by Tawny Weber
What a cliché. Could she be any more pathetic? At least she hadn’t given in to the urge to call friends to join her in the pity-fest.
Nope. This was not a side of herself she wanted to share. Or even admit.
As if on cue, her doorbell rang.
Genna sighed, shifting her feet off the coffee table and tucking them under her hip as she curled into a ball on the couch.
For three days, every time someone came to the door, she’d wiped her face, jumped up and run to see if it was Brody.
It never was.
Whoever it was this time, they’d go away.
“Genna? Can we talk?”
Unless they had their own key.
“I was worried about you.”
Too tired to even get mad, she shifted her head but didn’t lift it off the pillow.
“Not now, Dad.”
“Your mom plans to come over this afternoon.”
Genna sat up so fast her head spun. Blinking away the dizziness, she plastered on a cheerful look and brushed sugar off the knee of her sweatpants.
“I’m fine. Let Mom know you saw me and nothing is wrong. I was just taking a nap.”
Standing in front of her now, her father scanned the littered table and gave a contemplative nod.
“Yeah. Those sugar crashes get ugly without a nap.” Then, looking unsure for the first time Genna had ever seen, he offered a hesitant smile. “Or a hug from Dad?”
Her lips trembled and her eyes filled.
Before Genna could say yes or no, he was there. As he’d always been. With a hug and a strong shoulder. A solid wall she could depend on. Whether she wanted to or not.
He didn’t say a word, though. No lecture. No I told you so’s. Just a hug.
Genna burst into tears.
He let her cry it out, grabbing napkins when he saw the tissue box was empty. He patted her back. He made sympathetic murmurs. She heard his teeth grinding at one point. But he didn’t say a word.
Finally, whether because she was cried out or because she was worried keeping his opinion to himself was going to put her father into dentures, she pulled herself together.
“I yelled at Brody,” she said quietly.
“Did he deserve to be yelled at?”
Genna frowned, peering through swollen eyes at the man next to her. He looked like her father. He sounded like her father. He even smelled like him. But this was where her father would be offering up lectures and realigning her life to suit his vision.
Instead, he was watching her patiently. Waiting for her to respond.
Wow. Maybe they’d both grown up.
“I don’t know if he deserved what I yelled,” she confessed. “But I hated seeing him at Slims.”
“What the hell were you doing at Slims? More to the point, what the hell is he doing there?” There he was, her normal father. His anger made her smile.
“Brody’s working there.”
“Why? He’s got a job. He’s a SEAL.”
“He’s quitting.”
Genna waited.
But her father didn’t explode. He didn’t rant about losers and how he’d always been right. Instead he took a deep breath, which did nothing to clear away his frown, and nodded.
“That’s why you yelled at him.”
“Yep.”
She waited for the interrogation. She saw a million questions in his eyes. But he said nothing. He just waited, letting her call the shots.
She wasn’t sure she knew how. It was a little mind-boggling.
“You know, I’ve dreamed of him coming back for years,” she said. “I never thought it’d really happen. It was one of those ‘prince on a white steed sweeping in to save me from a life of blah’ things.”
“That’s a lot to put on someone,” her father said quietly. “As someone recently pointed out to me, we can’t expect others to fill the empty places in our lives. That’s something we have to figure out how to do on our own.”
“I didn’t have holes in my life,” she said automatically. At her father’s arch look, she sighed and shrugged. “Okay, so I wasn’t happy. But it’s not like I was sitting here stewing in misery, waiting for Brody to save me.”
“Why did you wait until he was back to stand up for yourself and the things you really wanted then?”
Because it wasn’t until she was with Brody again that she’d realized how much of herself she’d let go over the years. With him, she felt strong and clever and able to face any challenge. With him she felt safe. Like whatever happened, she could handle it.
Because he was her hero.
So instead of making him feel all those same things, she’d yelled at him, attacked his choices and all but called him a loser like his father. She’d tried to railroad him into doing what she thought was best, then had thrown a heavy dose of guilt on top of that just to make sure he got the message.
Her stomach churned. She swallowed hard to keep the cookies from making a reappearance.
Brody hadn’t pushed her into her decisions. He hadn’t nagged—granted, the idea of Brody Lane putting together enough words at one time to be considered nagging was strange. He’d just listened to her and let her figure it out for herself.
“I ruined everything,” she said quietly, staring at her hands as if the reasons were written there somewhere. “I figured I knew what was best for him, and I tried to force him to do it, despite his own feelings.”
“You had to get something from me besides your good looks,” he said with a sympathetic expression.
Genna gave a shaky smile. Then she sighed.
“What do I do?”
For a second, her father’s eyes lit with a controlling gleam. Then he banked it and shook his head.
“It wouldn’t do me any good to tell you what to do, Genna. You need to figure it out yourself.” He hesitated, then as if he couldn’t resist, added, “Whatever it is, you need to make sure it’s right for both of you. And that it’s something you’ll be comfortable living with for the rest of your life.”
For the rest of her life?
Since she wanted to spend that with Brody, whatever it was, she’d better make it good.
14
“LANE.”
Brody sighed, taking a second to rub at the pain knotted between his eyes before turning around. He set the case of beer he’d been carrying on the bar just in case he needed both hands.
“Sheriff.”
“We need to talk.”
“I’m still officially enlisted in the U.S. Navy on medical leave. If you’re looking to drive me out of town, you’re going to need a new game plan.”
Reilly offered a chilly look, then gave a quick nod.
“Good to know.”
“You might also want to know that I’m not playing this time,” Brody said, figuring he might as well lay it all out from the get-go. “You have an issue, you deal with me direct and we hash it out. You’re not calling the shots, but I’m willing to work with you to make Genna’s life easier.”
Reilly’s stare grew contemplative.
“Actually it’s Genna I’m here to talk about.”
“I figured.”
“My daughter isn’t happy. I accept my share of the blame and I’m working on that. I figure you need to step up, too, and deal with yours.”
Sheriff Reilly wanted him to fix things with his little princess? Brody tensed. That, he hadn’t figured.
“Isn’t this why Genna stopped talking to you?”
“There’s a difference between looking out for someone, in trying to help make their life a little smoother, and in trying to force them to live their lives the way you want.”
“So wouldn’t your being here fall under the forcing things category?”
Brody asked. Even when he wasn’t trying to run his daughter’s life, the guy still had to poke his nose in?
“I don’t see that I’m forcing anything. Just having a conversation.”
“Nice.” Brody rolled his eyes.
“Genna said you’re leaving the navy. Why?”
“Why the hell do people keep asking me that?” Brody shoved his hand through his hair, even more irritated to feel how long it’d grown since he’d been on leave. Just another sign that he didn’t fit, wasn’t himself. “I’m getting out. End of discussion. I thought that’d make Genna happy. Don’t women want guys who are around more than a few months a year?”
“I can’t claim to be an expert on women, but I think they’d want a guy who’s honest with them. One who lives his purpose, even if that purpose doesn’t revolve around them. If you leave the service because you think it’s what she wants or because you think that’s the only way you can make a relationship work, then your odds of going the distance are pretty slim. She’s either strong enough to handle your career, or she’s not. Don’t put the burden of her happiness on your shoulders.”
“Quite a statement from a dad who spent the last ten years putting that burden on his daughter.”
Cheap shot, but Brody was feeling mean.
The sheriff took it like a man, though. Instead of snapping back, he simply nodded. Leaving Brody to feel like an ass.
“I won’t be getting any parenting awards. In retrospect, I’m pretty sure Cara and I made every mistake in the book. And our children paid for them.” Reilly paused, clenching his jaw and his face tight with grief. “Genna and Joe paid for our mistakes. The same as you paid for Brian’s.”
“Not even close to the same thing.” Shaking his head, Brody grimaced. “Whatever mistakes you made, and I’m not saying there weren’t some head scratchers, you always loved your kids. You acted out of concern. They knew that. Both of them.”
He didn’t bother to add that Brian hadn’t had an ounce of love to offer anyone, let alone his son. And his only concern had always been himself.
“I’ll deny it if you ever repeat this,” Brody said quietly, feeling like an idiot but scanning the empty room anyway to make sure he wasn’t overheard. “But I used to be jealous of Joe having a guy like you for a dad. I always figured if I had kids, I’d do a lot of things the way you did. Not all of them, since I’m a fan of learning from other people’s screwups. But some.”
“Thank you,” Reilly said quietly. His face wasn’t any less tight, but he’d lost that miserable look in his eyes. “I guess it’s only fair that I tell you that there weren’t a few times after you shipped out that I didn’t wish Joe were more like you.”
Holy crap. Brody jerked his shoulders, trying to shake off the emotional impact of that. This was getting ridiculous. A few more exchanges like that and they’d be hugging and offering to do each other’s fingernails.
Still, he knew what it must have cost the guy to say that, so he could only offer honesty in return.
“I’m not leaving the navy because of Genna.”
The sheriff arched one brow and waited.
Brody ground his teeth. This definitely wasn’t one of those “jealous for Reilly as a father” moments.
“I failed. You know how that goes, right? Despite any random thoughts you might have had to the contrary, you’ve called it plenty of times when you said I was a loser.”
The sheriff rocked back on his heels, both hands in his front pockets as he considered that.
“You’re talking about the guy who was killed on this mission?”
Brody went hot, then cold. Fury iced in his veins, freezing out his regret over how things had gone down with Genna. What the hell? She’d shared what he’d told her? Fists clenched, he wondered if the bar would withstand a few solid punches. As the fury coiled tighter, he realized he didn’t care.
Before he could release his anger on the decrepit wood, the sheriff held up one hand.
“The mayor pulled strings, called in a few favors to get the basics for the hero event he put together. Nothing classified, all approved by your admiral.”
Tension seeping away, Brody wondered how many different ways he could feel like an ass in one conversation.
“I figure that kind of thing, losing someone like that, it might give you second thoughts. Inspire a little worry. Maybe even fear.”
“I’m not afraid,” Brody said dismissively. Shaking his head at that crazy thought, he laughed and went back to stacking cases of beer. Time to call an end to this conversation.
“Not for yourself.”
Brody froze. He took a deep breath, slowly lowering the box onto the bar. Okay then. The conversation wasn’t quite over.
He gave the older man a questioning look.
“No? Then who am I afraid for?”
“Only you can answer that.” The sheriff shrugged. “If it were me, though, I’d probably be worried about my teammates. Maybe a little concerned that I couldn’t pull off the mission perfectly, so that means I was flawed. That I wasn’t a solid SEAL.”
Brody had taken plenty of hits in his day. Some he’d been braced for, others had come as a complete shock. But nothing had knocked him on his ass quite like the sheriff’s words.
He had to take a few breaths to pull his thoughts together. A few more to shake off the creepy feeling that the other guy was peeking through his brain for information.
“Your teammates are SEALs,” he finally said, matching Reilly’s light, conversational tone. “They’re trained to kick ass and if they thought you were afraid for them, they’d kick yours.”
The sheriff’s lips twitched.
“And the rest?”
Brody shrugged. The rest was right on target. But he wasn’t a pansy-ass. He’d spent most of his life being called a loser, feeling like his situation flawed him in one way or another. He’d overcome it before, he could overcome it again.
“You know, I was a green rookie right out of the police academy when I married Genna’s mother. I was so damned cocky, so sure I could handle anything.” Reilly smiled, a reminiscing look on his face. “Then I got a domestic abuse call. Before I could knock on the door, the guy shot me.”
Brody frowned. Obviously it hadn’t been fatal. But still...
“My first thought as I hit the ground was Cara. That she was going to freak, want me to quit the force. My second thought was that it hurt like a son of a bitch, and that I wasn’t as invincible as I’d figured.” The man paused, whether reliving the moment or for effect to let those words sink in, Brody wasn’t sure. “But Cara didn’t freak. She never asked me to quit, and if she worried, she never let on. And you know what? Not being invincible made me a better cop.”
If he’d taken a huge stick and smacked Brody upside the head with it, the guy couldn’t have hammered the message home any stronger.
It wasn’t just his own fears Brody had been nursing like a dirty little secret. He’d generously assigned a whole slew of them to Genna, too. Fears she’d never once voiced, probably hadn’t even considered.
But worrying about her fears, protecting her at his own expense? That’d been a hell of a lot easier than admitting his own.
Brody dropped his head back, staring at the ceiling and trying to figure out how he’d lost sight of the simple facts.
Genna was sweet, loving and sassy. She was clever, gorgeous and talented. And she was strong. Strong enough to tell him what she wanted. And what she didn’t want.
But he hadn’t given her a chance.
He’d done the same thing he’d cussed her father out for.
He’d made the decisions for her, all in the name of protecting her.
Maybe he was more like the good sheriff than any of them realized. And that wasn’t necessarily a good thing.
“
Figure it out?” Reilly asked after giving Brody a few minutes to stew in his own stupidity.
“I blew it,” Brody confessed. Then he shrugged and shook his head. “I’m surprised she didn’t kick my ass before she walked out.”
“You want to make it up to her?”
No. He’d rather find her, kiss her crazy until she forgot all the stupidity of the last week, then lose himself in her body for a few hours. But he didn’t figure that was the answer. Nor anything her father needed to know.
So he shrugged instead.
“Tucker went ahead with that event. The hero thing? It’s happening in about, oh―” he checked his watch “―ten minutes.”
“Without me?”
“Our esteemed mayor doesn’t like to waste a chance to show off for the press.”
Damn.
The only thing Brody wanted less than facing the crappy thoughts tangled up in his head was to stand up in front of a bunch of people and be declared a freaking hero. He wasn’t one.
But Genna saw him as one.
Which, he finally let himself admit, made him feel pretty damned good.
Besides, if he went it’d make her happy.
And he wanted that more than he wanted to hide.
“I’m not saying I changed my mind,” he declared, grabbing the bar keys from under the counter, then snagging his jacket. “I’m doing this for Genna. So she knows I’m not a total ass.”
And, maybe, so she’d forgive him.
Then he could get rid of this sick feeling in his gut. And maybe, just maybe, they could talk about the future and how she’d feel about sharing hers with a SEAL.
Maybe.
If he changed his mind.
Following Reilly to the cop car, Brody realized that while he’d ridden in a few over the years, this was his first visit to the front seat. Then the sheriff hit the road.
“Where are we going? Town hall is the other way.”
“We gotta stop by your place. Your gramma made arrangements for your dress uniform to be here in case you decided to do her proud today.”
Dress whites?
Shit.