“You see me. What?”
“Man, you’re tough. You need to forgive and …”
Slam.
Robi slammed the door on him.
Jeb opened it.
“Go away!”
“No, I’m serious I need to see you. I have a problem.”
“A problem?” Robi asked.
“Yeah, of a medical nature.”
“Are you serious?” Robi asked.
“Yes, very, I can’t go to Doc with this.”
“Why?”
“One, he’s fuckin whacked,” Jeb said. “Two I don’t trust those old shaking hands with my best asset.”
Arms crossed, Robi leaned against the desk. “Go on. What is it?”
“This.” Jeb began to undo his pants.
“Whoa. Wait. What the hell are you doing?”
“Showing you my problem and needing you to fix it.”
“What, your penis?”
Jeb smirked with a short, snorting laugh. “My penis doesn’t have a problem. You could easily find out.”
“God are you crude. You said your best asset. What was I supposed to think?”
“Glad that you would consider my penis my best asset. However, I do not. Even though it is up there, no pun intended.”
Robi rolled her eyes.
“Why would you think about my penis anyway?”
“You were undoing your pants.”
“And that means I’m showing you my penis?”
“Will you just knock it off and tell me what your problem is?” Robi snapped.
“Fine. I want to be able to sit down. But I can’t.”
“You have hemorrhoids?”
“No. I do not have hemorrhoids. I do however …” Jeb finished undoing his pants. “Have a BB imbedded in my ass.”
“You …you have what?”
“Have a BB embedded in my ass. At least I think it’s a BB, I have a hole …” he twisted his body to look behind, “yeah, from the Demon child.”
“Oh my God.” Robi laughed.
“It’s not funny. It hurts. Not bad, but enough to make me wince when I sit and I’d rather not wince when I sit.”
“I can understand that. Let me see.”
“Thank you.” Jeb turned, lowered his pants and then the waistband of his boxer shorts. He leaned against the bunk bed. “See it?”
“Wow.”
“Impressed huh?”
“Absolutely, I cannot believe this thing …” Robi reached out and touched.
“Ow.”
“Punctured the skin. Wow.”
“Ow.”
“OK, hold on.” Robi turned for her bag.
“Can you get it out?”
“Yeah, you’re just lucky that it isn’t deeper or I would have performed mini surgery. But …” Robi placed on gloves and grabbed a bottle of medication. “I can pop it out like a zit.”
“Really?”
“Yeah, hold still, this might sting.” She applied a topical. “Do you want me to numb the area?”
“Nah, I’ll be good.”
“Now I’ll be pressing the flesh, so it may hurt.”
“I can handle it.”
Robi placed her probing fingers to the flesh of his backside. “I’ll try to be gentle.”
“Thanks.”
“Does it hurt?” She pressed gently, her hand spreading across his rear to get a grip.
“Actually … no.”
“Good.”
“You are gentle.”
“I try. It’s tricky, I want to squeeze harder. But … I think I can do this by being easy.”
“Good.”
“Almost …,” Robi said. “There. Out.”
“Really?”
“Out. Hold on, I’ll put a band-aid on it. It’s bleeding.” She grabbed a gauze pad, added some saline, cleaned the wound, and then placed a bandage on it. “Done.”
“Thank you.”
“You can pull up.”
Jeb grabbed his pants.
Robi began to clean up. “Are you going to come out and meet Parker?”
“The new man? Yeah, in a minute.”
Removing her gloves, Robi faced Jeb. “I’ll go wash up and meet you there.”
“Sounds good.”
Robi started to leave, but stopped. “Are you OK?”
“I’m fine.”
“You’re just standing there.”
“I can’t move.”
“I don’t think it hurt that bad.”
“Not that. I can’t turn around. Not yet. Give me a minute.”
“Why …?” It dawned on Robi. “No.”
“I’m a guy. What can I say? You were grabbing my bum.”
“I wasn’t grabbing your bum, I was working on it.”
“Exactly.”
Robi gasped. “It was a medical procedure. How can you get aroused from a medical procedure?”
“Normally, I wouldn’t. But it was you. What can I say? You arouse me. So, take it as a compliment. You should feel honored.”
“Honored? Don’t flatter yourself.” Robi walked out.
Jeb stood there and started to fasten his pants. He chuckled in the after thought that he got Robi with his arousal rouse. A payback of sorts for being so mean to him. Sort of.
<><><><>
They moved the party to Monroe Street, both the bus and the Humvee. It was after Parker arrived and introduced himself, and they saw really no reason to be on the middle of main, not when Monroe—his street—was so much nicer.
Plus it had its perks.
At least for dinner. The pit stop which was supposed to be just for lunch changed to a day stop.
David Summer lived in the house next to Parker for twenty-two years. In fact, all the neighbors had long standing residences on the street. David and Parker went back to the days when they would show x-rated movies on the side of the houses while the wives were at Bingo.
Each neighbor had a role to play in making Monroe Street the festive summer hub.
David died in the drop, but his legacy and participation lived on in the form of a huge backyard barbeque grill that partnered a gigantic barbeque pit.
They were David’s but the whole neighborhood would use them when the weekly, summer cookouts began.
Manny was prepping the grill. The heat was excruciating and he kept using his arm to wipe the sweat.
He turned, shifting his eyes to Bishop who sat on the ground, oblivious to the heat, even though an open pit fire roared. He held a rotisserie probably used for chickens, and there were about a dozen open cans of Spam at his feet.
“Man, what the hell are you doing?” Manny asked.
“Dude, if you can cook, so can I. This is a feast right?”
“Spam.”
“No,” Bishop said. “Spam Ham. Barbequed and tasty. Got some sauce …” Bishop took a block of spam and carefully slid it over the rotisserie. “When I’m done this will be the pork.”
“There is something wrong with you. I never met a man who liked Spam so much.”
“Every man can love Spam; he just needs to give it a chance. Speaking of which …” Bishop gave an upward twitch of his head toward Jeb who sat at a picnic table with Eva and Greek.
Both Jeb and Eva had arms folded. Greek looked as if he were ready to scream.
“What's up with that?” Bishop asked, “Do you know?”
“Oh, yeah. Robi is making them make amends. Greek is mediating.”
“Is it working?”
“Does it look it?”
“No,” Bishop chuckled, continued to spear his Spam, while trying to listen.
Greek rubbed his temples. “I refuse to rehash my life. Now, one of you speak.”
Jeb rolled his eyes. “I don’t understand why this is important.”
“Robi thinks it is,” Greek said.
Eva added, “You would know if you had any respect for her.”
“Listen to you.” Jeb scoffed. “All mouth.”
“Better than al
l body.” She folded her arms. “Mr. Greek can I please go with Nick and Tate? They’re playing basketball. I wanna play. I’m good. I can do anything a boy can do.”
Jeb chuckled. "That’s because you don’t know what you are yet.”
“Jeb!” Greek snapped. “She’s a child.”
“She is no child. She is a demon seed in a girl’s body.”
Eva jumped in. “Better than a moron in a baboon body.”
Greek whistled. “Ok, enough. Let’s break this down. Eva, let’s start with you. Why did you shoot Jeb?”
“Good question,” Jeb said. “Why?”
“Well, when I saw Robi, I didn’t know her, right? But she was a woman, and it was very obvious that she wasn’t liking him,” Eva said. “Plus, he seemed mean and the biggest one to hit.”
Jeb fluttered his lips. “She aimed at me because I was the biggest and is making up the whole thing.”
“I am not.”
“Are too.”
“Am not. You grabbed me.”
“You shot me!” Jeb yelled. “And kicked me and tripped me.”
“Can’t help it you can’t fight.”
Jeb bit his bottom lip.
“And are mean,” Eva continued.
“You got room to talk little one.”
Greek said, “In Eva’s defense you are the meanest of the bunch.”
“Don’t help her,” Jeb barked.
“See?” Eva said smug.
“See,” Jeb mocked.
Eva gasped. “Can I go? At least let me sit with my Pa and Robi. I like Robi, she’s gonna be my new Ma.”
Jeb facially scoffed. “Please.”
“She is.” Eva stated.
“She ain’t gonna be your new Ma,” Jeb imitated her. “She’s got a kid, two, and she doesn’t need another. Especially you.”
“Well, when she marries my Pa.”
Jeb laughed. “Your Pa?”
“I know that Bishop fella likes her and all, but my Pa is better.”
Again, Jeb laughed. “Your Pa is old.”
“My Pa is not old.”
“He’s old,” Jeb repeated. “O-L-D … Old.”
“Oh, look you can spell.” Eva said. “Good for you.”
Jeb growled. “Old.”
“My Pa is not old. He knows how to treat a woman, unlike you. And … and...He’s not big, lumpy with a big bum.”
“I do not have a big bum,” Jeb snapped. “And Robi likes my bum.”
“She does not.”
“Does too. She was feeling it up on the bus, saying,” Jeb made his voice higher, “Oh Jeb, I like your butt.”
Eva’s mouth dropped open.
Greek waved out his hand. “Jeb, please, she’s a child.”
“She is not a child. She is an alien plot. A carnation of evil wrapped up in a prepubescent female body.”
“I’m telling my Pa.” Eva stood up.
“Go tell your Pa,” Jeb instructed.
“He’s gonna whoop your butt.” Eva turned, stopped, and spun around with a grin. “Better yet, he’s gonna steal your woman, that’ll hurt you worse. Ha!”
Jeb stuck his tongue out at her as she walked away.
“Jeb, Jeb, Jeb.” Greek shook his head. “This isn’t good. This isn’t healthy this …”
“Is fun.” Jeb smiled. “Finally someone I can butt heads with …” he stood. “And win. See ya.”
“She’s … she’s …” Greek called out, but Jeb kept on walking. “A child.”
<><><><>
They shucked corn. On the porch of Parker’s home, he and Robi shucked and tossed the cobs into a pot.
“This is amazing,” Robi said. “All of this.”
“Well, we always like to have plenty for the streets big Fourth of July festival,” Parker said as he shucked. “But, as you know, Fourth of July came and went without incident. Eva and I had a few, but the rest … planned to eat in time.”
“This will be wonderful,” Robi said. “So, Parker what did you do before everything died.”
“I was the Sheriff.”
“You’re kidding?” Robi asked shocked. “Really?”
“Yep,” Parker stated. “Two years from retiring. Was gonna call it. I retired all right.”
“My father was a police officer as well. I have the highest respect. Were you working the night it happened?” she asked.
“Ready for this?” Parker said. “Was on my first date since my wife died. My first date.”
Robi’s eyes widened. “Hell of a way to end a date.”
“Tell me about it. She was … a new woman in town. Which worked for me, ‘cause most women associated me with Melinda my wife. Anyhow, new woman, new teacher, got her to go out. We had finished a late supper and were headed to Lawrence’s for Karaoke when it happened.”
“Were you driving?”
Parker stared down to the ear of corn; he paused, and reflected ….
June giggled as they walked down the street. “Probably the best meal I have ever had.”
“Come on,” Parker said. “Wasn’t that good.”
“Yes, it was.”
“It was tasty, don’t get me wrong. I think the meatloaf was a little over done.”
June giggled again. “I come from the big city. I love diner food. But I have to say the company was the best part of the meal.”
“I didn’t bore you?” Parker asked.
“Not at all,” June said.
He stopped walking. “I have to admit, I was a little nervous. This being my first date and all.”
“I’m glad it was me.”
“Me, too. I just …” Parker stopped again. A buzz rang out and the streetlights flickered. “What the heck?” he turned his head just as June dropped to the concrete with a clunk. “June.”
Her head split with the hard connection and blood flowed freely.
Parker crouched by her, feeling for a pulse. “June? June.” He grabbed his radio from his belt and pressed in the button. “Tuc32, come in. Tuc32, come in.” He waited. “Goddamn it what …” A squeal of tires sent his attention to the street as a red pickup truck careened into the front of a store. Glass shattered. “Holy God, Sam.” Parker knew the man. “What the devil …” as he rose to his feet, two more vehicles crashed.
…. Parker snapped out of the memory. “Then, you know, I panicked, and ran all the way home.”
“Eva was fine?”
Parker nodded. “Oblivious, watching a movie. We even drove for miles looking for people. But only a few in town survived.”
“Thank you for sharing that story.”
“I bet we all have an interesting vision of what happened.”
“I saw a plane fall from the sky.”
“See.” Parker pointed an ear of corn. “Interesting. Share.”
“I will. Hey, maybe we can make that part of the picnic conversation topic you mentioned.”
“Have to have one every year. This year … the most interesting … whacha call it, the drop?”
“Drop, yes.”
“Drop story,” Parker said. “Shame we don’t know what happened.”
“Yeah, we do,” Robi said softly.
“What? We do?”
“Yeah, see what …”
“Pa!” Eva raced on the porch. “Hey!”
“Hey, sweetheart.” Parker gave his daughter a hug. “You staying out of trouble?”
“Just fighting with Jebediah,” Eva said as she hung on to the porch rail, swinging back and forth. “He’s so darned mean; you really ought to beat him up.”
Parker just chuckled with a shake of his head. “I’m sure you’re handling him just fine.”
“I am. You having fun?” Eva asked.
Parker held up the corn. “Just shucking.”
“I see. You and Robi. She’s pretty ain’t she Pa?”
“Eva?” Parker asked stern.
“Yeah?”
“Go.”
“OK. I’ll go find Tate and Nick to play ball.”
Eva took off running.
“Sorry about that,” Parker said.
“No, no problem,” Robi replied.
“So. You were saying. What happened to this world?”
Robi leaned forward elbows on knees, and began to tell him.
<><><><>
To say Parker didn’t believe the alien story was an understatement. Until he met Mas and he was slowly convinced.
The lack of a belly button or nipples, along with blue underarm hair, secured his belief.
It took half the meal for Parker to get over his shock.
Mas explained how his umbilical connection port sealed after 200 years.
Robi had to take the honors of explaining Parker’s July picnic tradition of a conversation topic in which everyone had to share their experience.
On the lines of the old time questions ‘where were you when Kennedy was shot’ and ‘what were you doing when the towers fell’ came the new one: “What happened with you when the drop occurred?”
Nearly everyone told his or her tale. A repeated tale with different scenarios, no one’s any more or less interesting than another. All pretty much the same. But Tate boasted his was different.
Robi laughed. “How can yours be different?”
“It is. I have the coolest drop story. That’s why I was saving it for last.”
“Jeb didn’t tell his,” Robi said.
Tate tossed out his hand. “Jeb’s nothing compared to mine.”
Jeb nodded. “He’s right.”
“Go on.” Robi encouraged. “We’re waiting. What is your drop story?”
“I was drunk,” Tate said. “No wait. Hammered. I had been seeing this girl for about seven months and she dropped me for a woman.”
Manny choked. “You didn’t see this coming?’
Tate shook his head. “I just thought she didn’t want to fool around because she was saving herself. Who knew?” He shrugged. “Either way. I was hammered. I went out after work, off base, and was too drunk to even think by nine PM. I got a ride to the gate, stumbled into base, hoping the MP’s wouldn’t notice. They didn’t. I made it home, stumbled upstairs and fell to the bed.” Tate continued with his story ….
A pounding headache caused Tate to open his eye as he lay face first on this bed. The sun was shining. Squinting his eyes, he and groaned.
“Fuck!” He sprang up when the alarm clock read nine forty-two AM. “Fuck. Wait.” Tate lifted it. “It’s blinking. Lights went out.” He looked at his watch. “Ok. It’s seven thirty. I’m good. Late but good.”
The Last Mile Trilogy Page 27