“How did Sarah’s father do in your absence?” she asked. “Did he show himself ready to have his own command?”
That topic lasted until Zeb called them to the table. After that, the subject was food. Pamela insisted upon asking Abby and Moriah’s opinions of each dish. She then queried her father before favoring Zeb with the collected opinions of what he could do to make the dish even better next time. Zeb, who’d begun the meal looking nervous and afraid of failure, soon looked harried from trying to remember everything Pamela said. Abby finally rescued the poor man by telling Pamela she’d write everything down and give the instructions to Zeb so he wouldn’t have to try to remember all the details.
“Thank you, miss,” Zeb said, clearly grateful.
“Everything is really very good,” Moriah said. “You’ve done quite well.”
Everyone knew that was a real sign of success. Moriah didn’t give compliments often. Zeb was pouring the after-dinner coffee when Bryce said he had an announcement to make.
“Could I speak with you first?” Abby asked.
“All right. What did you want to tell me?”
She could think of no other way but to be bold. “I need to speak with you alone for a moment. Would you mind if Moriah took Pamela for a short walk?”
Everyone knew immediately that something important was about to happen.
“I want to stay,” Pamela said.
“I promise we’ll tell you everything when you get back,” Abby said. “No secrets. I just have some ideas I want to discuss with your father before I decide what to do.”
Pamela didn’t look happy at being sent away, but the promise of later disclosure served to mollify her somewhat.
“Miss Moriah and I will talk secrets,” she said, tossing her head in challenge.
“You have to tell me your secrets if I tell you mine,” Abby said.
“AD right, but they’d better be good.”
As soon as they left, Bryce took Abby in his arms and kissed her before she could stop him. Being unable to prevent the kiss, she saw no reason why she shouldn’t take an equal part in it. It was some moments before she and Bryce stepped back from each other.
“That’s what I want to talk to you about,” Abby said.
Bryce laughed. “You want me to kiss you again?”
“No.” Abby stepped back. “I don’t want you to move until I’ve finished.”
A frown crossed Bryce’s face. “What’s happened? Did that lawyer come back? I gave orders—”
“No, he didn’t come back. I know we haven’t talked since we got back from visiting the ranches, but—”
“I was going to tell everyone after dinner.”
“That’s why I wanted to talk to you. We made no promises and no decisions. I think it’s best that we leave it that way.”
“What are you talking about? I love you. I want to—”
“Are you sure? Couldn’t it be just that you and I have been thrown together in a situation foreign to both of us? You became involved because of my ignorance. You’re a young man, healthy, attractive. I’m one of only two women available. If you’d had hundreds to choose from, would you have ever noticed me?”
“Are you trying to say you don’t love me?”
She ought to. That was what she’d planned to do, but she couldn’t make herself say the words. She wasn’t any good at lying.
“I should have told you about St. Louis before now, but I had no idea your interest in me was more than a desire to be helpful. If I’d ever believed there was any chance of a stronger attachment, I’d have told you, and you’d have known any relationship between us is impossible.”
“You said the police never had any charges against you. I know you could never be a party to an embezzlement.”
“I could be lying. You told me people came West to get away from their past mistakes. How do you know I’m not doing exactly that?”
“You could never lie. You’re much too concerned with the welfare of other people. That’s part of the reason you’re so upset about this beef contract. You’re worried about the Indians.”
“Then you can understand why I can’t marry you. I know you haven’t asked me and maybe didn’t intend to, but I couldn’t in any case.”
Bryce’s smile of amused concern vanished, to be replaced by a look she hadn’t seen before. It was a look of steely determination that would brook no opposition. “Who’s been talking to you? What did they say? If it was Sarah’s mother, I’ll—”
“No one said anything. I’ve known all along I wasn’t suited for a society life in Philadelphia or politics in Washington, D.C. I would have told you so if I’d had any notion what would happen.”
“You could have told me two nights ago.”
“Why? You told me you loved me. You didn’t ask me to marry you.”
“You knew that was what I meant”
“I hoped, but I didn’t know.”
“If you hoped, then why—”
“I wouldn’t be the first woman to hope for what I couldn’t have. Maybe I thought I could learn the rules of society, even learn how to meet famous and powerful people without stammering.”
“You can do anything you put your mind to. You’ve proved that.”
“But once that lawyer said I was wanted for embezzlement in St. Louis, I knew any future for us together was impossible. Having a wife suspected of a crime would ruin your career.”
“But you weren’t charged.”
“That won’t make any difference. I was investigated. The only reason I wasn’t arrested is that they couldn’t find any evidence against me. People think I was involved, that at least I knew what Albert was doing and approved of it.”
“But you told him you’d turn him in if he didn’t return the money.”
“If I’d been the one to turn him in, they might have believed me. When I didn’t, it was only my word against his.”
“I don’t care about that.”
“I do. I won’t be responsible for ruining your career.”
“I can quit the army, not go into politics.”
“No! This is what you’ve wanted all your life. Zeb told me you got notice of your promotion today, that you can leave as soon as you like. You said Sarah’s father wanted to see if he could handle his own command, so you’ve got someone to take over until the army finds someone to replace you. There’s no reason for you to wait. You and Pamela can leave tomorrow.”
“I love you, Abby Pierce. I want to marry you.”
“You think you do. Maybe you really do,” she said, when he began to protest, “but you’ve been stuck out here with no one to look at but me. After nearly three years, any unattached female would look good. You don’t know how you’ll feel once you’re back in Philadelphia.”
“I know enough not to tell a woman I love her unless I’m sure. No matter where I go, my feelings for you won’t change.”
“I hope they will,” Abby said. She took a big bream. “You have to go back East without me.”
Chapter Twenty-four
Bryce couldn’t understand how Abby could think he would change his mind. He’d accepted her explanation without question because he knew she wasn’t a thief. He wasn’t a fool. He knew such a thing might cause trouble sometime in the future, but he wasn’t about to let Abby suffer for something she didn’t do. Leaving without her was out of the question. He wanted everyone in Philadelphia, especially his mother, to know right from the start that he had a woman he loved and intended to marry. No political marriage for him. He wanted love, and this time he knew he’d got it right.
He took her in his arms despite her resistance. “I’m not leaving Fort Lookout without you. I’d like for us to be married in Philadelphia with all my family and friends gathered around, but where it happens isn’t important.”
“It’s much too soon to make decisions like that. We haven’t talked about any of this. We’ve only known for two days that we care for each other.”
“Days an
d hours don’t matter. Even if I’d only known for a minute, I’d be just as certain as I am now.” He didn’t understand her hesitation.
“I can’t be sure of my mind quite as quickly,” Abby said. “There’s a lot to consider. Your career, your family, Pamela—”
“Pamela loves you. She’ll be ecstatic when I tell her.”
“You can’t tell her.”
“Why not?”
“Because I haven’t made up my mind what I want to do yet.”
“It sounds as if you’re saying you don’t love me.”
“Saying I love you when we’re alone in a tent is one thing. Saying I love you with the whole world watching, is another. Maybe you’re sure of yourself, but I’m not sure I want to be a social or political wife.” She struggled to break his embrace, but he wouldn’t release her.
“You don’t have to.”
“Then there’s your family to consider. I’m not what they wanted.”
“They’ll love you.”
“No, they won’t, and you know it. But it’s not just your family, your career, or my uncertainties. I’ve got to figure out what to do about the store and my debts.”
“I’ll pay them for you.”
“I won’t let you do that. Moriah would never agree, either.”
“Have you asked her?”
“I don’t have to. She hasn’t wanted me to accept your help from the beginning.”
Bryce realized he was handling the situation very badly. He had been in a position of command for so long, he had a tendency to forget that not everyone had to do what he wanted. He had to listen to what Abby said. Afterward he could figure out how to solve the problem. He released her. “All right. Tell me what you want to do.”
Abby backed away, looking relieved, not nearly so desperate.
“First, you ought to leave without me. You need to have time to decide what you want to do with your life. Maybe you want to make some changes in your plans, maybe you don’t, but you need to decide without any outside pressure.”
“What will you do while you wait?”
“Save the store.”
“How do you plan to do that?”
“I’ve got to pay off my debts. Those people don’t care whether I committed a crime as long as they get their money. I’ll have it if I can deliver the beef to the reservation one more time.”
“How are you going to do that when no rancher is willing to make the drive?”
“I only know one way.” She hesitated. “I have to buy the beef and deliver it myself.”
Bryce’s first reaction was to tell her she was crazy and forbid her even to think of such a solution, but he’d learned that forbidding Abby to do one thing could cause her to do something even more foolhardy. He’d protected her so well, she didn’t fully realize the extent of the danger she could be in.
“Do you have enough money?”
“If I bargain well.”
“Do you have a crew?”
“I plan to ask Orman, Hobie, and Larson.”
He’d been against her hiring those rowdies to freight her merchandise from Denver, but he had to admit they’d been well-behaved since they went to work for Abby. Obviously she had seen something in them he hadn’t, but that didn’t mean he was comfortable leaving her alone with them for a couple of nights.
“You don’t have a herd.”
“Parker will sell to me. He told me when we were there. He just doesn’t want to expose his hands to unnecessary danger.”
“But you don’t mind exposing yourself.”
“You told me Western men are very respectful of a good woman.”
Abby had obviously thought everything through and come up with what she considered was one solution to all their problems.
“This has all come up too fast for either one of us to have had sufficient time to think about it. I know you believe you have a solution, but surely with time we can think of something less dangerous.”
“But it solves everything.”
“Except what to do about the beef contract next month.”
“I can do the same thing.”
“That sounds like a good idea, but why don’t you wait a few days to give us time to see if we can find another solution? The beef isn’t due on the reservation yet.” Abby looked stubborn, so he didn’t push it any further. “Come here,” he said, holding his hand out to her. “At least we don’t have to keep our love a secret from ourselves.”
She seemed reluctant, started to say something, but Moriah and Pamela chose that moment to return.
“Miss Moriah and I have two secrets,” Pamela announced proudly. “Which one do you want to hear first?”
Two nights later Abby waited under the porch until the guard Bryce had posted passed her in his circuit of the trading post. Bryce thought he’d talked her out of buying the herd and delivering it herself, but it was the only solution that wouldn’t require her becoming even more indebted to him. She was certain if he lent her the money to pay off her creditors, he’d cancel the loan when he got to Philadelphia. She had to forget him. Owing him a debt of gratitude of such magnitude would make that impossible.
Actually, it would be impossible to forget him under any circumstances.
How did you forget the only man you’d ever truly loved? It was impossible when he was also the most handsome, the finest, the most honorable man you knew. It was impossible when you believed he loved you. It was impossible when you loved him enough to give him up. But mere was no point in going over all that again.
Bryce told her it was crazy to think of trying to deliver the herd herself. Dorrie told her the same thing. Moriah refused to discuss it, but no one had come up with a better idea, though Bryce had spent most of last evening proposing and discarding several possibilities. This was the only one that could work. Maybe after this he would realize she was much too independent, much too strong-minded to be his wife. Maybe he would be relieved to go back to Philadelphia without her.
The guard disappeared around the corner. Moving quickly, she picked up her skirts and ran along the edge of the fort until she was around the wall and out in the open. She breathed a sigh of relief when she saw the men waiting for her.
“I still wish you hadn’t told the colonel what we was doing,” Orman said. “He don’t like it when people goes against his orders.”
“I’m the one going against his orders, not you,” Abby said.
“That’s as may be, but it’s us that will end up with our necks in a noose if anything happens to you.”
“Nothing’s going to happen. That’s why you’re here,” Abby said. “Now stop complaining and help me into the saddle.”
“I don’t like you being out here with us,” Larson said. “People will talk.”
“They’re going to talk about me in any case, so you let me worry about it. You concentrate on getting the beef to the Indians.”
“I don’t know why you’re so worried about them Indians,” Orman said. “They gets along just fine by themselves.”
“No one leaves them alone anymore,” Abby said, “but I can’t pretend my primary concern is the Indians. I need the money the Indian agent will pay me to settle my credit debts before I can buy anything else for the store. Now let’s not talk anymore. I want to be at the Parker ranch by dawn.”
They made the ride in near silence. Orman and Larson rode on either side of Abby, with Hobie bringing up the rear. They reached the ranch just as Parker and his hands were getting up from the breakfast table.
“I told you I wasn’t driving a herd to them Indians,” Parker said when he saw Abby.
“I’m not asking you to drive a herd anywhere,” Abby said. “I want to buy fifty head from you. I’ll take responsibility for getting them to the reservation.”
“Does the colonel know about this?” Parker asked.
“Yes.”
“And what did he say?”
“He told me not to do it,” Abby said, “but he doesn’t have the authority t
o keep me from conducting any business I choose as long as it’s not at the fort.”
“I expect he’ll come after you.”
“He doesn’t know I’ve left. I need fifty of your fattest steers. I’m willing to pay seven dollars a head for them.”
“I wouldn’t sell them for less than ten.”
“I don’t have five hundred dollars.”
“Then I’ll sell them to the miners. They’ll pay me eight.”
“If someone else doesn’t beat you to it.”
“Okay, nine dollars.”
“Seven.”
“Nine.”
“I’ll pay you cash.”
“When?”
“Now. I’ve got it with me.”
“How about eight dollars?”
“How soon can you round them up?”
“I can have them ready by noon.”
“If you have them ready for us to drive by noon, I’ll pay you eight dollars. Any later and it’s seven.”
Parker’s gaze hardened. “Are you sure you mean to do this?” He looked at the men with her. “These men ain’t cowhands.”
“You get the steers here by noon and let me worry about everything else.”
Parker grinned slowly. “You’re one stubborn lady.”
“I don’t see anyone trying to spoil me,” Abby shot back.
“I don’t think anybody’d dare. Mount up, you lazy sons-a-bitches!” Parker shouted to his hands. “The lady wants her beef ready to roll by noon. Tell your men to lend a hand. They might learn a few things that will help them on the trip. You can visit with the wife while we’re gone. Ask her to pack a few things that’d be easy to cook over an open fire.”
Abby passed an uneventful morning listening to Mrs. Parker complain about the difficulties of ranch life. She thought the western plains offered no comparison to her parents’ home in Michigan, but she admitted her husband was much happier.
“Give a man space to roam about unhindered and he doesn’t want for more as long as he’s got a full stomach and a soft bed to sleep in. My husband didn’t like working for anybody else. Couldn’t go back to it now.”
The Independent Bride Page 29