by Rob Sinclair
I headed back to the open front door and hesitated just for a second, wondering whether I’d be walking out into someone’s firing line. I stole a glance and didn’t spot anything untoward. Taking big strides, not looking behind me, I moved back to the stairwell and began walking down.
As I approached the ground floor I again slowed, taking in my surroundings, looking for any threats. I could see none but it was impossible to know. I could only assume that Mary had scarpered or was hiding from me. Regardless, the stairwell was my only means of exit and time was not on my side. Moving forward was the only option.
But as I took the last step the question as to where Mary had gone was answered when I heard her voice.
‘Don’t move,’ was all she said.
She needn’t have worried. I wasn’t going to. I could already feel the cold barrel of her gun pressed against the back of my neck.
Chapter 39
The choices that people make tell you a lot about their intentions. I knew that Mary wasn’t going to pull the trigger. If she wanted to kill me, she’d already had two opportunities. But I had no idea why.
‘Do you trust me?’ she said.
No. I didn’t. Not at all. I didn’t trust anybody any more.
‘Yes,’ I said.
She took the gun away from my neck and I turned to face her.
‘Then follow me,’ she said. ‘We can’t stay around here.’
She turned around and began to walk away. I was confused as hell. But I wasn’t about to stop and try to figure out what was going on. Without a second’s thought, I set off in tow.
We walked away from the safe house, back towards the city.
‘Where’s Chris?’ I said.
‘I haven’t seen him since yesterday.’
‘What about Mackie’s bodyguard? From in the café?’
‘I don’t know where he is either.’
Something wasn’t adding up, but I didn’t know what. I got the impression, from her worried expression and her fidgety mood, that Mary didn’t either. Unless she was leading me on.
She pulled me into a side street and we stopped walking.
‘What’s going on, Mary?’
Her head was bowed. I could tell she was upset. And scared. I didn’t fully trust her. But her manner was certainly intriguing me if nothing else.
‘Yesterday, after Mackie was shot,’ she said, ‘I headed back to the safe house with Bates. He was one of Mackie’s security guards. The other one was killed in the street. But Chris never reappeared. I don’t know where he is.’
‘So where’s this Bates guy now?’
‘I don’t know,’ she said, her voice fraught. ‘He got a call last night and then went out. I’ve not seen him since.’
‘Have you called in?’ I said.
‘Of course I have. I spoke to Winter. He just said to sit tight. It looks like he’s been given an early promotion – the commander position he always wanted. But he’s not exactly proving to be helpful so far.’
‘And what did he say about Chris? And Bates?’
‘He didn’t tell me anything.’
Not altogether a surprise. Agents were only ever told what the JIA wanted them to know. Whoever was pulling the strings now that Mackie was gone was obviously keeping everyone tight-lipped.
‘They’re after you, Logan. They think you’re with the Russians.’
‘By they I take it you mean Winter?’
‘Not just Winter. Everyone who’s involved.’
‘And what do you think?’
‘They think you killed Mackie,’ she said, avoiding the question. ‘Or at least had him killed. They’re not going to rest till they get you. They’re in a panic about what you might have leaked. And about what further damage you could still do.’
I found it hard to believe her words. Not the sincerity of them, but how my whole life had been turned upside down. I never thought I’d see the day when I was wanted by my own people.
‘Then why haven’t you already killed me?’ I said. ‘That’s what they want, right? That’s what they’ve told you to do?’
‘Because I know you didn’t do it,’ she said, looking up, into my eyes. ‘I know you didn’t pull the trigger on Mackie and I don’t think you set him up either. I saw the look on your face when you ran. It wasn’t the look of someone who’d planned that attack. You were really afraid. I’ve not known you for long, but I’ve not seen that look on you before.’
Her words hit me hard. I felt such relief to hear them. To hear that someone out there might be on my side. But it also brought home for the first time just how I’d felt the moment that Mackie had been killed. I had been afraid. But more than that, I’d been devastated to see a person so close to me gunned down. Even to the bitter end, with everything turning against me, I’d still wanted my relationship with Mackie to be like it always had been. And that would never happen now.
‘What about Bates?’ I said. ‘What did he think?’
‘I’m not sure he does think. He’s not exactly a sharp tool.’
I smiled at that. Even though I’d never even spoken to him, he hadn’t struck me as such.
‘Why had you left the safe house?’ I said. ‘It’s pretty early for you to have been out.’
She rubbed her neck nervously. ‘I didn’t stay there last night. I just didn’t feel comfortable there on my own.’
‘Then why bother coming back at all?’
‘I wanted to see whether Bates or Chris had turned up.’
‘I don’t buy it,’ I said.
It was the way she’d said it. Either an outright lie or at the least she was holding back on me. She definitely wasn’t letting me in on something.
She sighed. ‘Okay, look, I’m worried, Logan. You know what I said about Chris? Everything that’s happening, Mackie’s death, it has to be connected.’
‘To the CIA?’
She shook her head, confusion on her face. ‘Maybe…I dunno. Why did you come back to the safe house anyway?’
‘It was the only place I knew to come back to. I’m not going on the run. I’m going to get out of this mess one way or another.’
I could tell from the look on her face that she was dubious about my aim.
‘I just can’t believe how messed up this is,’ she said, putting a hand to her head in exasperation. ‘Where the hell is Chris?’
‘The Russians told me Mackie’s death was part of a deal,’ I said, looking for a reaction.
‘You’re speaking with the Russians?’
She looked shocked, as though maybe she’d made a mistake in having shown faith in me. Maybe she hadn’t known that’s how I got away from the café. I wasn’t going to get into that with her now, though.
‘I’m not working with them,’ I said. ‘Not after what they did to me. Don’t ever forget that.’
‘I never thought you were. Otherwise we wouldn’t be speaking here, now.’
‘Do you have any idea what kind of a deal the Russians could mean?’
‘It’s not something I’ve been told about. But then who the hell would have told me? Mackie was my boss, so I hardly think he’d have told me about a deal to kill him!’
‘Yeah, figures.’
‘But then…’
I got the impression she was trying to find the right words.
‘You know something?’ I said.
‘Maybe. Maybe not. Not directly, but it’s about Chris. You know I was trying to tell you before, but didn’t get the chance?’
‘Go on.’
‘It may be a lead at least. He was on the phone the other day. In the safe house. He was asking about train times to Moscow. For today. I didn’t think anything of it at the time. I assumed he was just getting info for his next assignment. Before yesterday, I thought we both would’ve been out of here by now. It could be nothing. But it’s all I’ve got. Something is going on with Chris. There are just too many things that seem to be out of place.’
I thought for a minute. I had no way
of knowing whether what she’d said was a complete red herring. Or she could have simply been setting me up. I didn’t have many other options, though. And I was here to fight back after all.
‘Well, I’ve not got anything better to do,’ I said. ‘Let’s go to the station.’
Mary hesitated for just a second before turning around and we trailed back onto the main road, then headed onwards to the station. We walked at a brisk pace, trying to keep warm in the harsh winter air. But also because of anticipation over what might come next. A nervous cloud hung over both of our heads. I knew that neither of us fully believed the other. But I got the sense that she was struggling to get to grips with the situation almost as much as I was. Until things became clearer, we would both have to turn a blind eye to our suspicious minds. At least I knew that one way or another Mary would lead me to some answers. Even if she was just setting me up for a fall.
When we arrived at the station it was almost ten a.m. The morning commuters had all but dispersed. We found the departures board and noted the times of the remaining trains to Moscow. Only a half-dozen more were scheduled, mostly clustered in the afternoon and evening.
‘Any ideas?’ I said.
She thought for a moment before responding.
‘It was definitely today he was talking about,’ she said. ‘And it was in the afternoon. He asked for times after one. That’s all I can remember.’
There was a train at ten past one and then another after four. Either way, we had a bit of a wait on our hands.
‘I guess we’ve got some time to kill,’ I said.
‘Yeah. I guess you’re right. So what do we do from here?’
‘We sit and wait. It’s not like I’ve got anywhere else to go.’
‘We can’t just stand here, though. It’s not exactly inconspicuous.’
‘Why do we want to hide?’ I said. ‘If Chris is coming here, for whatever reason, then I’m not going to just let him get on his way.’
‘Why do I not doubt that?’ she said.
‘Come on, let’s go and get something to eat. I’m famished. Even if he does show up, it won’t be for a couple of hours at least.’
The station itself was relatively bare. But outside I’d noticed a line of cafés and restaurants. If we got a good spot, we’d be able to keep a lookout for Chris from there.
We headed out and found a Russian café directly opposite the main station entrance. We chose a table back from the window but close enough to get a good view of the outside. We positioned the chairs so that we were both at right angles to the front. That way neither of us had our back to the door. We both wanted to be able to scope the area for anything untoward.
I ordered blini with sour cream and a pot of coffee. Sod the no-caffeine rule. I’d slept the night in the freezing cold on the folded-down seat of a shitty car. I needed a boost. Mary ordered eggs, bacon and a pot of tea. When I smelt the fried meat coming toward me, I wished I’d ordered the same. But the blini were good and I knew they’d line my stomach well and keep me going if I didn’t get the chance to eat again in the next few hours.
‘What happened to you?’ Mary said, looking up from her cup of tea. It was the first time either of us had spoken for a good fifteen minutes or so.
‘How do you mean?’
‘When they caught you. The Russians. What did they do to you?’
‘It’s hard to talk about it,’ I said. ‘I’m sure you can understand why.’
‘It’s just that I’ve never been in that situation before. I don’t know how I’d cope. I know they train you for it. But to live it – that’s something else.’
‘After a while, you don’t even think about it any more. It just happens.’
‘Did they have you in a cell?’
‘Yes,’ I said.
‘When we first spoke to you, on the train here, I couldn’t believe how with it you seemed. And not just mentally but physically as well. I couldn’t understand how you could have kept yourself so together that whole time.’
‘I didn’t. At times I thought I’d never get out of that place. That’s not easy to deal with. It messes with your mind. There wasn’t an end in sight to it either. There was never any indication that anyone was coming for me. I got out of there on my own account because I didn’t want that place to be my grave.’
‘I know,’ she said, ignoring the jibe at her, at the agency, for leaving me in there. ‘That’s what I mean. I just can’t even imagine what being in there must have been like.’
I couldn’t be sure whether Mary was just fishing or if her questions were born out of genuine interest. I got the impression that it was probably a mixture of both. As someone who’d never found herself in such a situation, so she claimed, I could understand why she’d want to know about it.
‘Did they break you?’ she said, her face deadpan.
I paused from eating and looked her in the eye. A long, hard stare. I certainly didn’t want to start getting into the details of what I did and didn’t say to the Russians during my time there.
She broke eye contact first. ‘Sorry. I didn’t mean to put you on the spot. I just want to understand what happened to you. But it was wrong of me to even bring it up.’
‘Let’s just talk about something else. Okay?’
‘Yeah, okay.’
‘Tell me a bit about yourself. How did you end up here?’
She smiled. I hadn’t seen her do that much recently. It suited her. She had such soft features, but when she wasn’t smiling her face took on a look of perpetual angst – though maybe that was just at the situation that she found herself in.
‘I’ve been with the agency for two years,’ she said.
I raised my eyebrows. I’d sensed a nervousness about her manner. Much of that was likely down to her inexperience.
‘I joined from uni,’ she said. ‘I’d always wanted to be a psychologist but I wound up with a data analyst role at the JIA. Mackie soon persuaded me to become a field agent.’
If she’d joined straight from university, her two years with the JIA would put her in her early twenties still. I’d thought she was older than that. But I could now see how the age matched both her features and her manner. I was surprised Mackie had let someone so young, so naive, out into the field on a case like this. But then Mackie never did anything without a reason. Whatever Mary’s qualities were, Mackie would have been using them to their maximum.
‘So how long have you been in the field?’ I said to her.
‘Just a little over a year.’
I shook my head.
‘I know what you’re thinking,’ she said.
‘Yeah?’
‘Yes. You think I’m too young, too inexperienced, to be out here with the likes of you.’
She was dead right. I did.
‘You’re also probably thinking I had some privileged background. That I went to some posh school and then a top university before walking into this job.’
‘It had crossed my mind,’ I said. It was something I’d presumed when we’d first met on the train.
‘But none of that makes me any less qualified to do this than you,’ she said with just a hint of anger. ‘I might have been picked for this role for very different reasons to you, but that doesn’t mean I’m not good.’
‘No, but I agree with you one hundred per cent that we’re different. In fact, I don’t think we could be any more different.’
She huffed and leaned back in her seat.
‘Okay, I’m sorry,’ I said. ‘I was just trying to lighten the mood, but obviously it didn’t work. I don’t think you’re any less qualified to be here than me. You just have to understand that I’m not here because of some career ambition. This has been my life.’
‘I know that,’ she said. ‘And that’s why I feel that I can trust you. I know what this all means to you. What Mackie meant to you. I look up to you, Logan. You’re one of the agents that everyone aspires to be.’
‘Believe me, it’s not as glamorous as
it might seem.’
‘Not to you. But that’s what makes you all the more special. Because you don’t even realise how good you are.’
I felt myself blush just a little at her comment and I could see from the twinkle in her eye that she noticed. She beamed a smile at me and I felt my cheeks turn redder.
‘See?’ she said, a wide grin on her face. ‘That’s what I mean. You’re a good man, Carl. I know it.’
Her words hung in my head and I felt butterflies in my stomach. Such a strange feeling, but I knew where it was coming from. Mary was young and she was pretty. And she was flattering me. I was attracted to her, no doubt. And it was a real attraction, however fleeting. Not the captive’s empathy that I’d felt toward Lena but the kind of genuine sexual attraction that I hadn’t truly felt since I’d met Angela Grainger.
I hadn’t been with anyone since then – I hadn’t had the time or the chance to even think about it. Not long after Angela disappeared I’d been sent to Russia. In a way it had been the perfect case to take my mind off what had happened between us. The intensity of living in a foreign, alien place had taken up so much of my focus that I’d been able to push thoughts of her to the back of my mind. But now, sitting in the café, it was hard to not feel an attraction to Mary, to someone stuck in the same dire situation as me. It was a nice feeling.
Mary wiped her mouth with her napkin and got to her feet. ‘I’m just popping to the ladies’,’ she said.
I smiled and she walked off to the back of the café. While she was gone I ordered another round of drinks and some bacon and eggs for myself. The temptation was just too much for my neglected belly to pass up on. The waitress was quick and the extra orders arrived before Mary returned. When she did, she sat down and thanked me for the fresh tea.
‘We could be here for a while,’ I said. ‘May as well keep the hot drinks coming.’
‘Yeah, it really is bitter out there. I knew it’d be cold here, but living it is something else.’
‘Plus you’re paying,’ I said to her, grinning.
‘Ha. So you’re just as chivalrous as I’d heard then.’
I shrugged and got stuck into my bacon and eggs. We sat in silence again for a few minutes while I ate. With each mouthful I couldn’t help but feel that the lighter mood that had crept in earlier was seeping away. I couldn’t place why, but the atmosphere between us was just that little bit uncomfortable again.