The Spider Queen

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The Spider Queen Page 53

by Emma Slate


  “Fair point. But I am not welcome in Heaven. There are places even I can’t go.”

  I shook my head and turned my back on him, facing the firelight. Golden flames licked along the stone fireplace. “You can’t think it’s the same. You’re kept out. I’m kept in. And I don’t have a choice about being kept.”

  “I don’t have a choice either.”

  “You did,” I countered. “Once upon a time. At the dawning of the world, you had a choice. You could’ve been happy with your place. You didn’t have to demand more.”

  “Better to rule in Hell than serve in Heaven,” he spat. “And if you think I had a choice, then you’re wrong. I am my nature.”

  I whirled and glared. “You stole my life. Just because you could.”

  It was his turn to scowl. “I am Lucifer. I am the Prince of Darkness. You don’t get something for nothing.”

  I looked away from him to stare at the bed. It was mussed; the sheets were creased, and yet with the wave of his hand, the bed could be newly dressed.

  I closed my eyes, unable to face him but really unable to face myself. I’d never given into my own desires before. Until now. I’d taken what I wanted. I’d let yearning decide my path.

  Did I regret the days we’d spent together in bed? No. My body remembered him moving inside of me not even an hour ago. And yet, how would I feel if I hadn’t given in? If I’d withstood the temptation?

  “You want to make snow globes? Go for it. You want to ease the burdens of the demons and creatures that live here? Fine. I’m not stopping you from living your life. It doesn’t have to stop because you are bound to me.”

  “Just because you can’t see chains doesn’t mean they’re not there.”

  There was a flutter of air behind me and I turned, but he was already gone.

  He didn’t come back. I felt bereft, cold. I got dressed and took a seat by the fire. There was no reason for my feelings of betrayal and abandonment. His nature had asserted itself and to think he could be anything than what he was—an opportunist—then I was delusional.

  Just because he’d been tender with me did not mean he truly cared for me. He could’ve let me go. At a great cost to himself. But I was nothing more than a prize to be won, a commodity to be lorded over my parents. A token jewel kept in a treasured box.

  Now that I was alone, I had time to process. My life had been a whirlwind as of late. Taken by Lucifer, only to learn that the memories I carried were lies. When he removed the last trace of the magical concealing spell, I’d remembered my parents. They’d given me my freedom at a great cost to themselves. Now I realized how foolish I’d been. How childish.

  I thought of the Sibyl and her riddle of a prophecy. I thought of Jax the Gargoyle and wondered what knowledge he possessed. He’d been about to tell me something important, and then Lucifer had arrived.

  And like a stupid, foolish woman, I’d let my emotions—and hormones—get the best of me.

  There was nothing between us except lust. Right? I was chained to him. I was not in possession of my life or my own wishes, yet I didn’t regret going to bed with him. However, I did regret not being able to use it against him. I’d contemplated it and then shoved it away. I was not calculating. I would not use his desires against him. The same could not have been said for him.

  I looked toward the window. It had been days since I’d peered out into the sky. I pulled back the leather drape. It was dusk; the sky was painted red and gray. The clouds were angry.

  A ripple of pain shot through me.

  I whirled, expecting to see the owner of the agony, but I was still alone.

  Could it be? Did I feel him even when we were apart? I’d never experienced that before. Normally, I could only sense emotions when I was in close proximity to a living being.

  I gripped the edge of the window and called, “Lucifer!”

  The sky rumbled, but he didn’t come.

  I released the stone ledge and stepped away.

  How dare he leave me here! Up in the sky. Trapped. A cage in the clouds.

  If I jumped, would he rescue me this time? Or would he let me fall and hit the ground to let me suffer the pain of broken bones reconstructing themselves? I wouldn’t die. I was immortal. I knew that. It would take a lot more than a jump to end my life.

  I heard a knock on the heavy wooden door. Frowning, I went to answer it. I pulled open the door and there was Jax, leaning casually against the doorframe.

  “You’re here!”

  “I am,” he agreed.

  “How did—”

  “I’ve been watching. Waiting for him to leave.”

  I grinned. “My hero.”

  He arched a brow. “Yeah, I don’t believe that for a second.” He sniffed in my direction. “You smell like him.”

  Heat flamed my cheeks, but I forced my chin up. I had nothing to be ashamed of. “What does he smell like?”

  Jax’s eyes darkened. “Like twisted desire and eternal damnation.”

  I raised my wrist to my nose and inhaled. “Huh. I don’t get that at all.”

  He paused and then grinned. “Funny. Funny girl. Do you want to get out of here? Or are you waiting for him to return to ravish you.”

  “I pissed him off,” I muttered. “No doubt he’ll leave me alone for a week to stew.”

  “And hope for his return?”

  I bit my lip and refused to answer. I was captivated by Lucifer. Not just to the sex—which, though I had nothing to judge against—was probably the best sex anyone had ever had in the history of the world. A fallen angel known for sin? Yeah. He was good, all right. Better than good.

  But again, it wasn’t that, or it wasn’t just that. It was the way he held me after. The way he whispered against my hair. The way I felt his burdens ease when I placed my hand on his chest.

  I was addicted to Lucifer because I was addicted to how I made him feel.

  Lighter.

  And when he smiled…

  It felt like I’d truly won something.

  Jax rolled his eyes and held out his hand. “You do a damn lousy job of hiding your emotions.”

  “That’s odd, because I’m usually the one no one can read.”

  “Humans don’t pay attention.”

  “You were human,” I pointed out.

  “But I’m not anymore and haven’t been for centuries. Do you want to argue semantics or do you want to come with me?”

  Not allowing my nerves to get the best of me, I let Jax scoop me up into his arms. With the heavy flap of his stone wings, we flew into the sky, leaving my cage behind.

  Chapter 16

  The night was warm despite the mist of the storm clouds.

  “Does it always rain here?” I yelled over another groan of thunder.

  “Temperamental ruler, remember? And it hasn’t rained here in decades. It seems he’s been making up for lost time.”

  “That’s weird.”

  “He wasn’t here the last many years, Stella.”

  “Where was he?” I wondered.

  “Looking for you, of course.”

  I blinked in surprise. “Really?”

  He nodded. “Hell was surprisingly tranquil. Now that he’s back…well, it’s”—he grinned—“Hell.”

  I fell silent as I pondered Jax’s words. Lucifer had been looking for me. Was that because of the debt he was owed or—

  I cut off that train of thought immediately. I meant nothing to him. I was a means of passing the time, of getting his rocks off, all the while using me to ease the pain inside of him.

  “Why did you do it?” Jax asked, his gray eyes staring straight ahead. Not that he needed to watch where he was flying—there were no birds or other flying creatures that were out. Not that I could see, anyway.

  “You think you have the right to ask me that?”

  “We’re friends, are we not?”

  I was so incredibly lonely. Herron wasn’t here and she would’ve been the only one I would’ve wanted to talk to about it
. About him. I gulped in sorrow, thinking about her and what I’d been forced to leave behind. It hadn’t been much, but it had been mine.

  “You won’t judge me?” I asked finally.

  “No, I won’t judge. There’s no rottenness in you.”

  “No?”

  He shook his head. “You may not be human, but you yearn for all the same things they do. Companionship, friendship, the desire to be loved.”

  “That’s not why I slept with him,” I blurted it out.

  “Really?” He sounded like he didn’t believe me.

  “I did it because—well—this is going to sound weird. I’ve never, not once, felt an inkling of desire. Not until him. Lucifer…he makes me feel emotions I’ve never had before. I don’t know if they’re real, or if he is manipulating me, but…” I trailed off, still unsure how I felt about the entire thing. Sure, I was raw and vulnerable. My walls were down. But when I closed my eyes, I saw him there. Glorious and nude. His eyes hungry, devouring me.

  I wanted for nothing in his arms.

  Though he was the Prince of Darkness, he’d made me feel nothing but light.

  “You’re his prisoner. His payment.”

  “I know.” I sighed. “Part of me is indignant. The other part… The other part of me doesn’t care at all.”

  “Ah, crap,” Jax muttered.

  “What?” I asked in amusement.

  “You’re not going to like what I have to tell you. You’re not going to like it at all.”

  I frowned at his cryptic words, but I held my tongue. I’d wait until he told me in his own time.

  We descended through the sky—he flew effortlessly through the murky clouds. I nearly stumbled when Jax suddenly let go of me. We were now on solid ground.

  My feet sank into the plush grass. I looked around, expecting to find us in the meadow of Eden, the Tree close by. But, we weren’t in a valley. We were on the top of a plateau, and if I looked in the distance, I could see the shadows of the rolling hills and the Tree, which was a silver blur of leaves shaking under the star-lit sky.

  “Sit,” Jax said, gesturing to the grass.

  “Where are we?” I asked. “Gargoyle terrain?”

  He shook his head. “Harpy.”

  “Harpy?” I felt my heart trip in fear.

  Jax’s stone teeth glimmered in the night as he smiled. “Don’t worry, I’ll protect you.”

  I shoved against his arm. It was cold to the touch. Like the stone he was made from.

  “I’m just kidding. Though they’re insane—and loud when stumbled upon—they won’t harm you. Nothing will. Not as long as you have Lucifer’s protection.”

  “How do you know I have his protection?”

  “You smell of him. Remember?”

  “Ugh. He scent marked me?” Suddenly, Jax was pulling me toward him, dipping my head forward. “What are you doing?”

  Jax didn’t reply as he pulled the hair off my neck. “Shit on a stick. The bastard Hell marked you..”

  “Hell marked me? What does that even mean?”

  Jax released me, his tone grim when he answered, “The siren song from the music box broke your concealment spell. But you now carry Lucifer’s physical mark, which means you’re linked. No spell will ever conceal you from him again.” He stood up quickly and reached his hand down. “Come on, we have no time to lose.”

  I grasped his hand and hauled myself up. “Where are we going?”

  “To see the Smith. He’s your only hope. In the meantime, there’s something I can do to buy us a little time.”

  Before I could ask what, Jax grabbed my shoulders, yanked my hair aside, and tore into the flesh at the base of my skull with his stone teeth.

  “You asshole,” I howled.

  “Ugh, your blood is sweet. It makes me want to vomit.” Jax turned his head and spat. When he looked back at me, a trail of blood ran down his chin.

  “I thought only vampires liked blood,” I taunted, forcing myself not to reach behind my neck to feel the gaping wound.

  “Lots of creatures like blood,” he said.

  “I was kidding about vampires. Everyone knows they’re not real.”

  “Yes, they are. Of course they are. They like their blood young, virginal…sweet.”

  “I’m not a virgin anymore,” I snapped. “So how is my blood still sweet?”

  “Fuck if I know,” he growled back. “It’s not really important.”

  “You’re right. We should be talking about how you just ripped the flesh from my body.”

  “You’ll heal. Besides, I ripped his mark from your body. But you regenerate since you’re immortal, and it will only be a matter of time before the mark grows back. By the way, this is the part where you say thank you.”

  “You’re unhinged.”

  He grinned. His teeth were stained with blood. My stomach revolted and I turned my head and threw up.

  “Didn’t take you for a woman with a weak stomach.”

  I discreetly wiped my mouth and wished for some water. “Who is the Smith?”

  “He’s”—he paused—“kind of like the Sibyl.”

  “He’s an oracle?”

  “More like a smith of all trades. Wordsmith, metalsmith, allegorysmith. Just wait. There’s no real way to describe him.”

  He took my hand and we started jogging.

  “Wait! Why aren’t we flying?” I demanded.

  “You prefer that mode of transportation, do you?” he asked in amusement.

  “Seems pretty convenient.”

  “We can only find The Smith on foot. He’s on the other side of harpy terrain. If we get to him before your mark grows back, you might have a chance.”

  “A chance? At what?”

  “Of getting out of here,” he said. “Of breaking the bargain between Lucifer and your parents.”

  My mind whirled. I could be free again?

  Find the three.

  “It’s about the three pearls, isn’t it? They’re a part of this?”

  “Yes. I was going to tell you what I knew, but then he…came to you.”

  “Do gargoyles blush? I swear you’re blushing.”

  “You’re like the little sister I never wanted,” he teased. “How’s the neck?”

  “It’s no longer bleeding, I don’t think.” I grimaced. I wanted to wash the gross off me.

  “Okay, let’s pick up the pace.”

  “Pick it up? We’re already running.”

  “Yeah, and we have miles to go before we get to the Smith. You won’t tire, immortal one.” He laughed. “I’ll tell you the story of the three pearls to keep your mind occupied.”

  “The three pearls I have to find. Right. Okay. I’m listening.”

  “There were three ancient queens. Helen, Hecuba, and Dido.”

  “Dido? Like the singer?”

  “Hush.”

  “Sorry.”

  “Helen was the Queen of Sparta. Hecuba was the Queen of Troy. And Dido was the Queen of Carthage. Three beautiful women. Three powerful women. Three women who each found their demise because of men.

  “When each queen died, her shade was given a pearl by Persephone, Hades’s wife, the Goddess of the Underworld. They were able to pass into their afterlife to find eternal tranquility, something they never found in their mortal lives.

  “Before each queen passed to their afterlife, they hid their pearl, knowing that one day another powerful woman would be beholden to a man. The woman was to find the three pearls, and only then would she be law unto herself. Stella”—his hand tightened around mine—“you are the woman who must find the pearls.”

  “Me?”

  “It’s not just about freeing yourself from Lucifer’s hold. You are the greatest empath the world has ever seen. Your fate is tied to humanity’s. Without you free in the world to ease the burdens of humans, they will fall into darkness.”

  “He’ll win,” I realized aloud. “Lucifer will win. Darkness will win.”

  “The lights of human so
uls will be extinguished. They will become broken and jaded; they will become living monsters and destroy themselves and the entire world they inhabit. Without you to save them, no good will exist.”

  Lightheaded, I wanted to collapse on the ground, but I forced my legs to keep up with Jax. “How do you know this?”

  “Because the Sibyl told me a prophecy after the city of Troy fell. She spoke of the woman who’d become prisoner to Lucifer and explained that if I helped this woman, then I could atone for the crime I had committed when I was human.”

  “What crime, Jax?” I whispered, wondering if he’d heard me over the wheezing of my breath, over the silence of the night.

  “I was the one responsible for the destruction of Troy. The Trojan Horse was my idea, Stella.”

  Chapter 17

  “I thought Odysseus came up with the idea,” I murmured.

  “Fucker took all the credit.” He sighed. “I was also one of the soldiers in the belly of the horse. I helped sack the city.”

  Jax was responsible for the collapse of one of the greatest empires in history. Though Troy couldn’t be substantiated by historians, it was real. Cassandra had told me stories.

  “You loathe me now, don’t you?”

  “I don’t know how I feel about it,” I admitted. “Or you.”

  I didn’t want to know what else he’d done. Surely, the destruction of an entire kingdom hadn’t been all he’d done. Men were slain, women raped, children taken as slaves.

  The world was cruel. History was told from the perspective of the victors and often their evils were veiled in their lies.

  “Why can’t I ease your burdens?” I asked him as we continued on.

  “Because I’m mostly stone,” Jax commented. “You look confused.”

  “I am confused. About your motives. You’re not here to really help me, are you? Not because you’re actually altruistic?”

  “Altruism doesn’t exist and you know it.”

  “That’s not true.”

  “Oh, for the love of—you can’t be that naive, can you? You ease burdens, why? Because you have to or you’ll go mad. It’s not the same as volunteering out of the goodness of your soul.”

 

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