and keeping each other company.

  ME

  Ok. He might like his own space now.

  (She nodded and we stared at each other, excited by the thought of our new future together.)

  Why don’t you go brush your teeth and wash your face. You are going to have to spend the entire night in bed hogtied by some belts.

  REGINA

  A requirement from my Mistress?

  ME

  No. Just from me. I want to make sure you don’t wander off.

  Regina looked and me with such passion in her eyes that the feelings sent us into a long French kiss.

  She’s tied up right now in a tight hogtie as I write this. I can hear her faint moans as she struggles against the leather belts that are holding her wrists and ankles together. Oh, and she has a ball gag in place just for good measure. Don’t sympathize with her; my back is still killing me.

  --- MONDAY APRIL 16 --- Sexy sleep

  Last night at 3am, I awoke to the sounds of Regina moaning softly and struggling against the ball gag. Something was wrong. I removed the gag to ask her about it. Her jaw was aching terribly due
to having been locked in an open position so long from the gag. I had thought that the ball was narrow enough that it wouldn’t be an issue. But she really seemed in a lot of pain. Once the gag was out, she stretched her jaw up and down several times and let out sighs of relief.

  She was still hogtied facedown with her arms behind her back secured to her crossed legs. I checked her feet and hands to see if they were cold. If so, that would mean she was not getting enough circulation. But her hands and feet felt perfectly warm… which meant, she was going to have to continue sleeping in bondage. We kissed for a moment. She thanked me for removing the gag. Then I caressed her ass a long time with soft, steady strokes until she fell asleep about 15 minutes later.

  We both slept until the alarm went off. It was a school day. We were both really happy and cuddly. She snuggled me with her head and I softly massaged her all over. After a while, I slipped my hand between her tied up legs and gently played with her clitoris, occasionally dipping into the well of lubricant she was creating by being turned on.

  What started out as simple a connection of touching had soon become an erotic undertaking. Watching her getting aroused was getting me aroused too. I ended up playing with myself with one hand while playing with her with the other. We were completely in sync in our arousal, kissing in between breathing and feeling immense closeness. Then at the same time, we both escaped into orgasm together, flowing in waves, as opposed to the explosive releases of other times. Our final releases were mellow, but profound and bled off to a form of complete relaxation.

  Longing for the closeness of her embrace, I untied Regina, tossing the belts on the floor. She rolled over on her back and her arms came around me as if starving for touch. As I lied on top of her, we hugged and kissed in silence for minutes upon minutes. Her nighttime ordeal was over and we were finally able to press against each other without restraint. She started giggling at the mere idea of being free, talking about how that position was really miserable for so long. I was giggling too. There was a giddy air between us as we both joked about how bad she was going to feel during the day from having such a rough night of sleep.

  She hopped in the shower and I used the opportunity to make us both a strong cup of joe. When I returned, she was still in the shower, looking as radiant as ever with her wet hair and soapy body. I took the liberty of slipping into the shower with her. After a quick, soapy kiss, I slid down to my knees so my head was at her waist level. I gently hugged her thighs and rested my head on her tummy. She looked down at me lovingly and stroked my head as the warm water streamed all over us. There was something in her look, in her face, that told me we were complete together. There was an energy from her that let me know we had found each other forever. She continued to stroke my head as I softly hugged her thighs and saw all the potential I had ever craved in a love.

  --- WEDNESDAY APRIL 18 --- The mundane week

  So far the week had been pretty typical. I went out to lunch with Pete for some girl talk. He was so happy that I had found Regina.

  She and I haven’t seen each other since Monday morning. She’s been super busy catching up on her daily life… and soap opera she records. I still think that is so funny! Of all people, she is the last person I would think would be hooked on a soap! I’ve been busy in my job too. We picked up a new client, a national insurance carrier at the same time as preparing for a commercial shoot in Golden Gate Park for a Toyota.

  Oh, to celebrate Tucker’s move to his own bed on Monday night, Regina and I decided to sleep on the phone together. It was sweet. We literally had the phones by our pillows on speakerphone. It was like she was right next to me. We talked about what it would be like living together and tried to work out the mechanics of it all. Would we merge our finances? Would we merge our laundry? Who would control the Pandora? What kind of personal space would each of us have? Who cooks and who cleans up? They were all real things that needed to be considered. It also made everything seem more real and solid to be thinking about the mundane details of living together.

  Eventually, we fell asleep on the phone together. In the morning I was awakened by the alarm going off on her side. We said a quick goodbye and that was it. When people sign up for the unlimited minutes calling plan, I doubt the phone company considered someone will keep the connection opened all night during sleep!

  Regina texted me that she had picked up Tucker after school. She said she was going to talk with him about me moving in. Gulp. That’s scary. It seems unfair to burden and impose the parents’ romantic interests onto kids. I would normally think it is a terrible idea to have a love interest move in so quickly. But in our case, we both sincerely feel that this is it. Tucker will have the benefit of being adored by both of us. I will always make sure they will have lots of their very own personal time together. I feel that Tucker will really thrive being around the energy that Regina and I create together. In fact, we all will. Each leg of the triangle will balance the other. Still, I bet it will be quite a transition to Tucker that such a big change is coming to his life. It will be big for all of us.

  --- THURSDAY APRIL 19 --- Changing bedrooms

  Regina talked to Tucker last night. She filled me in on the details today on her break at school. She said Tucker seemed thrilled that I would be moving in. She thinks Tucker is very in tune with everything and had expected this might happen. I agree. Even though things happened very quickly, it seemed like he was acutely aware of how fast things were moving and how much Regina and I are crazy for each other.

  Tucker asked where I was going to sleep. She broke the news to him that she and I would be sleeping together. He said he was fine with that, but added that he would still like to sleep with Regina sometimes. That sounds good to me. It’s nice that they have that closeness. Childhood is so short that I don’t fault them for wanting to stretch it out as long as they can. In just a few short years, he will probably be hanging out with his buddies and embarrassed to have mom around too much. Kids!

  Regina and I decided I should hang on to my place for three months as we test the waters of living together. It could either be a lifeboat or a private sex den. Seriously, we both doubted it would have to be a lifeboat out of a bad relationship. We know in our hearts we are made for each other. It’s really exciting to think about sharing a life with her and Tucker.

  Since the upcoming weekend was a Tucker weekend, I offered a suggestion for a really fun weekend. There is a new laser tag facility opening in Santa Rosa and I thought we could try it out and stay the night on the north coast. Tucker could bring his crazy buddy Jason and they could run around in the waves together, then try out the new laser tag place. Regina was all over the idea. I booked Saturday night at the Whale Watch Inn on the Sonoma coast. I’d been there before and it has a private beach cove that feels like a remote beach in a romantic movie. Sometimes you can see whales cruising by!

  --- FRIDAY APRIL 20 --- Feeling on track

  Not much to report, other than I feel really happy about life. I feel even more positive that moving in with Regina is the right thing to do. She told me she feels the same way.

  Today I masturbated to the thought of when Regina was whipping my back. It was really terrifying to see her so engaged in the character that she was not going to let up until her task was complete.

  I asked Regina what she thought about dominating me. But she said she never has. She was only whipping me in obeying orders from her Mistress. She said she wouldn’t have initiated that on her own. When I asked her if she has a dominant side, she pleaded for me to understand that she only wants to be owned by me. She wants to be my slave. She wants to serve me and be abused by me.

  --- SUNDAY APRIL 22 --- Bonding with friends

  Yesterday morning I picked up Regina, Tucker, and his friend Jason for the drive up the coast. We busted a move straight up to the North Bay. I thought it would be fun to stop by Bodega Bay so the boys could run around on the giant cliffs of the Bodega Head overlooking the rocky coast. We sp
ent about two hours there and everyone had a blast. The boys had plenty of energy to burn after having been trapped in the car so long.

  While the boys were climbing a giant tree, Regina and I sat on the cliff looking for whales. Wouldn’t you know, we weren’t sitting there 5 minutes when we saw 3 whales just a couple hundred feet away. They were spouting and breaching. Awesome.

  Making sure the boys were out of site, we kissed a bit. It was our first intimate contact since Monday morning. Regina has a kiss that touches me to the core. The sun was on us. There were whales. A giant fog bank that looked like a solid wall was approaching from the ocean. The kids were in bliss. Seagulls were everywhere. The universe was telling us we are on track to a celebrating great life together.

  After Bodega Head, we stopped for lunch and then went up to the coast to the Whale Watch Inn. The boys were so excited at the sight of the pristine cove below the balcony. It turns out our room was the same one Lucile Ball stayed in the 1980’s.

  We all got ready for the beach as quickly as possible. But Jason (Mr. Hyper) flew down the rickety cliff-dangling stairs and was in the water unsupervised before we had even gotten to the sand ourselves! Crazy monkey.

  The sun was still blasting down, but just off shore was that same heavy fog bank. It was 72 degrees, so the kids were fine playing in the water (54 degrees). But when that fog would roll in, there were going to be some freezing boys. Tucker and Jason had a skimboard and must have played with that for an hour and half while Regina and I walked along the cove checking out the sea life and tide pools.

  It seemed natural to be holding hands with Regina, but for some reason, we refrained from that. It felt like maybe it would have been too gay for a family outing. I know that sounds stupid, but there was something holding us back from being our regular selves. It may have been easier if we had already been living together and Jason and his parents were already aware that two girlfriends live together with Tucker. It’s stupid how stigmatized that still is in society. The sad fact is, there’s shame around the subject.