by Jin Yong
Choking, Zhou Zhiruo said, "I have done so many wrong things, I can only blame myself, why would I blame you?”
Zhang Wuji gently stroked her shoulder and said in a tender voice, "In this world, mistakes arise out of circumstances. Things are difficult to anticipate. You must not be excessively heartbroken.”
"Wuji Gege,” Zhou Zhiruo raised her head to look at him, "I have something I want to ask you, I want you to answer me sincerely, you must not have the slightest degree of concealment.”
"All right,” Zhang Wuji said, "I will not conceal anything from you.”
Zhou Zhiruo said, "I know on this world there are four women who love you with all their hearts. One has gone away to Persia, Xiao Zhao. One is Miss Zhao, the other is ... she ...” She was going to say ‘Miss Yin’, but she did not have the courage to utter that name out of her mouth. After pausing for a moment, she continued, "If all four of us all alive and well, and right now we are by your side, which one of us do you really love?”
Zhang Wuji felt a burst of confusion rising in his heart. "This ... mm ... this ...” he stuttered.
Even since that day, when he was on the boat floating aimlessly on the ocean with Zhou Zhiruo, Zhao Min, Yin Li and Xiao Zhao, certainly more than once he had thought about this matter. "Each of these four women loves me very much, what should I do? No matter which one I marry, I will deeply hurt the other three’s hearts. But in the end, in the deepest part of my heart, which one do I really love?”
Since it had always been difficult for him to decide, he told himself to just evade the question altogether. Sometimes he thought, "The Tatars are not driven out yet, our country [orig. ‘he shan’ -river and mountain] is not being recovered yet, the barbarians [orig. ‘xiong nu’ - a general term for nomadic people] are not destroyed yet; how can I build a family? In the end, what reason do I have for having sons and daughters?”
Another times he thought, "I am the Jiaozhu of the Ming Cult. Anything I say, goes. I am responsible for the prosperity and decline of not only our Cult, but the Wulin world as sell. I am confident that in all my life, I had done nothing to be ashamed of. Yet, if I let myself indulged in female charms, not only I will invite the ridicule of the heroes of the world, I will also spoil our Cult’s reputation.”
Yet another time he thought, "Just before she died, my Mama earnestly exhorted me that beautiful women are most capable of deceiving people, warned me to be extremely careful all of my life.
How can I not heed Mama’s last words to me?”
Actually, arguing every way he liked, in the end he was no more than deceiving himself. Deciding which young woman he loved most would not necessarily hinder the great undertaking of recovering his country. It would not in any way affect Ming Cult’s reputation. He only thought that this one was very nice, that one was also good, and thus he did not dare to think about them too much. His martial art skill might be strong, but his natural disposition was actually indecisive; all things considered, he preferred to let nature take its own course. When forced to make decision, he would rather sacrifice his own desire than disagree with other people’s wishes. Take the Qian Kun Da Nuo Yi, for example. He trained it because of Xiao Zhao’s encouragement. By right, he had held the authority to become the Cult Leader of the Ming Cult; yet he needed Yin Tianzheng, Yin Yewang and the others to push him before he agreed to them. His engagement with Zhou Zhiruo was because he was honoring Xie Xun’s request. He did not bow to the Heaven and the Earth with Zhou Zhiruo because Zhao Min compelled him. That day, if Jin Hua Popo and Yin Li did not use force, but persuaded him nicely to come with them to the Lingshe Island, he would most likely go with them.
Every once in a while, though, he could not help but think, "If I can spend the rest of my life with these four women, living together harmoniously, won’t I have a happy and carefree live?” After all, it was the end of the Yuan Dynasty; whether it was a scholar, a merchant, a Jianghu warrior or an outlaw, it was not uncommon for a man to have three wives and four concubines. On the contrary it was extremely rare for a man to have only one wife. It was just that the Ming Cult originated from Persia, where the followers were encouraged to live a frugal and hard-working life, so that taking a concubine in addition to a single wife was unusual.
Zhang Wuji was a mild-natured man. He had this idea that no matter which girl he married, it was to his greatest good fortune. Supposing he took more than one wife, he felt he would be unfair to the other. Consequently, as this thought keep flashing in and out of his head, he always tried to suppress it. Whenever he remembered it, he would immediately rebuke himself, "One must always be content with whatever one has; yet I always indulge in this kind of thought. Won’t that mean I am a despicable man? Shame on me!”
Later on, Xiao Zhao went to Persia, Yin Li died, and supposedly, Zhao Min was the one who murdered her. Logically speaking, the only option left for him was to marry Zhou Zhiruo. However, through some unexpected mishaps, some bizarre twists and turns, the truth was gradually being revealed. Zhou Zhiruo and Zhao Min switched places as the good and the evil. He felt so fortunate for not marrying Zhou Zhiruo and thus cast his blunder in stone. In addition, the fact that Zhao Min broke her relationship with her father and brother was publicly known; therefore, he should not have any difficulty in making up his mind, should he? Against all his thoughts and expectations, Zhao Min suddenly disappeared without telling him anything; and right now Zhou Zhiruo was forcing him into a corner with her question.
Seeing him hesitate without answering, Zhou Zhiruo said, "My question is hypothetical, of course. Xiao Zhao has become the Persian Ming Cult’s virgin Cult Leader, I have ... have killed Miss Yin. Out of these four women, Miss Zhao is your only choice. I just want to know, supposing that all four of us are alive and well, we are all by your side, then what would you do?”
"Zhiruo,” Zhang Wuji finally said, "This matter has been burdening my heart for too long. Obviously, it was very difficult for me to make up my mind, until today ... I know now who my true love is.”
"Who is it?” Zhou Zhiruo asked, "Is it ... is it Miss Zhao?”
"That’s right,” Zhang Wuji replied, "Today, when I looked for her and could not find her, I wish I was dead. If I henceforth cannot see her again, I do not wish to live longer. When Xiao Zhao left me, I was extremely heart-broken. When my Biaomei died, I was even more grieved. You ... you came back like this, I was not only pained, but feeling deep regret as well. But, Zhiruo, I won’t lie to you, if for the rest of my life I cannot see Miss Zhao anymore, I’d rather die. This is my deepest feeling, which I have never made known to anybody else.” At first, all four women: Yin Li, Zhou Zhiruo,
Xiao Zhao and Zhao Min were equal in Zhang Wuji’s eyes. But as Zhao Min walked away from him today, he suddenly realized Zhao Min’s true place in his heart; she was not on the same position as the other three women.
As Zhou Zhiruo heard him say so, she quietly said, "That day at Dadu, I saw you go to that small wine shop to meet her, I knew exactly where your heart really was. It was just wishful thinking in my heart; if you and I get married perhaps ... perhaps I can pull you back to love me. In all honesty ... really ... I know that is of course impossible.”
Zhang Wuji said apologetically, "Zhiruo, toward you, I have always had respect. Toward Yin Jia Biaomei [younger female cousin of Yin family], my heart will always be grateful. Toward Xiao Zhao,
I have always had a soft spot in my heart for her. But toward Miss Zhao, actually ... actually I have
an engraved-in-my-heart-carved-in-my-bones kind of love.”
"Engraved-in-my-heart-carved-in-my-bones kind of love, engraved-in-my-heart-carved-in-my-bones kind of love,” Zhou Zhiruo muttered. After pausing a moment, she said in low voice, "Wuji Gege ... my love to you is also engraved-in-my-heart-carved-in-my-bones kind of love. Don’t you ... don’t you know it?”
Zhang Wuji was extremely touched; grabbing her hand, he said in a tender voice, "Zhiruo, I know. What I do not know is how am I going to
repay you for your great love in my lifetime. I . I really have wronged you.”
"You have not wronged me; you have always treated me very well, do you think I do not know it?” Zhou Zhiruo said. "Let me ask you this: Supposing Miss Zhao this time left you and not came back, you would not see her again forever; supposing she was killed by a wicked man, supposing she had a change of heart toward you, then you . what would you do?”
Zhang Wuji’s heart had been grieving for too long. As he heard her say those words, he could not bear it anymore. His dam broke and with a choking voice he said, "I ... I don’t know! Whatever happens; to the heavens above or to the earth below, I must find her.”
Zhou Zhiruo sighed and said, "She won’t have a change of heart toward you. If you really want to find her; nothing could be easier.”
Zhang Wuji was both surprised and delighted. "Where is she?” he stood up and said, "Zhiruo, tell me, quick!”
Zhou Zhiruo’s pair of beautiful eyes stared at Zhang Wuji intently; seeing his face was wild with joy, she said softly, "You have never shown this kind of emotion toward me. If you want to find Miss Zhao, you must agree to do something for me. Otherwise, you can forget of finding her, ever.”
"What do you want me to do?” Zhang Wuji asked.
"I have not thought about it yet,” Zhou Zhiruo said, "Later, when I think of it, I will let you know. I can promise you that this matter will not violate the way of chivalry; it will not hinder the great undertaking of recovering our country, and will not damage your name as well as the Ming Cult’s reputation. Only, it won’t necessarily be easy to do.”
Zhang Wuji’s expression went blank. He thought, "Min Mei has also asked me to do three things for her; she has also said that it won’t violate the way of chivalry and so on, but so far, I have done only two things for her, and those two things were really not easy to manage. Why does Zhiruo have to copy her?”
"Whether you want to do it or not, it is entirely up to you,” Zhou Zhiruo said, "But a real man is as good as his word. If you agree, you simply cannot shrink back at the last moment.”
Zhang Wuji hesitantly said, "You said that this matter will not violate the way of chivalry; it will not hinder the great undertaking of recovering our country, and will not damage my name as well as the Ming Cult’s reputation?”
"That’s right!” Zhou Zhiruo replied.
"Very well,” Zhang Wuji said, "If it indeed will not violate the way of chivalry and will not damage the great undertaking of recovering our country, then I give you my promise now.”
"Let’s strike our palms to seal the deal,” Zhou Zhiruo said. Extending her arm, she was ready to strike his palm.
Zhang Wuji understood that as soon as he struck her palm, he would place himself under extremely heavy shackles. Outwardly, this Miss Zhou was gentle, soft, and polite; but her mind was shrewd, her actions cruel. She was not the least bit inferior to Zhao Min. Therefore, as he raised his palm, he did not immediately strike her palm.
Zhou Zhiruo smiled and said, "As soon as you give me your word, I am going to tell you, and you will meet your beloved very soon.”
Zhang Wuji’s chest boiled up. He no longer had any regard for anything else and struck Zhou Zhiruo’s palm three times.
Zhou Zhiruo laughed and said, "Look who’s here.” She reached down to pull and open up the bushes behind her. There it was, behind the clump of leaves sat a young woman whose face appeared smiling yet she was not exactly smiling, and who was she if not Zhao Min?
Surprised and delighted, Zhang Wuji loudly called out, "Min Mei!”
"Ah!” suddenly, from several ‘zhang’s behind him, he heard a female voice exclaimed, as if that woman could not restrain from being shocked when she saw Zhao Min appeared in the flesh. The voice was actually very soft, but Zhang Wuji was able to hear her clearly.
Zhang Wuji was staring blankly for a moment, loss in countless thoughts going through his mind. Slowly he reached out to pull Zhao Min up. When their palms met, he felt Zhao Min’s palm was rather stiff. Immediately he realized that when she left without telling anybody during the day, and then he looked for her everywhere without finding her, she was actually captured by Zhou Zhiruo. Her acupoint was sealed and she was hidden in here. Zhou Zhiruo then intentionally led him and said all those words in this place so that Zhao Min could hear him. If he could not bear to see Zhou Zhiruo sad and spoke thoughtless flattery to her, if his words were full of feeling to her, even acting passionately toward her, then he would fall into her scheme. If that happened, Zhao Min would have left without any question. As he thought about this, he could not help but groan secretly, "Shame on me!” while his back was wet with cold sweats.
Checking Zhao Min’s pulse, he found out that her ‘chi’ and blood were flowing normally, so she did not sustain any injury. Under the moonlight he saw her forehead and the corner of her eyes bore a happy expression; she looked so cute and flirtatious. He believed she heard everything he had just talked with Zhou Zhiruo. Although her body could not move and her mouth could not say anything, her ears could hear very well how he revealed the contents of his heart, that unexpectedly he loved her with engraved-in-his-heart-carved-in-his-bones kind of love. Zhao Min could hear the earnestness in his voice and she was ecstatic beyond her own control.
Zhou Zhiruo bent her waist and whispered something in Zhang Wuji’s ear. Zhang Wuji also replied in low voice. Suddenly Zhou Zhiruo shouted angrily, "Zhang Wuji, you really have no regard of me! Look carefully, after Miss Zhao is poisoned, do you think she can live?”
Zhang Wuji was shocked. "She ... she is poisoned?” he asked, "Did you poison her?” Stooping down to examine Zhao Min, he had just opened Zhao Min’s left eye when he felt his back go numb as the acupoint on his back was sealed.
"Aiyo!” Zhang Wuji cried out. His body swayed.
Zhou Zhiruo’s movements were as swift as the wind. With her delicate fingers full of strength, she quickly sealed five major acupoints on his left shoulder, the side of his lower back, and the center of his back. Zhang Wuji fell backwards. He saw a dark green flash as Zhou Zhiruo drew out her sword and pointed it toward his chest.
"You cannot run, you cannot hide,” she shouted sternly, "I am going to take your life today. Yin Li’s ghost is entangling me anyway. I will eventually get killed. I’d rather die together with you.” While saying that, she raised her sword high, ready to stab it down into Zhang Wuji’s chest.
Suddenly a female voice shouted from behind her, "Hold on! Zhou Zhiruo, Yin Li has not died yet!”
Turning her head around, Zhou Zhiruo saw a woman dressed in black dash from among the thick underbrush, with fingers extended to pierce her. Zhou Zhiruo leaned sideways to evade. The woman turned around. The moon shone its light on the side of her pretty face, albeit full of faint scars.
Zhang Wuji saw her clearly; she was none other than his cousin Yin Li, only the bumps on her face had faded. Although her face was crisscrossed with scars, the scars could not cover her beauty. She vaguely looked like the delicate and pretty young girl standing by Jin Hua Popo he met in the Butterfly Valley many years ago.
Zhou Zhiruo withdrew two steps backward, her left palm in front of her chest, the sword in her right hand was still pointing toward Zhang Wuji’s chest. "You move one step forward, my sword will kill him first,” she barked.
Yin Li did not dare to move, she anxiously said, "You ... have you not done enough wickedness already?”
"Are you a ghost or a human?” Zhou Zhiruo asked.
"Naturally I am a human,” Yin Li replied.
"Zhu’er!” suddenly Zhang Wuji cried out, sprang up and embraced Yin Li. "Zhu’er ...” he called out again, "You ... I miss you so much that it hurts!”
Yin Li shrieked as she was taken by surprise; she was unable to move because Zhang Wuji’s arms were wound around her.
Zhou Zhiruo giggled and said, "If we did not do this, you won’t want to come out.” Turning around, she unsealed Zhao Min’s acupoints and massaged her veins and
muscles.
Zhao Min had been under Zhou Zhiruo’s control for most of the day and was left alone after being thrown in here; she was seething with anger. Luckily, afterward she heard Zhang Wuji pouring out his heart, which turned her anger into joy. However, Yin Li’s sudden appearance had increased the countless loads she already bore in her mind. The old hatred had just gone away, new anxiety arose.
Yin Li angrily said, "What are you flattering and sweet talking to me for? Both Miss Zhao and Miss Zhou are here, watch your manners.”
"Humph,” Zhao Min sneered, "So he only needs to watch his manners when Miss Zhou and I are here?”
Zhang Wuji said, "I was overjoyed beyond words when I saw you arise from the dead. Biaomei, you . how are you?”
Yin Li pulled his hand and held his face toward the moon. After staring at him for half a day, suddenly she reached out to grab his left ear and twisted it forcefully.
"Aiyo!” Zhang Wuji cried out in pain, "Why did you do that?”
"You are one ugly freak deserving to be cut in thousand pieces!” Yin Li said, "You ... you buried me alive under the ground, you made me suffer countless pain.” While saying that, she punched his chest three times, ‘Bang! Bang! Bang!’
Zhang Wuji did not dare to protect himself with the Jiu Yang Shen Gong. He endured her three punches with a smile, saying, "Zhu’er, I really thought you were ... you were dead. I cried myself to exhaustion several times. You are not dead. That is wonderful. Laotianye [lit. ‘old master of the sky’ - Heaven, God] truly has eyes.”
"Laotianye has eyes alright, but you, this ugly freak, do not have eyes,” Yin Li angrily retorted, "You did not even know whether someone died or was still alive. I just can’t believe it. You hated my swollen ugly face; you simply buried me without waiting for my breathing to stop. You don’t have any conscience. You are a heartless and short-lived little rascal!”
As she constantly spitting up curses, her expression, voice and attitude were just like the Yin Li he knew. Zhang Wuji chuckled. Scratching his head, he said, "Your scolding is right on target. You are totally right. I was such a muddle-head; I saw your face was full of blood and you were not breathing, you heart was not beating. I thought you were beyond help ...”