by Caroline Lee
“Perhaps.” Tess’s mumble and intense interest in the boys’ play finally made Molly understand. Tess hadn’t loved her first husband. Why? Was she the sort of woman who was incapable of giving love? Or had he just been unworthy of her love? Or had she only felt companionship for him? Is that why she was uncomfortable with Cam’s feelings for her?
After an awkward minute or two, Molly asked, “How did he die?”
Tess answered quickly, as if she’d been looking to change the subject as well. “A spotted fever that the men in the logging camps were getting. Someone told me it was from an insect bite. He wouldn’t let me sell to the loggers that summer… so he caught it, not me.”
“I’m sorry.” Annie clucked, and took Rose from Molly. “I know it must have been hard to lose him, to be alone with a baby on the way. To know that he wouldn’t be there to meet Jacob…” Molly had to blink away tears. The thought of losing her husband was horrifying, but the thought of her children losing their daddy was just… well, she couldn’t bear it.
But Tess smiled tightly. “Joshua wasn’t interested in children. He was actually terrified when I found out I was pregnant.”
“He sounds very different from Cam.”
“Oh, he was.” And in that moment, seeing the way Tess’s eyes softened and her lips parted at her husband’s name, Molly wasn’t so sure that Cam was right. It seemed to her that Tess was very much in love with him. She wondered if the younger woman realized it.
“Peteh!” Annie’s tone turned her sister’s head. The girl was glaring at her nephews, who—along with Jacob—were gathered around the cake. Judging from her eldest’s guilty expression and the finger in his mouth, he’d been nominated to try the icing. “Dat’s foh desset.”
Molly smiled apologetically at Tess. “I’m sorry. I guess the draw was too much.”
“Don’t be silly.” Tess smiled in response. “I’ve been eyeing that cake since you brought it in. If Pete didn’t try it, I know Jacob would… or I would have!” They both laughed, and their hostess continued. “Will you stay for lunch?”
Molly hesitated. It really was bad manners to show up uninvited, and to expect their hostess to feed them too. But she desperately wanted to stay and learn more about her new neighbor, to get to know her better… “We don’t want to impose. We packed a little picnic, and can—”
“No need! We have plenty. It won’t be a fancy fare, but Ian has been giving me pointers on feeding a small army, with all of these cowboys. So a few extra mouths at luncheon won’t be a problem at all.”
Leaving the boys in the parlor with an admonition to be careful with Jacob, the womenfolk followed Tess to the large kitchen behind the dining room. Their hostess seemed pleased to show off the kitchen, and Molly assumed it meant that Tess had only recently become comfortable in the space. Molly herself was an accomplished cook and baker, at one time hoping to open her on bake-shop. So while her own kitchen was her favorite part of her house, she enjoyed helping others cook.
Tess handed Rosie two wooden spoons, and the baby happily sat in the middle of the floor and started hitting things. Annie and Molly helped Tess prepare platters of sliced beef sandwiches and cold salads. The more time Molly spent with their hostess, the more she liked the smaller woman. Tess MacLeod was practical and no-nonsense, but also kind and thoughtful. And she smiled whenever she spoke about Cam, which told Molly that she cared for her husband. So why did Cam think that Tess couldn’t give him her love? Had Nate misunderstood? Molly was honest enough to realize that she was poking her nose into something that didn’t concern her, after getting third-hand information. But she couldn’t help it; she wanted Cam to be happy, and having a loving wife would make him very happy.
She needed to see the couple together before she could make any further assumptions. What’s keeping Nate?
Nate couldn’t decide if he was ticked off at his sister-in-law or not. Oh, it’d been a clever ambush, alright. She’d waited until he’d stuffed his cheeks full of her amazing flapjacks before springing the news: “You’d better hurry to finish your chores. We’re leaving in two hours.”
“Mwa?”
“You’re taking Annie and the children and me over to the Open Skye to meet Tess MacLeod.”
“Mmmaaaghaa?”
Molly had smiled smugly and slid another flapjack onto his plate, and Nate had known he’d lost. “Ash can’t go, because my darling husband—” he’d heard the sarcastic bite “—said he had too much to do today. But he said that you didn’t have anything that couldn’t be put off.”
Nate sighed then, and swallowed. “Why do you need an escort, Molls? Pete’s old enough to drive the team, with your help.”
“Because I need you to find Cam, and bring him back to the house.” Nate had learned how to keep his face still, from watching his impassive older brother. Still, he raised one brow now. His sister-in-law shooed her younger son away from the counter, and poured Nate a cup of coffee, which he accepted with a nod. “What you said about their marriage—Cam and Tess’s—just doesn’t seem right. I want to see them together.”
“I just told you what he said.”
“But maybe he’s wrong.”
“Seems like you’re meddling, Molls.”
“Of course I’m meddling.” She’d ruffled his hair then, like she’d done when he was younger, and he’d sighed again. He would do anything for this sister-in-law of his, who’d brought light to their lives and happiness to his brother. If all she wanted was a little help in her meddling, then Nate could spend a day with his neighbor. Besides, it seemed that Ash had sacrificed him to Molly’s good intentions already.
So he’d finished breakfast and left instructions for their latest hired hand, and ridden with Molly and Annie and the kids to MacLeod land. Tipping his hat in farewell, he’d started looking for Cam in the likely places. A whole day to himself, with no urgent business, and the chance to see a friend? Nah, Nate decided he couldn’t be too irritated with Molly. Besides, if she learned whatever she needed, maybe she could meddle her way into making Cam happy. Like he deserved.
Cam was kneeling in the dust beside a calf when Nate found him. He looked up, nodded his hello, and said only, “Get down here, would you? I need help holding him.” As Nate swung down, he saw that the animal’s back leg was twisted. A break would mean the loss of the cow, but it looked like Cam was intent on straightening the limb. Nate lay on top of the calf while Cam pulled and twisted. When they were finished, he helped his neighbor lift the animal up over his horse’s haunches.
“Thanks.” Cam ran his sleeve across his forehead, and then took a long swig from his canteen. “So, why’d you show up just when I needed help?”
“Dumb luck.” Nate hesitated, and then decided on honesty. “Molly sent me to bring you home.”
He was taken aback by Cam’s immediate reaction. The older man shoved the cap back on the canteen, and took a step towards Nate. His jaw had slackened, and Nate saw fear in those green eyes. “What is it? Is everyone alright? Oh God, Tess?” Nate shook his head, and thought he saw Cam relax, before the other man continued, “Jacob, Da? Your family?”
It was telling, Nate thought, that Cam’s first thought—worry—was for his wife, and then his stepson. He was remembering what his friend had told him the last time they’d met on the range; Cam MacLeod sounded like a man in love with his wife.
“Everyone’s fine.” The tension eased across Cam’s shoulders, and the haunted look faded. “Molly decided she wanted to visit today, and she sent me to tell you to come see her.”
“Why?”
Nate shrugged, not quite sure how to explain that his sister-in-law planned to meddle. “Guess she wants to see your ugly mug.”
Cam smiled then. “Well, who wouldn’t?” He secured the calf and then swung up into the saddle. Before turning his sorrel—one Nate himself had bred, and his brother had trained—Cam whistled at the small group of cattle grazing nearby. “Don’t worry mama.” Nate had never been a cowboy, and
all of the cattle looked the same to him. “If he gets better, I’ll send him back out to you.” As Nate swung up onto his own horse, he heard the other man mutter, “And if he doesn’t, we’ll enjoy him.”
They rode back towards the ranch house and the womenfolk, and Nate made small talk with his friend. Cam wasn’t any good at hiding his emotions. Everything he felt and thought showed up on that big honest face. He was usually smiling, but he seemed even livelier than usual today. Nate wondered if it was the marriage that had changed him. Lord knew that women were enough trouble without trying to figure out what they were thinking… but Cam seemed to be coping well enough.
For his friend’s sake, Nate hoped that Tess could be convinced to love Cam. Nate had seen the transformation in his own brother, years ago, when he’d realized that he loved Molly. Ash had been miserable until he’d confessed his feelings to his new wife, and found out that she’d been carrying a torch for him too. The two of them had been almost impossible to live with after that, with all of the kissing and loving looks. But they’d been happy, and Nate hoped Cam got to experience that. Soon.
For his part, Nate would swallow his feelings and be happy for Cam, who deserved his wife’s love. Nate knew that he’d lost the only chance at love—at happiness—when Wendy stopped thinking of him as a friend. He missed her, and missed being able to talk to her all the time. But most importantly, he missed knowing that she trusted him and relied on him. It was hard enough to cope when she moved to St. Louis, but he respected and understood her decision. But when she’d stopped writing to him, stopped sharing her secrets and thoughts and gossip… that’s when he knew real loneliness. He just prayed that whatever slick city beau had scooped her up realized what a treasure he’d stolen. Nate alternated between wishing her happiness with her mysterious suitor, and wanting to travel to St. Louis to put a fist through the man’s face.
And so both Nate and Cam avoided the subject of women in general, as they rode back towards the house. They were so different—one big and blonde, one dark and lithe—with such different prospects and outlooks; but they were friends for all of that. Nate saw his friend’s open, friendly face crinkle into a smile as they passed the ranch’s front drive, and wondered what it must be like to show feelings so easily. But for all of their differences, he trusted Cam like a brother, and hoped for the best for his friend.
They didn’t make it to the house in time for lunch, but after leaving the calf in Smitty’s care, they were served a late meal by the womenfolk. It was nice to be fussed over, and he watched the way Tess made sure Cam was satisfied. Afterwards, holding his niece while she slept, Nate noticed the smile Cam’s wife offered only to the other man, and wondered how much truth there was to Cam’s worries.
Tess’s son was cute—not as cute as his niece and nephews, but close—and not as exotic as she looked. Nate saw beauty in her that might be passed over by someone else. Someone bigoted or racist, maybe, but he was used to that. He only had one Indian grandparent—and he didn’t even know which tribe—but it’d been Nate’s bad luck to inherit the dark hair and dark features that marked him as an undesirable. Maybe it was his own mixed blood that made him look at Tess and see a fine-looking woman, but judging from Cam’s description of her, she affected other men too. She was serious and watchful, until her husband or son or Molly made her chuckle, and then her whole face lit up and Nate really understood her appeal. Her hand rested on Cam’s shoulder, making small circles against his shirt, and Nate doubted she even realized what she was doing.
When Cam brought her fingers to his lips for a gentle kiss, she turned a look on him that was full of… well, if Nate had to guess, he’d say love. It was full of hope and affection and kindness and tolerance and acceptance, and if that wasn’t love, then Nate didn’t know what was.
He exchanged a glance with his sister-in-law, and judging from her smirk, she’d seen it too. Later, when he’d finally shooed his nephews out the door, Molly lingered on the porch. She’d handed the baby to Tess, to hand up to Annie, and then touched Cam’s sleeve.
Molly’s smile was smug when she said quietly, “You’re wrong, Cameron MacLeod.”
As his confused look, she lifted herself on her toes, and whispered into his ear, so low that Nate—who was busy eavesdropping—had trouble hearing it: “She does love you. She just doesn’t know it yet.”
For his friend’s sake, Nate hoped Molly was right. And later, when he shook Cam’s hand goodbye, he noticed something in the other man’s eyes that hadn’t been there earlier: hope.
CHAPTER THIRTEEN
September turned to October, and the days grew cooler as well as shorter. Tess had long ago settled into a comfortable routine on the Open Skye. She knew how the ranch operated now, knew what was needed of her to make her husband’s life easier. She came to know the four cowboys who worked the ranch, and her relationship with Ian grew closer too. She found joy in the way Jacob was growing and learning and changing every day. For the first time since her parents’ death, she felt like she had a place to call her own. She had a real home.
But there was an empty feeling, too. Something was missing. Something wasn’t quite right, and no matter how hard Tess worked, no matter how much she learned, no matter how comfortable she felt on the Open Skye, she couldn’t deny that she wasn’t completely at ease.
It had to do with her husband, she knew. Cam was just as gentle, just as kind and teasing and open as ever. But he hadn’t again mentioned his feelings for her, not after she’d asked him to try to stop “falling” for her. Oh, he would look at her with affection, and something else, sometimes. And sometimes, when she was lying in his arms after they’d made love, he’d start to say something, and then catch himself. She wondered what she would do if he said those words again. She wondered how she felt about her husband.
Tess admired him, certainly. And she cared for his happiness and comfort. She looked forward to a long lifetime of his teasing and his touch and the way he tried to guess what she was thinking. She appreciated the way that he was helping to raise Jacob to be a good boy. In fact, her feelings towards him weren’t complicated at all; she liked him, and liked being married to him. Was that what love was all about?
Maybe she would have found out, if he ever brought up the subject again. Perhaps, had he said the words to her first, she would have responded. But it seemed that he’d followed her request, and had stopped falling for her… so she swallowed whatever confusion she had about her feelings for him, and got on with her life.
In mid-October, Kelley brought home a cold. Thank God it wasn’t the influenza, but the boy was miserable for a week. He passed it on to Perkins, Smitty and Ian. The two cowboys recovered easily enough with rest and hot fluids, but the older man had a harder time of it. Cam was worried about his father, of course, but couldn’t take time off from the important business of preparing the ranch for winter to tend to the older man. Tess willingly took the job, and spent a week and a half bullying, cajoling and sweet-talking Ian into recovery. He reverted back to his grumpy state; nothing she did for him was good enough, to hear him complain. But she knew it was just a reaction to being stuck in bed when there was work to be done, so Tess endured it all with a somewhat-strained good humor.
That didn’t mean she didn’t complain to her husband. Cam didn’t offer any explanations or solutions for his father’s actions. He just sat back and let her rant in the privacy of their room, and that made Tess feel better. After, he wrapped her in his arms and kissed the top of her head and said “Thank you, Tessa, for putting up with him. I know it’s not easy to deal with a grumpy old man and a little boy and the rest of us.”
She sighed then, because appreciation, acknowledgement, was really all she needed.
And then she sneezed. By morning she couldn’t get out of bed; she ached all over and her head was stuffed and pounding. It had been only a matter of time before she caught Ian’s cold, she supposed. She tried to get up to make breakfast, but with a grin, Cam pushed her b
ack down on the pillows. “You’ve cared for everyone else for long enough. Now we’ll take care of you.”
“But Da needs…”
“Da is better. You said so yourself yesterday. I just checked, and he’s not even in his room. Probably escaped early this morning, to get away from your fussing.” Tess felt too miserable to smile at his teasing. “So just go back to sleep. I’ll fix you some tea.”
She wanted to protest that she could make her own tea—her husband much preferred coffee, and his tea-making skills left much to be desired—but she sneezed instead. He handed her a handkerchief, tucked the covers around her, and kissed her on her forehead. “Rest.”
Tess didn’t intend to go rest, not when there was so much to do. But the bed was so comfortable, and her back ached so much, that she thought that she might lay there for a few minutes more. Before he closed the door, she called out weakly, “Don’t let Jacob in here!” She’d done a good job of keeping him and Ian apart for the last week, which had been hard since they had become close. But she didn’t want her son to catch this nasty cold.
“Don’t worry, Tessa.” She could hear the smile in his voice, but it hurt too much to open her eyes again. “We’ll take care of things.”
She almost snorted at that, knowing he was laughing at her for wanting to do more work, but she didn’t have the strength. Visions of Cam trying to cook breakfast flashed through her head… and then she was asleep again.
With all the sleeping she did, her recovery was faster than her father-in-law’s. She was feeling better the next day, and back to her old self within a few days. Which was good, because Cam had his hands full with a grumpy father, a sick wife, and a fussy little boy. It took Tess most of the fourth day to realize that despite her efforts to keep Jacob from being exposed, he’d caught the cold somehow.
By that evening, he was miserable, and Tess was miserable too. She’d only just recovered herself, and was standing over the stove weakly stirring the stew. Jacob was sitting in the middle of the kitchen floor with his blankie and every single one of his toys, making cooking that much more difficult. Her patience had run out, she still felt like a limp rag, and she couldn’t stand to see her son so fussy.