Grabbing her green-velvet tunic and shorts, she dived for the loos, cursing herself for leaving it so late to finish dressing. As reluctant as she was to appear in public wearing what could only be described as ‘hot pants’, she now wore the once dreaded items with much more enthusiasm than she could ever have imagined. Along with the green face paint, and orange feathers threaded into her backcombed hair, they acted as a shield, a mask to hide behind so no one would recognise her. Not that she was likely to know anyone in the audience, but remaining anonymous certainly helped to calm the trembles. A bit, anyway.
With shaking hands, she fastened her shorts over her bottle-green tights, and slid her feet into her plimsolls, which were still damp from being spray-painted green.
Throwing open the loo door, she almost ran smack into Barney.
‘There you are.’ He reached out to steady her. ‘You had me worried, I thought you’d done a runner.’
‘Tempting, but no. I was getting changed. How’s it going out there?’
‘Good. Only a couple of minor mishaps. Nothing the audience would’ve noticed.’ And then he spotted her shorts. ‘Whoa, nice fit.’
Her hand tugged self-consciously on the hem. ‘I feel like a mouldy Kylie Minogue.’
‘Well, you’ve got me spinning around.’ He grimaced at his own joke. ‘You look hot.’
So did he. His midriff was on show beneath his red-velour tunic, a flash of gold paint highlighting his stomach muscles. She refrained from telling him as much. He didn’t need any encouragement.
He was still checking her out. ‘Turn around.’
‘Stop perving.’
‘I’m not perving, I’m appreciating.’ His smile was disarming.
She shook her head. He had an answer for everything. ‘No time. We’re on stage soon.’
The SM appeared from the wings. ‘Puck, we need you in your starting position.’
‘See? We need to go.’ She made to leave.
He caught her arm. ‘Ready to do this?’
She shrugged. ‘Whether I am or not, there’s no turning back.’
He kissed the back of her green hand. ‘Break a leg.’
‘You theatre types are a strange bunch. Break a leg, indeed.’ She moved away from him. ‘See you on stage … And stop staring at my backside.’
‘I can’t help it,’ he called after her. ‘It’s hypnotic.’
She made her way through the props area, which currently housed various items, including the makeshift wall she’d made for the play-within-a-play. The wings were equally precarious – dimly lit, a minefield of ropes and scenery.
Standing at the side, ready to go on stage, were her niece and nephew. Flo was playing the part of Cobweb, one of the fairies. She looked so cute in her floaty white dress, which was covered in large pastel-coloured petals, and net wings. Her hair was adorned with flowers sprayed with glitter. She was holding an ornate wand. Freddie was dressed as a mini Oberon, having jumped at the chance to upgrade his part and wear the same outfit as Barney.
Charlotte made her way over to them. ‘You okay?’ she whispered.
Flo nodded. ‘Excited.’
‘I need a pee.’ Freddie’s voice was a little too loud, causing the SM to shush him.
Charlotte patted his shoulder. ‘Me too. I think it’s nerves. How’s your mum doing?’
Flo pointed to the stage. ‘She’s amazing. Uncle Paul forgot a line, but she whispered it to him, so it was okay.’
Charlotte looked through the gap in the wings. Lauren did indeed look amazing. She was animated, beautiful and confident, which just proved what a good actress she was. Off stage, she was anything but. Whatever was going on, it had reached crisis point. Charlotte couldn’t stand back any longer and watch Lauren deteriorate. Whether her sister liked it or not, she was going to confront her and insist Lauren confess all.
The SM appeared next to Charlotte. ‘Time to climb into the tree house, Puck.’
This was the bit she dreaded. Well, that and jumping off it, but that was the next act, so she had a while to steel herself.
Giving Freddie and Flo a quick thumbs up, she followed the SM through the obstacle course of props, and accepted the offer of a leg-up onto the scaffolding. It was easier to deal with her aversion to heights if she closed her eyes, so she shut them tightly as she climbed up. With a firm shove from behind, she landed in the cramped wooden tree house, her home for the next few minutes. The matting beneath her was scratchy, making it hard to lie still. She tried to settle, allowing her eyes time to adjust to the darkness.
Against a backdrop of crashing waves, and the actors projecting their lines on stage, she could hear murmured voices emanating from the audience.
Lauren and Paul finished their scene. It was now the turn of the Mechanicals, meeting to rehearse their play for the Duke of Athens. Her dad appeared, dressed in workmen’s attire, complete with leather apron, in his role of Bottom, the weaver. His first line was a little shaky, but he soon warmed up as the audience began laughing at the players’ shenanigans.
As Charlotte watched him, it struck her just how far her dad had come. When he’d sunk into a depression after their mum had died, no way would he have been able to act in a play. But look at him now, speaking to the audience, making them laugh with his comic timing. He was a different man. It brought a lump to her throat.
Great as it was to see her dad’s recovery, it wasn’t enough to eradicate the nerves itching beneath her skin, making her feel like her bladder was full and her mouth was dry. No amount of rehearsal had improved the trepidation of launching herself off six feet of scaffolding. Whether it was jumping off the ledge while attached to the harness, or merely climbing down the ladder onto the stage for her other entrances, her fear of heights still hampered her. She’d tried to ‘speed up’ as Barney had requested, but with shaking hands, wobbly legs, and a feeling of encroaching nausea, it was hard to do anything other than descend at a snail’s pace. Hardly ‘sprite-like’.
The scene below drew to a close. No going back now.
God, she needed a pee.
As the Mechanicals exited the stage, and the fairy music started, all she could envisage was the horror of her shorts catching on the ladder rungs and being catapulted into the audience. Oh, well, it would be one way of making a dramatic entrance.
She edged closer to the opening, trying not to make too much noise, and watched as Flo sprang onto the set to begin her ballet sequence.
This really was it. Why had she agreed to do this? Was she out of her mind?
Flo leaped across the stage and twirled, giving Charlotte her cue to appear.
She was in such a state of anxiety about descending the ladder too slowly that she simply closed her eyes and hurled herself from the planking. It was therefore something of a relief that she landed, with the precision of a highly trained parachutist, on the target marked X. The shock of successfully arriving on stage at the right time, and in the right place, momentarily threw her. She nearly forgot what to do next.
Thank God that Flo was concentrating. Her niece sprang into action, dancing up to her and giving her a gentle prod with her wand.
Right, her opening line. What was it again …?
Flo mouthed, how now spirit.
Oh, yes. ‘“How now, spirit. Whither wander you?”’
Flo waved her wand in the air. ‘“Over hill, over dale, I do wander everywhere.”’ She hopped, she sang, and she charmed the audience, inviting collective oohs and ahhhs with her precocious cuteness. ‘“I must go seek some dewdrops here, and hang a pearl in every cowslip’s ear.”’ She twirled back to Charlotte. ‘“Farewell, thou lob of spirits. I’ll be gone. Our Queen and all her elves come here anon.”’
It was Charlotte’s turn.
With dangerously high levels of adrenaline, she raced through Puck’s opening lines, exhausting herself, and – she was sure – everyone watching. ‘“The King doth keep his revels here tonight. Take heed the Queen come not within his sight.”’
She whizzed around the stage like a hyperactive child on speed, trying to emulate a mythical being. By the end of the first paragraph, she was perspiring, knackered, and running out of air. Breathe, she told herself.
Flo looked slightly dazed by her auntie’s antics, but kept smiling, like the little pro she was.
Charlotte skipped across the stage as instructed. ‘“I am that merry wanderer of the night.”’ She made the mistake of looking at the audience. There were so many of them, filling the rows of seating, all looking at her expectantly. She forced her head up, aiming her words at the darkening sky. It was an impressive sight: dark blue, streaked with smudges of red and pink. No time for sightseeing. Concentrate.
‘“Neighing in likeness of a filly foal.”’ She trotted on the spot, her playful neigh sounding more like an injured sheep. Belatedly, she remembered she was supposed to be entertaining the fairy and darted over. ‘“The wisest aunt telling the saddest tale.”’
Flo giggled, no doubt as a result of her aunt’s poor acting skills, rather than because she was genuinely funny, but either way Charlotte was glad to be nearing the end.
‘“… Then slip I from her bum. Down topples she …”’ As had been carefully choreographed, she toppled down and rolled over on the floor, with the aim of springing back up on, ‘“And then the whole choir hold their hips and laugh.”’ But as her knee gave way at the crucial moment, she stayed where she was.
Unperturbed by her auntie’s continued kneeling position, Flo tapped her with her wand before elegantly pirouetting off stage. ‘“Good friends. Would that he were gone!”’
Charlotte remained firmly rooted to the spot, a fear of falling flat on her face preventing her from moving.
Thankfully, Barney came to her rescue, striding across the stage and hauling her up off the floor. ‘“Ill met by moonlight, proud Titania!”’
She’d thank him later.
He turned to address Sylvia, who’d made a nervous entrance, her long gown catching under her feet, making a few people in the audience snigger.
Freddie copied Barney’s regal stance, thrusting his little chest out. Barney placed a hand on his sidekick’s shoulder, guiding him to face the audience.
It was nice how he looked out for the kids. Protected them. He was a good man, trustworthy … and not what she’d first thought when she’d arrived in Penmullion.
She felt a twinge in her chest.
Deciding that she must have pulled a muscle launching herself from the scaffolding, she slunk behind the fairy throne and remained there for the rest of the scene.
It was safer that way.
CHAPTER TWENTY-FIVE
Act Two
Barney stood in the wings, waiting to go on stage. The first act had gone almost without a hitch. The actors had upped their performances, gaining in confidence and perfecting their comic timing, and the audience were laughing and clapping loudly. They were reaching the midway point, and Lauren and Paul were throwing themselves into the fight sequence.
‘“You thief of love!”’ Lauren ran full speed towards Paul. ‘“Have you come by night and stolen my love’s heart from him?”’ Nate blocked her path, picking her up and swinging her around as she flailed and kicked about.
Paul backed away. ‘“Have you no modesty, you puppet!”’
‘“Puppet?”’ Lauren dug her elbow into Nate’s ribs, causing him to drop her. He rolled around the floor groaning, leaving Lauren free to advance on Paul.
Yep, it was all very frenetic, very convincing, and nearly all of it was acting.
Barney glanced across to where Charlotte was standing on the other side of the stage, hooked up to the fly rig. She still didn’t look completely happy about flying, he guessed she never would, but no one watching her would suspect a fear of heights. It was quite something to defy the clutches of a phobia. But then, she was quite a woman … as he was discovering.
Behind him, the Graham brothers stood silently, flanked by their mother, watching the fight scene. Glenda had no valid reason for being in the wings, she wasn’t due on stage anytime soon, but theatre etiquette stated that, once a show began its run, the director was no longer top dog, the SM was in charge – something Glenda had been quick to point out when he’d suggested she return to the dressing area and await her cue. And he’d thought working in medicine had been tricky. It was a piece of piss compared to this.
On stage, Lauren kicked Paul in the shins. Daniel grabbed her by her hair and pulled her away. ‘“Get you gone, you dwarf.”’
Nate knocked Daniel away, his frustration at Daniel’s exuberance all too evident. ‘“You are too officious!”’
The chase scene followed, with Paul trying to hide behind Nate and Daniel. The audience were rocking with laughter, unaware that Nate tripping up Daniel wasn’t part of the rehearsed choreography.
Paul ran into the wings, annoyed to find bodies blocking his path. Nate and Lauren appeared a moment later, and discovered the same issue.
Amongst Paul’s whispered requests for people to ‘budge out the way’, Barney prepared for his entrance. He was just about to step on stage when Paul fell against him – his cry of, ‘Mind who you’re pushing,’ followed by the sight of Nate pointing a finger at Vincent. Glenda and Lauren were tugging on his arm, trying to drag him away. Barney had no idea what had happened, but clearly something had gone down. He’d never seen Nate look so angry.
Paul looked equally perplexed. ‘What the hell’s going on?’
The SM appeared. ‘Barney! Get on stage!’
Shit! He’d missed his cue.
Leaving the SM to deal with the fracas in the wings, he stepped on stage. ‘“What fools these mortals be! Come, hobgoblin Puck!”’
With perfect timing, Charlotte appeared on the tree house ledge, one hand gripping the camouflaged scaffolding. She looked suitably impish in her cute shorts and matching waistcoat.
He strode towards her. ‘“This is thy negligence.”’
She did an adorable shrug, conveying both mischief and defiance. ‘“Believe me, King of Shadows, I mistook. Did not you tell me I should know the man by the Athenian garments he had on?”’
Her confidence had been growing all night, which was great to see. She’d transformed from an uptight woman into a playful nymph. Her reactions were natural and her comic timing was spot on. But the flow of the current scene was marred by raised voices filtering through from the wings. Instinct made him glance over. Quentin was having a go at Nate.
‘You … you did.’ Charlotte had deviated from the script. ‘You said he’d have Athenian garments on, and I went into the woods and I squirted love potion in his eye. I didn’t know it was the wrong one …’ She tried desperately to regain his attention. ‘Oberon!’
Barney realised he’d missed his cue … again. ‘“Hi Puck.”’
‘Hi.’ Looking relieved, she launched herself from the ledge and flew across the stage, arms outstretched, her toes pointed downwards.
The scuffle in the wings increased with a muffled thud, followed by a wooden toadstool rolling onto the stage.
Realising her master was somewhat distracted, Charlotte continued to ad-lib. ‘Well, I didn’t know there were two Athenian men, did I? You should have been more specific.’
Barney could see pushing and shoving in the wings, although who was shoving who, he wasn’t sure. One of the flats tilted precariously. He moved just in time before it crashed onto the stage.
The audience gasped.
He was a little shocked himself.
He tried to look nonchalant, as though it was supposed to happen and continued with his speech, ‘“Crush this herb into Lysander’s eye, and when they wake, all this derision shall seem like a dream, a fruitless vision.”’
A yelp from the wings preceded the sight of Tony trying to break up what looked like Nate and Paul wrestling with Quentin and Vincent.
Barney stepped around the fallen flat. ‘“Whiles I in this affair do thee employ, I’ll to
my queen and beg her Indian boy.”’ He dived into the wings and thumped someone on the back – he didn’t know who. ‘For fuck’s sake! Pack it in, will you?’
Nate and Quentin were locked in battle.
Tony and Paul were holding on to Vincent.
Glenda was tugging on Nate’s sleeve, hissing at him to ‘let go of her boy!’
Lauren was crying, pleading with everyone to ‘stop fighting!’
The SM was on her headset calling for back-up.
It was then that Barney heard Charlotte’s scream. He spun around in time to see her swinging wildly across the stage. Shit! No one was controlling the fly rig.
‘“My … my fairy lord, this must be done with haste!”’ Her voice sounded panicked as she wobbled on the end of the rope.
He ran onto the stage and tried to grab her, but she sailed straight past.
The audience laughed.
He ran across to the assistant stage manager’s side and into the wings. ‘Get someone on the fly rig.’
The ASM looked at him blankly. ‘But I have to cue the fairies.’ She pointed at her script.
‘Fuck the fairies,’ he said, realising a beat too late how inappropriate that sounded. ‘This is more important.’ When she remained frozen, he bellowed, ‘Do it now!’
On stage, Charlotte was desperately trying to hold it together as she swung from one side to the other, like a wayward pendulum. ‘And, basically, there’s a very long speech here, ladies and gentlemen, and all the spirits have gone to bed … er … isn’t that right, Oberon!’
The audience’s laughter increased.
Barney ran onto the stage. ‘“I with morning’s love have oft made sport …”’ He tried to grab her. ‘“Even till the eastern gate all fiery red …”’ He jumped again, only managing to dislodge one of her plimsolls. ‘“Opening on Neptune with fair blessed beams, turns yellow gold, his salt green streams.”’ He almost caught her, but lost his grip.
She was now ‘spinning around’, as well as swinging from side to side, and minus one shoe. ‘I feel sick.’ Not exactly Kylie.
The Summer Theatre by the Sea Page 25