Irma’s on one side of the coffee table, lecturing about history. World War II from the sound of it. She’s pretty good about making the bad guys sound empathetic. Not bad for an ex-Angel. But the kid’s evil eye keeps wandering toward her book on the arm of the sofa, so I’m not sure Irma’s tactics are working. I laugh quietly. Maybe she’ll fail and Lucifer will torture her for a change.
I peer at the cover of the book. The Secret Garden? Not exactly known for being dark or destructive. But hey, who knows? Twisted minds find justification in the weirdest places. Charles Manson has a place all set up and waiting for him in Hell, and his inspiration was a Beatles song.
“So, Lucy, why do you think Hitler did what he did?” Irma asks.
Lucy’s gray eye stays fixed on the book while the rest of her seems perfectly intent on what Alvarez is saying. “He wanted to give people something to focus on: a common enemy to bring them together.” She fidgets with the bottom of her shirt.
I try not to snort too loudly at her response. Hitler did it because he enjoyed watching people suffer, plain and simple.
Never did like that guy, not that I ever told Lucifer that.
But Irma nods, pleased. “So would you say he was a good leader?”
Lucy sighs. “Look,” she says, “I already know what I’m supposed to say. Obviously Hitler was evil. Okay? Can we get to math now? I want to finish early if we can. I have a headache.”
Irma frowns and tsks a little. “I don’t want to hear what you think you’re supposed to say. I want to know you have a brain and can think for yourself. Don’t be afraid to upset other people. Do you think Hitler was a good leader?”
“Yes. He knew how to get what he wanted.”
Irma smiles, satisfied at her breakthrough. “Now, about that headache. How about I make us some tea? That always helps me feel better, dear.” She doesn’t wait for an answer, just bustles off toward the kitchen like she knows the place. She probably does. She spied long enough before taking action. She must know that if she gets this wrong, she’ll have Hell to pay.
The minute Irma’s out of sight, Lucy snatches up her book and flips to a dog-eared page. I move out of the shadows and over her shoulder to peek. The first words I see are “blood sacrifice.” I don’t remember any blood sacrifice in The Secret Garden.
I can see why Lucy wanted to get back to reading. She left off in a pretty meaty place. Hidden beneath the false dust jacket looks like a recipe book for Satanic worship and black magic.
Interesting, but that doesn’t necessarily make her the Antichrist. Still, I can’t believe Irma hasn’t noticed it and used it to encourage her passion for evil. Instead she’s offering tea to a pre-teen. How out of touch is she?
Lucy’s breathing speeds up as she scans a recipe for controlling someone’s will and she grasps the edge of her shirt in her fist. She’s definitely young for this kind of thing. I wonder where she got the book.
I’m about to explore further when I feel Lucifer call. I appear instantly at his side. I’m not about to give him a reason to make me relive my death again. I even kneel.
“Get up,” he says from his leather throne. “Why weren’t you with Noah? Did he send you away already?” He snickers.
I try not to panic. “No, but Grace showed up. She burned me and screamed until I left. He was asleep, and I went straight to check on Irma’s progress. I can go right back to Noah if you like.”
Lucifer rolls his eyes at me. “I don’t like it when you kiss up, Keira. At least don’t be so obvious. Don’t tell me you didn’t enjoy your adventure into the past. Not even just a little?”
I shake my head, unsure how he wants me to respond.
“I loved the part where you tried to stab him with the letter opener,” he says, slinging an arm around me. “Bravo.”
“Thank you.” I try to keep my voice steady and not fall apart.
“You know what my favorite part was, though?” He turns me to face him and slaps both hands on my shoulders.
I shake my head again.
“When he compared you to an empty vase.” He laughs. “Not the best at metaphors, is he? But he did have a way with abuse.”
I wince. He knows exactly what hurt the worst from that night. And it wasn’t the burn of water rushing up my nose and into my lungs.
He grabs my chin and holds it steady. “A pretty face with nothing beneath. Would you like to prove otherwise, Keira? Because I’m going to give you an opportunity.”
My body goes numb. He isn’t done with me yet. I squirm and he squeezes tighter.
“Don’t look so glum.” He lets go and claps his hands together like it’s all a big joke. “If you do your job well, then you get to torture your husband to your shriveled little heart’s content.”
Oh. I wonder if he’d let me just leave Maxwell in chains forever so I never have to look at him again.
“But,” he says—and I should have known it was coming—“if you screw up like you’ve been doing lately? I’ll let Maxwell have a turn with you. I’m sure he’ll be delighted to see you after all these years. Especially since it was your murder that cemented his position here.”
He’d let Maxwell have me? I blink, scared to move lest I fall apart. Get it together, Keira. I shrug like it’s no big deal, but I doubt I’m fooling Lucifer.
“Not worried, eh?” he says with a frightening twinkle in his eye.
“I’m not going to fail,” I say, straightening up. “I’ll do whatever you say. I always do, Lucifer.”
He considers this, strolling in a circle around me only to stop in front of me again. “Yes, you’ve turned out nicely, Keira. I think you’ve almost cemented your place by my side. Help me succeed now, and you will be rewarded beyond measure. I’m talking real power. You can have Maxwell and choose Irma’s fate when she’s done with her task.”
“You mean if she fails,” I say.
“Either way.” Lucifer examines his fingernails, picking some dirt out from his index finger. “She thinks we’ll end up in Heaven, forgiven. The woman’s delusional.”
“Speaking of which,” I say, “she’s doing pretty well corrupting the girl, but I think she might be missing something important. She’s got a secret book.” I refrain from commenting on Irma’s cluelessness when it comes to young people. I don’t want my assignment switched right now, even at Irma’s expense. Not when I’m enjoying Noah so much.
Lucifer nods. “I’ll let Irma know. You check in with Josh. He may need you to keep Grace away from him. After all, we already know Josh possesses little willpower, while Grace doesn’t seem like the type to give in too easily. Then go back to Noah and work your magic. I want that boy corrupted past redemption. My deal with Josh negates my contract with Noah, but Noah doesn’t need to know that. If he thinks he’s going to be a Demon, he won’t think twice about committing sin after sin on Earth.”
“Will do.” I hesitate, wondering if Noah still has a shot at becoming a Demon instead of being shut away forever in Hell, but bite my tongue, worried about overstepping an invisible line.
“Why are you still here, Keira? Go to work. Unless you’d enjoy being Maxwell’s plaything.”
Chapter 15
Josh
The idea of seeing Grace again fills me with both longing and trepidation. I’m terrified that I won’t be able to resist drawing her into my arms if I see that shattered look on her face. But I have to tell her that I saw Ms. Alvarez with Lucy. And I know where I’ll find her: wherever Noah is.
Suburban Washington’s more familiar now than it was when I was alive. Back then, I spent more time in Seattle and I didn’t venture outside the city unless it involved a party and hot girls.
After a quick stop to check the screen for their location, I use the glowing bubble to transport myself to a park. It’s near a lake where a few ducks swim around, occasionally dunking under the water in pursuit of small fish. Grace sits on the grass, chewing on the tips of her hair, rocking back and forth while hugging her knees. It
takes everything in me not to go scoop her up and kiss her until she forgets that I dumped her so cruelly. She sees me and goes pale, letting the hair fall from her mouth.
Crap. How will I have the strength to resist telling her the truth? As it is, my chest hurts and my legs feel like spaghetti. I have to remember my deal with Lucifer and why I agreed to it. She rises slowly and starts walking toward me.
I search for the little douche responsible for all this anguish and, sure enough, I find him at a splintered picnic table with a couple other guys and a girl with even less clothes on than Keira usually wears.
Like I summoned her with just a thought, Keira comes rushing toward me from somewhere around the lake in her Hope skin. She’s dressed decently in jeans, boots, and a big ivory sweater, which shocks me more than her blond head and height. She waves at me, smiling.
Grace stops in her tracks as Keira rushes into my arms. She kisses me and I stand there like an idiot, wanting to push her away, but knowing I can’t break my deal or Grace will lose her brother to Lucifer.
So I kiss her back, trying to look like I mean it, then throw an arm around her shoulder while she wraps hers around my waist. All the while, Grace watches, looking pale on the grassy hill.
This sucks. Keira must sense my misery because she hugs me tighter and laughs. Grace flips her hair over her shoulder and stalks toward us, eyes locked on me.
What if she realizes who Keira really is? I sure as Hell did. Would that break my deal even if I technically didn’t tell? Call her out, Grace, I will, hoping I’ve found a loophole. But Grace shows no signs of recognition. She puts on a huge smile and holds out a hand for Keira to shake.
“Hi, you must be Josh’s new friend. I’m Grace.”
Keira grasps her hand then reattaches herself to me. “I’m Hope. Nice to meet you. Josh told me about you.”
“Oh?” Grace’s eyebrows shoot up into her hairline.
“You’re just as pretty as he said. Do you live around here?”
Grace deflates. “I did, but I’m moving up North.”
“Vancouver’s beautiful,” Hope says, taking my hand and entwining our fingers before kissing my knuckles. “Did you want to join us? I don’t know if I brought enough to share the picnic…”
“Isn’t it pretty cold for a picnic?” Grace asks, puncturing each word.
Hope looks up at me. I guess it’s my turn to play the part. She narrows her eyes. In other words, be convincing. I remember Keira’s teaching style well—looks filled with unspoken threats.
“I’ll keep her warm,” I say, and give her a peck. It’s the best I can manage, but it does the trick because Grace wilts on the spot, face and shoulders drooping as her warm eyes fill with pain. I paste on a smile while I watch her heart break all over again.
“Can I talk to you for a minute? Privately?” she asks me.
“Do you mind setting up the picnic?” I ask Hope/Keira.
“Of course.” She kisses me deeply once again and trots off toward the lake. I watch her go because it’s easier than watching Grace.
“So your relationship with Hope is for real,” Grace says, and I turn to see her hugging herself.
“Of course it’s for real. I told you,” I say, hating myself. “What did you want to talk about?”
“It’s just….never mind.” She turns away.
“Wait,” I say. “We still have to work together. Tell me what’s up. I’m still your friend.” My throat is thick and it’s hard to get the words through without sounding weird.
She nods. “Okay. It’s Noah. He’s dealing drugs. And…and…” she takes a deep breath and looks me in the eye. “He’s sleeping with your old friend, Keira.” Tears well up in her eyes and I long to kiss them away.
“Keira?” I ask, glancing toward the lake where she’s setting up a blanket and a basket.
“You remember her?” Grace snaps. “The Demon who tried to kill me?”
“Yeah. I remember. What do you think she wants?” I ask. Damn you, Keira. I’m gonna strangle her the minute Grace is out of sight. I made this whole deal to protect Noah from the Devil and keep Grace out of it and she’s parading around with him in front of Grace? Lucifer was supposed to let him off the hook. What the Hell is he playing at?
“I guess she wants to get back at me,” Grace says. “I’m sure she’s behind everything Noah’s been doing. And I’m going to stop her.”
“How do you plan to do that?” I ask. I’m trying and clearly failing.
“I don’t know. I was hoping maybe you would have an idea. You know her and you know how it works. You know, serving Satan and all.” The wind picks up and Grace brushes a strand of hair out of her face a little too fiercely.
I bristle, fighting down the resentment rising in my chest. She’s acting like I was Lucifer’s biggest fan or something. “Well, newsflash, Grace: I have no clue.”
Grace sniffs and wipes at her nose with her sleeve. “Fine. I’ll figure it out on my own. You’re busy anyhow. Just be careful, or you might end up back there.”
“Wait.” I grab for her elbow as she spins in place, ready to storm away. A familiar tingle travels up my fingers. It’s the magic I feel whenever we connect and I know she feels it too by the way her shoulders rise. I can tell she’s trying not to cry. I’m doing the same.
“What?” she whispers, back still turned.
“You think I’m going back to Hell?” I can’t avoid the crack in my voice.
“I just…I can’t imagine Mr. G actually giving you permission to mess with that poor girl’s emotions. If you can’t control yourself with women, you could be the one to fall this time.”
Shocked, I let go of her. I was going to tell her about Ms. Alvarez; it was the whole reason I came to find her. But I can’t seem to find the words. I did lie about Griffith giving me permission, and Grace’s accusation touches a nerve. It’s ture—I’ve never felt like Angel material.
I need to get it together. I can’t make Grace any more miserable than I already have. The whole point was to protect her, not destroy her. I made the deal for good reasons, but what if it was still the wrong choice?
I shake the thought away. I can still make this work if I can be strong enough to stay away from the girl I love. I’ll handle Ms. Alvarez myself. It’ll give me something to focus on until I can be with Grace again.
“Never mind. You’re right. I should get back to Hope. She’s waiting for me. And you better get out of sight before Noah sees you.”
She nods and walks off without looking back.
I head over to Keira, who’s waiting on the blanket with a smile and tossing crumbs to the ducks, which have waddled onto land for the goodies.
“You can cut the crap now. She’s gone,” I say, sitting and shooing a duck away from the blanket.
“But I like kissing you,” she says, “and you used to like kissing me, too. I remember. And it’s not like you’re cheating. You broke up with Grace. For me.”
“Not for you. Never for you, Keira. I find you disgusting.”
She swallows, averting her eyes. Did I actually offend her? No way. She’s impenetrable. She’s just trying to get me to crack.
“You slept with Noah, didn’t you?” I ask, trying my best not to reach for her throat—yet.
Her eyes trail up and over my shoulder toward Noah and his friends. “So what if I did? It’s a free country.”
“Seriously, you disgust me. I’m glad I didn’t hang around Hell long enough to turn into you.”
“What’s so bad about me?” she asks, raising her voice. The duck runs away.
I force a laugh. “What’s so bad about you? Where do I start? You exist to hurt people. You manipulate using sex. You get off on poisoning other people’s souls.”
Keira tosses a sandwich back in the basket. “I do what I have to do. You ought to know that. Or have you already forgotten, now that you’re free? You don’t deserve Heaven any more than me.”
It’s my turn to get pissed. I kick the baske
t and everything spills out the side, making Keira jump. “I died—permanently. I gave up my existence in a heartbeat to save Grace. That kind of sacrifice is something you can’t even fathom.”
Keira stands, her pale face flushed, eyes flashing red. “You weren’t doing a good deed—you were thinking below the waist. You’re still the same guy inside who you were before. And don’t give me that sob story about a rough life. It’s about your choices, and there’s always a choice.”
It’s the same thing I said to Grace about Noah when we visited her grave. It feels like a lifetime ago.
I stare at Keira as her chest pumps up and down, her face twisted into a snarl, daring me to argue. But I don’t have an argument, because I agree with her. I feel like a fraud.
What if I don’t belong in Heaven?
Chapter 16
Grace
I should’ve known Josh wouldn’t be content with me forever. He was driving the car that killed us both, and even though Ms. Alvarez was the one who technically caused the crash, it could’ve easily been him. He was drunk. He went to Hell for a reason.
But typical naïve girl I am, I believed he’d changed. Stupid, stupid, stupid. He had what he wanted from our relationship until I started putting him off—sue me for being preoccupied with my family’s devastation—and then he had to get it elsewhere. It’s not the first time he’s put sex before doing the right thing.
I feel bad for Hope. She seems nice enough. Maybe she won’t be as trusting as I was.
Or…what if I’m lashing out because I’m hurt? What if Josh really has deep feelings for Hope? She’s really living, not trapped in the afterlife forever. I wonder how far a relationship with a human can go. Can humans have babies with Angels and Demons?
But how could Mr. Griffith allow it when I can’t say one word to my family without losing the ability to see them for the rest of their lives? Josh has to be lying about getting permission. If I go ask Mr. Griffith, though, I could get Josh in trouble—maybe even get him kicked out of Heaven—and I can’t bring myself to do that. Despite everything, I can’t turn off my feelings, and I still care about Josh. And a part of me doesn’t want to know for certain if he lied to me.
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