Under the Mulberry Tree
WRITTEN BY
Samantha Jillian Bayarr
Copyright © 2012 by Samantha Jillian Bayarr
Cover/internal design by Livingston Hall Publishers
Cover photo © 1976 by Kevin Fleming
http://www.kevinfleming.com/fine-art-prints/
Artwork was altered from its original state with permission from the photographer. Visit the link above to view this photo in its original format.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be reproduced in any form either written or electronically without the express permission of the author or publisher.
This novel is a work of fiction. Names, characters, and incidents are the product of the author’s imagination, and are therefore used fictitiously. Any similarity or resemblance to actual persons; living or dead, places or events is purely coincidental and beyond the intent of the author or publisher.
All brand names or product names mentioned in this book are trademarks, registered trademarks, or trade names, and are the sole ownership of their respective holders. Livingston Hall Publishers is not associated with any products or brands named in this book
Samantha Jillian Bayarr
Book THREE of Jacob’s Daughter series
**********************
CHAPTER 1
**********************
“What do you mean he’s not my real father?”
Abby was shaking, while aiming imaginary daggers at her mamm.
Lizzie reached out to her dochder, but when Abby flinched away, she slowly retracted her hand.
Abby stood up from the porch swing abruptly and stood near the railing. A slight wind blew stray hairs from beneath her prayer kapp, which she angrily pushed behind her ear. The warm October sun shone brightly on her cheeks, heating her almost to agitation, but she wouldn’t turn to face her mamm.
Abby picked at splattered vegetables on her apron, silence weighing heavily between her and her mamm. If only she hadn’t confided in her mamm about the teasing from her peers about Jonah Beiler, whom she just realized was not really her cousin.
They’d spent most of the day at a canning bee, and the menner had been there to help bring in the bushels of fruits and vegetables for canning. At the noon meal, she’d sat with the youth until her cousin, Jonah, decided to tell the others about their beautiful, forbidden kiss under the mulberry tree in the school yard. No one had seen them do it, and they’d made a pact that it would never happen again. But there he sat, betraying her confidence.
Before she realized, everyone was calling them kissing cousins. Abby couldn’t take it anymore and left the Miller’s haus. When her mamm caught up to her later at home, Abby had no choice but to tell her about what happened, but denied the kiss ever happened. If only it had been that easy for her or her mamm to tell the truth. Then none of this would have mattered. Her love for Jonah would not have felt like a sin, and her peers would never have teased her since she and Jonah were not blood-related after all.
Abby swung around angrily. “How could you have lied to me my entire life? I’m almost twenty years old; you could have told me a long time ago and spared me and everyone else a lot of trouble. Does Daed…I mean, Jacob, know about this, or did you lie to him too?”
Lizzie sighed. “Yes, he knows, Abby, but you have to understand why I lied.”
“There is never any reason to tell a lie this big! Who is it Mother? Who is my real father? And why have you kept him from me all these years?”
Lizzie tried to remain calm. “Do you remember why we moved here?”
Abby rolled her eyes. “Of course I do. Because that guy Eddie was after us…oh heavens no…please tell me my real father is not Eddie the drug addict!”
Lizzie’s face drained of all color except for the blazing red of her cheeks. “I’m sorry, Abby, but it’s true.”
Abby couldn’t breathe. Her whole life had been a lie. She was the child of a drug addict—a man who was dead. Tears pooled in her eyes as she stared down the long drive that led to the main road. The wind blew orange and red leaves across the lawn. Even they had purpose. As for her, she no longer had a father.
Abby brushed past her mamm and into the haus. She took the stairs two at a time until she reached the top.
In her room, she pushed on her heavy bureau, determined to block the door that had no lock. The feet of the large piece of furniture dug into the hardwood floor, but she finally wedged it in front of the door. Then she threw herself onto her bed, and began to sob into the quilt she and her mamm had made together.
A light knock sounded at the door.
Abby turned slightly. “Go away mother. I’ll never believe another word that comes from your mouth!”
Abby quieted her sobbing long enough to listen to the fading footfalls of her mamm, letting her know that she’d given up the fight.
She slid down from the bed onto the floor, where she retrieved the small suitcase from under her bed that she’d brought with her when she and her mamm had come to the community. Tossing it up on the bed, she filled it with her few belongings, including the two thousand dollars she’d saved from working for her aenti Lillian at the bakery. Picking up the packed suitcase, Abby crossed the room and pushed open her window and tossed the suitcase out the window, watching mindlessly as it hit the front lawn below.
Pushing the bureau back in the corner of her room, she ran down the stairs and out the front door, her mamm fast on her heels.
“Abby, kume sit back and down and talk to me.”
Abby turned; her face flush. “I don’t want to hear another word that comes from your mouth ever again. I’m leaving here and never coming back. There is nothing for me here but a life full of lies.”
Her last words to her mamm had stung them both that day, and Abby had not been able to remove them, or the look on her mamm’s face from her memory since the day she spoke them five long years before.
**********************
CHAPTER 2
**********************
FIVE YEARS LATER…
Stepping off the bus, Abby wondered if she’d really gotten all the rebellion out of her system after spending the last five years among the Englischers, and if she was really ready to return home and make amends with her mamm. Her mamm’s reaction to her return would determine if she was truly ready to be baptized into the church and make a life for herself in the Amish community.
Now, at nearly twenty-five years old, she knew it would be tough to go back, and the possibility of running into Jonah Beiler after all this time would be even tougher. Over the years, she’d had time to get over his admission about kissing her under the mulberry tree, but the embarrassment had made her swear off boys forever.
Jonah had made a career out of teasing her, and up until the point where he told everyone about the their shared kiss, the worst thing he’d ever said about her was that she’d kissed a frog down at Goose Pond when she hadn’t. She was sure Jonah had no idea the impact his lie that day would have on her entire life, but that didn’t make it any easier to forgive him. Jonah was three years older than Abby, and she felt he should know better than to do such a thing. Even now, she feared they would forever be branded as kissing cousins.
Jonah had been a thorn in her side from the moment they’d first met—always teasing her and getting her into trouble. But as the years passed, they became closer. And when Abby turned eighteen, their relationship changed entirely. They started to develop feelings for each other that others might consider an unholy crush. It wasn’t until she went home and complained to her mamm about the youth teasing her, that she discovered the truth. The full impact of
her mamm’s lie had changed her entire life.
But that was in the past, and she was prepared to make amends with everyone—even Jonah. As for his schweschder, Becca, she’d missed her wedding to Levi Graber. Abby and Becca had been best friends, in addition to their supposed blood-relation to one another. There was a lot of lost time she needed to make up for with her friend, and she hoped the time had not caused a break in their friendship.
There were a number of different reasons Abby left that day, her mamm’s lies being at the top of that list. If the truth be told, the idea had been building in Abby ever since she and her mamm had first stepped foot onto Amish soil. She’d been trying to break free, always feeling a nagging in the back of her mind that she didn’t fit in. When she discovered why, suddenly everything made perfect sense. The breaking point for Abby began with her love for Jonah Beiler, and ended with her mamm’s lies. Those lies had torn her away from the only father she’d ever known, and from Jonah, who could have been her husband had she known it was not a sin to love him.
Her decision to leave the community stemmed more from her desire to escape the life she’d felt trapped in for the previous nine years. She loved her parents, but when she discovered that Jacob Yoder was not her real father, she no longer needed an excuse to leave; it was already well-formed in her mind. She’d felt betrayed by her mamm, and she pitied Jacob for accepting the responsibility of raising her when he knew he couldn’t possibly be her real father. Finding out she was really half Englisch was enough to make her want to revisit her past.
The fight between her and her mamm escalated to beyond reason and had prompted her to do the very same thing her mamm had done when she was about the same age—run.
But here she was, about to walk back into the Amish community that had claimed her childhood. The only difference between her return and that of her mamm, was that she wasn’t toting a child along with her.
After leaving home, she’d gone back to the same small town where she’d spent the first ten years of her life, and had worked at The Brick Oven, a large bakery in the historic district downtown. Having developed a love and obvious talent for creating Amish pastries and pies that drew in customers for miles, Abby’s confections kept the bakery from going under in a weak economy. She hadn’t planned on returning to Ohio, but she’d missed the friends she’d left behind as a child, and wanted to revisit the childhood memories. But they hadn’t quite turned out to be what she’d remembered them to be.
The home they’d lived in was now run-down and in a bad part of town. Maybe it had always been that way, but she’d thought things differently as a child. She hadn’t even meant to stay for so long in the battered town, but when she landed the job at the bakery, time stood still. For the first time, she felt she had something that was hers alone. Then she reunited with her best friend, Rachel. They’d become roommates and had a lot of fun together—in the beginning.
When Rachel began to bring home boyfriends to spend the night, Abby pulled away from her and began working more hours at the bakery, much to her employer’s delight. She loved making Amish treats that customers would line up out the door just to get a taste of. There were always several standing orders every day from her regular customers who had come to depend on her sweet creations to keep them satisfied.
But when the letter came from Onkel Seth explaining the hardship he and Aenti Lillian had endured, she couldn’t turn down his plea asking for help with the bakery. At that point, Abby knew it was time go home to her familye in Indiana; no matter how much she dreaded facing her mamm, she couldn’t pass up the opportunity to go home to the Amish community where she knew in her heart, she belonged.
While in Ohio, she’d managed to find Eddie’s older sister, and his parents. It was nice to find familye she hadn’t known she had, but it just wasn’t the same. True, she’d adapted to life in the Amish community and had accepted Jacob as her daed, but having blood relatives in Ohio seemed to make a difference—in the beginning. Still, she felt alone there, and lacked a true sense of belonging. The only place she’d felt completely accepted was at home in Indiana with her mamm and Jacob—her daed.
**********************
CHAPTER 3
**********************
Abby felt overwhelmed as she pulled her suitcase behind her across the bus depot—until her eyes locked onto the last person she expected to see.
“Daed. I’m so glad to see you.”
Abby threw her arms around the aging man, a sense of home claiming her emotions.
“I’ll always be your daed,” Jacob whispered.
Abby pulled away, wishing she’d worn the plain dress she’d left home in, instead of the Englisch clothing. She wrapped her coat around her, trying to hide her attire as she searched her daed’s face for acceptance. Abby felt he looked older than she’d remembered, and his eyes held sadness behind the smile he so desperately clung to. His hair and beard had thinned, and both were peppered with more gray than the last time she’d seen him. She suddenly felt responsible for the crease in his brow that suggested more worry than she cared to see, but his welcoming nature would never let her take the blame. Still, she felt suddenly very selfish for leaving without telling him goodbye when she’d run off five years ago.
“I’m so sorry I left, Daed. How’s Mamm?”
His smile widened. “She’s eager to see you. Let’s get you home where you belong.”
Home. Could it really be that easy?
Jacob picked up his dochder’s Englisch suitcase, looking past the blue jeans and form-fitting shirt she wore, and tossed it in the back of the buggy.
At least she hasn’t cut her hair.
Abby climbed into the buggy feeling a little strange sitting next to her daed, as it was apparent to anyone looking at him that he was Amish. She, for all anyone knew, was an Englischer. Her feelings were conflicted at the moment, but she intended to honor her parents by dressing Amish while back at home. The problem was, she didn’t feel very Amish at the moment. Before she left the community, she’d stopped questioning who she was, but when her mamm told her the truth about Jacob, she suddenly felt lost in her place in the community and didn’t feel she could stay there. But could she go home now and put it all behind her? She wasn’t sure of much at the moment, except she wanted to try—for the sake of her familye.
They rode in silence, leaving too much time for thoughts of regret to seep into Abby’s mind. She had tried to push back the guilt about running from her familye for nearly five years, and now it was rushing back in a sea of bad memories and last words. She and her mamm had written to each other over the years, but they’d managed to avoid talking about that final day when everything escalated
She knew now what she didn’t know then—that her mamm’s lies were only to protect her from a dangerous mann who had less paternal love for her than the ground she walked on. God’s green earth was far kinder to her than her biological father had been capable of, and she felt bad that it had taken her so long to realize it. The land and the community that resided in it were all that she needed.
Her familye had taught her to appreciate that such simple things were the very core of who she was, and trying to find herself among the Englisch would never fill her heart the way home could.
Abby knew she had a lot of fences to mend, and she had to start with the mann sitting quietly beside her.
“I was surprised to see you at the bus depot—especially after I never even said “goodbye” to you when I left. I’m sorry for acting so immature. I love you, Daed. I hope you know that.”
Jacob clicked at the mare, steering her off the main road. “Abby, there is no reason to bring up the past when it’s been forgiven. You’re home now, and that’s all that matters.”
Abby shifted nervously in her seat. “I want you to know that I’m home to stay.”
Jacob kept his eyes on the road. “I’m glad to hear that. So you’ll be taking the baptism then?”
She didn’t need to wait for
her mamm’s approval of her return. Having her dead pick her up was confirmation enough for Abby. “Jah. I’d like to go see Bishop Troyer first thing tomorrow morning. Will you drive me?”
The corners of Jacob’s mouth turned up into a smile. “I think that’s a gut idea, but let’s get you home first; your mamm has been waiting a long time to see you.”
The mare increased speed as they pulled onto the long drive to the haus. The horse knew she was home, even if Abby didn’t. Despite the familiar row of snow-laden oak trees lining the lane, and the icy pond, it was difficult for Abby’s heart to accept. Anticipation and dread filled her entire being at the thought of seeing her mamm again.
**********************
CHAPTER 4
**********************
Abby stepped down from buggy in front of the haus, and stood there while Jacob put away the horse. She willed her feet to move, but she couldn’t get them past the freshly shoveled walkway that led to the snow-covered porch. Abby listened to the wind push at the porch swing, weighed down with snow, the rusted chain squeaking in protest. Remembering how the sound used to comfort her, she shuffled her feet toward the steps, hoping her wobbly legs would support her effort to reach the front door.
The familiar sound of the door hinge made her look up in time to meet her mamm’s soulful eyes. Her mamm knew the difficulty Abby faced without even having to say a word. She, herself, was the prodigal son in female form, and she, too, had come home looking for redemption.
Tears pooled in Lizzie’s eyes and her heart beat out of sync at the sight of her dochder. Despite the Englisch clothes, and the long hair cascading from beneath her pink, knitted hat, Lizzie could still see her dochder beneath all of it.
Under the Mulberry Tree: Book Three Page 1