She looked away from him.
“It’s okay, Erika. I understand why you can’t just live in the moment. You have a daughter to think of.”
When she met his gaze again, he felt their connection, the bond that had been developing. He also felt the heat of desire between the two of them that never seemed to abate. This wasn’t the place to have this discussion, yet maybe this was better than somewhere private. Somewhere private they might give in to the desire and forget the logic. Out here they were thinking about the consequences, and that was a good thing. Maybe later, when he was in his bed alone, he’d convince himself of that.
Erika’s cell phone sounded from within her purse. She looked torn.
He felt torn. “Go ahead and take it.”
She dipped her hand into her purse and pulled out her phone. “It’s Grant,” she murmured, and said hello.
Dillon heard her side of the conversation and he guessed what it was about. When she closed her phone she said, “I have to meet Grant inside with the manager of the arena. We have a few loose ends to tie up. I was really hoping…hoping we could talk more.”
Talking was really the last thing Dillon wanted to do. “I’ll go back to the resort. After you’re finished with Grant—I’ll understand if you just want to go home to Emilia.”
Erika’s eyes were huge and shiny and he didn’t want to prolong this for either of them.
Suddenly she stepped close to him, kissed him lightly on the lips, then turned and went back inside.
He took one look at the yawning darkness inside the lobby. She disappeared into it. Then he strode to his car, trying not to feel anything.
Traffic was heavy for Thunder Canyon, with everyone leaving the arena parking lot at the same time. Dillon found a back way to the resort and followed the line of locals that knew it, too. At the lodge he saw folks heading toward resort restaurants to enjoy after-concert suppers. He wasn’t hungry. All he could think about was the conflicted look in Erika’s eyes.
Tonight was supposed to have been different from all the nights he’d spent alone since his divorce. Different from the emptiness ever since he’d lost Toby. Dillon supposed a crowded elevator was better than one only holding three or four people who wanted to talk. He got lost in the back, heard guests’ conversations about how great Zane Gunther’s concert had been. Deep down he agreed, and thought Zane’s new CD was going to be a hit.
Movin’ on from the past. Movin’ on from then till now. Movin’ on from the heartache into the sunshine.
Finally he was in the elevator alone. He inserted the key for the penthouse floor and the elevator went up another level. He got out, went to his suite and closed the door behind him. Why hadn’t he just acted as if the song hadn’t affected him? Why hadn’t he just put his arm around Erika and kissed her?
Because that wouldn’t have been honest.
In his bedroom he stripped off his clothes, stepped into a pair of sleeping shorts and didn’t bother with a shirt.
His cell phone chimed, and seeing Zane’s number in the caller ID, he answered it. Zane asked, “What did you think?”
“I think you turned me inside out.”
There was a pause. “I didn’t mean to do that. I meant to give you a kick in the butt. And if you let everything simmer down, it might just be the kick you need.”
“If we weren’t such good friends, I might boycott your CD.”
Zane laughed. “Yeah, well, maybe in the next lifetime, because we are good friends.”
“Are you back on the road?”
“Yes, indeed. The bus is rollin’ along. We’re headed to Denver. You know how it is, one concert after another.”
“But you wouldn’t have it any other way.”
“No, I wouldn’t. The boys are callin’ to me. I’d better go see what they want.”
“Take care, Zane.”
“You, too. I’ll see you when I see you.”
Dillon set his phone on the charger on the dresser. He was still staring at the phone, remembering the evening, remembering Zane’s song when he heard a noise at his door. He went into the living room and heard the knocking. Dr. Babchek, maybe? No, he would have simply called if something was wrong.
Dillon swung the door open and saw Erika. Nothing could have surprised him more. “I didn’t expect to see you again tonight.”
Her gaze fell to his shoulders, to the hair down his chest, to the waistband of his shorts. “I know, but—I had to come. Are you going to invite me in?”
He wanted to—but then he stopped himself from hoping. What if she’d just come here to talk?
When he stepped away from the door, Erika came into the room. He wanted to take her into his arms and haul her into bed. “Why did you come?” he asked, his voice a bit hoarse.
“Because I thought you might…need me.”
He needed her, all right. He was getting hotter by the minute with that need.
“Kiss me, Dillon,” she murmured.
She only had to say it once.
He took her into his arms and kissed her with all the turmoil and confusion and desire that had been building in him all evening. The intensity of it didn’t make her back off. Instead, she wound her arms tighter around his neck, responded to every thrust of his tongue, pressed against him with the same hunger he felt. A sudden urgency to feel skin on skin seemed to drive them both. He lifted her into his arms and carried her into his bedroom.
When he set her beside the bed, he reached for the buttons on her dress as she tucked her hands beneath the waistband of his shorts. Her tiny gold buttons eluded his fingers and he swore. She helped him with them, and in no time at all, her clothes were on the floor next to his shorts. He covered her breasts with his hands, reverently admiring her.
She moaned and then asked in a low voice, “Do you have condoms?”
“A whole box of them,” he replied with a smile as his hands slipped lower, almost circled her small waist and then settled on her hips. He kissed her again, pressing her to him so she’d understand the rawness of his hunger and the depth of his need. When she wove her fingers into his hair, she was so tight against him he could feel the beating of her heart.
Seconds later they were in his big bed, touching and caressing and breathing hard. They had known only a hint of intimacy in the deserted cabin. Now they were discovering the real thing. He caressed her body everywhere, wanting to know it as intimately as his own. She seemed to want to do the same. The stroke of her hands brought him so much sensual pleasure he didn’t know how long he could hold on. She splayed her hands across his chest, slid them around him to his back, stroked and teased and tempted as he was doing to her.
Knowing they were both near their limit, Dillon reached for the box of condoms, found one and let her roll it on. When he slid his fingers between her thighs, she opened to him, and at the same time, took him in her hands. He groaned as she stroked him.
He whispered into her neck, “I won’t be able to last if you keep that up.”
“Maybe I don’t want you to last. I need you, Dillon, just as much as you need me.”
He leaned away from her and saw that basic truth in her eyes. There seemed to be complete honesty between them, and he’d never felt connected to a woman like this in his entire life.
“I’m ready, Dillon. I want you now.”
He rose above her, not thinking or analyzing or debating with himself about anything. Pleasure was what they both sought. If it was an escape, so be it. If it was more, he’d deal with that tomorrow.
When he entered her, he sunk in with the craziest sensation that he was coming home. His thrusts had her gripping his shoulders. Their skin glistened from the excitement they aroused in each other. He couldn’t hold back the hunger he needed to be fulfilled.
Erika urged him on with her moans, her sighs, her gasps of pleasure. They weren’t two people any longer. They were one—on the same journey, headed for the same mountaintop. He watched Erika, saw the glistening haze of desire i
n her eyes, saw her cheeks flush, felt her hands hold him tight as if she never wanted to let go. Their bodies rocked together, seeking the mutual explosion. When it came, they not only found the mountaintop…they found each other.
When Erika awakened, the sun wasn’t up yet. Last night she and Dillon had shared something so magnificent she knew she’d never forget their lovemaking. But now she had to go back to her house because Emilia was waiting. She had responsibilities and a daughter to think of. And although she knew she was in love with Dillon Traub, she also knew their time together was running out. Their bodies spooned together, his arm around her waist. She felt protected and safe in his arms—she felt loved. But the feeling couldn’t last, could it? Had last night been an escape for him away from his past? Or was she really important to him?
She began to slip from his arms but his grip held her in place. “Where are you going?”
“I have to go home.”
“It’s early.”
“I don’t want Emilia to wake up without me and worry.”
“She’s two.”
“She’ll know I’m not there and wonder why, even at two.”
Dillon took his arm away and let Erika scoot on her back so they could look at each other.
“Do you have regrets about last night?” he asked, maybe expecting her to.
Erika shook her head. “No. Do you?”
“No. But last night was intense in a lot of ways and I want to know what you’re thinking.”
She was thinking she was absolutely, wonderfully in love with him. But she couldn’t tell him that. She couldn’t take that final risk. Not without knowing what his plans were. Not without knowing if they had a future.
“What now?” she whispered, feeling much too vulnerable. “I saw all the feelings rise up in you when you heard Zane’s song. You were thinking about your wife and Toby and the life you once had. You were thinking about a son you’d never see again.”
“Don’t.” His voice was strained…almost harsh.
“That’s the problem, Dillon. You haven’t wanted to think about it. But you have to if we’re going to have anything. I have a daughter. If this is just an affair and we’ll have another week of pleasure before you leave, so be it. Last night that’s what I accepted. But if on the other hand we want to somehow be part of each other’s lives, I have to wonder how Emilia will fit in. Can you look at her with joy? Or can you only look at her remembering Toby and feel regret?”
When Dillon was silent, that was an answer in itself. She moved away from him and sat up.
“Everything just doesn’t fall into place because last night was great!” he concluded.
“No, I suppose not,” she said with a sigh, wishing it had fallen into place for him as it had for her. Loving a man wasn’t something she’d thought she’d ever let herself do again.
The quiet emptiness of the suite seemed to surround them as she slid her legs over the side of the bed.
Dillon hiked himself up and clasped her arm. “Erika, do you still want me to come to Emilia’s birthday party later?”
“If you want to be there.”
“I do.”
“Will Dr. Babchek still cover for you?”
“I don’t think he’ll mind covering another few hours for me. He told me he’s really enjoying room service, especially when he doesn’t have to pay the bill.”
“I hope Allaire and Shandie, Dax and D.J. don’t mind being cramped. My place isn’t really big.”
“You forget they’re just everyday people.”
“I guess I do,” she admitted. Dillon sat beside her on the edge of the bed, ran his hand through her hair and turned her face toward his. Then he kissed her, trying to make the rest of the world go away.
The problem was that the sun was shining in the windows now and Erika knew she had to face her world exactly the way it was.
Erika was nervous. Not so much about Emilia’s party. Everyone was already sipping punch and eating. Emilia was playing with the other children and having a great time.
No, she was nervous about seeing Dillon again. After he’d had time to think about last night, what would he feel?
In the kitchen, setting paper plates and plastic forks on the table beside the huge cake decorated with Winnie the Pooh, Erika felt a tug on her elbow. She turned and saw Holly.
“Hi, there,” she said enthusiastically, giving Holly a hug. “I’m glad you could come.”
“I wouldn’t have missed it. You’ve got a great crowd here. Everyone seems to be mingling nicely.” She hesitated. “Do you have a minute to talk?”
Erika and her mother had made sure the dining room table was full of food. “Sure. What do you need?”
“I need some advice.”
Erika hadn’t taken a good look at Holly since August. Now as she studied her, she could see something was different, though she couldn’t put her finger on what. Ever since Holly had come home from college she’d worn flowing tunic tops. That seemed a little odd to Erika since she knew Holly had a wonderful figure. Sure, some of the time she could go with the hippie look, but all the time?
“Advice about what?” Erika asked, both curious and wary.
“On being a single mom.”
“Oh, Holly. You’re pregnant?”
Holly’s eyes glistened with unshed tears. She pulled at her loose blouse. “Six months along. No one knows. I’ve been able to hide it with these clothes, but not for much longer. Please don’t tell anyone.”
“Of course I won’t,” Erika promised, lowering her voice. “Who’s the dad?”
“A guy from school. I thought I’d found my Prince Charming, but he…he’s taking an appointment overseas, and he doesn’t care about me or the baby. At least I don’t think he does. Unless he changes his mind and shows up ready to be a dad. The thing is, I like the idea of being a mom. I just don’t know how I’m going to do it.”
“Have you told your father?”
“Gosh, no.”
“I don’t think you’re going to be able to wait much longer.”
“I know. But I have to figure out what I’m going to do first.”
“What you need to do is hold your head up high and carry your baby with pride.”
“That’s what you did, isn’t it?”
“I tried to. You have to decide what you want and live your life on your own terms.” She gave Holly’s arm a squeeze. “And remember, you have friends. I’m here if you need to talk or if you need anything else.”
After Erika gave Holly another hug she saw Erin in the doorway. “Come on in,” she said.
“I didn’t want to interrupt.”
“You’re not,” Holly assured her. “We’re all finished with girl talk for now.” Holly picked up a tray of hors d’oeuvres on the counter. “I’ll take this into the dining room.”
Erin came over to the table. “I just wanted to let you know Dillon arrived. But he said he’s going to bring Emilia’s birthday present around back.”
“What did he bring?”
“I don’t know. But I think if he really does have brothers, I’d like to meet them.”
There was a quick, sharp rap at the back door. Erika hurried to open it, and when she did she had to laugh. “What is this?”
Dillon was holding a brown-and-tan plush horse that was about three times taller than Emilia.
“She can ride it,” he said proudly. “It also neighs. But you might not want to push that button. She could be afraid of it.”
“And why are you bringing it in the back?”
“I didn’t want it to be the center of attention. I thought we could give it to Emilia after everyone leaves.” He set the horse by the table.
Erika shook her head. “Uh-uh. It’s your gift to Emilia. You deserve to give it to her during her party. You know she’s going to love it. Go ahead and take it in.”
At the counter, Erin picked up a bag of chips. “I’ll refill the basket and try to make room for the horse,” she said with a sly w
ink.
Dillon and Erika both laughed, looked at each other, then went quiet. Dillon peered around her and saw no one was coming their way. He pulled her over toward the corner at the pantry closet, away from the guests’ view. “I have something for you, too.”
“What?” She was genuinely puzzled.
He took a light blue velvet box from his pocket and opened it.
“Oh, Dillon! It’s beautiful.” It was a gold locket with a diamond set in the center. “I can’t accept this.”
“Yes, you can,” he said, taking it from the box and slipping it around her neck. He fastened it in the back then turned her into his arms. “I wanted to give you something to commemorate being together last night. You can put a picture of Emilia inside.”
Erika wasn’t sure what to do. She wanted to remember last night forever—but she didn’t know if this was a beginning or an end. Did he want to give her this present so she’d remember him when he left? Did he want to give her a gift simply because he liked her? He had money. He could give gifts. Did they always mean something special?
“Dillon, when would I wear it? It’s so pretty. I wouldn’t want to lose it at work.”
“This is a necklace you can wear whenever you want. It has a nice heavy catch and the chain’s a solid gold rope. I’d like to think of you wearing it all the time.”
Her fingertips touched it. When she looked into his eyes, she believed he cared. She believed he cared a lot. Her arms circled his neck. “Thank you.”
His arms circled her waist and he brought her close. “You’re welcome.”
His kiss was slow and sexy and she wanted to drag him upstairs to her bed. But this was her daughter’s birthday party and right now, that was more important than her being with Dillon. She thought about the little boy he’d lost, his regrets and his guilt. Maybe she and Emilia could help to heal all of that.
Breaking the kiss she lowered her hands to his chest. “Let’s give Emilia her horse and see what she says.”
Moments later they were making their way into the living room, into the midst of people gathered there.
Emilia saw Dillon and ran to him.
He set the horse down in front of her. “Happy birthday, little one. What do you think of this?”
From Doctor...to Daddy Page 16