by Emma Slate
It’s unnatural.
It’s not. It’s awesome.
Meredith and Christina’s relationship is unhealthy.
You’re judging their friendship? When we’ve got something really weird going on?
We—
“Poppy!”
Turning, I saw Francis approach. He held a blue plastic basket filled with tissue boxes and sports drinks.
“Hi,” he said, pulling on the straps of his backpack.
“Hey!” I smiled in the direction of his shopping container. “Interesting assortment you got there.”
He laughed. “Right? This isn’t even that weird for me. One time I bought toilet paper and—”
“So, how do you think you did on the test?” I interrupted.
“I think I did well. Thanks for studying with me.”
“Are you kidding? You guys saved my ass.” Francis and I had spent the last three nights in the library with a few of our other classmates cramming for the parasitology test we’d taken that morning.
“How do you think you did?” he asked.
“Actually, I think I did okay. I’m glad it’s over, though. Damn, that test was a doozy!”
“Right? Dr. Carrington is such a hard ass. I’m going out with John and Jacky to blow off steam and celebrate. You want to come?”
“I think I’ll stay…” I shook my head, and then realized it was always my first inclination to refuse, to hide. “You know what? A night out with you guys sounds like a lot of fun.”
“Awesome. We’re going to Frenchie’s around eight.”
“Love it.”
“Cool! Meet us at the Cistern at seven forty-five.”
The pharmacist called my name and held up my white prescription bag. I grabbed the medication and followed Francis toward the exit.
“Prescription, huh?” he asked. “You okay?”
“Oh, yeah. I just have some minor insomnia. The doctor at the school clinic wrote me something mild.”
“Uh, you’ve heard of pot, right?”
I laughed. “Yeah. Not into it.”
“Gotta do what works for ya.” He waved and then jogged off in the opposite direction. “See you tonight!”
Francis was awesome. We’d met as freshman in a biology lab, so we’d gone through a lot of science hell through the years. We weren’t close friends, more like acquaintances. His offer of friendship had always been there, but I’d never taken advantage of it before. I usually kept to myself, studied by alone. It was strange that I was changing. Strange that I was becoming someone I didn’t recognize.
Anita had been staying close to home, no doubt trying to keep an eye on me. She said she wasn’t, but she was a terrible liar. It was a relief when I walked into a quiet apartment.
Are you going to watch this episode with me? Thane asked.
No, I have some studying to do. Maybe later before I go out.
My, my, aren’t you becoming social lately.
I’m still a hermit. Now leave me alone so I can study.
An hour later, I stretched and yawned. I got up to make a pot of coffee. While I was in the kitchen, there was a knock on the front door. Frowning, I went to investigate and looked through the peephole.
Hunter stood on the porch, hands in his pockets.
I swallowed. He hadn’t bothered to text me an excuse—not even a weak one. He’d just been silent. I’d buried my hurt because I’d had other things to focus on, but it came rushing back when I saw him looking contrite.
Opening the door, I glared at him. “You’ve got a lot of nerve.”
He sighed, looking ashamed. “I know.”
“It’s been a week.”
“I can explain.”
“Give me your phone,” I demanded.
“Why?”
“You want a chance to explain? Give me your phone.”
He reached into his pocket and pulled out his cell. I grabbed mine and hit his name in my call list. A moment later, his phone rang.
“Huh, well isn’t that interesting? It works.” I slapped his cell against his chest. Volcanic rage blistered under my skin.
“Poppy, wait—”
“I’m so mad I could punch you!”
“Go ahead. I deserve it!”
“Damn it, Hunter—”
“I had a family emergency.”
I crossed my arms over my chest. “I’m not an idiot. If you didn’t want to follow through with the date, all you had to do was tell me. You didn’t need to ghost me.”
“I did want to take you on a date, I really did. I’m not lying about the family emergency.”
“Then why didn’t you call to tell me? I would’ve understood. I really thought we had something—”
“We do have something. I’m sorry, Poppy.”
“Is everything okay at home?”
“It’s…being managed.”
Whatever that meant.
He peered at me for a long moment, noticing that I hadn’t stepped aside to let him in, noticing that I wasn’t thawing. He swallowed and shoved his hands in his pockets. “Listen, I know it would be easier to let it go, to walk away. We don’t know each other that well, and I’ve already disappointed you. That kills me, Poppy.”
“Do you know how hard it is for me to let someone in?” I whispered. “Did you know I was ready to do that with you?”
“Then let me in. I’m here. I’m facing you.”
“I forgive you,” I intoned. “But I don’t think we should date.”
His smile dimmed. “Poppy, please—”
“Hunter, I have a lot of shit going on right now. I’m trying to focus on school and I just don’t have the mental reserves for anything else.”
Hunter’s shoulders slumped, but he nodded. “Okay.”
“I really do appreciate you coming here and talking to me. And I don’t want you to disappear on me again. Friends?” I asked tentatively.
“You mean it?”
I smiled, more sure of my decision. “Yeah, I mean it.”
He grinned back, looking relieved. “I’d like that.” He shook his head. “Huh.”
“What?”
“I don’t think I’ve ever had a female friend. This should be interesting.”
Chapter 16
I faced Thane. How do I look?
Beautiful.
I smiled. Sure, it was a compliment from a spider…or from a part of my fractured mind, but it made me happy nonetheless.
What do you want to watch tonight? I asked. Thane was caught up on Grey’s Anatomy and needed a new show.
The X-Files looks interesting.
I laughed out loud. That’s irony for ya.
I’m not an alien.
I mentally shrugged.
I wish you hadn’t painted over the drawing.
The wall that had once been covered in marker art was now an uneven swatch of off-white. I hadn’t paid attention to the actual shade of paint I was buying when I’d been at the hardware store.
I didn’t respond to Thane’s comment. It wasn’t art—it was a sign I was out of control, spiraling faster and faster as my mind hurtled toward insanity.
Maybe I should see a doctor.
You did see a doctor. He gave you sleeping pills. Besides, there’s nothing wrong with you.
I mentally snorted. I haven’t ruled out that you are a figment of my imagination.
I’m not having this discussion again.
Good, because I have to go. I don’t want to be late.
Do you have pepper spray?
Awww, Thane. Are you worried about me?
Yes. College boys are notoriously horny.
Thanks. I’ll keep that in mind. And yes, I bought pepper spray.
Thane sighed. Did I tell you that you’re beautiful?
You did.
Be safe, all right? Maybe check in with me every now and again? Otherwise I’ll worry.
Thane, I lived with my mother for eighteen years. I’m kind of done checking in with people.
Be nice to me or I won’t introduce you to Buffy. I severed our connection and turned on The X-Files for Thane. There was no point in getting into the middle of an argument just as I was about to go out and drink. My evening needed to be fun and light. Lectures from a spider didn’t count as fun and light.
The evening was bustling, and the temperature was changing. It was still cool but not miserable. I was excited to be social, doing something as normal as hanging out with friends, celebrating the end of a really hard school week. After Hunter and I had made amends, I was able to shove the rest of my worries aside for the night.
Francis and a few other classmates waited for me at the Cistern, the grassy lawn in the center of campus where commencement was held every year. Randolph Hall, the architectural staple that was on all the college brochures, glowed in the moonlight.
“Ah, you came!” Francis said with a grin. “I was afraid you were going to bail.”
“Why would I bail?” I asked, waving hello to John and Jacky. They were looking pretty cozy. I didn’t mind PDA so much, but was this a double date?
“Because you’re a known introvert,” Jacky said with a grin.
I looked at her. “Really? That’s what other people are saying about me?”
“Does that bother you?” Francis asked.
“No. It’s just interesting.”
“Let’s get going,” John said, tugging on Jacky’s hand. “I need a beer. Or five.”
“Oh, great. This’ll be a fun night,” Jacky teased. “You better not puke. I won’t be cleaning that up.”
While they playfully bickered, I fell into step with Francis. And because I was trying something new in life, I decided to be blunt. “Is this a double date?”
Francis threw back his head and laughed. “Oh my God, really?”
“Um. Ouch.”
“I’m gay, Poppy.”
“What? I so wasn’t getting that vibe from you!” I said, a relieved smile flitting across my face.
“Oh man, you were worried that I was gonna try to get into your pants, weren’t you?”
I laughed. “I’m not that arrogant. But the pressure is definitely off, don’t you think?”
Francis looped his arm through mine while we continued our trek to Market Street. John and Jacky had ceased fighting and were now wrapped around each other, kissing and attempting to walk at the same time. Beer would only make their PDA worse. They sort of reminded me of Anita and Jonah—in that cutesy phase of a relationship. I sighed. Would Hunter and I have ever been like that? Guess I would never know.
I shoved the disappointment away and focused on the night out. Looking around, I realized we weren’t in the hubbub of town, but off of the main drag. It was darker, quieter, and just a tad sinister.
“Aren’t we going to Frenchie’s? It’s back that way,” I said.
Francis smiled. “I found the coolest thing the other day. I wanna show you guys.”
We continued north into the part of Charleston that no one liked to remember existed. The houses were falling apart, drug deals happened on porch steps, and sheltered college students never ventured there.
“I hate this part of town,” Jacky grumbled. “Why are we here?”
“Trust me,” Francis replied. “It will be worth it. Here we go.”
We stopped in front of a dilapidated building on the brink of collapsing. Old wooden slats covered in chipped paint hung haphazardly across the door, condemning the structure.
While Jacky and John lamented about the state of disrepair and kept glancing over their shoulders expecting something to jump out and get them, my attention was on the wall that still stood erect. There was just enough light to make out the painting that took up the entire side.
It was the dark-haired man with dark eyes.
“Tell me that’s not bad ass,” Francis said, standing back, a proud grin on his face.
“Wow,” Jacky said. “That is really cool.”
I placed a hand against the wall to touch the painting. It felt alive. A tingle shot up my arm. Whipping my hand back, I curled my fingers into a fist. I met the painted eyes of the dark-haired man, swearing they twinkled in the bright street lamplight.
“How did you find this?” I asked, my voice sounding very far away.
Francis looked up at the wall. “I was walking around the city with my camera. Lo and behold…”
Had I done this?
I must have. And yet I had no recollection of sleepwalking. I hadn’t taken the sleeping pills yet. Maybe it was time to start.
Thane?
Poppy.
Help explain this. I sent him the mental picture of the painting. Did I do this?
Yes.
How? When?
A few days ago. You were sleepwalking.
Why didn’t you stop me!
“Poppy? Are you okay?” Francis asked, jarring me out of my conversation with Thane.
“Yeah,” I struggled to reply. “I’m just in awe. It’s amazing.”
“It’s not that amazing,” John rebutted.
“You can’t tell at the moment because it’s dark and there are shadows covering some of it, but in the light you can see the detail of the face, the eyes especially,” Francis explained. “Whoever did this captured an intensity that’s hard to explain. It’s stunning.”
“Great,” John dismissed. “Now can we head to Frenchie’s, please?”
I wasn’t ready to leave. I wanted to stay and sink into the emotion threatening to pull me under.
“Will you send me the photos you took of the painting?” I asked Francis.
“Sure. Come on, we better go. John isn’t gonna wait for us.”
Fifteen minutes later, we were at the bar. And instead of drinking beer, I went straight for the liquor. I ordered a rum and Coke and then took my drink to the table Francis had commandeered for us.
They talked about classes and Spring Break plans. I got lost in my drink and resumed the mental conversation I’d had with Thane.
You should’ve told me, I accused.
And said what? You’re already concerned about your mental health.
What about my physical health? That part of town is dangerous in daylight. Not to mention at night when you’re sleepwalking.
You were safe.
How?
He refused to answer. Typical Thane.
I don’t believe you. And I don’t trust you.
I slammed up a mental wall, cutting off all communication.
Terror engulfed me. What could’ve happened to me? I shivered and tried not to think about it.
Maybe those sleeping pills I’d gotten to ease Anita’s fears weren’t such a rotten idea.
Chapter 17
The world was a kaleidoscope of colors, a cacophony of sounds. Blood roared in my ears and fire blazed under my skin. I was melting from the inside out. My feet were unsteady, my legs liquid. Swaying, I knocked into a table, upsetting a tray of empty glasses.
Hands shoved me and I fell to the ground. My head smacked against the floor, rattling my teeth.
I laughed but nothing was funny.
Pain pierced my skin.
I couldn’t see anything but dark shadows, and I briefly wondered if my glasses were still on my face.
Hold on, Poppy!
“Thane,” I whispered, not sure if I spoke aloud or to the being in my mind. Real or imaginary, he couldn’t save me. I was on my own. Always on my own.
Someone lifted me and I was pressed against a solid, warm chest. Scents were familiar but I couldn’t place them, not in my current state. Like grass and sun in the air.
“I’m here, Poppy,” a voice said.
“Thane?” I asked again.
There was no reply.
Suddenly, I could breathe easier. I gulped fresh air, feeling like a dying fish on land.
I opened my eyes and saw the blurry outline of a blond stubbly jaw. Reaching up, I traced
a cheek.
“Poppy,” he growled.
“Hunter?”
“I’ve got you. I’ve got you now.”
“How?” I wondered aloud. “How did you get to me?”
There was no answer as I tumbled into blackness.
My body hurt. No. Not hurt. Hurt was tame. My bones felt bruised, my muscles jelly. Every part of me was in pain. Even the end of my nose that was all cartilage.
I cracked an eye to see Hunter asleep in a chair next to the bed. Not my bed. His.
I didn’t know the time, but judging by the light filtering through the blinds it was early day. Mid-morning at the latest.
I liked the idea of moving, but putting it into practice was another story. Hunter’s eyes opened and our gazes locked.
“Poppy,” he whispered, leaping from his chair to the side of the bed.
“Ow. Everywhere.”
My throat was parched, and my voice sounded like I’d eaten a handful of dried leaves.
“I know. A hot bath will help.”
Before I could say anything, he was up and out of the room. I closed my eyes and dozed for the time he was gone. Hearing him opening a dresser drawer, I woke up again but didn’t bother trying to move my body.
I wanted to ask him questions, but my tongue refused to form words.
He eased back the covers and reached under me. Lifting me into his arms, he brought me to his chest and carried me to the bathroom.
My neck wouldn’t support the weight of my head, so I leaned against him.
The bathroom was clean and steamy. He set me down on the toilet and when he was sure I wouldn’t topple over, released me.
I moved my arm—or tried to. It refused.
“Help?” he asked gruffly.
“Yes.” It came out as a hiss.
I’d gone out last night in a blue sweater and jeans. I’d woken up in a T-shirt. Didn’t take a genius to realize Hunter had been the one to undress me. There was no room for embarrassment, not when my limbs refused to cooperate.
He eased me out of the tee but didn’t make a move toward my underwear. When it was clear I still wasn’t able to stand on my own, he helped me up and into the tub.
Hunter sighed. “This is so not how I wanted to get you naked the first time.”