by Martin Crimp
3 Of course she is.
1 Leave? Why should she?
2 What things are those?
1 She has no intention, thank you very much, of leaving.
2 What things are those?
1 What things are what?
2 Money? Property? Family?——The things that make life worth living.
1 (smiles) Oh those. Say that again.
2 Money? Property? Family? What is it?
3 Yes, what is it that makes the guests laugh so good-naturedly?
1 Why shouldn’t they laugh?
3 I’m sorry?
1 Why shouldn’t her guests laugh? Why shouldn’t her guests enjoy themselves under the tree? Haven’t they worked? Haven’t they struggled to extend this table? Haven’t they screamed at each other in private? Punched each other? Haven’t they broken each other’s skin to open this, for example, bottle of wine?
3 Oh?
2 Of course they have.
1 Of course they have.
2 Used the word bitch.
1 Used the word pig. Used the phrase——hmm … what’s that phrase?
3 ‘Say that one more fucking time and I’ll break your fucking neck’?
1 Used the phrase——exactly——‘say that one more fucking time to me and I’ll break your fucking neck’ in order to hang the tree, for example, with these tiny lamps.
2 You mean they have a right to laugh.
1 More than a right: they have a duty——just as when they toast each other they have a duty to meet each other’s eyes.
3 I thought his eyes always slide away.
2 Not any more.
1 That’s right: not any more. Now they stare back. After these——hmm … what is it? …
She silently counts, using her fingers.
… eleven——after these eleven years of marriage his grey eyes stare right back at hers.
2 Just as her grey eyes –
1 Exactly.
2 – stare right back –
1 Exactly——how did you know that?——into his.
3 ‘What is it you want, sweetheart?’
1 silently counts again on her fingers.
1 (inward) Or is it ten?
3 ‘What is it you want, sweetheart?’
1 (looks up from counting) What’s that? I’m sorry?
2 She’s asking him what he wants.
1 Asking who?
2 Asking Bobby.
1 Which Bobby?
3 Bobby her child.
1 (smiles) Oh Bobby——that Bobby——Bobby her child. Why? What does he want? Can’t he sleep? What’s wrong with him?
2 Maybe he’d like some fruit.
1 Maybe he’d like, yes, one of these plums. Or maybe he’d like just the tiniest sip of wine? No? What’s that he’s saying?
3 He’s saying he can hear a noise.
1 What noise? That’s just the guests laughing about all the things that make life worth living.
3 He’s saying it’s not the guests.
1 Not the guests? Then I’ll tell you who it is: it must be Bobby.
3 He’s saying no not Bobby.
1 Because Bobby is nocturnal. You know what nocturnal means. Nocturnal means that when you, Bobby, are asleep, that’s when he——Bobby——starts tunnelling.
3 He’s saying no not Bobby.
1 Because what did we say to you?——we said to you: don’t keep Bobby in your room——Bobby is very nice but Bobby is nocturnal——which means that when you, Bobby, are asleep, he——the Bobby you have insisted and insisted on keeping in your room——starts cleaning out his nest.
2 He’s saying no not Bobby: it’s a voice.
3 A voice? In the room?
2 In his head: he’s saying it’s a voice in his head.
1 (smiles) Well we all have those, sweetheart, we all have voices in our heads: those are our thoughts. That’s when Mummy talks to Mummy: that’s when Mummy says ‘Where did I leave my hair-clips, Mummy?’ and Mummy answers ‘Well Mummy, I’m not sure: have you tried looking in the bathroom?’ Or Mummy might say to Mummy ‘Why when I smile does it always feel like I’m smiling in spite of myself? Why have I stopped feeling alive, Mummy, the way I used to feel alive at the beginning?’ Or ‘Why——Mummy——has my hair begun to turn the colour of cigarette-ash?’ So Mummy has to get quite tough with Mummy then. Mummy has to say things to Mummy like ‘Pull yourself together, Mummy, and grow up’ or things like ‘Ten or eleven years of marriage don’t make a woman any less desirable——’
3 Far from it.
1 Far from it——yes——‘Any more than do a few flecks of grey.’ These are our thoughts.
2 He’s saying no not thoughts. He knows what thoughts are, but this is a voice. He says the voice doesn’t like him. He wants you to come.
1 Of course the voice likes him. What does he mean?
2 He wants you to come. He wants you to sit with him.
1 Of course the voice likes him. Everybody likes him. What is it exactly this voice is saying, sweetheart?
3 Good question.
1 Well?
Pause.
Well?
2 He’s saying the voice is too soft to make out.
1 Then how does he know it doesn’t like him?
3 Good question.
1 Everybody likes him. Everybody has always liked him. Mummy——Daddy——people in shops——people in the street——people on market stalls have always offered Jimmy, for example a banana——bent down, hooked cherries / over his ears.
2 Offered Bobby.
1 What?
2 Have always offered Bobby, for example a banana——bent down, hooked cherries / over his ears.
1 I said Bobby.
3 You said Jimmy.
1 Well whatever I said AND I KNOW FOR A FACT I SAID BOBBY people have always liked him: always offered him fruit, always offered him love, pulled down his winter hat to keep his / head snug.
2 He wants you to sit with him. He wants you / to sing.
1 Bought him pets, built him snowmen, assembled his jigsaws late at night so that in the morning he’d come down the spiral stairs to find the sky, and I mean the whole blue sky completed, cut the crusts off his sandwiches and taken / the cheese out.
2 He wants you to sing the / little song.
1 Clipped his fingernails——wants me to what?
2 To sing.
3 To sing the little song.
Pause.
1 (cold) Oh?
3 Yes.
1 Wants me to sing the little song.
3 Yes.
1 What does he mean?
2 Good question.
3 To blot out?
1 I’m sorry?
3 Is it to blot out?
2 Yes——good answer: maybe to blot out the voice?
1 What voice?
3 (mocks) ‘What voice?’
1 (smiles) Oh that——the voice——well yes it may well be to ‘blot out the voice’ but listen——
3 Oh?
1 That song, the little song, that’s … well … hmm … that’s Mummy and Daddy’s song.
3 Oh?
1 That is——yes, that is a private song.
3 Oh?
1 And don’t keep saying oh like that because it is as you very well know a private song.
3 Oh?
2 A private song?
1 Yes it is Mummy and Daddy’s private song and I don’t want to hear you talk about it ever again.
3 Not ever again?
1 That’s right.
2 Says who?
3 Says who? Says Mummy.
1 Is that understood: I don’t want to hear you talk about it ever again.
2 In front of guests.
1 In front of guests. In front of anyone. Not tonight and not ever again.
2 Says who?
1 I’m sorry?
2 Says who: not tonight and not ever again.
3 Says who? Says Mummy.
1 Says what?
3 Says
Mummy.
1 (smiles) Not says Mummy, sweetheart, not says Mummy: says the voice.
FACE TO THE WALL
Characters
Four actors are required
1 (male), 2, 3 and 4
Time
Blank
Place
Blank
/ indicates point of overlap in overlapping dialogue
1 Yes? says the receptionist, What can I do for you? How can I help you? Who did you want to see? Do you have an appointment?
2 He shoots her through the mouth.
1 He shoots her through the mouth and he goes down the corridor.
3 Quite quickly.
1 Goes——good——yes——quite quickly down the corridor——opens the first door he finds.
3 Walks straight in.
1 Walks straight in.
2 Yes? says the teacher, How can I help you?
1 Shoots him through the heart.
3 Shoots the teacher right through the heart.
1 The children don’t understand——they don’t immediately grasp what’s going on——what’s happened to their teacher?——they don’t understand ——nothing like this has ever / happened before.
3 Nothing like this has ever happened before——but they do understand——of course they understand ——they’ve seen this on TV——they’ve stayed up late as a special treat and they’ve seen this on TV——they know exactly what’s going on and this is why they back away——instinctively back away.
1 Okay——so they back away——the worst thing they could do——back away——but they back away——they back away against the wall.
2 Against their pictures on the wall——‘My house’.
3 ‘My cat’.
2 ‘Me and my cat’.
3 ‘My house’, ‘Me and my cat’, ‘Me in a tree’, and it’s interesting to see the way that some of them / hold hands.
1 And it’s interesting to see the way that some of them hold hands——they instinctively hold hands——the way children do——the way a child does——if you reach for its hand as it walks next to you it will grasp your own——not like an adult who will flinch away——never touch an adult’s hand like this or the adult will flinch away——unless it’s someone who loves you——a loved one——anyone else will flinch away——but a loved one will take your hand like a child——they will trust you like a child——a loved one won’t flinch away——a loved one will hold your hand because the hand reminds you of your love——whole afternoons for example spent simply feeling the spaces between each other’s fingers——or looking into the loved one’s eyes——the thick rings of colour in the loved one’s eyes——which are like something——what is it?——don’t help me——the precipitate——the precipitate in a test tube——but anyone else——an adult——will flinch away——just as the child——child A——now flinches away from what?——yes?
4 From the warm metal.
1 From the warm metal——thank you——of the gun.
Just as child A now flinches away from the warm metal of the gun. He shoots child A——in the head.
3 He moves on.
1 He moves on to child B. He shoots child B——in the head.
3 He moves on.
1 He moves on to child C. Child C——yes?
4 Tries to duck away.
1 What?
4 Child C tries / to duck away.
1 He shoots child B——in the head.
3 He moves on.
1 He moves on to child C. Child C tries to duck away. He shoots——no——yes——no——not shoots——yes?
4 But to no avail.
1 Tries to duck away. But to no avail. He shoots child A——in the head.
3 He moves on.
1 He moves on to child B. He shoots child B——in the head.
3 He moves on.
1 He moves on to child C. Child C tries to duck away. But to no avail. But to no avail. He shoots child C——good——in the head.
2 And how’s life treating him?
1 What?
2 Life——how’s life treating him?
1 Life’s treating him very well.
3 How’s his job?
1 His job is fine——well paid and rewarding.
3 And his wife?
1 Is charming and tolerant.
2 And how are his children?
1 His children are fine.
3 How many does he have now?
1 Four. He has four and all four of them are fine.
2 What? All four of them are fine?
1 All four——yes——is this right?——are absolutely fine. He loves swinging them through the air and hearing them scream with joy. When he gets back to their beautiful house he picks them off the ground and swings them screaming through the air.
3 And how is his beautiful house?
1 Increasing in value daily——well constructed and well located——close to amenities——schools——shops——major roads leading directly to major airports——minor roads——no——yes——minor roads——yes——minor roads winding——is it?——don’t help me——don’t help me——yes——minor roads winding through meadows watered by springs welling up through the chalk.
3 And how are the schools in his neighbourhood?
1 The schools in his neighbourhood are fine.
3 And the shops?
2 Yes——how’s the shopping?
1 Excellent shopping——excellent——yes?
4 And not just the big names.
1 And not just the big names. Excellent shopping——excellent——and not just the big names but——yes?
4 Those kinds of / smaller shops.
1 Excellent shopping——excellent——and not just the big names but those kinds of smaller shops you thought——not thought——imagined?——yes?
4 You thought had all but / disappeared.
1 Disappeared. Excellent shopping——excellent——and not just the big names but those kinds of smaller shops you thought had all but disappeared.
3 I thought those smaller shops had all but disappeared.
1 Well yes they have——but not here——not here——here you can find all those kinds of smaller shops you thought had all but disappeared. He moves on.
2 What? Artisans?
1 Artisans——yes——people who bind books——people who make shoes——people who grind knives——people who mend rugs——people who gut fish——cut cheese——people who mix paint. He moves on.
3 Medical supplies?
1 Medical supplies——catering supplies——motoring supplies——yes?
4 Spare parts / for cars.
1 Spare parts for cars no longer manufactured but lovingly restored. He moves on. He shoots child D——in the head.
2 So there must be blood.
1 Well of course there’s blood——not just blood on the wall——not just blood on the floor.
3 But blood in the air.
2 Blood in the air. Blood hanging in the air. A mist.
3 An aerosol.
1 An aerosol——that’s right——that’s good——of blood——which he hadn’t foreseen——he hadn’t foreseen the aerosol of blood——or the sound——is this right?——this is right——or the sound of the distressed children when his head was on the white pillow——on the white pillow——don’t help me——when his head was on the white pillow picturing the scene——but now——don’t help me——but now it’s clear——now the picture is clear——and there’s another sound——what’s that other sound?——don’t help me, don’t help me——the sound of his heart——no——yes——yes——the sound of his heart——the sound of his own heart——the sound of the killer’s heart sounding in the killer’s head——that’s right——that’s good——which he hadn’t foreseen——he hadn’t foreseen the sound of his own heart in his own head——filling his head——his own heart filling his head with blood——popping his ears——popping his ear
s with blood——like a swimmer——not swimmer——don’t help me——like a diver——this is right——diving into blood——he’s like a diver diving into blood——that’s right——that’s good——very good——down he goes——down he goes away from the light——diving into blood——popping——popping his ears and what are you staring at?——eh?——eh?——what are you staring at?——turn away——look away——no——turn away——that’s right——turn away or you’re next——be quiet or you’re next——that’s right——that’s good——you saw what happened to child A, you saw what happened to child B, you saw what happened to child C——you saw what happened to child C——you saw what happened to child C——no——yes——no——don’t help me——
Pause.
Don’t help me——
4 You saw what happened to child D.
1 Don’t help me——you saw what happened to child A, you saw what happened to child B, you saw what happened to child C, you saw what happened to child D, so——so——you saw what happened to child D, so——
4 So shut the / fuck up.
1 YOU SAW WHAT HAPPENED TO CHILD D, SO SHUT THE FUCK UP. CUNT. CUNT. LITTLE CUNT. I SAID DON’T HELP ME.
Long pause.
3 So he’s not a sympathetic character.
1 No.
3 We can’t feel for him.
1 No.
3 Cry for him.
1 No.
3 He’s never suffered.
1 No.
3 Experienced war.
1 No.
3 Experienced poverty.
1 No.
2 Torture.
1 Torture?
2 Been tortured——yes——for his beliefs. You heard what / I said.
1 No. What beliefs? No.
2 Abused, then, as a child.
1 No.