by Emma Slate
I waited for the rage to hit me—I expected it—but I realized what Thane had done. He’d tried to protect me, carrying the burden himself, keeping it from me.
“He remembered,” I whispered. “He had all his memories of me—of us. And in the end, he still sacrificed himself for me. I don’t know what I did to earn his devotion, but it was so…” I searched for the words. “Selfless.”
“Hunter had the purest heart of anyone I’ve ever known,” Thane admitted. “I never wanted this for him. You do know that, don’t you?”
I nodded. “I’ll carry his death with me forever. But I love you, Thane. I chose you.”
I’d chosen him many times already, and I’d do it again if I had to in the coming years. But that was the kicker. We’d have years.
I didn’t tell him about the Queen Beyond the Veil. That I kept for myself.
“Tell me what it was like,” I said, echoing back his earlier words. “Tell me what it was like to kill your own brother.”
“Just as you will carry Hunter’s death with you, I’ll carry Xan’s.” He looked away, trying to compose himself.
“You didn’t want to kill him.”
“Of course not.” His tone was bleak, devastated. “I wish there had been another way. But the power and the magic corrupted him. By the end, he wasn’t the Xan I knew from our childhood. I couldn’t even detect who he used to be. That man was gone completely.”
Another goblet appeared on the ledge, this time within Thane’s reach.
“Wine?” I asked.
He flashed a pained grin. “Something stronger.” He grasped the goblet and took a healthy swallow.
I took another sip of wine from my glass. “So here we are. Two conflicted immortals.”
“We’re both alive,” he pointed out. “And we stopped the war.”
“This war,” I pointed out. “There will be another. There’s always another.”
“So we’ll deal with it when we have to.”
“How are the gates of Heaven?” I asked.
“I don’t know. Gabriel will tend to it, I believe.”
“Has he been welcomed back with open arms?”
“Perhaps.”
I fell silent, lost for a moment in my own thoughts. “Why didn’t you battle each other in your beast forms?”
“We wouldn’t do that. It had to be brother against brother, fighting as men. That’s always been our way.”
I nodded thoughtfully. “A dragon burned Xan’s body. Why?”
“Dragon fire can scatter an immortal’s essence.”
“What does that mean?”
“I killed Xan.” He swallowed. “I killed his body. But his essence was still alive. If Lucifer or an evil mage had gotten his hands on Xan’s body, he could’ve been restored. Dragon fire removed his essence from the fabric of immortals.”
“He’s gone,” I whispered. “Forever?”
“Forever.”
I felt Thane’s grief like a knife to my belly. I set my goblet aside and then waded my way toward him. I cozied up onto his lap and rested my head on his shoulder.
Thane set his goblet down, and then his arms came around me. We held each other until we’d cried all our tears, and we were left with nothing but our breaths.
Chapter 47
Thane and I finished our drinks, and then we took time to bathe. I soaped his body and washed his hair. My hands lingered on his skin.
When it was my turn, I sat on his lap while the water gently swirled around us. His fingers grazed my stomach where I’d been sliced. “It’s hard to believe,” he murmured.
“I know.”
His hands strayed lower to slip between my legs. Before I knew it, I was caught up in the heat of us. Thane took my lips in a ravenous kiss as his fingers pushed inside me. Grasping his shoulders, I let out a gasp.
My release shot through me like a thousand sparklers. I collapsed against him and buried my face in the crook of his neck. I breathed in the smell of him. His skin was hot and damp, and I touched my tongue to the column of his throat.
“Poppy.” He grasped my head to pull me back so he could kiss me.
My bloodlust hadn’t been assuaged. If anything, Thane’s touches had only inflamed me more. I wondered if I’d be satisfied ever again or if I was doomed to insanity. Insanity for wanting him every hour of every day.
He lifted me up and gripped the back of my thighs, spreading me. I sank down onto him, and we both moaned. We nipped and kissed. We stroked and caressed. I rode him hard until we both came.
“Is this what life is going to be like now?” I wondered aloud, letting my eyes close as I nestled against the wall of his muscular chest. “Lust and guilt?”
His hand stroked down my back. “There are things that need our attention.”
“What things?”
Thane drew circles on my back. “The Titans are free.”
“Are they? I didn’t see them on the battlefield.”
“They didn’t join in the fight. They’re headed for Olympus… Zeus is about to have his hands full. Not to mention the Kingdom of Heaven will need to be rebuilt. There are a lot of souls there that don’t belong. I’ll have to spend a lot of time cleaning that up. Lucifer is licking his wounds, but that doesn’t mean he won’t try something again—and if I were him, I’d try it sooner rather than later.”
“Take advantage of all the commotion, you mean?”
“Exactly. He’s wily. That’s the way he thinks.” His hold on me tightened. “Poppy. I have to tell you something.”
I leaned back so I could peer into his eyes. They were still ringed with gold, and they flashed like mini solar flares. “What?”
His hands stroked up and down my sides to settle on the curve of my hips. “I begged you to come back to me. But I also”—he swallowed—“made a deal. I begged any deity that would listen, that had the power to spare your life to do it. And it turned out to be Lucifer who answered my plea.”
My eyes widened, and my mouth fell open.
“I asked him to keep you alive.”
“Thane,” I whispered. “Why? Why would you do that?” My hands scraped against the stubble on his cheeks.
“Because I waited so long for you. Now that we’ve found each other…”
I gently pressed my lips to his, but after a moment, Thane wrenched his mouth from mine.
“Lucifer can demand any payment at the moment of his choosing.”
Dread filled me, weighing me down like a cement anchor. “He can demand whatever he wants, when he wants?”
He nodded.
“Could he demand your life? For mine?”
“He could,” Thane said slowly. “Though that’s not his usual way.”
“What is his usual way?”
“Extracting the most pain from the most people.”
I swallowed.
“He wants what he can’t have. It’s why he starts wars with his brother.”
“Lucifer wants what he can’t have,” I murmured in repetition. “What will he take from us?
“There’s no way to know, Poppy,” Thane said gently. “So we worry about things we can control, and when the time comes…”
“When the time comes, we pray that Lucifer’s anger has diminished enough that he doesn’t completely destroy our lives.” I slid off his lap and headed for the steps. “Thank you.”
“For?”
“Making a deal with the devil for my life. I’m—I wasn’t ready. To leave you.”
“I don’t think you’ll ever be ready. I don’t think I’ll ever be ready. But prosperous times are ahead of us, and when war comes again, let us hope you become a better warrior.”
I reached for a towel on the edge of the bath and wrapped it around me. “Better warrior? I saved you.”
He snorted as he followed me, naked, back to our tent. The gossamer curtains reflected sunlight. “I guess we saved each other.”
My mouth curled up into a small smile. “Guess so.”
Thane leaned down to kiss me. “Hungry?”
I let the towel drop. “Famished.”
Chapter 48
The next morning, I stepped out of the tent at the edge of the battle encampment. The field already looked completely different from the day before. There were piles of burning demon corpses, and the green lawn was scorched in patches. Dragons flew overhead, every now and again letting loose a stream of fire to incinerate the ground. Wisps of smoke spiraled into the air and then disappeared.
I’d asked my spiders for clothes, and they’d woven me a pair of soft brown breeches and a loose-fitting shirt, very reminiscent of Queen Aisling’s outfit. But after days in the spider suit, it was nice to wear something different. Not that Thane had let me put on any clothes during the night.
I wasn’t complaining, despite the ache between my legs.
“Burning the fallen?” I asked, pulling the tent flap aside so Thane could join me outside.
He was still dressed like a warrior for battle, his sword sheathed at his side. “Yes. Burning the defeated. Those who fought on our side and fell will be taken back to their families and domains.”
I was silent, unsure of my role, unsure of what I was supposed to do. I never actually thought we’d win. I assumed Thane and I would die, and whatever state the world was left in, it would be up to those that remained to restore it.
Thane glanced down and smiled at my clear confusion. He wrapped an arm around my shoulder and pulled me into his side. Even though we still had privacy, he leaned down and whispered in my ear, “We get to live now, Poppy. As we were always supposed to.”
I leaned back to look up at him and raised an eyebrow. “Naked? Right? You want me naked? For like, days?”
“Years. Try years.”
I laughed. “We never did talk about any of the life plans we wanted.”
“What do you mean? Three point two children. Country house. That sort of thing?”
“Well, yeah. Then again, do immortals really have those kind of discussions?”
“We don’t need a country house,” he teased.
“And the three point two children?”
“You want to talk about this now?”
“As you pointed out, we’re not fighting for our lives. So yeah, Thane. I’d kind of like to talk about what our future is going to look like.”
“Wow.”
“What?”
He grinned. “You’re still you. Still the woman who likes to have all answers.”
“I’m no longer human. That doesn’t mean I got a personality transplant.”
Thane threw back his head and laughed. It carried across the battlefield to startle others. His joy brought tears to my eyes, and I tried to compose myself.
“Hey,” Thane said, gently grasping my shoulders to turn me to face him. “Why are you crying?”
I flung myself into his arms. “I never thought I’d get to hear your laugh again. I never thought I could be so happy, so grateful for being alive—and so unhappy at the same time.” I leaned back to look up at him, my cheeks stained with tears I no longer bothered to conceal. “I deserved to die, Thane. What I did to Hunter—”
“Poppy,” he said, his voice harsh. “Listen to me very carefully.” He pressed his forehead to mine. “I’d do it all again. Every single thing. And I don’t care if it’s selfish. Or that he was the better man. I get to love you. I killed my own brother. I’d gladly do it every day for the rest of eternity if it meant getting you. So you can mourn and feel guilty over the choices you made when it came to Hunter. But I’m going to remind you that you’re allowed to be happy.”
It would be so advantageous to believe his words. My heart grieved as much as it rejoiced. How was I supposed to move forward without coming to grips with what I’d done?
If only I could talk to Hunter. If only I could apologize. But what good what that do? It wouldn’t absolve me of my sins or alleviate the guilt.
Thane brushed the tears from my skin and then gripped my hand. “We should join the others.”
Auri was sitting by a campfire, talking to a man with silver hair. When she saw us, she shot up from her seat. Auri pulled me into a quick hug, startling a squeak out of me.
“How are you?” she asked.
“Fine,” I said automatically.
She threw me an amused look. “Just fine? After a night with this one?” She pointed to Thane who was pretending to look annoyed, but he quickly gave way to a smile.
“You overwhelm people, Auri.”
Auri waved her hand and rolled her eyes. She tugged on my arm and led me toward the man who was sitting on a log, his blue eyes following me. “Poppy, I’d like you to meet my brother, Argentum.”
Argentum rose and bowed slightly. “A pleasure.”
“Likewise,” I said, trying to register his show of respect.
“Don’t mind him. He’s always a bit formal.”
“And you’re not formal enough,” he chastised. “Would you like something to eat?” He gestured to the large black cauldron that hovered over the flames without being propped up by stakes. Magic cooking, apparently.
“Sure,” I said. “Thank you.” I took a seat on another log, and Thane sat next to me, cradling me close. I didn’t know if it was a show of affection or possession, but either way, I soaked it up.
“Where’s Gabriel?” Thane asked Auri. “I thought he’d be back by now to give us an update about Heaven.”
Auri took the wooden bowl from her brother and brought it to me. “He’ll be back soon.” She winked. “Trust me.”
Thane chuckled. “Like that, is it?”
Auri and the fallen angel had obviously spent a night together, but I thought it had been nothing more than a one-night stand. Maybe I was wrong.
“He can’t resist me,” Auri boasted. She handed Thane another bowl.
I downed a spoonful of the stew. It was rich and gamey. Exactly what I needed. “This is good. Thank you.”
“Thank my brother. He made it.”
Argentum laughed. “Because you can’t cook.”
“Oh, I can cook. I just choose not to.”
The wind shifted, and an unpleasant aroma hit my nose. I looked around, wondering where it was coming from.
“Demon ash,” Thane said quietly. “Smells rank.”
I attempted to breathe through my mouth, but even then, I tasted death at the back of my throat. I quickly set the bowl of stew aside, my appetite lost.
White puffy clouds rolled across the sky, and I saw a speck in the distance. I thought it might’ve been a large bird or maybe another dragon. It flew closer, and I immediately recognized the armored wings of Gabriel.
The fallen angel landed, and he looked pissed.
Chapter 49
Anger flashed across Gabriel’s face, and when he walked, the land trembled. I watched with curious eyes to see how the fallen angel was going to handle his temper. Because clearly someone—or something—had set him off.
I chanced a glance at Auri who looked excited by Gabriel’s rage.
Whatever. I so didn’t want to know.
But come to think of it, I’d heard no sounds from the night before. No noises of bloodlust passion, no forest animals.
“Was our tent soundproof?” I whispered to Thane.
He nodded, though he was distracted, his gaze on Gabriel. “What’s wrong?”
“Wrong?” Gabriel thundered. “I’ll tell you what’s wrong! Heaven is a fucking mess! Lux won’t let me help. He sent me back to you.”
“To me?” Thane raised his brows. “What makes him think I can use you?”
“He wants me to transport the souls to the bridge. To let them be weighed.”
“Slow down,” I said. “Explain—”
“Souls that never should’ve made it into Heaven are there now. Still causing trouble, even as Lux and his army of angels ferret them out. When they find the souls, they cage them. Lux wants me to take the souls and bring them to Thane.”
“
Who is the rightful Guardian of the Bridge, whose spiders can judge accordingly, and send them to their rightful afterlife.” I nodded. “Got it. Why are you mad?”
Gabriel growled. “Because Lux is using me as his errand boy.”
“They have their first wave ready, don’t they?” Thane asked. He stood and set his bowl and spoon on the log next to me where he’d been sitting.
“No rest for the wicked,” I muttered, standing too. “How do we get back to your domain? Can we teleport?”
Thane glanced down at me. “Teleport?” Amusement stamped across his mouth. “This isn’t Star Trek.”
My eyes widened. “Oh my God. You’re a Trekkie.”
“Am not.”
“Are too.”
“Look,” Gabriel snapped. “As much as I hate to break up your weird idea of foreplay, time is of the essence. We can’t rebuild Heaven until we clean house.”
“Heaven’s foyer is a wee bit crowded, then?” I snorted out a laugh even though Gabriel’s glare could split tree bark.
“It will take us a week to get home,” Thane announced.
“A week!” Gabriel yelled. “We don’t have a week.”
“I’m not taking Poppy through the Desert of the Forgotten again,” Thane said, his tone dark. “So we’re going around it.”
“That will take too long,” Gabriel complained.
“Do you have any other ideas?” Thane asked.
“I’ll fly Poppy and Thane to their domain,” Auri volunteered, not taking her gaze off Gabriel. “And then you and I can have—”
“Seriously, Auri,” Argentum snapped.
Auri shrugged and smirked.
“We need a mage to ward the entrance to Hell,” Thane stated.
“Where are we going to find a mage?” Auri demanded. “It’s not like any of them showed up to fight on either side. They just kept to themselves and let us battle it out.”
“You know that for a fact?” Thane asked. His voice seemed to rumble like oncoming thunder. “Because the mage Poppy released was trapped in magical binds. Others could still be held, too.”
“I don’t trust mages,” Argentum said, dropping his gaze from Thane’s.