Anastasia's Grail

by Mary Pearson

does this man feel about work around the house—chores and child care and the day in and day out of making a house run. Does he value this type of work? Does he realize how hard it is, or will he be putting you down if you put your family first?” Her mother took her glasses off and faced Stacy. She spoke frankly. “These are just some things I want you to keep in mind. I promise, they will be of vital importance to you later.”

  The next day there was another red rose for Stacy. Darius tried to talk her into missing work at the bakery again. Her family wouldn’t care if she did, he coerced, but Stacy knew better. Missing work was one of the things on their list. She firmly refused, so he said he’d pick her up afterwards. They needed to talk.

  They did need to talk. Stacy realized she really didn’t know Darius all that well. She was pretty sure from what they had experienced together that Darius had expensive tastes. Was this to a fault, though? She didn’t know.

  It seemed like he liked Reecie—or did Reecie like him…? Stacy had never seen him around animals. This was something to pay attention to.

  As far as that went, she didn’t know how he felt about having a family. Did he even want kids? If so, would he help with them? Would he support her if she needed to be a stay-at-home mother? Suddenly Stacy felt overwhelmed. Never mind Darius. Was she even ready to think about all of these things?

  Stacy looked up from the textbook she was studying during lunch. “So, how’s it going with Arthur?” She spoke hesitantly, unsure if she wanted her friend’s answer.

  Libby sighed and looked at her, paused, smiled and said, “It’s going.” She offered no details, though.

  Stacy let this sink in. “Good,” she finally said. But she felt a slight spike of jealousy. What was wrong with her? Arthur was like her brother. For goodness sake, was she going to be this possessive with Ezekiel, too?

  Then again, maybe she was feeling jealous because she knew Libby’s guy passed the test. She knew that Arthur was a perfect candidate for marriage according to the standards her mother and grandmother had laid out. She was harboring serious doubts about Libby, though. Stacy doubted that Libby was even looking for a life partner. She didn’t deserve to strike gold. She was probably just looking for someone to kill time with. Briefly Stacy considered the horrible possibility that she would use Arthur, then dump him when she got tired of him. It would be Stacy’s fault.

  Arthur could handle himself. Stacy was sure he was mature enough not to get sucked into a situation that wasn’t good. But what if she was wrong? It would be so tragic. She bit her lip and tried to go back to her book.

  Darius picked Stacy up after her shift in the bread store. This time he brought sandwiches from a drive-through and they ate them when he got to his apartment. After they had finished, he sank back into the couch and breathed out. “Things are gonna change around here pretty quick.” Stacy had never seen him look so anxious. “My brother joined the marines. He’s leaving the beginning of March.” Darius slid up next to Stacy and took her hand in his. “I’m so glad I’ll have you.” He leaned his head on her shoulder. “How soon can we do this wedding thing?”

  “I don’t know.” Stacy tried to hide her sudden panic. “We’re not even out of high school yet,” she hedged.

  “I know,” Darius gently ran his finger tips from her shoulder blade to her hip, then pulled her in tight. “I need you,” he whispered in her ear.

  Stacy tried to slow her pounding heart. “I don’t even know how it works—getting married. I have to ask Father or someone… “ Definitely not her mother or grandmother. They’d throw a hissy fit.

  “Well, can you get on that?” Darius kissed her persuasively. “We need to get this thing moving. As far as that goes, if you ever change your mind about living with me, or even if you just need a place to stay for a night, I’m open to that. You know you’re always welcome here—especially after my brother leaves. I’ll be pretty lonely.” He held her even more tightly.

  With an effort, Stacy pushed herself away from him. There were some issues she needed to resolve before she could abandon herself to this line of thought. “Darius,” she batted at his somewhat invasive hands, “we need to talk.”

  He pouted coyly, giving her the sad puppy dog look.

  Stacy tried to ignore it and pressed on. “If we can please talk seriously for one moment, we need to discuss some things.”

  Darius erased the pout and gave his best polite but serious look. It was an improvement.

  Stacy began rather awkwardly. “Do you like animals?”

  Darius grinned mischievously. “Of course,” he said. “Didn’t we just have burgers?”

  Stacy frowned at him. “I mean as pets, and such.”

  Darius shrugged. “I can take them or leave them,” he said. “I don’t mind little dogs or kittens. I guess I haven’t had all that much experience with them. Why? Is having a pet vital to your happiness, or something?” He pulled her close again and whispered, “Because I am dedicated to the task of making you happy in any way I can.” He kissed her softly. “If you want a pet, we’ll have a pet.”

  Stacy cleared her throat. “It’s not that I want to have one. I just need to know who you are, what are your goals…? Do we believe the same…? Are we headed in the same direction…?”

  “Well, I know one thing.” Now Darius was all-business. “I’m headed for success, and nothing’s gonna stop me. That’s why I want you by my side. You’re level-headed and confident and smart, not to mention beautiful. You have success written all over you. As far as the rest goes, I’m a reasonable man…”

  “OK,” Stacy went for a biggy, “how do you feel about having a family? Do you like kids?”

  Darius hedged a bit here. “Kids are fine when the time is right,” he said. Then, at her look, he quickly added, “Even you have to agree that you can’t bring a child into the world unless you can reasonably provide for it.”

  What he said did seem reasonable. “When they do come, would you be a hands-on dad?” Stacy asked. “Would you play with him, and change him and hold him when he’s sick.”

  Darius blinked and his cheek twitched a bit. “Of course,” he said, looking down. “If I had a child, I would do whatever I could to be a good father.” Now his face took on a wistful look. “I wish my father had done more with my brother and me. He was so busy trying to make money, we hardly saw him.”

  Stacy took his hands in hers. “You can be the father you wish you would have had for your children.”

  But he firmly pulled his hands from hers. “I’m not ready to be that father yet,” then, at her look, he said, “maybe in ten years.”

  When Stacy awoke the next morning it was bitterly cold. The temperatures had plunged to well below zero overnight and the weather forecaster didn’t see any respite coming for awhile. There was an AM delivery for the bread shop and sometimes Stacy was needed to bring the supplies downstairs. As luck would have it, her help was needed this morning to unload. She bundled in layers, quickly ate some toast and coffee and joined Ezekiel and her mother across the street. The driver was still unloading hundred pound sacks onto the sidewalk in front of the building. They took refuge just inside the building until he was finished. Then Granny inspected the delivery to make sure she had received everything she ordered and paid him. When she was done, Zeke propped open the door. The contrast between the warm air inside and the cold air outside made it so you could see the air where the two extremes collided, shimmering like a pool of water. Stacy was fascinated by this. It was so cool to be able to actually see for a moment something that was generally invisible. She knew air existed, but she took it for granted. Being able to glimpse air reminded her of the Shroud—an impossible image of the historical but improbable truth that God had once walked the earth as a man. It was hard to pull herself away when they needed her to start hauling.

  Another rose from Darius this morning—this time with an invitation to the Valentine’s dance at the school. This one wasn’t formal. Stacy could probably borrow another dr
ess from her mother, which was good. With all this talk about marriage she had begun to see the need to save money. Her Christmas money was still untouched and she had been able to save a few weeks’ paychecks, so she was starting a little nest egg. She told Darius this and he seemed to approve. Libby was also excited about the dance, to which she was planning to bring Arthur. Stacy inwardly winced when she said he would make good ‘arm candy’. For some reason, she dreaded seeing the two of them together on a date. It was tolerable when she knew they were going out, so long as she wasn’t witnessing it first hand.

  Stacy was unsure why it bothered her so much to think about Libby with Arthur. She was also unsure why the thought of actually marrying Darius petrified her, even though she really wanted him. She needed to take some time to mull things over. Maybe she could make some time for that. Maybe tonight after the rosary…

  “I’ll take your adoration hour tonight, Mom.” Stacy placed a carefully shaped loaf in the first slot of the industrial bread pan, which holds four. “That way you and Grammy can take a break and avoid this bitter cold.”

  Her mother looked up with concern. “That’s very nice of you, but what if your car stalls and you get stranded?”

  “What if it stalls for you…? You know there’s a phone in the bathroom attached to the chapel.