“Apologize for what? You have nothing to be sorry for.” What? Is he serious? “I’m the one who should be apologizing. I just assumed you knew. It must have been a shock.”
An overwhelming urge to hug him took over me. “No, no—you did nothing wrong.” I needed to see him. Now. “Can I come over?”
Delta was already by the door when I hung up, my purse in her hand and a smile on her face. “He seems like a lovely man. Not all guys are out to yank your heart out and eat it, you know.”
I grabbed my umbrella and smiled back at her. “Thanks for coming over and slapping me back to sanity. You’re the best.” I crossed the space between us and hugged her. “Love you, Delta. I owe you big.”
Delta laughed and playfully slapped my cheeks. “I won’t let you forget that.” She was already on her way out when she spun around to face me one last time. “Ever!” She turned around again, umbrella opened over her head, and cackled like the Wicked Witch of the West.
Fire and Love
Gavin
Ana was coming over and I was moving around like Duffy Duck in a panic, picking up dirty clothes and dishes, fluffing pillows—yes, I actually fluffed my couch cushions—and spraying the air with something I thought was lavender scent but turned out to be bug spray. I must have checked myself in the mirror a hundred times, but saw no difference. My face was as always and my hair—well, I didn’t have enough hair for it to be disheveled. At the last minute, I decided to change my shirt, convinced it smelled of something strange. I was stupid nervous.
“She wanted to talk, so that’s a good sign.” Oh, shit. I’m talking to myself now. “Right? It has to be a good thing.” I paced around the room, acutely aware of my fake limb. I hadn’t thought about it in a long time, but now that it was at the center of my biggest problem again, it was all I could think about.
Twisting my hands, I dropped into the comfort of the couch. I reached out, grabbed a cushion, and sank my face in it before screaming and growling like a bear. How was it possible I was so fucking in love with this woman I couldn’t take her out of my thoughts? She inhabited my dreams—good and bad—and reigned over my days. My whole body tensed up at the mere thought of her. I wanted her. No, I needed her.
My phone vibrated in my pocket. Jackson. Was he psychic or something?
“Can’t talk now, Jacks.” The woman of my dreams is coming over. “What’s going on?”
“Just checking on you. You’ve been looking a little worse for wear.” He sounded worried. “Are you sick?”
I scratched my head and sighed loudly. “Shit, Jacks. I am sick—lovesick.” I hated how it sounded. I wasn’t in high school anymore, pining over some cheerleader who wouldn’t give me the time of day. I was a thirty-one-year-old man who was past his time for wild crushes. “I feel so fucking stupid.”
Jackson’s laughter rolled to my ear. “We’re all stupid when it comes to love and women, dude.” He laughed even harder. “I think that’s the definition of love where men are concerned: something that makes you an utter idiot.”
“What do I do then? I can’t get Ana out of my head.” Do I really want to? The truth was that as much as my life was in an uproar thanks to her, it was also a lot more interesting, richer in flavor and texture. I didn’t think I would want it any other way.
“Do what we all do—go with the flow. Enjoy the ride, man. As much as I complain about my wife, I don’t know what I would do without her.” My friend went silent for a moment. “If you love her, go for it, dude. What the hell is stopping you anyway? She’s beautiful and smart, even though she finds you attractive.” He chuckled at his own joke.
“Thanks, Jacks. She’s coming over in a few. Wish me luck.”
As soon as I pressed the off button on my phone, I heard a noise outside my door. Shit. This is it. Ana must be here. The moment of reckoning had arrived. I swallowed hard, stood up, and marched to open the door.
***
Ana
Are you ever going to knock on the door?
I had been standing by his door for at least five minutes, my hand staged to ring the bell but not quite making it there. Now that I was there, my bravado had left me. My legs shook, and my face burned in embarrassment. I was so ashamed I had reacted like I did. It was much like that nightmare of walking naked in the office or classroom. My not-so-nice side had been exposed to the man I was developing very strong feelings for. He must think I was an idiot, getting spooked by the fact he was an amputee. I couldn’t stand it. The guilt was like an elephant sitting on my chest.
Before I collected myself enough to knock or ring the bell, the door opened and Gavin’s handsome face appeared. His soft, and yet vibrant, eyes locked with mine, and my whole body vibrated. Fighting the urge to throw myself into his arms, I bit my lip so hard I tasted blood.
“I’m so disappointed in myself, Gavin.” I had found my voice. “I’m so afraid of being hurt I never stopped to think that I was being so terribly disrespectful to you.”
He took a hesitant step forward. “It was my fault. I should have told you.”
I love you. Oh, shit, I love this man.
My chest was about to explode. “No, it was not your fault.” Urgently, I added, “And please don’t think I ran because you’re disabled—which is totally the wrong description of what you are. You’re amazing. You’re beautiful and brave and—” Oh no. Here I go again—babbling like an idiot.
Gavin didn’t let me finish. In one fluid move, he gathered me in his arms and squeezed me against him. When his lips took mine, I went limp within his embrace. His taste was intoxicating, and electricity ran through my veins, unchecked and exciting.
“Maybe we should step inside.” We were still standing in front of his door. “The neighbors may get curious.” He chuckled, and I detected a tremor of nervousness in his voice. Is he as anxious about this as I am?
Still hanging on to him, I stepped inside his apartment and kicked the door closed behind me. My body was glued to his and it was heaven. I sighed against his mouth, and he kissed me again. Deeply and completely, his tongue inviting mine for a sensual dance that ignited a roaring fire inside of me. It had been too long. I had almost forgotten how amazing it was to allow yourself to drown in the pleasure of someone’s loving touch.
“What are we doing, Gavin?” I managed to ask when we came up for air. I knew what I felt, but I needed to hear his side of it. I had never been the kind of girl who had sex just for the fun of it. It was too easy for me to get too involved, too quickly. No one-night stands for me, no casual hookups. I had nothing against them; I just couldn’t handle them. I needed to know that Gavin was at least a little invested in this relationship before—
“I don’t know about you, but I’m about to make mad hot love to you,” he whispered against my lips, sending a million shivers of pleasure all the way down to my toes.
I giggled and caressed his face, delighting in the slightly scratchy texture of his day-old stubble. “I mean the two of us. Is this a one-time thing or are we starting something?” I hated that I sounded so needy, but I had to know.
He chuckled. “I’m hoping this is just the first time of many epic future make-out sessions.” Then he sobered up and lowered his voice. “And the beginning of a beautiful relationship.”
My insides oozed and sizzled at his words. Beautiful relationship indeed. “Don’t be so cocky. What makes you think it will be epic?”
In a sudden movement, he scooped me off the ground, his lips descending on mine again. “Why don’t I show you instead?” I wrapped my legs around his waist and suckled on his lower lip as he carried me deeper into his apartment and into his bedroom. “Be prepared to be awed.”
I laughed, my nose buried in the crook of his neck, delighting in his scent. “So sure of yourself, aren’t you?”
He dropped me gently on his bed, where I lay back, supporting myself on my elbows. “They don’t call me bionic man for no reason.”
A resurfacing of my earlier mortificati
on at how I had reacted made my cheeks burn hot, and I hid my eyes. He crawled over me and kissed me again, erasing my doubts and guilt. I could have lost myself in that kiss and never come up for air or food. My hands were itching for action, so I fumbled with the buttons of his shirt, desperate to feel his skin. He stopped me and took it off himself, shrugging it off his arm with a grunt of frustration. The damned thing was stuck.
“The bionic man can’t even get undressed on his own,” I quipped, pulling his sleeve free and throwing the shirt over my head. By all the angels in heaven, he was even more beautiful than I thought. His chest was strong, lined with well-defined muscles and—scars. They marred his skin from the left shoulder to the center in two irregular, almost parallel lines. I traced them, and he shivered under my touch.
“More souvenirs from the accident,” he explained. “Do they bother you?” He held my gaze.
I shook my head. I found those scars as sexy as the rest of him. They were part of who he was and a reminder of what he had been through. I flipped him around so I was now on top, and answered by tracing the scars again, this time with my lips and my tongue. He moaned and trembled, and the pleasure of knowing the effect I had on him almost overwhelmed me.
He held the edges of my T-shirt and pulled until it flew freely over both our heads to fall on the floor somewhere. His green gaze scanned my exposed skin and he blinked, the corner of his mouth arching into a half smile. We switched positions again and he made a big production of removing my old wear-around-the-house bra. Any other time, I would have been embarrassed, but this was Gavin. I wanted to share the mess that was me totally and completely. I didn’t want any secrets between us—large or small. I wanted him to love me wholly, not just the made-for-public-consumption parts.
With the offensive clothing article removed, I was now mentally urging him to use those amazing lips of his. He obliged, latching them around my breast, gently at first and then hungrily. I wanted more of him. So much more.
“Can we get rid of those pants?”
He hesitated briefly and I wondered whether he was nervous about me seeing his prosthesis up close. It didn’t hold him back for more than a few seconds though. Sliding off the edge of the bed, Gavin stood and rushed to remove his jeans, allowing me a full view of his imperfect but oh-so-amazing body.
My fireman was indeed very real, all hard muscle and sinew. As he stood there, bare and vulnerable, I realized I couldn’t give a hoot about his fake leg. I loved every inch of him, visible and invisible, whole or broken. I was in love.
He pulled on my yoga pants—God, I looked like a slob—and it was my turn to bare it all. Gavin’s breathing sped up to match mine, and I couldn’t handle it anymore. I had to have him, his skin against mine, hardness against softness.
Sitting on the edge of the bed, I worked my way from his chest to his neck with my lips, my hands flattened against his bottom, shivering in anticipation of how he would feel inside of me. He swelled against me and I whimpered in yearning.
“Okay, fireman,” I said, my voice thick with desire. “Let’s put out this fire.”
***
Gavin
Holy mother of God, she felt good. Her softness against my hard muscle was intoxicating. The heat of her silky skin made my own explode in goose bumps of excitement. I swelled against her, and every time she moaned or whimpered against my lips, I swelled further. An explosion was gathering momentum inside me as every muscle in my body tensed and shook in anticipation of what was yet to come.
“Are you going to make me wait all night?” Her whisper, a blow of soft air against my ear, made me shiver from head to toe. “I need you.”
Not that I needed any encouragement, but her words fanned the fire in me. I pushed her gently onto her back and devoured every inch of her naked body with my eyes. There was so much understated beauty in her. The tantalizing fullness of her breasts, the subtle curve of her hips and how they narrowed down to her inner thighs. I caressed her, brushing my hand from her neck down to her breasts where I lingered for a moment, relishing the reaction I stirred. With a feathery touch, I continued my trek down her body, flat belly, and lower. She wiggled and arched against my exploring fingers, moaning.
“I’ve been dreaming of this moment, Ana.” Might as well confess. I hadn’t slept in days thinking of how she would feel beneath me, under the probing of my hands and my lips. Her legs hung awkwardly over the edge of the bed, so I scooped her up until she was fully on it, magnificent in her birthday suit. I was so hard I truly thought I might explode, but I wanted this moment to last. My body said, “Take her now.” But my heart said, “Take it easy.”
I slid my hands up her legs and gently pried them apart to touch her again. She made a tiny, guttural sound that almost made me lose control. I wouldn’t last much longer. With my blood flowing wild in my veins, I followed my fingers with my lips and tasted her. She screamed as my tongue touched her warm folds, and I gripped the bed coverings in an attempt to stay cool. Impossible feat. I was burning inside and out, hotter than the air in a house on fire.
“Do you have a condom?” I was so intoxicated I was not sure where the question had come from. Ana had pulled me away from her thighs and was looking at me, desire shining in her eyes. “Do you have protection, Gavin?”
Like a fool I nodded, and rolled off the bed to get one from my stash in the dresser. My clumsy fingers fumbled with the wrapper and I almost dropped the damned thing.
“Let me do it.”
Yes, please.
I handed it to her and rolled back on top of the bed, next to her. With much defter fingers than mine, my petite writer ripped the package open and removed the much-needed item from it. She turned slightly on her side and pushed me flat on the bed while she rolled the condom over the one part of me that seemed the most out of control. I was about to sit up when she pushed me down again and straddled me. In maddeningly slow movements, she gyrated against my arousal, her hands resting on my chest. Unexpectedly, she winked and stopped moving. I protested.
“Now, fireman,” she said, a mischievous little smile on her lips, “the best things come to those who wait. Patiently.”
The little minx was teasing me. She knew I was so close to the edge it wouldn’t take much to push me over.
Ana, supported by her hands against me, lifted herself up from my body and then slid herself onto me—so slowly the pleasure was as intense as the agony.
“Holy shit, that feels—” What? Amazing? Out of this world? She was the writer. I had no adjectives to describe what I felt right then. I flattened my hands against her buttocks and pressed her harder, my hips rising to meet her. It was everything I’d dreamed of and then some.
Our bodies moved together in that frantic, intimate dance only two lovers can share. She held me inside of her, sheathing me with welcoming warmth, soothing and arousing all at once. I cupped her perfect breasts with my hands and shivered in delight when she pressed against them, urging me to go further, rocking back and forth on top of me. It wasn’t long until the stars in the sky descended into my eyes and I yelled out in the ecstasy of release. She shook against me, her head thrown back. I slid my hands down to her waist and held her down, wanting our contact to be even more intimate, not wanting to break apart.
Ana, flushed and smiling, collapsed on top of me, her head on my chest. Our bodies still connected, we came down from our high flight together. Can she hear my beating heart? It’s beating for her.
“Does it bother you?” I bit my tongue. Now was not the time to ask this. She mumbled a question against my chest. “My leg. Does it bother you in any way?”
She fluttered her lips across my skin, making me tremble in pleasure again. “Don’t be stupid. Why would it bother me?”
“It’s a turnoff for some women.” I should know. There had been a few awkward moments in my dating life that involved averted eyes and sudden excuses of “I forgot I have a thing tonight.”
“Are you kidding me?” Ana laughed and lifted
her heart-shaped face to me. “What self-respecting woman would even notice your leg amid all that Greek god body of yours?”
That made me laugh. It was the first time anyone called me a Greek god look-alike. I kind of liked it.
Ana slid her hands down and around my sides and clutched my buttocks. “You’re a hot number, fireman. And here I was, wanting to write about a regular, everyday guy.”
Her hands were sending shivers down my spine. The great kind.
“I’m a regular guy.”
“There’s nothing regular about you, Gavin.” I wanted to be special, to be the only one for her. I wanted to fill her every night and sleep next to her until morning. “You’re not only deliciously sexy, but you’re also an amazing human being.”
My lips stretched into what I was sure was a silly smile. Her heart pounded in unison with mine and I almost said it. Instead, I uttered, “You’re the most beautiful woman I’ve ever met.” And I love you. I love you with every fiber of my body, heart, and soul.
Coffee and Ducklings
Ana
The doorbell rang and I almost jumped out of my skin. I wasn’t ready yet. Gavin was coming over and I wanted to have a surprise for him, a sexy surprise. Without delay, I shrugged off the rest of my clothes and tied the apron I had bought the day before over my very naked body. My frilly black-and-pink body protector barely covered my chest, but it demanded—in big curly pink letters—Kiss the World’s Worst Cook. Considering the time Gavin had first come over to my house, I thought it was very appropriate. I rushed to the door, tucking in a rogue boob that kept spilling out from behind the apron.
Holy shit! It’s Mom! What was she doing here? She was supposed to be in Seattle. Good thing I had looked through the peephole before opening the door. My mom, arms crossed in frustration, stood right behind my door, the only thing preventing her from getting an eyeful of her slutty daughter wearing close to nothing. Oh my God. Got to get dressed quickly. “Wait up, Mom. I’m coming.”
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