He felt her lace her fingers around his. “Colt,” she said softly. “It’s not your fault.”
It was his fault.
“Even if you had stayed she could have died.” That’s what everyone said.
“I abandoned her.”
Peyton pulled his hands and directed him to sit on the step beside her. She twisted her legs, favoring the ankle he was responsible for twisting, but didn’t let go of his hand.
“That’s a lot for you to carry. Did you know my mom died at my sixteenth birthday?”
He knew. It was Willow Valley and they were neighbours. Of course he knew.
“October first. For a long time I blamed myself after she died. She had spent weeks creating this huge party for me and Kate and she died during it. Went into cardiac arrest and didn’t make it to the hospital. Whether it made sense or not, I thought she died because of that party.” That was ridiculous. “And it didn’t matter what people said to me. I don’t celebrate my birthday even to this day. Like it’s a punishment for her death. So I understand what you’re saying, I understand what you’re feeling and why you are feeling it. It took me more than two years before I let it go.”
He didn’t think he could ever let this go. How could he forgive himself? What if he had stayed and she had lived? Even if she wasn’t his, the love he felt didn’t make it any less painful.
“One night I was missing her so badly, I snuck into her closet, my dad had never cleaned it out yet. I sat in her closet just wrapped in her smell and blaming myself for her dying and wanting her back. I fell asleep and when I awoke Abby and Avery were curled up beside me sleeping and that was my moment. That was the moment when I realized it wasn’t my fault and if I kept blaming myself I wouldn’t ever live.” She leaned her head on his shoulder. “Of course I was a pretty smart teenager, I mean I did fall head over heels in love with you and you’re kind of amazing.”
He chuckled. He wouldn’t call himself amazing. “How’s your ankle?”
“Very sore. I need to ice and wrap it.”
He sat right up and was planning on picking her up and taking her straight to a nurse, but she resisted...insisting her head would rather rest on his shoulder.
“Let’s take a few more minutes,” she said.
He relaxed. “I’m sorry about your ankle.”
“Blame yourself for everything Colt. Are you sorry about the kink in my back from that kiss?”
He frowned. “You have a kink in your back?”
She laughed under her breath. “It’s the very best kind of kink. Would you relax Patterson, I’m teasing you.” She squeezed his arm. “Where’s that snippy little comeback of yours?”
He grinned and lowered his voice to a deep sexy notch. “I can give you a kink.”
She laughed and it lightened the load he had been carrying around with him. Only she would laugh when he offered to do wonderfully sexual things to her.
“You need to let some of the bottled up feelings, emotions, guilt...whatever inside you go,” she said.
“I’ve been pounding it out at the gym.”
“Hey, I’m going to the gym tomorrow. Leaving around a quarter to six in the morning.”
“Why so early?”
“I’m meeting with the girls around eight at the shop.” The store seemed to be her life and he was starting to understand the thrill as he was awaiting the paperwork to buy Chet’s place. “I will have an hour at the gym and a quick shower before meeting them.” She slanted him one of her daring grins. “If you can wake yourself up by then why don’t you come with me?”
Only the last year had his mornings turned into lunch awakenings. He took her dare. “Alright.”
She smiled. “I’m ready to ice my ankle.”
Chapter Nineteen
They were up before the sun even kissed the sky good morning. The fresh, crisp, cool air reminded Colt of the many mornings he awoke early to go to practise. The familiar feeling of regret that frequently nagged him was passive today.
His night hadn’t been as difficult or as long with Peyton’s words soothing him back to sleep.
Colt offered to drive and, before six, she led the way. Fifteen minutes after the lights dimmed, and the class began, he was regretting his decision to join her.
“This isn’t exactly what I had in mind,” he whispered very quietly into the silent relaxing room of people.
The front of Peyton’s body had melted into the mat underneath her with her head turned toward him. Her morning makeup-less face was soft and her eyes were closed. He mimicked her position, but he certainly wasn’t melting into the mat and he wasn’t relaxed either.
As his voice touched her ears her eyes popped open and a tiny smile tugged at her natural lips. “Shhh,” she whispered back then her long lashes shadowed the delicate skin as they dropped.
“And again inhale for five seconds. Hold for three second. And finally release for five seconds.” The soft, almost incoherent, tone of the instructor lay across them like a gentle blanket.
Colt did the best he could to concentrate on her words and follow through with them. The calmness was opposite to the hollering in a rink or grinding of the personal trainers he’d hired throughout his career.
The soft voice stopped right beside him, two feet ruining his vision of Peyton’s morning sunshine. The tiny, well toned woman around the same age kneeled in the tight blue yoga pants that Peyton was also wearing. On their way to the truck, then into the gym, the long hallway to the yoga room and her beginning stretches, he’d noticed the lime green yoga pants pull, tuck, curve and stretch with her every movement. He was sure they did the same thing to the woman in front of him, but he was more interested in how they snuggly fit Peyton.
Was he supposed to have his eyes closed? If he’d had them closed maybe she wouldn’t have stopped by him and disrupted his view, the only thing actually relaxing him.
“Take a deep breath for a five second count.” She was talking directly to him. How was he possibly breathing wrong...it wasn’t like when you’re pumping weights and you need to breathe deeply into your muscles for each move...they were lying on a mat practically asleep. He breathed with her even lower tone counting to five. “Now hold for three. One...two...three.” Hadn’t he done that before? “And slowly exhale for five.” The “slowly” again was directed at him. “Excellent.” She winked at him before moving on. “Everyone move into a sitting position and let’s breathe into our muscles.” Breathe into our muscles!
Cole wasn’t as graceful as Peyton sitting up. She watched him and he watched her. She chuckled. “Don’t worry, it gets better,” she whispered, before turning away and again closing her eyes to the voice of the leader.
After he was finished breathing into his muscles he planned on pumping his bad boys up. How long was this yoga class?
Almost an hour later they had finished and he had to admit he felt...relaxed. He felt a bit foolish but he hadn’t been the only male to attend.
“I think you did really good,” Peyton said spraying his mat. She had brought her own mat since she was a regular three times a week.
He doubted it. “You didn’t notice the instructor by my side almost every move pushing, pulling and twisting my body in ways I didn’t know it could,” he whispered.
She laughed. “It’s because you are a newbie.”
“My body agrees with you.”
He helped her wipe down his mat and then the yoga instructor came over. “Peyton, amazing job as usual,” she said. “I didn’t see you at hot yoga last week?” Hot yoga? What the hell was hot yoga? It sounded even worse than regular yoga, if that was possible.
“I like my morning yoga routine,” she said. “I’m not much of a night time yoga girl.”
She shrugged. “You should try it at least once.”
“I will think about it.”
The instructor smiled, then turned to Colt. “How do you feel?”
Ready to run out the door. “Relaxed.”
“You di
d very good.”
Peyton nudged his side. “See, I told you.”
“I hope I didn’t scare you away. You will learn the moves the more classes you attend.” Was she serious? He was never coming back.
“I can’t wait until the next class.”
She smiled and left.
Colt discarded the yoga mat in the pile and practically pushed Peyton into the hallway.
She grinned at him when he dropped his hand away from the small of her back. “You’re never coming back again are you?”
“Not a chance.”
She laughed.
They separated into their individual locker rooms. He could have dropped her off at the shop then returned to hit the weights but he thought maybe they could squeeze in a quick breakfast together.
He hadn’t had a massive weight pumping workout but he’d still worked up a sweat, so he had a quick shower then waited for Peyton.
He leaned against the wall next to the opening to the women’s change room and crossed his legs while he checked his phone for emails about Chet’s place. He was so anxious to sign the papers, transfer the money and start tearing that place apart. He’d also contacted a real estate agent to let him know of available houses in town. He would prefer out of town, the outskirts, with a large private fenced-in yard and alongside the lake.
“You still here?” It wasn’t Peyton’s voice but the yoga instructor’s.
He looked up. He hadn’t gotten much of a look at her in the yoga room. He’d been tired, caught off guard and, whenever he was with Peyton lately he didn’t notice anyone else. The instructor was tall, slim, plain Jane ordinary and probably only because he wasn’t interested.
“Couldn’t get enough?” she teased, starting up the flirt-athon. He could envision it already.
“Waiting for Peyton.” He hiked his thumb behind him.
She glanced at the opening beside him. “Are you two a thing?” she asked.
In his dreams. “We’re friends.” He was glad they decided to be friends but deep down he wanted more. More? Since when? What did that even mean?
“Give me your phone,” she said not giving him the opportunity to object, snatching it right out of his hand. “Here’s my number.” Her little fingers worked the seven-digits on his screen.
“I’m not looking for a relationship.”
She handed his phone back. “Who said anything about a relationship?” She winked and was off wiggling in her yoga pants.
He glanced down at his phone. The number was right there in front of him. An invitation for a fun night out with no strings attached.
He deleted the contact she had added, not in the least bit interested.
Peyton appeared around the wall. He slipped his phone into his pocket and pushed himself away from the wall. “You ready?”
She had showered and changed into tight fitting denim and a silky long blouse. She looked fresh and beautiful.
“Yes.”
As they walked through the gym he asked. “Are you hungry?”
“I have to go to the shop.”
“At eight,” he reminded her. “That gives us a good half hour to grab a bite to eat at Mrs. Calvert’s.”
Her mood changed since they parted ways into the showers. She was abnormally quiet for Peyton. “Sure,” she answered.
He walked her to the passenger side and opened the door. Quietly she climbed in and thanked him. It was the same with the drive to the bakery: silence. Something was bothering her.
The early morning people crowded into Mrs. Calvert’s bakery for morning coffee and snacks. There were four employees behind the counter at different cash registers taking orders. He recognized Mrs. Calvert. He hadn’t stopped by earlier to visit the older lady because he hadn’t wanted to do much of anything, until Peyton.
Even though she made sure to personally talk to everyone she served, it didn’t slow her down in comparison to her three, much younger, workers. As luck would have it, they ended up at her register.
“Good morning Peyton. The usual?” she asked.
“Yes please.” There was the smile she had been hiding from him since the locker room.
“And for you Colt, who was the little hero at the bake sale on the weekend?” Mrs. Calvert asked. He should have suspected she had donated some of her baked goods to support the ladies selling them.
“Coffee and banana bread please.”
“Coming right up for my favorite morning customers.” She busied herself getting their order. He was sure she said that to all her customers.
Peyton’s serious face re-appeared. She didn’t even make a comment on the hero remark which she would normally love to playfully dig into him.
When their order came up, and he was about to lead them to a table, she took her coffee and headed for the door.
“I’m taking mine to go.” She didn’t give him a chance to weave around the people and walk her next door. Instead, she pushed the door open and before he could get to her, she had crossed the alley and entered her shop door.
What the hell was bothering her now?
Chapter Twenty
Finally after sitting around waiting, the unaccountable delivery truck decided to pull behind the shop and unload their order. He was way past eight-thirty.
Kate and Sydney didn’t seem to mind killing the time munching away on breakfast and playing with the new coffee machine that produced individual mugs of flavored coffee.
Peyton stewed the entire time about the stupid prick she’d invited as a friend to her yoga class just hanging around getting numbers here and there from any girl he wanted and he didn’t even have to try.
Why did it have to be her yoga instructor? Now how was she supposed to relax as her soft coaxing voice was spending her free time having sex with Colt! She wouldn’t. Her morning yoga classes were over. She was going to have to find a new yoga instructor and a new class and keep Colt the hell away from both.
Actually she was finished with Colt Patterson. All the man caused was trouble in her life since that first day on the ice rink.
The delivery man stepped out of the truck and Peyton tore a strip right out of him absolutely fed up with men and their incapabilities. She was there on time. Her sisters were there on time. Except Abby of course there was no big surprise there. The little princess was probably shacked up with that voice she had heard during their phone conversation about you-know-who. The same you-know-who that was driving her mind into a chaotic mass of irrational thoughts. Peyton suspected Abby’s little bed friend was Riley.
Peyton’s mood was as foul as they came. She walked away when Kate took over, sending her a glare at her rudeness. Why was she getting a glare? She wasn’t the one being rude. It was the stupid driver without any manners deciding showing up an hour later than quoted was acceptable.
After the delivery man loaded their order into the back room...Peyton certainly wasn’t lifting a hand and offering now...the three women finished unpacking and double checking the contents to make sure everything was shipped. Just like an unreliable employee that would be fired for their tardiness on multiple occasions, Abby waltzed in the back room looking refreshed and with a big smile plastered across her face.
What did she have to be so happy about? Peyton glanced at her watch. Well, for starters she’d slept in two hours later than the rest of them.
“Hey sistas! Everything is in!” She slid the large square glasses off her face. “How exciting! Bath bombs are one of my favorites. What kind should we make first? Lemon? Vanilla? Honey?” She inhaled one of the brown glass essential oil jars and smiled, lost in the wonderful scent.
“How nice of you to decide to join us. Finally,” Peyton said with every bit of angry sarcasm on her tongue.
Abby looked shocked. “Someone woke up on the wrong side of the bed.” Always a joke with their youngest sister. Never an apology.
Peyton ignored her.
“Or she woke up in the wrong bed.”
Peyton knew she was talking
about Colt. That was it.
Peyton swung around. “I think you woke up in the wrong bed and I think it was Riley’s bed. It amazes me a guy you’re sleeping with, and don’t even have the nerve to tell us about, is more important to you than arriving on time to a business we are all busting our butts to make work.” Peyton yelled way louder than she intended.
Her mean words hit Abby’s hurt, readable face immediately.
“Peyton!” Kate interjected stepping between them and glowering at her like it was Peyton’s fault that Abby was a spoiled little brat.
“What? You all have a go at my sex life and I still manage to make it to work on time.”
“That’s enough,” Kate said through a thin lipped warning.
Peyton watched Sydney cross the room and touch Abby’s arm in a supporting caress. Shouldn’t Sydney be upset about what was happening between Abby and Riley? Only a few months ago Sydney had gone hog wild crazy upset even at the thought there was something forming between them and now she was comforting her? Comforting her!
“There are ways to say things and it’s not when you’re angry about something else.” Kate crossed her, arms standing her ground.
What did she know?
Peyton stormed past her and right into the office, slamming the door behind her.
She had to get a grip. What is wrong with me?
Why was she getting so mad about some girl giving Colt her phone number? They weren’t even dating! They weren’t even contemplating dating! Peyton knew why and her insides turned at the thought.
Tears stung her eyes. Oh my God, she was going to cry! Why was she going to cry? Get it together! Pull it together!
Peyton took a deep breath, rubbing her hands across her face, thankful she hadn’t dolled all up after yoga, but then if she had maybe Colt wouldn’t have taken the number.
She groaned. She was angry that thought came to her. Her emotions were all over the place and she felt like she was losing it.
“Peyton?”
Kate.
Lakeshore Legend: The McAdams Series (By The Lake Series Book 2) Page 17