“We’ll work as hard and as fast as we can. Your brother deserves to be found. It’s happened in many high-profile cases, there is no reason to think it can’t occur here.”
Jameson swallows hard. “Thanks, this has been the very definition of hell for me and my family.”
I’m clenching my teeth so hard they feel like they’re going to crack. I’ve been struggling not to add my two cents to the conversation. I want to stay out of the way. That doesn’t make it any easier not to speak up for both Jameson and William. I know they might feel like they are on two different teams, but we are all united in our mission to find Toby.
Jameson looks at me and asks, “Are you still mad at me? You’ve been quiet.”
“I never was mad at you,” I assure him. Then I add more with a grimace, “Okay, that’s not completely accurate. Some of your text messages were a little mean-spirited and over-the-top.”
Jameson blushes. “Yeah, I get lost in my thoughts and get riled up. I apologize for that.”
“I know that about you. I tried not to take it personally. I’m not saying anything because I want to be invisible in this case. My role here is to help your family deal with the whole process of having a missing child. I don’t want to interfere with the efforts of law enforcement agencies — here or down in Cottage Grove.”
“Are we clear here? If everyone’s had their Kumbaya moment — I seriously need to eat,” Will reminds us.
“I know this quaint little bakery that serves awesome deli sandwiches. Heather has a new line of soups this week. They are probably some of the best stuff I’ve ever tasted. That’s sayin’ a lot considering how well I eat, Tyler suggests with a grin.”
Jameson pats his stomach. “Oh, I know. Joy and Tiers is my food-jam. They know me so well now they prepare my order when they see my number. Your wife is one talented pastry chef.”
“Sounds good to me. Can we hit the road?”
“I know you too well, little brother. You just want to drive your fancy rental car.”
“It’s a true story — still, I’m starving,” William responds.
I stand up and shake Tyler’s hand. “Thank you for all your help with this. I know it’s been a rough couple of weeks. I hope it will all pay off in the end.”
CHAPTER 18
JAMESON
TYLER DOESN’T EVEN ASK ME if I want a pastry, he just hands the plate over his desk. Without hesitation, I grab a couple of cream puffs and pop them in my mouth. “All I can say is you are one lucky man. I don’t know what you did to deserve Heather, but you should thank your lucky stars.”
“Hey, you’re preaching to the choir. I don’t go to bed at night without thanking God for that woman. She saved my life.”
“Yeah? How so?”
“Before I met her, I was hiding from the ghosts of my past. I wasn’t dealing well with my PTSD. I was burying it under a facade that everything was fine. The stress was slowly killing me. Heather gave me permission to admit I couldn’t handle it all by myself and needed help.”
“You guys do seem like a powerful team. I’m glad she was there for you.”
“We are solid now. But it took us a while to get there. In the beginning, it seemed like we would be anything but partners.”
“Sounds like Kendall and me. Some days, we’re like mortal enemies.”
“Maybe so, but when it works between you, it really works. Love is worth fighting for.”
“I’m sure you didn’t bring me down here to give me relationship advice,” I comment as I take a drink of coffee and snatch another creampuff.
“You’re right. I didn’t. Our forensic teams have had a chance to go through the letters we received from you and Galen Eckhart. We have some questions that we thought you might be able to clarify.”
“You were able to get letters from Galen?”
Tyler pulls out an accordion file. “Fortunately, Galen was a meticulous record keeper. His mom couldn’t bear to part with his stuff, so she rented a storage locker and moved his whole house into it. Everything is pristine.”
I sag back against the vinyl chair in relief. “I hope there’s something of value in those files. I don’t know how much of a relationship Galen had with my brother. I only know what Will told us. Toby didn’t talk about it much, except for the one letter he wrote about the time Galen gave the virtual lesson to his classroom. As a budding paleontologist, he was over the moon about the fossil lesson.”
“Not hard to imagine. I don’t know many kids who aren’t excited by dinosaurs.”
I scrub my hand down my face as I absorb Tyler’s words. It’s so hard for me to hear my brother was not even thirteen when he disappeared. He was just a kid. He should have had his whole life ahead of him. Yet, he’s gone.
“Few kids were as thrilled about dinosaurs as my brother though. It’s not surprising he made friends with someone like Galen. He was obsessed with fossils.”
“Did Toby ever write letters to you about his online life?”
I shake my head. “No, I think he wanted to hide that part of his life from me. He probably figured I would tell Mom and Dad. Occasionally, we'd play video games together; but even, then he never let on that he had anything but average skills.”
“Did he ever talk about anyone named BadassAvenger?”
“Toby didn’t talk about his friends much. Other than a couple of neighborhood kids he grew up with, he didn’t hang out with very many kids. He said other kids thought he was weird. He once said he wished he could be a soldier like me so he could kick the bullies' butts.”
Tyler smirks. “I know more than a few guys who go into the military for that very reason.”
“Me too. Still, I feel awful that I missed the point. Maybe it wasn’t just a case of hero worship. What if he was trying to tell me something, and I missed the message? I mean, geez he created this whole other identity and didn’t even tell me. What kind of sucky brother does that make me?”
“A very typical one. Many teenagers these days have multiple identities that their families don’t even know about. There are whole apps designed just to fool family members and friends.”
“So, why did you want to know about this BadassAvenger?”
“Apparently, Galen was concerned about this particular screen name. He couldn't trace it, and he felt like this particular player had it in for Toby. Galen took enough notice to track their interactions.”
“He couldn’t just look up the IP address?”
“I guess not. I suppose there was shielding software involved.”
“That complicates things. Especially if your forensics folks have to go back and reconstruct the timeline dating back all those years.”
“I know. That’s why I hoped that Toby discussed his gaming habits with you and the screen name might ring some bells with you.”
I shake my head sadly. “No, he never talked about any of that stuff. His online activities are a huge mystery to me.”
“Well, the good news is your letters serve as corroboration of Will’s account of the timeline. Galen’s letters provide significantly more insight into your brother’s online activities. We may be able to establish more relationships from Galen’s records. It’s going to take some more time.”
“So, what you’re telling me is we’re in a holding pattern again? It seems like that’s all I do these days,” I grouse.
“I know it’s frustrating, but for the first time in years, we are making progress on your brother’s case. Something is better than nothing.”
“I know. But, it seems like we are moving at a snail’s pace.”
“We are moving. That’s something that hasn’t happened before. Do me a favor. Go take your girlfriend out on a date and thank her for giving you a shove in the right direction. It’s the least you can do.”
I think about Tyler’s words for a moment before I admit, “You know, you’re right. If it weren’t for Kendall, I’d still be trying to tackle this on my own, and none of this new information would�
�ve come to light. I think I’m going to take you up on your suggestion.”
“Hi beautiful,” I answer when Kendall picks up her phone and greets me.
“Oh, Lord! If you could only see me, you wouldn’t even remotely say that,” she responds with a laugh. “My ponytail hasn’t been straight in about three hours, and I spilled my tea on my shirt when I came in the door this morning. I haven’t even had time to fix it.”
“You’ll always be beautiful to me. You know that, right?”
“I know. I’m completely baffled every time you say things like that.”
“I called to ask you a question. I feel terrible that our last few dates have been completely low-key. I’d like to make it up to you. When can you take a couple days off in a row?”
Kendall lets out a whoosh of breath. “Are you conspiring with Colette? She told me the other day if I don’t take a break she’s going to put me on an involuntary sabbatical.”
“I guess great minds think alike. So, what do you say? Are you ready to be spoiled?”
Kendall moans. “Your offer is far too tempting. I can’t remember the last time I’ve taken time off for myself. I’ll call Colette and see if I can take a three-day weekend. I need to be back on Tuesday because I have a meeting with Bethany.”
“Sounds great. Just let me know what Colette says.”
Not five minutes later I receive a text message from Kendall. “Colette says to tell you that you’ve been elevated to hero status. I have her complete blessing. Plan away.”
“All I can say is you might want to bring a little of everything. Who knows what I have up my sleeve?”
“Oh wow! Are you going to tell me where we’re going?”
“Nope. This is your fantasy, stress-free adventure.” I text back.
“You have no idea how much trust it takes for me to hand over all that control to you.”
“I do understand. That’s why it means so much to me that you’re willing to do it. I won’t take it lightly, I promise.”
Kendall’s eyes widen as I pull up to Locate My Heart riding one of Denny’s restored motorcycles with an enclosed sidecar.
“No way! This is how we’re getting to our date? I have never seen anything so cool. It’s like we’ve gone back in time. There’s only one problem. I don’t know if my suitcase is going to fit,” Kendall says as she examines the motorcycle.
“You’d be surprised. You can cram a load of stuff in these hatches. We can rearrange stuff in the luggage if we need to.”
I take Kendall’s carry-on bag and stick it in the storage compartment. It’s a tight fit, but it works. “You ready to hit the road?” I ask as I hold out a motorcycle helmet for her.
Kendall does a little spin of happiness as she buckles the helmet. “I don’t even care where you take me, I’m just excited to go on the trip.”
“Don’t say that too soon, I’ve got some epic plans.”
“Normally, I’d demand to know each tiny detail, but I am just going to try to chill and take each adventure as it comes. I trust you to treat me right.”
“I hope this weekend exceeds your every expectation,” I respond as I check her helmet strap and give her a kiss before I help her into the sidecar.
My heart beats faster as I pull out of the parking lot toward I-5 South. Kendall isn’t the only person who needs a break from life. It’s been a long time since I’ve felt this much joy. There’s just something about spending time in the presence of someone who calms your soul to adjust your whole outlook. Kendall does that for me. It’s not something I ever anticipated — especially the way we began our relationship, but over time, Kendall has become a centering force in my life. I go to bed thinking about her. I wake up thinking about her. She puts a smile in my life.
As I weave in and out of traffic on the interstate, I relish the freedom. It’s been a long time since I’ve allowed myself the luxury of appreciating my surroundings. Since leaving the military, I have been putting out one fire after another and lurching between jobs. I am lucky to work at Identity Bank, but the constant travel is a grind. I hit the ground running, and I haven’t stopped since. I haven’t stayed this long in one place since I can remember.
My mom is beside herself with joy because I’ve been here to celebrate both my birthday and Christmas. Despite my parents joy at having me home, every Christmas without Toby is bittersweet because it was his favorite holiday. He and my dad would always work on the homemade train track they were building in the wood shop. It was always a tradition to add a new section to the elaborate village they’ve built in the corner of my dad’s shop. Since Toby’s disappearance, Dad can’t even bring himself to look in that direction. It remains buried under tarps. I can’t help but wonder if they’ll ever finish their project.
Kendall’s voice breaks through my sad memories as she speaks through the intercom system built into our helmets, “I forgot how cold the wind gets, I should’ve worn something a little warmer than jeans.”
I glance down at the sidecar. “There is a blanket rolled up at your feet. I can pull over if you can’t reach it.” I glance up at the exit sign. “I’ve got good news. We’ll be there in a few minutes, and you can get warmed up. I was expecting it to be a little warmer in March. I guess it’s been a while since I’ve been home in Oregon in early Spring. I apologize. I hope what I have planned will make it all worth it.”
“Now you tell me there’s a blanket! Why didn’t you say something earlier?”
“I should’ve. I’m sorry. I was just so excited about our adventure, I forgot abut it.”
“It’s okay. Now, I can guilt you into telling me where we’re going?” Kendall teases.
“Nope. That’s the whole definition of a surprise.”
“My teeth are chattering. I’m just saying this better be good — ”
Kendall runs her hand up the rich wood bedpost. “This is like something out of a fantasy. I’ve never seen anything like this. How did you find a castle in the middle of downtown Eugene? It has a four-poster bed! I could just sit and stare at this room all day. I’ve never seen a room with both a fireplace and a whirlpool tub. I guess you were right when you said I’d have an opportunity to warm myself up. I don’t even know where to start.”
“Am I off the hook for my misstep about the weather?” I ask as I hang our clothes in the closet.
“You are off the hook and so much more. I’ve always wanted to stay at a bed-and-breakfast as enchanting as this. Lyle and I were planning to stay in a quaint little place like this for our honeymoon. Quinn’s death changed everything.”
I get up from my seat, walk over and hug her from behind. “I’m so sorry,” I murmur against Kendall’s hair.
Kendall shrugs. “It’s actually all right. Lyle is content now and weirdly, I’m happy for him. Lyle and Pamela are very successful in real estate — just the way he always planned. He even has a couple of blonde-haired, blue-eyed kids complete with two well-behaved cocker spaniels. They are a postcard-perfect family. Sometimes I’m jealous of his ability just to pretend he never had another son.”
“Do you ever think about starting over again with your own family?”
Kendall leans her head back against my chest. She shrugs. “In the beginning, I was in a state of shock. Everything I viewed myself to be was gone. Suddenly, I wasn’t a mother, even though in my heart, Quinn was still there. I wasn’t a fiancé. I had to call off all my wedding plans.”
I wince. “That couldn’t have been easy.”
“It wasn’t. My friends didn’t know how to relate to me anymore. Even Will, who has always been just a heartbeat away, didn’t know how to help me. In a blink of an eye, the whole of who I was changed. I had to discover a new me — a stronger me. The thought of moving on to someone new never occurred to me. It seemed as if that part of my life was a closed chapter. Finding kids through Locate My Heart is my passion now. Every once in a while, I’ll give into some well-meaning friend who tries to set me up on a blind date, just to counte
ract the loneliness. Trust me, it can lead to comical results. The last guy was nice enough, but he was a tad obsessed with sculptures of naked women.”
“I hear you. I’ve been out with several interesting women myself.” I answer with a soft chuckle. I kiss the back of her neck. “How about we put away all this heavy talk and start our rest and relaxation out right? Why don’t you take a bath and see if you can get warmed up? Then we’ll grab some dinner. It’s my understanding that the food here is award-winning. If you wish, after dinner, we can take advantage of the fireplace. I heard the concierge downstairs tell another guest the inn has an extensive lending library if you’d like to borrow some books.”
“Wow, you sure know how to tempt a woman.”
“I just know the keys to your heart, and we are just getting started.”
Kendall nibbles on her French toast. Her lashes lower as she moans. "I don’t know how you’re going to get me home. I’m not going to fit into the sidecar, the way you’re feeding me. I’m still recovering from last night’s lobster ravioli.”
“What I have planned today will take care of some of our indulgence from yesterday.”
“Do tell?” Kendall challenges.
“Dress warmly and wear comfortable shoes,” I instruct with a wink. “Oh, and bring your camera.”
Kendall rolls her eyes at me. “You are such a tease. I can’t even get a straight answer from you.”
“I thought you found that to be one of my most charming traits. I always keep you on your toes, right?”
“Looked at in its most flattering light, I suppose that’s true. Otherwise, it drives me a bit nuts. I like things to be a tad more predictable.”
“See? We balance each other out well. I like to fly by the seat of my pants, and you keep me grounded.”
Kendall feeds me a couple of bites of her brioche French toast. “I can’t eat anymore. If I do, I will literally explode. Besides, I want to see what you have planned for us. I can’t believe I was so tired I fell asleep reading in front of the fireplace last night.”
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